Stop it! We will soon need to be treated for permanent aching sides, but the error-riddled health insurance exchange websites are still on the fritz!

It’s so convenient that they somehow can’t possibly obtain those numbers, right?

CNN’s Jake Tapper is oh-so-baffled, heh.

Will this puzzle ever be solved?

Ding, ding, ding!

Bingo! Time once again for the Obamacare metaphor pic that never gets old? We think so.

Related:

Snort! Sen. Lee’s comms. director: ‘How do you fix a train wreck?’; Citizens sum up with Obamacare pic

Getting worse! Fed marketplace, state O-Care exchanges: Guys, you can ‘keep’ errors [pics]

Heckuva job! @HealthCareGov shamed into apology after touting glitchy O-care website

Oops! California’s health insurance exchange: It’s you? And spelling is hard [pic]

Online adventures with Obamacare: Reps admit ‘known’ security bug, but ‘please be patient,’ guys

‘So much for security!’ Health insurance websites continue ‘head desk’ fail

Hilarious! DNC touts ‘what affordable care looks like’; Citizens: Fixed it for you, DNC! [pics]

Surprise! Obamacare health insurance exchange websites don’t work; HealthCare.gov a total mess

Snort! Take a gander at this side-splitting handy Obamacare prep guide [pic]

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  • marcellucci

    How many “unique visitors” were from overseas……?

  • Mister A

    They forgot to set up conversion tracking in Google Analytics.

    • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      LOL

      It’s a pay per conversion campaign – they’re bidding $1,000,000 per sign up.

  • Maxx

    This sanctimonious President compared this disaster of a roll out to software glitches experienced by the release of an Apple product and of course, the imbeciles at MSNBC played that sound bite over and over.

    The problem with his asinine analogy is nobody is getting fined for not buying an iPad.

    • ObamaFail

      That’s what liberals refuse to accept. Apple is better than Obamacare because we have a choice whether or not we want to buy Apple products. Obamacare doesn’t give us a choice.

      • Nightvalzin

        Not only that,but with Apple they fix the glitches in both the code and execution.Democrats are working to fix the execution glitches,but won’t let Republicans fix the glitches in the code.

  • ainsworth29

    The NSA has been too busy spying on Americans that it forgot to set up the enrollment spy cam.

  • RblDiver

    Also, “104k web chats requested” How many granted? (Let alone how many finished satisfactorily?)

    • Karin_A

      Good catch, I skipped right over that.

    • http://twitter.com/archaicsteam Archaic

      Also how many were conservatives just asking questions?

  • BlahBlah

    Nobody in the WH can count to 37?

  • ObamaFail

    They must have had a very, very low number of actual enrollments. With the Obama administrations track record of spiking the football whenever they want to brag, they’d be bragging about the number of enrollments if it were worth mentioning.
    All of my neighbors that I have asked about Obamacare, not a single one of them have enrolled. But they all checked out the site to find out what they would have to pay, and all of them are just going to take the fine because none of them can afford the premiums.

    • redheadgrl

      Right. Even with a subsidy, which is given later when you file your tax return, people who couldn’t afford the premium on Sept 30 still can’t afford it on Oct 1.

    • Vennoye

      Posted on FB today:
      A post from the Obamacare Website:

      “I actually made it through this morning at 8:00 A.M. I have a preexisting condition (Type 1 Diabetes) and my income base was 45K-55K annually I chose tier 2 “Silver Plan” and my monthly premiums came out to $597.00 with $13,988 yearly deductible!!! There is NO POSSIBLE way that I can afford this so I “opt-out” and chose to continue along with no insurance. I received an email tonight at 5:00 P.M. informing me that my fine would be $4,037 and could be attached to my yearly income tax return. Then you make it to the “REPERCUSSIONS PORTION” for “non-payment” of yearly fine. First, your drivers license will be suspended until paid, and if you go 24 consecutive months with “Non-Payment” and you happen to be a home owner, you will have a federal tax lien placed on your home. You can agree to give your bank information so that they can easy “Automatically withdraw” your “penalties” weekly, bi-weekly or monthly! This by no means is “Free” or even “Affordable.”

      • DBrenchley

        can you give a link to the origial doc

        • autdrew4real

          I would like that too. I read that this morning & was surprised but suspicious
          Thank you benchly. It won’t let me answer you while you are “awaiting moderation”

          • DBrenchley

            Spent a great amount of research ..
            post was made on healthcare.gov FB page by Will Sheehan
            post has been removed ..
            I confirmed post by contacting adjacent posters ..
            Will Sheehan is no where to be found .. a party who spoke to him verbally states .. he’s been receiving threats .. but that he stands by his story ..
            I can NOT confirm the “email” portion as of yet

  • grais

    They know the sign-up numbers. And if they were large, they’d be telling us.

    • Thomas Dobbins

      Probably about the same number that showed up at the “several dozen muslim march”…

  • Steve__Jacobson

    What happens if somebody registers looks at the plans available and then opts out?

    • Joe W.

      The IRS audits them.

