President Obama came down from his ivory tower today to address the looming fiscal cliff and reassure the American public that no matter what happens, he’s only looking out for us. He prefaced his speech like so:

Despite that flitting moment of self-awareness, he kept talking, flanked by a human rainbow:

Isn’t that special? Regardless of the color of your skin, you can rest assured that Daddy Obama will take care of you:

Oh, and also? He won. Spike that football, baby!

His cheering audience stopped just short of hoisting him on their shoulders and parading him around the room:

Twitterers were quick to notice that for a guy who claims to take our welfare very seriously, he doesn’t seem to be all that serious:

Key to Shecky Obama’s standup routine? Blaming Republicans, natch:

Thank goodness we have a practical, post-partisan president!

Just a shame that after all that, we’re no clearer on our fate. Aside from blaming and mocking the GOP, President Obama really didn’t offer any insight as to where negotiations stand:

Other than to reiterate his desire to compromise by forcing dissenters to bow to his will:

Sure is a neat trick, huh?

That makes 300 million of us.

Happy New Year, America.

  • carla5731

    If Obama believes in “shared sacrifice” I want him to foot the bill for my $4 million Hawaiian vacation.

    • Aaron

      C’mon now. Obama and his cronies share the spoils of our collective sacrifice. Not the other way around.

  • FatBoySlimDude

    What a joke. Now I hope we go over the cliff, this prez is so juvenile. Sorry state of affairs in the USA. Nothing they (congress) is doing will do anything for solving our nation’s problems.

  • Rella

    What this shows is that THE ONE is ticked off. The adults had to get together and put a deal through without him. He wanted to go over the cliff but the Senate Dems blinked. The deal today is less than what Boehner offered him earlier. He knows he can’t veto so if he can’t tick off R’s to kill the deal he’s at least going to go to his adoring idiots and play for the camaras.

  • Garth Haycock

    4 more years of arrogance and condescension. ugh.

  • PennyRobinsonFanClub

    CONTINUING spending cuts? What the hell government program has he ever seen that he wanted to cut?

    • Rella

      He’d love to cut out all of the military /defense. Also aid to Israel.

    • MascisMan

      You didn’t know? Whenever Obama doesn’t INCREASE spending on a government program he considers that a “cut.”

  • nc

    Stephen Hayes

    “Is the president trying to kill any possible deal? What’s the point of attacking Rs at this point?”

    Mr. Hayes, this is such a great question. I’m sure the WH press corp members are falling over each other so they can be the first to ask him. Yeah, right.

  • detroit19


  • Jack Deth

    Thank you, Low Intelligence Voters and Democrat Voter Fraud 4.0. For putting a petulant, perpetually arrogant and snotty nine year old BACK in the White House!!!