Seriously, our sides are burning with ache.

That’s right: President Obama not only said that things are working just fine and that the Obamacare product is good, but he also offered up the phone as a wave of the future!

No, really. It happened.

Twitter users cannot stop gasping for breath. Out: President Stompy Foot. In: President Infomercial


Hey, what’s that magical phone number again?

Yep. Even the national Obamacare phone number confirms we are screwed.

As for the president’s oh-so-swift fix?

Stop! Is this real life? How can we parody a self-parody? For that alone, he must pay.

Ha! It’s all working fine and all. The product is soooo good!

And an exit suggestion:



Summed up:

Not. The. Onion.


‘Utterly incredible!’ Obama says nothing to see here; Obamacare disaster is ‘working just fine’

Screwed? Confirmed! Don’t miss hilarious national Obamacare phone number [pic]

  • QueenB ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    So basically, the website is more comfortable working on the phone or in person? Makes total sense. Yay Obama!!!

    • snowleopard (the true one)

      With the administration, failure is always guaranteed.

      • rssllue

        100% money back guarantee. Well, probably no money back.

        • David H Dennis

          Well, you can’t spend any money if the site doesn’t work … :)

  • Maypo

    Always remember….he can sing like Al Green, has nice, shiny white teeth, can read a teleprompter with style, and likely ain’t bad at analyzing basketball games.

    • Republicanvet

      …and he’s clean and articYOUlet…

      • Chrissy the Hyphenated

        Unless it’s a hard word like corpsman

        • mike_in_kosovo

          Or “Pocky-stahn”

    • Cindy Taylor

      and read a letter from ONE person that said it worked for her!!!

      • Spamalot

        It worked for my friend. That didn’t mean it was a good thing – her Blue Cross premium was $500 per month, deductible: $1500. Under Obama Care it’s $3000 per month with a $30,000 deductible. Oh yeah – the website worked for her all right. Oh yay! 😐

        • John C. Oldham

          Nothing like having a deductible that is higher than the price of a new car.

        • CaptainClarity

          Most of these new “health care” plans I keep hearing about sound better suited for death and dismemberment situations.

          • Scott H

            For stunt performers like Evel Knievel…!

        • Kathleen Oc

          I’ve heard that if you want RX there is a separate deductible of about $6,000 for that too. @@

    • karmafordems

      He’s hawking amateur. com

  • Matt

    Of course the call center is down. It’s nighttime in India.

    • Clayton Grant


    • Guest

      Actually it’s Serco that has the contract, US citizens will be working for it but none are hired and Serco is an English company…

      • Zane Henry

        lovely. another call center staffed by temps/contractors who have no accountability and will enter and exit through a revolving door. Some of them with our personal information on their person.

        No effing way I’m signing up for this nonsense. Fine me.

        • Bear1909

          When is Lifelock’s IPO scheduled to launch?

  • Republicanvet

    So what gets thrown in for free if we call in the next 10 minutes?

    C’mon Baghdad Bobo, you gotta work your constituents better. They’re lookin for free shtuff.

  • arttie

    The app is on soft clay with a wooden stylus. Now where is that cuniform dictionary?

    • AMERICAN Kafir™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈwhitey


      • GaryTheBrave

        The bird in Fred Flintstone’s camera. “Meh . . . It’s a living.”

  • LinTaylor ✓vitrified

    Will Obamacare cover sides split and guts busted as a result of laughing at its utter failure? If so, we’re all gonna have to sign up ASAP.

    • larrybud

      No. In fact, I believe you’ll have to be put down for those ailments,


      K. Sebelius.

  • forgetyoutooo

    Welcome to the Obamacare 1 for Spanish speaking navigator….press 150 for English understanding navigator.

    • GaryTheBrave

      English understanding. Not English speaking. I see what you did there.

    • Kathleen Oc

      Yeah, that’s another thing. IF this is just supposed to be for CITIZENS then shouldn’t all those CITIZENS have had to pass an English test in order to become CITIZENS? Why then the 150 languages???

    • WisconsinPatriot

      (DEEP FOREIGN VOICE) This is Peggy!

