Bada-zing! Nothing like a little hilarious mockery on a Sunday morning.

Participation ribbons for all! Still, there must be events. But, what kind of events? Givers on Twitter graciously offer up some ideas for #DemocratOlympicEvents.

Heh. After that, let the games begin!

Snicker. Place your bets on John Kerry!

Geography: So hard.

Bam-tastic.

Some events for the “headlocks full of women”:

https://twitter.com/leslieannbrown/status/369081174703865857

Eww. It’s funny (and shudder-inducing) because it’s true.

Double eww.

The competition will be fierce in that event.

Snort. But can anyone really win?

Beautiful.

And for the win:

Twitter wins the comedy gold!

Related:

Boom-tastic! Author Brad Thor slams ‘idiot’ Obama, #kneepadmedia over gay Olympic athletes flap

‘That was awkward’: Obama talks about gay Russian athletes at presser after nobody asks about them

  • http://yourdaddy.net/ NotaLemming

    Who ever gets out from under the bus first wins!

  • Keith

    Get High Jump

  • CR

    High insurance premiums jump… just how high can we make those premiums go?

  • waltermitty2012

    Wrestling with the truth.

  • peteee363

    we give each participant a shovel, and see who digs up the most votes at the cemetery!

  • waltermitty2012

    Stationary Spinning the news.

  • tjack

    Lezathalon
    Gayathalon
    Biathalon
    Transathalon

    • Richo

      That was unique. Allow me to hazard a guess what kind of porn sites your browser’s history is full of…….

  • jwmiller

    DemocratOlympicEvents-Reciting Rhetoric, Bowing&Scraping4Islam, Gun-running Marathon, & LieingThruTeethJavelon.

  • cscape

    100 meter sequester chase

  • cscape

    “phony” scandal dodge ball

    • cscape

      Duck, Dodge, Dip, Dive and LIE

  • JeffWRidge

    The Executive Privilege dash.
    The Mexican Gun-Run.
    The Fastest Finger of Blame.

    • trixiewoobeans

      Does Fastest Finger of Blame go along with the Passing the Buck-a-thon?

      • JeffWRidge

        Those two constitute a biathlon. They start out by passing the buck and then quickly point the finger of blame at someone else. It’s a wonder to behold when Obama does it; he’s so fast you can’t even see his hands move.

  • therealguyfaux

    Backflips, to avoid having to deal with cogent arguments, such as: “Voter ID as a preventative measure against election fraud.”

  • CobraJet428

    Islamic Decapithon
    Obama Acting Stupidly Marathon

    • stuckinIL4now

      Obama Acting Stupidly might qualify for Mega Marathon status.

  • F. De Moraes

    Teleprompter speed reading

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #OPick-PocketsTaxpayersRun/Walk
    .
    #BlameAmericaHurdlesToBottom
    .
    #WhitesFolksGreedLeavesAWorldInNeed (Race)-BHObama- in his own words: “Dreams From My Father” page 158 of 235 PDF Form.
    .
    #Just.Race.Barack.Obama
    .
    #RacialLogicGymnastics
    .
    #OsSpeedLying
    .
    #RaceToEndPhonyScandals

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #TacticalDeflections

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #RunOnTheBanks

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    Three FRBank Triathalons
    #QE1
    #QE2
    #QE3

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #DodgeLaws

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #DodgeTheConstitution

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #CreativeVacations

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #BestUseOfAMarine

  • rambler

    Oh, just give them a participation trophy and send them home. Anything beyond that makes them have to work to hard.

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #DignityShredding

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #SituationRoomPartyPlanning

  • Marvin Nelson

    Synchronized Prancercising.

  • Steve_J

    #DemocratOlympicEvents Ally Dumping. First round: Egypt. Second round: Israel.

  • URGR82

    Quickest to pick a bill before reading it.

  • stuckinIL4now

    The Whopper-Topper–who can tell the biggest and most lies with a straight face.
    Running Off at the Mouth–an event qualified for by RINO notables such as John McShame and Lindsey Graham-cracker.
    The libturd favorite–Jumping to Conclusions, with extra style points awarded if cries of “racism” are included.
    And of course stay up for the Senate and House midnight marathons to see what ridiculous, confounding and unConstitutional legislation crosses their finish lines.

  • URGR82

    Phoney scandal pop-up target shooting. …..bodyguards are the only ones allowed guns.

  • LinTaylor

    Synchronized Spades (while other competitors get beaten up by security)

  • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

    ObamaCare Rulebook Pole Vault

  • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

    Subsidized No-Consequence Floor Exercise (Free Style)

  • Roto

    #UpsidedownDebtToRevenueSpending (Barack Obama wins gold medal)
    #SuburbanShotgunShooting (Jill Biden wins gold medal, Joe Biden trainer)
    #UnprotectedEmbassyAttacking (Hillary Clinton wins gold medal)
    #FederalLawUnenforcement (Eric Holder wins gold)
    #MediaSoftballCatch (Jay Carney gold)
    #TeamVoterFraud (ACORN wins the silver bars)

  • TocksNedlog

    — Football spiking
    — Tea Party audit marathon
    — Chuck Schumer’s 100m dash to the nearest camera
    — Basketball shoot-around (Gold medal if you go 3 for 22)
    — Elliott Spitzer’s ho vault

  • bidentime

    The Joe Biden gold medal this is a bfd award.

