Starting today, we are shifting to a two-tiered service: Everyone can use our basic service, Twttr, but you only get consonants. For five dollars a month, you can use our premium “Twitter” service which also includes vowels.We’re doing this because we believe that by eliminating vowels, we’ll encourage a more efficient and “dense” form of communication. We also see an opportunity to diversify our revenue stream. Here’s our mockup of the most retweeted Tweet of all time as it would appear in the new Twttr:




  • jpcrotser

    Twttr kps t clssr. Vrr nc. Nlk Ggl, wh hd n sns f hmr.

  • jpcrotser

    Oh, and by the way, I’m not surprised that Obama’s Twitter feed complied to the new no vowels rule because his staff would not pay for the premium Twitter, you know, since that sequester thing. But wait, didn’t they have spelling trouble in Oiho late last year?

  • Stone Bryson

    Wait, people use vowels on Twitter?

  • therantinggeek

    Vt p f y cn rd ths.

  • RblDiver

    But….if they do this…how can Obama say “I” 500 times per tweet?

  • Roto

    “Obama Vows to Repeal Obamacare and Cut Spending ‘For Good of the Country”

    ….. pun intended & April Fools!!!