  • ObamaFail

    And what happens then? Suddenly phone lines are clogged and you won’t be able to get through, so it’s not like that solves anything

    • Bear1909

      Eat the gun, Gary. Or, you can hook up the garden hose to your Pontiac. Some people prefer to get cleaved by a willing relative. Get the term insurance payout. You have options, Dude.

  • BlahBlah

    So I guess blaming Bush, Cruz is out, Bell is in. Got it.

    • arttie

      No blame Al Gore, he invented the interwebbie thing-a-mabob.

      • BlahBlah

        Yes but the phones are down now.

        • Marjorie

          Can we blame Alexander Graham Bell?

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            See my response to blah below Marjorie. 😉

    • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

      Bell had Unitarian views, disagreed with having organized religions, and was Nazi like. Or simply put… progressive liberal. So no, you can’t blame him Blah.

  • Sunny Hiller

    did any1 else notice @barakobama said… they will have your info to contact you to get you signed up .. so look for irs at your door in near future

  • John LaRosa
  • Cy

    Oh my god this is hilarious. Maybe we were a little to hasty when we got rid of the telegraph.

    • Guest

      Telephonics is mo bettah.

      • Republicanvet

        I want the teleEbonics version.

      • GaryTheBrave

        Need to get guidance from Dingy Harry on telephony communications. Emphasis on the phony.

    • arttie

      We can always fall back to the pony express. Oh wait that won’t work either.

    • karmafordems

      No, Heiroglyphics

      • AMERICAN Kafir™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈwhitey

        Smoke signals?

        • Bear1909

          Done killed all us injuns, Bitch. :-)

    • GaryTheBrave

      I’m a ham radio operator. If you need someone to translate into Morse let me know.

      • Bear1909

        Muslims won’t touch ham, Gar.

        • Ryan Schneider.

          ‘Nuttin but mutton, eh?

        • Jay Stevens

          And that is a problem?

  • Jack Deth

    Why should I burn down my cell phone’s battery calling someone I have no desire to.
    In order to “buy” something I have no need for?

    I’ll wait until the dreaded IRS SWAT Team and their Dope and/or Money Sniffing Rhino crashes in the door.

    Did Obama start hawking free Ginsu knives before this fiasco wound down?

  • Conservative First

    What a surprise that a community organizer can’t be the CEO of the tech company and hospital that the fed government is trying to become.

  • arttie

    2 cans and a string?

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      lol, Aprox. 380 mil people on just 2 cans and how many miles of string….infinite Loop to 0CommieCrapCare! 😉

  • Captain America’s Wife

    All I can say is WOW!!!

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty


  • spaceycakes

    please contact your healthcare professional if you have been on hold with an erection for longer than 4 hours.

    • Republicanvet

      On hold on a 900 call? I bet that’s gonna be spendy.

      • Chris

        Now come on, you know that none of HIS people are calling 900 #s. They are way to upstanding…. (or cheap if you say it in plain English).

    • Marjorie

      …or look at Hillary’s picture.

      • Bear1909

        her back end looks like… two VW Beetles tryin to merge…. a sack of toads… a bag o rabbits on crack…. sponge bob’s fat suit…. 4000 pounds of corn nuts…. the Wookies butt with race change… you get the picture.

        • Ryan Schneider.


    • William Kent Jenkins

      a little Viagraish is a hard thing

  • nc ✓s & balances

    Why should the phone info be true? Nothing else he said this morning was.

  • Marcy Cook

    So I call the 800 number and they tell me to call NY. I call NY and they tell me to go to the website. I go to the website and try to register….thing gets hung up with the “swirl”….still swirling as I type this. Not able to register. Damn this healthcare thing is fabulous!!! The best experience ever.

    • karmafordems

      Give nobama a swirly

      • Ryan Schneider.

        In a Grand Central station stall.

  • Steve_in_RR

    “Hello…my name Peggy”…figures.

  • Republicanvet

    Someone needs to photoshop a headset on Baghdad Bobo’s head like the Shamwow guy.

