Oh, the shame. CNN’s Tom Foreman has written a letter to President Obama every day. Every. Day. No word yet if there has been a pillow fight between him and simpering Suzanne Malveaux, who was ready to throw her panties on stage at last year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
That’s right. CNN even highlighted the creeptastic letters as something good. Foremen sadly took pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, for the last time. Unrequited love, oh how it hurts! His first letter:
Dear Mr. President,
Congratulations! Watching you on that podium today, surrounded by so many hundreds of thousands of Americans, I could not help but feel inspired by the miracle of democracy and the greatness of our nation. I also have a question: Do you have any idea what you’ve gotten yourself into?
I know you are busy today, but call when you can.
Call me! Maybe! It gets creepier from there. He echoes the “call me” suggestion over and over. And as his letter writing obsession winds down to his alleged self-imposed cease time, you can just feel the tears. Reading his letters is totally like reading the tear-stained diary of a teenage Emo chick. Set your iPod to “Everybody Hurts,” break out the cloves for atmosphere and start reading. It will be to your benefit: Giggling is cardio!
Twitter has been buzzing over the creeptastic Foreman for days. Mockery really is the best medicine.
A Twitter account responds. It is unverified; is it the real mooning Tom Foreman?
Please be a parody account. Otherwise, that’s just sad.
Hilarity ensues, as Twitter continues to buzz with the unbelievably creepy news.
At least he didn’t stand outside the White House with a boombox playing “In Your Eyes.”
He completes him!
Don’t give him any ideas. Is another letter writing campaign on the horizon? The alleged Tom Foreman Twitter account swooned over Julie Mason a few months ago.
This Twitter user points out that Foreman isn’t really alone.
And this one puts it all in a hilarious nutshell.
Zing! It’s funny, because it’s true.
Four years in the life of a
simpering teen journalist. Thanks for the giggles, at least, Mr. Foreman!