Did Michelle Obama celebrate her birthday with a new Twitter account and by getting bangs?

Oh, yes, she did. The most pressing issue of our time? The breathless reports roll in.

Huffington Post:

ABC “News”:

BuzzFeed:

An executive producer of CNN’s “The Situation Room” gets in on the breathless action.

Twitter is all a-flutter.

https://twitter.com/andylassner/status/292016681956560897

Where were you on the day Michelle Obama got bangs? Never. Forget.

  • singingangelnmt

    UUUUGGGGHHHHH! (that’s funny…where were you?)

  • http://freedomoutpost.com/2013/04/dhs-are-you-willing-to-die-for-your-king-i-am-willing-to-die-for-mine/ mountaindaisy

    It’s Anna Wintour with a wig.

    • twinx

      … and a serious tan.

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        And collagen injections.

  • joethefatman

    So the @FLOTUS gets bangs while
    @BarackObama wants to take my bang-bang (gun for the neophytes). I knew there was redistribution involved somewhere, somehow.

  • Lady 12

    The only place where this is actual news is in Hollywood. If she wanted to be ogled for her haircut, she should have gone into modeling. That’s all she does anyway.

  • JM_in_WASH

    Don’t worry about the bangs, why does Michelle insist on wearing drapery material for a dress?

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      Sometimes, she wears tablecloths.

  • http://sallysspecialservices.com/ Sally Frederick Tudor

    SHE IS AN UGLY COMMUNIST PIG, AND THAT MUST BE A WIG!

    • rinodino

      Wow, take a look at your own pic, goat

      • KansasGirl

        Goodness, such a hateful comment.

        • rinodino

          You’re right, how dare they call the first lady a pig

          • KBS2011

            Absolutely! An insult to pigs everywhere.

          • http://sallysspecialservices.com/ Sally Frederick Tudor

            It is called honesty! A communist pig, is a pig, is a pig! Don’t like my opinion, then don’t read my posts.

      • Joe W.

        Let’s see YOUR pic, Shitforbrains…..

      • lainer51

        yours is good too, although not surprising there is no head/brain..

        • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

          Very apropo.

      • http://sallysspecialservices.com/ Sally Frederick Tudor

        @dave travis Afraid to show your face huh? You must be Ugly too!

    • Elena0412

      You are mistaken (not about the communist part). The right treatments (relaxers, texturizers, keratin, flat irons, etc.) can change the race of your hair until it grows out. But to make it that silky must have set the taxpayers back tens of thousands of dollars. I remember the Reagan years and the leftstream media’s constant criticism of the designer clothes and china for the White House DONATED to Nancy Reagan. And they vacationed in their own private ranch.

    • Patsplacepp

      @sallyfredericktudor:disqus you need to look in the mirror. That pig you calm that has a wig might actually be you…just saying :)

      • Elena0412

        How does one calm a pig? a massage? herbal tea?

        • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

          That’s why they have ‘greased pigs’. For the massage.

      • http://sallysspecialservices.com/ Sally Frederick Tudor

        @Patsplacepp What are you afraid of? You must really be Ugly, because you are afraid to even show your face. I know I am beautiful, thank God your opinion of me means nothing.

      • lana ward

        M. omuslim looks like an orangatang shih tzu

    • lana ward

      She looks like an orangatang shih tzu

  • KansasGirl

    Wig.

    • catb55

      Yup .. I am for anything that helps cover her face … can we get a wig for her hubby too. Better yet .. let them wear the burka’s they have planned for the rest of us.

  • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

    “All this for bangs?” If unfamiliar, bangs said and I quote, “All this for a flag?”

    • KansasGirl

      Good memory, sir.

    • http://freedomoutpost.com/2013/04/dhs-are-you-willing-to-die-for-your-king-i-am-willing-to-die-for-mine/ mountaindaisy

      Best comment!

    • lana ward

      She called our flag –all this for a damn flag

  • Catchance

    The biggest bang(s) for the buck.

  • Jack Deth

    Big Whoop.

    Someone finally figured out a way to disguise Michelle’s forehead.

    Now. What’s up with her “Man Hands”?

  • RightThinking1

    “Bangs”, probably some subliminal thing in the gun-control controversy brought it on.

  • NCRelite

    Moochelle and Bo are twinsies now

  • madian_kikyou

    Three letters U-G-L-Y

    • lainer51

      all 57 strands!

  • Sam

    Wonder how much that haircut cost us. Looked better before.

  • usa3

    BFD! People are struggling in this country and we are worried about mrs o’s hairdo! seriously! who cares!

    • lainer51

      not to mention the 6000 babies aborted today.