    • Insidious

      Lol alredy done and circulating around the webs

    • vetgal1970
      • Republicanvet

        Perfect. Preezy Shamwow.

    • World B. Free

      It’s been done. Just google “Obama Sham Wow” and you’ll get tons of hits.

      • Bear1909

        the Grifter in Chief

  • RickH

    Surprised no one has caught on to what an historic moment this PR event was. It’s the first time tech support has been outsourced to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

  • Sakemoto

    Call 1-800 F1UCK-YOU! Order Now!

    • GaryTheBrave

      It’s our half off sale! Pay full price and we’ll give you half the coverage.

  • Cindy Taylor

    So millions spent on a website made in Canada with 10 yr old technology but HEY – it’s okay….just bypass it and make a phone call.

    • Republicanvet

      Yeah, $634 million for a clusterfluke web site or a phone call.

      Shoulda just advertised the freaking number and saved the money.

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      Mark Stein (sittin’ in for Rush) stated the Queen fired CGI Federal for screwing up a project of theirs for less money.

      • michael s

        The shmendrik’s name is spelled Steyn.

        • Zane Henry

          That comment is just dripping with butthurtness!

        • Corey Dennison

          Grow up, you little crybaby. Just because you see your hero’s grand plan collapsing in front of the nation’s eyes is no reason to get tears in yours.

    • northofmontana

      why blame Canada ,when ever they would get close to catching up ,a buncha fools would keep coming up with new stuff.suck it up and blame the us administration. Then go vote democrat again.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Sound the Clarions. We know why it is not working…
    You have to be using an ObamaPhone!
    If you aren’t, then surely you know that is why it didn’t work! Pre-programmed to speed dial 1800fuckyo!

  • Republicanvet

    I get it now! Maybe the phone signals are stronger than the interweb signals.


  • Carl Smith


    • arttie

      But he has theNSA, how can this be? They could sign him up.

    • Bear1909

      Can his Flying Monkey Valerie Jarrett get online?

  • Marvin Nelson

    The next fifty thousand callers will receive a set of Ginzu knives and a proctology set so that you be able to bend over properly when you receive your premium numbers.

    • Republicanvet

      …the home ‘Roid health care set…

      • Marvin Nelson

        LOL. Good one!

    • Ryan Schneider.

      Unfortunately a shipping error has mixed up some of the knives with rectal exam tools, so do it yourself colonoscopy bags will be included.

  • Paul Alvarez

    The website doesn’t work and nobody’s answering the phones. Now what? Buy stamps.

  • tjp77

    Who would have thought that trying to set up a mandatory healthcare program to serve 380 million people would be an utterly unworkable, sisyphean boondoggle, well beyond the ability of our generally incompetent federal bureaucracy?

    Oh wait, we did.

  • $28125632

    Do we get our fortunes read as well?

    • RickH

      Fortunes read? No. Confiscated? Coming soon.

    • in_awe

      No need. Any sentient being knows where we are heading…

  • Chris F.

    I prefer Pony Express. Is that an option? (and, no, I’m not bashing FedEx. I figure the real Pony Express is just as good as any online option.

  • Hoek

    Any one notice how many time Obama mentioned pre-exiting conditions in his speech? This is probably the only group who might be helped by the ACA.

  • Sharon B

    I’m trying with Morse Code now ….—-….

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      That be 0’Morse Code 0…_ — – – .. –0..–…_ -_-_

      • Chris

        You are on it with the O’ thing. It is a nice touch though. Kinda puts his “spin” on everything, right?

        • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

          It is all about him. Just the telephone number that you dial…ends in the letter 0.

          His symbol, not ours.

          • Chris

            Thats oblivious, crap, I mean obvious. We know this is his show and we just get to be along for the ride.

  • Marty Haas

    Original Plan:
    Step One, make it mandatory that millions sign up.
    Step Two, claim everyone is excited about it and supports it because they do sign up.

  • celestiallady

    don’t send by carrier pigeon – they have disappeared too!

    • arttie

      Service dogs will be eaten, so they are out too.

  • Dingus

    YOLO You’re Obviously Lost Obama

  • Tman95

    Should I call before midnight, tonight?