  • therealguyfaux

    #DemOlyEvents How could I ever have overlooked THIS one– “Boxing The Bishop”? It seems like that’s all the White House ever does, when the subject turns to investigating and cleaning up scandal after scandal…

  • arttie

    Obama phone speed texting

  • Sharkteeth

    #DemocratOlympicEvents
    Speed talking points….EBT liars poker….scammer throw….

  • Sharkteeth

    #DemocratOlympicEvents Greco
    Pillow fighting

  • Bombus

    Democrat High Jump: Lower the bar until everyone clears it.

    • cylde

      High speed abortion contest.

    • cylde

      Stupidest straw man argument.

    • mapache

      and everyone gets a medal regardless of achievement…sort of like the peace prize.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      And the Long Jump to Conclusions.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      And the Long Jump to Conclusions.

  • Bombus

    Creepy ass cracka beat down.

  • Tre

    I know what events WON’T be performed.
    No shooting events. (Guns are EEEEVIL!)

    No archery events. (Bows can hurt people, too!)

    No boxing. (Unless it’s liberals beating up an effigy of President Bush.)

    No wrestling. (Ditto)

    No tae kwon do. (Double Ditto)

    No judo. (Triple Ditto)

    No fencing. (Unless it’s liberals stabbing an effigy of President Bush.)

    Finally, the prizes will be awarded. First place will be getting to kiss Obummers butt 3 times, second place will get to kiss his butt 2 times, and third place will get to kiss his butt 1 time. After all, liberals are just SOOOOO respecting of the President, ya know!

    • mapache

      Thank the Lord, curling has been spared your draconian cuts!

  • mapache

    All medals will go to the country from where the olympians are from. They could not have gotten to where they were themselves.

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #UDidn’tBuildThatOlymipicStadiumMarathonRun

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    #MedalForNothing-WhatDifferenceDoesItMake?Run.

  • arttie

    Non-synchronized escape from a sunken car.

  • j p

    The Reverse Relay where they hand off blame back down the chain of command.
    Cracka Rodeo where the rich and the lazy ride the backs of middle class workers until their backs break.
    Pummel Horse, where they beat a dead horse to a pulp in order to draw attention away from the real event.
    Biathlon, Transathlon, etc. a race to get marital recognition and benefits for otherly oriented couples, triples, etc.
    Uneven parallel bars, Where the politicians drink 18yo single malt scotch in their bar while the average American can only afford a Bud Draft in his, but the politicians use slippery speech to say it is all parallel.

  • j p

    This year all gold medals will be confiscated to check for terrorist booby traps. The cost of the operation will mean that only 33% of each medal can be returned to the winner.

  • j p

    The Toot and Scoot: Any athlete reporting on foul play of a competitor (whistle blowing) will be whisked away to a secret holding cell and held indefinitely.

  • j p

    The TSA Obstacle Course: A two hour ordeal of line waiting, pat downs, body scans, stripping, body cavity searches, baggage ransacking and repacking, 21 questions, and if you get that far the re-dressing and dash to the gate.

  • j p

    The Gun Run: Haul various loads of shoulder fired missiles, hand guns, assault rifles, grenade launchers, etc. across international borders under the cover of darkness. Extra points for quick relays regardless of whose hands they end up in.

  • j p

    The IRS Delay Race: Choose sides and see how much you can influence the big race by delaying, harassing, intimidating and fee levying as many groups from the opponent’s team as possible.

  • j p

    NSA Bean Count Guess: Try to guess how many personal items of data the NSA has obtained, how many they will obtain in a day, how many they will use illegally or sell for use to the highest bidder, how many of your own have been captured, how many times must they be asked before telling the truth about the operation.

  • disqus_eric

    Abortion Archery
    Blame Bush Badminton
    Crazy Ass Cracker Curling
    Deficit Diving
    Egyptian Equestrian Jumping
    Freeload Fencing
    Gay Golf
    Harry Reid Handball
    Illegal Alien Ice Hockey
    Judicial Activism Judo
    KKKarate
    Living Wage Log Rolling
    Marriage Motorsports
    NAACP Netball
    Occupy Water Polo
    Pelosi Pentathlon
    Racist Relay
    Strawman Shooting
    Tug of Culture War
    War on Women Wrestling
    Vague Fact Volleyball
    You Didn’t Build That Yachting

  • Jeff H

    How ’bout the 100 meter corpse carry? The finish line is inside a voting booth.

  • The Jackal

    Speed-Lying
    Synchronized-Lying
    100 Meter Lie
    400 Lie Hurdles