The New York Post scores again … with a little help from the Pillsbury Doughboy.

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/398795429443555328/

We don’t need Weiner headlines to giggle along with the Post. Perfect: “You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead, doughy hands!”

https://twitter.com/AmGovDotCom/status/398799514955292672

Related:

‘Going to eat whatever the f*ck I want’: Hey, FDA, you can pry the trans fats from our ‘clogged, dead arteries’

  • DWAAP

    All I see is kingobama’s face trying to look sorry…………..though the entire page is showing how the government is trying to control every aspect of our lives!

  • Redneck Jedi

    Can the Republican party hire these headline writers? They’re fantastic.

  • marion vega

    that American Dad episode is coming true.way to expand the contraband dealers inventory

  • http://www.jabootu.com/acolytes/bnotes/ Apostic

    Coming soon: Pillsbury Doughboy Trapped in Refigerator; Eats Own Foot

    • therantinggeek

      Film at 11.

      • Jack Deth

        “Fat is flavor. Acid is life!”

  • Jack Deth

    I’m going to buy myself a 64oz. Super Big Gulp sized cup of trans fats. And add some to my stews, chilis, spaghetti sauces, french fries, ground beef and pork, roasts and anything else that needs a bit more flavor.

    Because fat is where the flavor is!

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      I’ll even give you my “Freaux-Fried” Rice Recepies…. Chicken or Lamb… Jawamax 8<{D}

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Just to avoid any misconceptions, what the word “fatwa” actually means is an advisory from a Muslim cleric, as in a “Don’t do X– or else!” sort of way.

    Which, by the FDA issuing this edict about transfats, sure sounds like “Don’t use foods with transfats– if you wanna stay healthy…”

    • GaryTheBrave

      The headline has the word as “fat-wah” as in fat+wahmbulance. Sure, Its a play on the Muslim word but that’s where the similarities end.

      • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        (*Guy Faux gestures, with a “salute” over his head*)(*”WHOOSH!”*)

      • nc ✓s & balances

        GENius!

  • Agent Carmichael

    Thank you wonderful government! I really don’t know how I have lived this long without you!

  • Agent Carmichael

    I love it how a completely unelected panel of power hungry geeks can tell me how to live my life.
    I am making a butter sandwich right now to protest.

    • therantinggeek

      Hey now. Don’t use the term “geek” loosely. 😛

      • Stephen L. Hall #NonquamTrump

        No geek in their right mind would ban trans-fats . . . it’s practically one of their four basic food groups. (Caffeine, Sucrose, Cholesterol & Alcohol)

        • therantinggeek

          ^ this. A thousand times this.

      • 0bamasnought

        As an ‘Elder Statesman’ of geek culture, I am deeply offended by all of you.
        May all your bases belong to us.

        • therantinggeek

          #InstantWin

  • TocksNedlog

    Keep the trans-fats, lose the Obamacare. America will be better off in the long run.

  • Stephen L. Hall #NonquamTrump

    Let’s see: Vegetables are supposed to be good for you; Vegetable oil is made from vegetables; Trans-fats are hydrogenated vegetable oils; Ergo, it’s the hydrogen to blame; Ban hydrogen in all it’s forms!

    Why not? They have declared Carbon Dioxide to be a pollutant, so why not ban the most common source of that evil hydrogen, Dihydrogen Oxide?

    • AMERICAN Kafir™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈwhitey

      I forget which one, but partially hydrogenated or hydrolized oils are one molecule away from plastic.

      • Chris Cherry

        And lead is one electron away from gold, what’s your point?

  • Stephen L. Hall #NonquamTrump

    Father deemed unfit for denying his son McDonald’s with trans-fats. Feds seek to deny children trans-fats. Ergo: Feds are deemed unfit.

  • http://www.coreyspofford.com/ YEROCDROFFOPS

    Yes, I LOVE trans-fats especially trans-fat derived from GMO veggies, it’s the healthiest & I love to wash it down my suck throat with a nice large glass of Fluorinated water.

    Although I do feel these items should not be in the marketplace I firmly feel that the private sector and economic demand should dictate what survives and dies NOT more regulation from an overbearing central government.

