#4thOfJuly In Main St. On Nantucket. They have pie eating contests and a huge water-gun fight.

The caption on the Instagram photo says this:

#4thofJuly on Main Street On Nantucket. They have pie eating contests and a huge water-gun fight.

Pie eating contests? A huge water-gun fight?  That can’t be right. The Department of State assures us that Secretary Kerry has been hard at work since landing in Washington DC at 4 a.m. yesterday morning and certainly is not goofing off on Nantucket.

Related:

Cavalcade of conflicting info: Where in the world was John Kerry as Egypt lurched into chaos?

With little going on in the world, CBS News producer says Secretary of State John Kerry enjoys quiet time on his yacht; Update: Dept. of State denies

  • CatHerder

    Is he keeping all his cash in a bucket?

    • Clete Torres

      Docked south of Pawtucket.

      • Joe W.

        Heh..heh…heh….Happy 4th, Clete!!

        • Clete Torres

          You too, Joe! Stay safe.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    Someone in the Obama gang is lying about John F. Ketchup’s whereabouts yesterday.

    Besides, the first Wednesday of the month is allowance day, so Lurch had to be with Te-re-za to pick it up in person.

    • tops116

      Sounds like Kerry can relate to Morsi. He wants to leave, but someone he finds more intimidating is keeping him in his place.

  • Danny Wheeler

    Now Kerry’s the “man from Nantucket” in the poem.

  • Clete Torres

    I have to laugh when I think of the transparency thing, as it relates to this band of miscreants:
    They’re so transparent, you can see through them.

    • tops116

      “The Transparent Man” by H.G. Wells

  • Jack Deth

    *Ahem*

    The rich, white SecState chills in Nantucket.
    When confronted with Egypt, he say “F*ck it!
    I’ve embarrassing wounds to mend and soirees to attend.
    And if Morsi’s not in charge. They can Suck it!”

    • CatHerder

      May I?

      The socialite chills in Nantucket
      When he heard of the coup he said “F*ck it!
      I’ve fences to mend,
      Soirees to attend,
      And now Morsi’s toast, so just suck it!”

      Scansion.

      • Jack Deth

        Certainly, Catherder.

        Much better!

        More succinct.

        • trixiewoobeans

          Not as good as the above, but here goes:

          There once was a toadie named Kerry,
          Whose face was a little bit scary,
          Became Secretary of State,
          Left Egypt to its fate
          While yachting with Mo, Curly and Larry.

          • CatHerder

            You’re doing it right hon! Remember, to get to Carnegie Hall you practice, practice, practice. :-)

      • Catchance

        AWESOME!!!!

  • Catchance

    Personally, I’m appalled that they’re having water gun fights. Don’t they realize that that’s teaching children to use… gasp… guns? Assault Water Guns! Barbaric.

    • scubaski00

      They probably only hold a cup of water, unlike the bazooka style that can hold a quart or the continuous spray ones that can do even more damage if put in the hands of child!! LOL

    • scubaski00

      They probably only hold a cup of water, unlike the bazooka style that can hold a quart or the continuous spray ones that can do even more damage if put in the hands of child!! LOL

  • neoface

    That’s why Kerry has white guilt!!!! Oh that’s right, he is married into money.

  • tops116

    Well, he was there, but then somehow showed up with a sparkler. Kerry started ranting “fire bad!” and demolished a windmill.

  • Trace

    John Kerry enjoying holiday on his yacht “The Unflushable”.

  • jetch

    if a picture of me trying to catch a football with my eyes closed – and missing badly – existed, I would kill myself.

  • LegalizeShemp

    There once was a man in a swiftboat
    Who wed a pickle maker’s old goat
    Instead of a job
    He plays with his knob
    And spends leisure time on his $$$ Boat.

  • LinTaylor

    And now I’ve seen a picture of John Kerry doing jazz hands. Thanks Twitchy, with you every day’s a new experience. :)

  • Guest

    From the limericks posted so far, I would have guessed Kerry was from Jickhead, AZ, Intercouse, PA or Basshole TX !

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Tereza says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Susan Rice says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Eric says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Obama says oh yes he was with me.

  • OLLPOH ~ America

    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Tereza says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Susan Rice says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Eric says he wasn’t with me…
    Tell us lies, tell us sweet little lies…this can’t be…Obama says oh yes he was with me.

  • American_by_Choice

    The best part about Kerry being on Nantucket, is that he’s not anywhere else on the planet, meeting with the enemy, adhering to their plans to undermine the interests of the United States and bringing those plans back here to sell to our children.

  • disqus_lJapfzCIUh

    How dare he? This creepy white Old very Rich guy is using guns? Doesn’t he know that the Obamas….Bloomberg…the RatParty…the schools have forbidden the use of/and or a little description of one is punishable by suspension for days all because of…water guns…plastic guns…guns made out of bread…pop tarts looking like guns…very small doll guns…miniature plastic guns….gun picture on a shirt…going to jail for saying “i’m using g…” with a bond of $500,000 for a teenager kept in jail since Feb…being beaten by inmates…harassed by guards….because he has no money to post bail…and our great Secretary of State is playing with the big “g” while Egypt burns…How sweet is the life of the rich and famous…”Yes I can”…”Yes we can” said the Obamas and sidekick Valerie…Take pictures of this event and send copies to every school in the country and protect our children…the ?? adults have gone nuts…

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    He’s not mistaken.
    And please stop calling him Shirley.