  • in_awe

    Coming to a phone near you:

    1-900 pay-per-call Obamacare service.

    Yes, your credit card will be immediately debited by the Obamacare call center for your annual premium when your call is connected. Just think how convenient that will be! /s

  • AmericanLass

    AHCircle, call the number, where you are told to visit web site that doesn’t work, so you call the number again where you are tol………

  • sharjff

    as I understand it his thugs are on the other end of phone line.. that is who I want to give my personal info to.. sheeze..

  • Diane Shearer

    He’ll bring back the telegraph and the Pony Express next. Progressives are so into Progress.

  • LegalizeShemp

    Sorry, the government can’t afford Obamaphones anymore leeches, you have to use two Dixie Cups connected by a length of string.

    • benched42

      There’s a LOT of things the government can’t afford that they provide anyway.

  • World B. Free

    It’s actually unfair to the Sham Wow guy to compare him to 0bama, but here goes:

    • Marvin Nelson

      Nice, except that “ShamNOW” should be “ScamNOW.”

  • sarainitaly

    Obamacare is ready! Call or log on now!

    • Chevypowered

      Technology at it’s finest?

      • Frances Maddox

        Just wait until the ‘sign ups’ pay their premium then try to get service ..I am so thankful I will not be affected, but my heart bleeds for the whole country…birds of a feather flock together, that is what we have with this whole administration, a bunch of ‘sore heads’ that are determined to be ‘Santa’ to get votes, buying them with others money!

  • vetgal1970

    This would be whole lot funnier if people hadn’t already started losing the insurance they HAD, this ‘insurance’ wasn’t mandatory and we hadn’t spent hundreds of millions of dollars on just the website alone.

    How many different ways could that millions of dollars have been used to create a way for people who wanted insurance but were having trouble reaching it actually get something they could use? Instead, Big government does what Big government always does, creates force on the people and delivers waste and inefficiency.

    And don’t bother me with that blather about how the phones are down because it is so popular. You can’t say “You must buy this or it is punishable by law” and also say “Oh look how popular it is”. It is force.

  • Press Watchusa

    I need an AMBULANCE

    Should I call the number?

    • Bear1909

      I’ve fallen and can’t get it up….er no wait..I’ve fallen and can’t get up!

  • W J P

    If only Ted Cruz was on board with Obamacare, it would be working like a charm. Republicans hate health care.

    • tops116 ✓Quipper

      I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the sound of crashing… again.

    • Corey Dennison

      No…they hate a government that forces them into something they never wanted, and then they government proves they couldn’t pour pi$$ out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.

      You Obama dead-enders are funny.

  • RanierWest

    You’re starting to turn me off Twitchy when you post amylutz4 the putz who doesn’t meet the Breitbart standard of #WAR

    • mike_in_kosovo

      I must’ve missed the part in Twitchy’s “about” page where they state that all posted tweets must be pre-approved by RanierWest…

      • RanierWest

        Don’t be a dick and don’t go off on tangents.

        • mike_in_kosovo

          Good advice – maybe you should try following it, since you did both.

          • RanierWest

            I, we get it… you’re a last word child troll who has got a thing for amylutz4… and you speak on behalf of Twitchy – if you were a moderator – oh that’s right you’re not — this is Michelle Malkin’s site and you can get lost Opie!

          • mike_in_kosovo

            Speaking of going off on tangents…..

          • mike_in_kosovo

            this is Michelle Malkin’s site

            Why, yes…yes it is – so tell us again why you came on her site spouting off about Breitbart, again?

            Y’know…with you being all concerned about being a dick and going off on tangents, and all.

          • RanierWest

            Thank You for showing the depths of your ignorance… Kindly excuse yourself until you get informed. Come back when you come to your senses! #BreitbartIsHere

          • mike_in_kosovo

            And…you’re thinking MM holding a breitbart sign proves your point…how?

            And thanks for proving MY point about your being a dick and going on tangents.

          • Ryan Schneider.

            Who the bloody hell is amylutz4?? Or did I just come out from under a rock?