    • TexSizzle

      Fluoridated with industrial waste from manufacture of pesticides. The Pesticide manufacturers convincing cities to buy the waste they would otherwise have to pay to dispose of was sheer marketing genius.

  • miguel

    I’m gonna put the fried chicken aside…for now, and drink the grease it was fried in. DAMMIT I’ll show you WHO’s boss o’ me …what would we do without the Governments guidance?

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      To Celebrate this new “Initiative,” I’m making batches of my famous Home-Made French Fries! Jawamax 8<{D}

      • Stephen L. Hall #NonquamTrump

        I was thinking fried cheese sticks.

        • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

          Good idea, but I’d have to get a “Chunk”, the shredded Mozzarella doesn’t hold together very well… XD Jawamax 8<{D}

  • miguel

    FAT…it’s where it’s at…and gives you “all THAT”…yea baby yea !!!

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      I’d rather be “Husky” and a little cold, than skinny and freezing my @$$ OFF! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • miguel

    This is gonna work out…Just like when assistance turned into entitlements…you’ll be o.k. besides we know what’s best for ya (wink and a nod)

  • alanstorm

    From the NYT article:

    “Those actions led to a stunning reduction in consumption: Americans ate about one gram a day last year, down from 4.6 grams in 2006. A report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that blood levels of trans fatty acids among white adults in the United States declined by 58 percent from 2000 to 2009.”

    IOW, the problem, if there is one, is solving itself. So we need yet another law…why, exactly?

    I’ve seen too many diet fads to buy the trans-fat scare at face value. Are eggs good for you or bad for you this week? How about carbs – eat/don’t eat? The high priests change their minds too frequently to pass laws on the subject.

  • Jack Deth

    Memo to FDA:

    Do you have any idea how many Americans still cook with grease, bacon fat, lard and butter?!!!

    Thought not.

    Yeah. Good luck with enforcing your ludicrous ideas.

    • AMERICAN Kafir™✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈwhitey

      I know I’ll get down-voted for this… but what the hell.

      I don’t use pork – for anything. I use butter or olive oil.

      • nc ✓s & balances

        Why should anyone down vote you? Enjoy!

      • Dana King

        There’s a HUGE difference between you making the conscious choice to cook or eat a certain way and the government mandating it. The former is liberty and the latter is statism. BTW, I also use butter and/or olive oil to cook with. :-) Good stuff!

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    So now, the FDA is pulling a HERR BLOOMBERG (SEIG HEIL!!), trying to regulate what WE Eat?!?
    BEST RESPONSE:In the immortal words of Drew Carey, “SAFETY NAZIS, F!@#$%&*+?!CK OFF!!” Jawamax 8<{D}

  • nc ✓s & balances

    The really stupid thing is, I usually try to eat healthy, just because I feel better when I do. But I’ll be [email protected] if I’m going to let some bureaucrat dictate to me how or what I eat.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    You all know what this is about, don’t you? Since Obamacare is going to be paying for so many people, the “state” has a financial interest in “keeping everyone healthy.” They will use this as an excuse to “keep health care costs down.”

    • crookedwren

      The Rads in power now remind me of my alcoholic ex. Controlled EVERYTHING in MY life, zero control in his. Fascist? Narcissist? Power Addiction? All of the Above!

      • nc ✓s & balances

        You too? Amazing how much in common those guys have.

        • crookedwren

          Yes. Indeed. An intriguing correlation in behavior and attitude! The mind of the Ruling Elitist and the addict are not so far apart. Neither of them believe they are fallible or just plain WRONG about much of anything. Neither of them LISTEN to someone speaking sense.

          • nc ✓s & balances

            I have described my ex as the center of his universe, and there are no other universes.

          • crookedwren

            I hear you!!! Glad I’m married now to a fellow ex-member of Al-Anon! LOL

          • nc ✓s & balances

            You made my day! Best wishes to you and yours!

          • crookedwren

            And to you! Many Blessings. Free At Last!

    • Patriot077

      Yup. Once they made it their business to force everyone to have nationalized medical insurance, they figure they can say everything we eat or do is also their business.

  • AmericanLass

    For thousands of years people ate whatever the wanted. But now the “Me Generation” has arrived, they are smarter than everyone who ever lived. So under the guise of health, they want to control us. Underground Bakeries will spring up all across US.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      psst…want a cruller?