    • Vennoye

      A post from the Obamacare Website:

      “I actually made it through this morning at 8:00 A.M. I have a preexisting condition (Type 1 Diabetes) and my income base was 45K-55K annually I chose tier 2 “Silver Plan” and my monthly premiums came out to $597.00 with $13,988 yearly deductible!!! There is NO POSSIBLE way that I can afford this so I “opt-out” and chose to continue along with no insurance. I re…ceived an email tonight at 5:00 P.M. informing me that my fine would be $4,037 and could be attached to my yearly income tax return. Then you make it to the “REPERCUSSIONS PORTION” for “non-payment” of yearly fine. First, your drivers license will be suspended until paid, and if you go 24 consecutive months with “Non-Payment” and you happen to be a home owner, you will have a federal tax lien placed on your home. You can agree to give your bank information so that they can easy “Automatically withdraw” your “penalties” weekly, bi-weekly or monthly! This by no means is “Free” or even “Affordable.”

  • MNWoman

    I wonder if they thought many or most of Obama supporters would have been looking at Obamacare exchanges or started enrolling. I, however, doubt many of Obama supporters even know what Obamacare is.

    • pajamakat

      His supporters have no clue. They think somebody is going to show up at their front door, hand them a card and tell them that all the healthcare they could possibly ever want (not need) is now FREEEEEE !!!!

      • Karin_A

        You and MNWoman are exactly right.

  • o0Nighthawk0o

    That 4.7M was just one person pushing refresh trying to get the damn thing to load.

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr5ruoIpy_k Matt Trey

    As a web developer who works in event management, I can check my database and find out how many people are enrolled in any event. There is no way that the White House couldn’t do the same.

    • QWYS (Hydralisk of the Swarm)

      Need … want … should … should not … can … won’t

      The Hindmost has problems with these concepts, and won’t bother to read RFC 2119.

  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    4.7 million people with home pcs and internet access. And they are ‘poor’?

    Poor is drinking rainwater in your grass hut. Poor is foraging for berries and fish because socialist warlords stole all your food.

  • Karin_A

    Those who got through found out the prices, deductibles, and co-pays. Not such a big mystery.

  • Magdalene51

    My husband is a web applications developer for an insurance carrier. Their sites are crash-tested beyond belief, for months, until they pass muster. He would be embarrassed to have put out a piece of trash like that. I guess their IT guys couldn’t make it in the private sector, eh?
    And the silliness of claiming they don’t know how many actually enrolled? You realize that, in the real world at least, those numbers are actually tracked by the site? SMDH

  • MurphTacular

    Dec. 15 is the deadline for enrollment to be signed up in time for Jan. 1. That’s when we’ll know enrollment numbers. Meanwhile, the numbers won’t really matter much. The number of young, healthy enrollees is the BIG number.

    • tops116 ✓Quipper

      And yet, why do I get the feeling that if the numbers were really good, Team Obama wouldn’t be sitting on them until then?

      Maybe by January 1st, the website will actually be functioning consistently… but I doubt it.

  • ashknothole

    For more WH propaganda tune in later today for John Harwood’s interview with His Highness.
    It will be like watching gay porn. Bring your towel. And no fluffer necessary. Right, Hardwood?

  • ashknothole

    For more WH propaganda tune in later today for John Harwood’s interview with His Highness.
    It will be like watching gay porn. Bring your towel. And no fluffer necessary. Right, Hardwood?

  • chetnapier

    my comment about being afraid that i was afraid of getting a trojan has been hanging for seven minutes now

  • chetnapier

    my comment about being afraid that i was afraid of getting a trojan has been hanging for seven minutes now

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    So, a bunch of people looked at the website? I knew they were going to redefine “success,” but I didn’t think it’d be that pathetic.

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    So, a bunch of people looked at the website? I knew they were going to redefine “success,” but I didn’t think it’d be that pathetic.

  • http://commentspammersmustdie.blogspot.com/ Kakarot

    Odds are they would have to access the same databases no one else has managed to access to get that number.

    So it is possible they don’t know how many people enrolled.

  • lainer51

    I am sure NSA can tell you who called, when they called, what they said, when took a bathroom break, when scratched their arse, when drank a beer, when swatted a fly, when walked the dog but, strangely, numbers that REALLY matter are just so darn hard!!!!

  • jetch

    those numbers sound correct. unique visitors to their website? sure even I visited it, and I hate obamacare. number of calls? uhhh did someone answer those calls? web chat requests? sure, anyone can request it, but did they get a response?
    i’m betting the majority of those calls and web chats were to say the website isn’t working…

  • DizzyMissL

    Meanwhile, interviews with health insurers, industry consultants, nonprofit groups and people trying to sign up for coverage suggested that the number was very low. Some companies that are offering plans on the federal site said Wednesday that no one had signed up with them.

    “Very, very few people that we’re aware of have enrolled in the federal exchange,” said one insurance industry official, who like many in the industry, spoke on the condition of anonymity out of concern for possibly offending the Obama administration. “We are talking single digits.”