          • mike_in_kosovo

            Someone RW has a hate-on for, evidently. Maybe she turned him down for a date or something.

            Edit to add: Her tweet is in the article, above.

  • rambler

    Well, his signature legislation is just like him. It’s PRESENT! It doesn’t work, aggravates the public and sucks up a lot of money with lies.

    • Bear1909

      OginaCare….turd in the punch bowl….Ogina pinched a steaming loaf on national tv today…the Democrats cheered and one putz fainted from the raptcha…. Ogina is a flippin dope.

      • Ryan Schneider.

        You should flesh this line out into a script for a skit and submit it to south park.

  • MILAN68


  • Klunk

    So… in case the Obamacare website doesn’t load for you, call the 1-800 number and they will read the website’s error page to you. Got it.

  • Gunilla Skoglund

    Assistance in 150 languages, why? Are people calling from Afghanistan to sign up?

  • jukin

    BUT wait there’s more. The first 30 million to get through to our operato…er navigators get a double premium. Just pay twice as much for less care.

  • redheadgrl

    However, our hospitals and doctor’s clinics are MANDATED to be all electronic on MU2 certified software by 2015 or they will be FINED. #ACAnotaffordable

  • bkeyser

    Susan Rice will be on the Sunday shows this week telling everyone that the log-in problems are due to traffic being routed through YouTube.

    • Bear1909

      They’re going to throw Hadji back in prison…”Get back in there you scum sucking dog…it’s all because of your nasty little video that this thing burned.”

      Sunday Show Meat Puppet Bob Schieffer: Well, Director Rice, what comes out of a Chinaman’s a$$? (C’mon! Toss my salad you tart!)

  • Bill A

    This would all be hilarious if this arrogant fool wasn’t destroying 1/6th of the economy.

  • Mark

    Try 1-800-FUCK-YOU. A lady’s voice will answer and say, “If you are trying to reach Obamacare, press 1; if you are not trying to reach Obamacare, press 2.” Press 1, and you are redirected to the healthcare hotline; press 2, however, and another feminine voice welcomes you to 1-888-FREE-SEX. Like Obamacare, it’s not sex and it’s not free.

  • Michael C

    I need a Obama phone so I can call for Obama care!

  • Sonya A. Willis

    “Operators are standing by…”

  • AnnaGraceS

    Bawahahahahaha some of these are hilarious!!! Obama: Just call 1-800-f-u-c-k-y-o to get signed up!

  • Joy

    I’m shocked at the fact that the phone number IS actually 800-318-2596 or 800-F1U-CKYO…Unbelievable!!!

    • Bear1909

      It’s OGINACARE, Joy! Believe it!

  • rssllue

    It’s getting really real now folks!

  • Nichole Chevrie

    Yes it is true! Press 2 and see what that says….you might be shocked.

  • John Marston

    Only $19.95. But wait! Call right now …………………………….

  • paulhogue

    Incompetence on a world-class scale…my vocabulary simply isn’t big enough to describe it. Can anybody help?

    • Bear1909

      Call the number and order the SuckADick Chicken. Isss reerry reerry gude.

  • John Parker

    If you act now, you will get two for the price of one. Just pay for separate shipping and handling.

  • CaptainClarity

    Does ObamaCare get to use the official “As Seen On TV” stamp now?

    If I order today will I also get a PocketHose, Chillow, ChopTastic or Ruggies?

    “But WAIT! If you call right now, you will receive TWO health care plans for the price of ONE! That’s right, TWO health care plans for the price of ONE! But you must call now! ”

    (Fast, muffled disclaimer-guy voice):
    “Get Obamacare for only 12 easy payments of $499.99 (per year/per person).”
    “Offer excludes most taxpaying Americans.”
    “Call now – operators are standing by………………. maybe”

    • Scott

      He needs “SLAP CHOP/BITCH SLAP- you’re GONNA LOVE MY NUTS, VINCE” to do his infomercials!!

    • Bear1909

      No you get that underwear bra cleavage cover or the NoNo GayBoyz Binkee Shaver.