    • Patsplacepp

      @facebook-1447278325:disqus @facebook-1026345394:disqus you two do realize that the only people that seem to care about this are the peeps sending negative comments on this string. Go walk outside, grab some fresh air and do something a bit more productive. Carry on

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        Thank you SO much for your example of positive, yet constructive criticism. Now maybe YOU should go run along and play.

  • Garth Haycock

    You can put bangs on a Wookie, but it’s still a Wookie.

  • HindaRifka

    I’m so proud that not one person in my Twitter feed raved on about Moochie’s bangs. Had I not read it on Twitchy, I would still be blissfully ignorant. Ahhh, minutes stolen from my life…..

  • Elena0412

    I’d like to see her go natural…

    • Patsplacepp

      @Elena0411:disqus I think this whole string is beyond funny. So much hate for a woman none of you have ever met. Not sure if it’s jealousy or just pure hate. She’s the first lady, she happens to look beautiful. Get over it. It will be very interesting to see what the lot of you say with the next First Lady…what happens if she’s White, what happens if she’s Republican. @elena0411 you complain about how the leftstream media took down Nancy Reagan, is this tit for tat? And if so you’re just sad…Just my two cents. To everyone else enjoying knocking down what you can not be

      • Elena0412

        You got all that from “I’d like to see her go natural…”?

        • Patsplacepp

          @Elena0411:disqus no it was from your other post higher up, but the reply post button wouldn’t work until I found the “I’d like to..” comment

          • Elena0412

            The reply icon is in the exact same place for every comment. Reply there and we can then take off our “intellectual gloves,” so to speak.

          • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

            Pat needs to keep their intellectual gloves on… all the help they can get, you know.

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        At the current rate of inflation, your 2 cents isn’t worth squat. Sorry.

  • janedoh1

    Please. She ‘bought’ bangs. You see, that’s a wig she’s got on.

  • syvyn11

    I don’t understand the fascination with this woman.

    She doesn’t have any of the class of Nancy Reagan or the humanity of Barbara Bush,

    Michelle is a mean spirited, catty, backstabbing harpy who demands people bow to her royal highness.

    • Patsplacepp

      @syvyn11:disqus So you’ve met the First Lady then? I mean Class of Nancy Reagan, humanity of Barbara Bush? Do you actually know any of these people, or do you get all of your information out of People and Star magazine?

      • syvyn11

        Please shut up. I come to my conclusions through observation. And I see Mrs. Obama as a mean spirited person.

        Get over it. She’s not that hot.

      • Constance

        You can look at her and tell exactly what kind of woman she is.

  • detroit19

    Hey, stop the presses!!!!! I shaved my legs today…yawn.

    • lainer51

      takes my breath away!

  • Junie3

    It looks better than that just got out of the bed, pulled back, stupid looking bun she wears so much. Ugh

  • Donna

    I really have pj’s that look like that outfit, I am not kidding.

  • BeeKaaay

    Watch the leftwingwackos drool.

  • KBS2011

    The collective mentality of the twitter sphere sinks to new low. The mooch is banged.

  • marcellucci

    Weave…..

    What’s next….a chemical peel?

  • Teresa Davis McCormick

    Luckily the people I follow on Twitter didn’t mention the cow’s hairstyle!

    • Patsplacepp

      @facebook-100000012561938:disqus wow taking a look at your facebook profile pic…the cow..might be you. Just saying :)

      • lainer51

        another comment from the headless/brainless gallery

      • Teresa Davis McCormick

        yes i’m overweight but i’m not a racist and i’m not telling your kids to starve at school. Oh and by the way, at least i’m brave enough to put my pic up, where’s yours?…..just saying.

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        Ah, another example of positive, yet constructive criticism. Oh, let me add this > *sarcasm* < for your clarification.

  • David Shrock

    Being the current specialist on banging, I believe good old William Hung is in on this somehow, yes she bangs. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x209ez_william-hung-she-bangs-american-ido_fun

  • edge_of_the_sandbox

    Did she get new cheekbones too? Sorry, had to go there.

  • lillymckim

    The state run media being the state run media.

  • DorothyGrissom

    At least the new bangs cover up those ridiculous painted on eyebrows, which didn’t show up until after she moved into the Whitehouse.

  • Kleverabevera

    I really do miss the natural look. The 70’s was a stone cold groove!

  • Constance

    She looks stupid, folks. First of all, why is she wearing a wig? Doesn’t she have hair? It’s clearly not her own hair. An older woman who puts on a wig with adolescent-style bangs, and this is supposed to be great? She looks stupid.

  • lana ward

    Now she looks like an orangatang shih tzu instead of just an orangatang!!

  • Belinda Henry

    She looks like Maxine Waters.