The Office of Michelle Obama has officially joined Twitter.

You know, it really isn’t.

Yes! And as a tribute to her fabled humility, the first tweet would like you to wish her a happy birthday:

What a gal.

Hopefully it’s fertilizer for her fake garden.

We don’t need to tell you that we’re just thrilled:

Welcome, FLOTUS! Sugar-free, reduced-fat, eco-friendly soy cake for everybody!


Oh, and as of noon ET, she has yet to follow her husband:

  • Elaine

    Will she post all her VACA photos for us? We’d like to see what we got for our millions. :)

  • Bob Smooper

    There are racial code words used in this post.

    The hidden suggestion is that you right-wingers should abuse, attack, and insult MIchelle on twitter.

    • NachoCheese (D)

      Oh noes “racial code words”?!

      Did you use your Super Secret Prog Code Words Decoder Ring to find them? If so, where can I get one of those? I would like keep an eye out for those dastardly code words (that are magically only detected by progs)!

    • Elaine

      Hey Mark, maybe you thought that said ‘”foetus?” hahaha

    • Jack Deth

      Memo to Mark:

      Mayor McCheese called. He wants his Village Idiot back.

    • michael s

      Its not hidden. Its blatant. To be expected. their example of a great woman is Jenna jameson. Go figure.

      • NachoCheese (D)

        Wait…now the racial code words are not hidden (anymore?)?

        I am still waiting for my Super Secret Prog Code Words Decoder Ring, so care to point out these “blatant racial code words” for me?

        • twinx

          You’ll just have to buy another box of CrackerJack!

      • Joe W.

        Jenna Jameson is twice the lady that the grifter in the White House is.

        • rinodino

          Sorry but your hand can’t comment on who’s more of a lady

          • Joe W.

            My hand comments about nothing, squid. Any thinking person knows that the First Sasquatch is a lot of things, pal…but a lady she is not.

      • dmacleo

        you may idolize porn stars, I don’t.

    • Joe W.

      Don’t speak of the First Wookie that way, Shitforbrains…

    • TugboatPhil

      We don’t need no stinkin’ suggestions! We abuse, attack and insult her merely because she’s as big a fraud as her goofy husband.

      Oh, and we’re really over being scared of being called racist. In fact, it’s pretty funny at how easily the word is thrown around now.

    • dmacleo



      hidden suggestion??? where is it hidden? Only hidden to you because Liberals are so darn stupid!

    • Rabid

      Who needs encouragement? This stuff pretty much writes itself!!

    • lana ward

      With her new “do” she looks like an orangatang shih tzu, instead of just an orangatang. Those are racial code words LOL!!

  • Michael Vezie

    Wait, I’m confused. That’s now how you spell flatus…

    • Sheldon Cooper

      I think the correct spelling is fatass

  • Purple State

    Slow outrage day, huh.

  • kayakingfatso

    She’s no lady.

    • Katielee4211

      You can put lipstick on a pig….

  • bonnieblue2A

    I stopped announcing my B-day after I reached age 16. Is the FLOTUS really that immature? or, does her narcissistic disorder really just run that deep that she seeks attention?

    • Chevypowered

      To answer both questions. Yes and yes. :-)

    • TugboatPhil

      To answer your questions: Yes. Yes.

      Those were way too easy. Please come up with more difficult questions for the Bonus Round.

  • Jack Deth

    Memo from FLOTUS to Low Intelligence Voters:

    “It’s My Birthday!”

    Response from Low Intelligence Voters to FLOTUS:

    “What’s in it for us?”

  • rinodino

    I agree 100% with Twitchy on this!
    Slow News Day

    • Joe W.

      No one cares what YOU agree with about anything, Needlenose.

      • rinodino

        You do, clown

        • Joe W.


  • David Shrock

    Look someone leftist a FLOTUS in the bowl…….

    • dmacleo

      I just snorted coffee LOL
      good one :)

  • JustLikeAnimals

    Another attention whore on Twitter. How is that news?

  • lainer51

    There are racial code words used in this post.

    The hidden suggestion is that you lib whackjobs should abuse, attack, and insult good looking women on twitter (because all the good looking ones are conservatives – sorry)

  • dmacleo

    is FO and die an appropriate wish?

  • Michelle

    Well, the good news is, the account will expire in just over 4 years (and oh how I still wish it was only a few days instead).

  • precursor

    A fat cow on twitter….MO……say it isn’t so.

  • Lady 12

    Is Oblamea following her, THAT is the question!

  • madian_kikyou

    I’ll wish her one when she sends wishes me one. Until then.. nope. I don’t even know her.

  • Constance

    Yeah, happy birthday. Want us to fly you somewhere else around the world to celebrate? How about a whole new wardrobe on our dime, or perhaps a villa somewhere expensive where you can relax and get away from the horrors of living in the White House? Hey, anything for you, honey. The most classy and beautiful First Lady we’ve ever had, right? Whatever.

  • putthehammerdown

    In Response, here is a sample return message i would like to send to Moochelle :
    “Dear Moochelle {First Lady} Obama,
    Here is hoping you have a really pleasurable, hedonistic birthday, filled with Mirth, Merriment and Much Happiness.
    While you-all are a-celebratin’, I would encourage you to think often of the Hurricane Sandy Victims who were promised so much by your {Great Leader} husband , but who have seen very little real action and are in deepest despair even while you ‘get your party on’……
    I would also encourage you to give salutations to The Deceased Libyan Ambassador’s Family and friends , and while we’re at it , The Consulate Guard’s and the Border Patrol’s {deceased agents} ‘homies’ could use a little lovin’, at the same time.
    We’re all so glad you are on ‘Twitter’ now, as we were wondering what in hell we’d do without this ‘written salvation from on high’, you will now be dispensing.
    Mr.Know Bodie Kares ‘Boutcha
    Flyover Country, USA.”

  • Katielee4211

    Wonder how much money she’s wearing in her ears and on her arms?

  • twinx

    Dear Michelle, Kindly KISS MY ASS. Very sincerely, Twinx

  • twinx

    FLOTUS: FreeLoader Of The United States

  • Purple State

    Hilarious that Twitchy (aka Michelle Malkin) would mock someone for having more than one Twitter account.

    Self-awareness is hard.

  • Guest

    FLOTUS says, ♫♪ “It’s my Birthday, and I’ll tweet if I want to; tweet if I want to; tweet if I want to!” ♫♪

  • lana ward

    Wish her a happy birthday only if it’s her last birthday