  • Scott H

    It’s because Serco hasn’t hired anyone yet! You know, the English company that is contracted with administering Obamacare? #outsourcedjobs

  • Achybreakycrotch

    It’s only a flesh wound….

  • Ken Alan Draper

    Call before midnight & the president will throw in another Shamwow for free!

  • ELC

    If desperate to sign up it wouldn’t surprise me if Odumbo says we can write it all out on TP. He’ll do anything for us to get hooked.

  • ELC

    Odumbo is recommending either paper as in TP or the phone. Next thing to go down will be the phones. Press #1 for English #2 for Spanish #3 for all other. The volume of calls will go up and the phone system will crash. Another brilliant idea from idiot in chief.

  • GaylePutt

    I want to know just where that $500B went. Either a lot of O’s buddies just got rich or we taxpayers got royally screwed by this Canadian company.

    • GaylePutt

      Or was it $500M? Whatever…I still want to know where it went.

  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Harry Reid tries to enroll in Obamacare

  • rm1evo

    This is some funny shet.

  • Perplexed

    Everytime Obama or one of his minions goes before the cameras to talk about how great Obamacare is it reminds me of the tonic salesman in Pete’s Dragon who could never remember the name of the town he was in.

  • Jay Stevens

    What next? Western Union?

    Or perhaps I never should have discarded my old Model 33 ASR.

  • Phebelyn

    And here he was ‘beating’ Romney in technology during the campaign. Beating him so bad, they reported…..blah, blah…what happened? There is absolutely no excuse for this website failure!

    I’m beginning to think it WAS on purpose.

  • TerrorSquad

    Everything is working as planned you teabaggers.

    • angel_e

      The “progressives” sure are obsessed with “teabaggin”. Apparently, one of their favorite pass-times.

      • Guy Ralstin

        Yes , it is the traditional progressive way to greet themselves.

        • Bear1909

          They are all Ballchinnians, Guy.

  • Richard Nightwood

    Seems like it would be quicker to head down to the local ACORN office and talk to a Navigator directly.

    What? No ACORN office in your area, that will need to be remedied.

  • Patsy Hicks Chrysson

    Wow. This is doubleunplusgood.

  • Obama my Nigga

    So advanced ATM technology is killing jobs and now advanced telephone technology is killing website developer jobs? Not!

  • fivebyfive

    Try a carrier pigeon or morse code, couldn’t be worse.

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    Next week:

    “Some people are just more comfortable with smoke signals.”

  • DefCon99

    I hear the Pony Express will be the next vehicle to reappear.

  • Thomas, Snarkmaster General

    Hey, Obamacare? Miss Cleo called. She says you’re a scam.

  • Nicole Coulter

    When you call the 800 number, does an ACORN representative help you set up a tax shelter for your teenage prostitution ring?

  • michael s

    Bunch of bitter clingers . Just angry the people you supported conceded in the govt shutdown. Angry because Pres Obama won and Obamacare wasn’t defeated. These 2nd grade fits on the website, are a compensation for ypur failure.

    • angel_e

      Nobody won, genius. We all lose.

      Everyone will be hit hard except for the very wealthy and the very poor. Too bad for the rest.

      Many are already feeling the effects. But its only the beginning.

      The only difference is that the staunch supporters deserve what’s coming. The rest of us are being dragged along for the ride, thank you very much.

    • Brian Bayley

      Yeah that’s exactly it…you’re not in denial or completely ignorant or anything.

    • Perplexed

      Barack Obama promised if I liked my insurance plan In could keep it. He lied. My plan is being canceled because of obamacare. My son’s hours have been cut because of Obamacare. I have plenty to be bitter about. These are real lives that are being played with. But it isn’t the conservatives having tantrums and using terms like arsonists, jehadists, terrorists, hostage takers, horsewhipping and of course racist. If Obama’s liberal utopia is so wonderful, why can’t you liberals sell it with cogent arguments rather than resorting to threats and bitter rhetoric and name calling. If Obama’s liberal utopia is so great, why aren’t liberals happy, gleeful and filled with love? Perhaps your rose colored glasses are getting a bit foggy.

    • Misanthrope

      Says the guy with no job who lives in the room he grew up in.

  • Kathleen Oc

    Just how much more of this INCOMPETENCY are we going to have to take from this guy and his minions before the sheeple wake up?

    • angel_e

      The so-called “progressives” will never wake up. Even when most of them realize they’re paying high premiums & deductibles for low-quality care — they’ll blame Bush, the Tea Party and “conservatives” — instead of holding those responsible who actually are responsible, including…

      … every single member of Congress who voted to pass the fraud-infested law and the sellout, Chief Justice Roberts who manipulated it into a tax in order to circumvent the Constitution.

  • Frustrated Teacher

    Can morse code and semaphore be next?? These idiots need to be stopped….I fear it is too late.

  • nommoc esnes

    Makes a lot of sense. If Obama and his pals really do want to Cloward-Piven or Climate Change regulation us into a collapsed economy, we better get used to using 19th century technology again.

  • bill_a_bob

    I was able to get through on my soup can and string phone but now I’m on hold for the next available agent!

  • bill_a_bob

    Where’s Billy Mays when you need him??!!

    • Bear1909

      Progressive answer: Billy Mays died because he didnt have health care insurance.

  • checker99

    Call and signup within the next five minutes, and we’ll send you a Do It Yourself Home Abortion Kit FREE!

  • dslodge

    Well they wanted to raise taxes…now since no one can actually sign up they will be taxed for not doing so…Congrats to the Libs for the new tax increase…sneaky way of doing it but hey…you got what you wanted.

  • michael s

    Noticing the faces of all adversaries that are tweeting. If everybody is hurting because of Pres Obama and the ACA,why are only one group of people complaining? Where’s the diversity?

    • Corey Dennison

      Aaaaaannnnddd, here’s Mike with the race card again.

      /surprised face

      • Guy Ralstin

        The loathsome troll named Michael s is on track for the most down votes of the day.

    • Bear1909

      It’s crawling up your sh*tube with you, MIkey. What a dumb bunny you are. Diversity is perversity. You casaba. Next you’ll be callin us Tea Baggaz or some such drivel. The simple truth is the Flying Monkey Brigade has crapped on the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom. It’s really sad because Ogina is really really mad that it happened. I kid, MIkey, I kid. I really wish you and your fellow swimmers could get the insurance you deserve— which is nothing—-zip—- nada—– and pay for the insurance you need. No one deserves ANYTHING. Got it? Go out and get it and let the Flying Monkey Brigade die from neglect.

    • benched42

      Because the majority of those who might complain are already used to anything from mediocrity to complete fail from this President?

  • Gary marshall

    What if you don’t have rotary dial?

  • Joseph Alves

    Can you please post that phone number? Oh that’s right, how could I ever forget. It’s 1-800-f1uc-kyo
    How could anyone forget that one?

  • mikekelley10

    The Obamacarians need millions of young, healthy people to sign up and finance this thing. I’m not sure “low-tech” is the way to reach them, but we’ll soon see.

    • benched42

      Is that “Obamacarians” or “Obama-carrions”?

      • mikekelley10

        Good point.

  • Guy Ralstin

    The 1-800-FU-CK-YO Obamacare number failed after the first 30 callers. If we throw (I mean TAX) another couple hundred million from the suckers (I mean tax payers), we can upgrade to 200+ caller rate. But, seriously, it’s all Oprah’s fault!

  • John Cattani

    I called and left a message; “F**K you back!”

  • PapayaSF

    Don’t worry. If the 800 number and the website don’t work for you, they’ve prepared a version you can install on your own PC.

    • Bear1909

      Oh the horrors. What if my puter uses cassette tape to save data?

  • edlarson

    Next month they’ll be sending out registration packets through the mail…

  • stuckinIL4now

    Hey Prezuhdunce Obumuh, the 1980s called–it wants its obsolescence back.

  • JFinch

    So, since the website is down, we have to call 800 number that then refers us back to broken webiste… We now cannot sign up for OBAMACARE, do we still get penalized for not having health insurance? If so, can we get it prorated do to NOT BEING ABLE TO SIGN THE F*&^ UP!