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Two loaves of that New York Italian Bread, please… Jawamax 8<{D}

    • US vs. Them

      And for thousands of years, average life expectancy was less than 50 years. Since 1913, it has increased from 55 to 79.3 for American women. Why do you think that is?

      • AmericanLass

        Better medical through private sector, vacines etc. Don’t know if you have noticed but we don’t have black plague. Also increased technology making life much easier.

        • nc ✓s & balances

          Doh!

          (Or maybe in honor of this thread I should say “Dough!”)

        • NachoCheese (D)

          That’s gonna leave a mark. :)

        • Fhalkyn Phoenix

          I’ll be fetching some ice for his burn…

      • mike_in_kosovo

        Not the FDA

  • rennyangel2

    NY Post is a great “rag.” One of the few growing newspapers in the nation and has the best headline writers. You should subscribe.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      Had anyone made a collection of their headlines? Just fabulous!

  • ObamaFail

    Libs want the government to control every aspect of their lives because none of them are mature enough to manage their own lives without help from Big Brother. Problem is the rest of us are being dragged into it against our will. Why is it libs are all about choice when it comes to killing their unborn baby, but let you want choice for anything else and suddenly they get up and arms whining about “anti-government traitors?”

    • World B. Free

      Because “choice” is not really what they want.

      CONTROL is what they want.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    ICYMI, here’s an oldie but goodie:

    It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

    Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

    He was 71.

    Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

    Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
    Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

    The grave site was piled high with flours.

    Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

    Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

    Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

    Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven.

    He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.

    The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

    • Fhalkyn Phoenix

      Well done, sir (or ma’am)! Well done indeed!

      • nc ✓s & balances

        FTR, I’m a ma’am. But I can’t take credit for this brilliant little piece. It’s been floating around the internet for several years, and I would have credited the author if I had known who it is. But it is wonderful, isn’t it?

        • Fhalkyn Phoenix

          It is! And thanks for the heads-up!

    • ObamaFail

      Doughboy could have been saved, but he unfortunately had Obamacare.

  • mike_in_kosovo

    Should’ve been a pic of M. Moore

  • Brad Donald

    So they are going to ban trans fat cause 20000 people have bad cholesterol, and 7000 die from cholesterol related heart attacks a year. While 7 million die from CANCER each year. Many causes related to APPROVED FDA products. This is such a joke just on the numbers side of things. That they want to cripple the food production in the country and take massive control of it is what this is about.

    • cmazzJK

      1 in every 4 deaths is contributed to heart disease/heart failure… If your gonna make an arguement at least know what the hell your talking about…

      • Brad Donald

        Hey buddy, not all heart disease is related to Trans fat. Most in fact is not related to it at all.

        Those numbers came from the FDAs own spokesperson about how many are affected by it.

      • Paolo R Tomilloso

        I guess ur one those liberal authoritarian types huh the government loves me ppl huh how sa ur a sheep you believe ppl cant decide for themselves.

        • cmazzJK

          Your one of those people who only read half the question before you answer it aren’t you?

          I replied to the other guy who disagreed with me with a link to a Harvard study that was sanctioned by the CDC, why don’t you read it before you continue to embarrass yourself…

          FYI, I am not authoritarian nor a liberal, but I do approve of eliminating useless toxic substances from foods if it can be done. I would probably be ok with inhaling someone’s second hand cigarette smoke in public if tobacco companies stopped using pesticides.

          Also, since your such a staunch supporter of liberty and all. I find it intriguing you are ok with taxpayers funding the medical bill’s of obese people on government assistance eating themselves to death who make up a large number of hospital and emergency room visits for their lack of knowledge and self control stemmed from terrible eating habits that the are sure to pass on to th following generations of their family. SO, with all that said, would I be ok with the government not banning trans fats? Sure, I don’t eat the shit anyway but only when I don’t have to pay for the medical treatment for those too ignorant to understand what the word moderation means.

    • Paolo R Tomilloso

      I say abolish the fda & many other useless government intrusion to real choice of free market.

  • Paolo R Tomilloso

    This just another bullshit overreaching of the government a yr they arrested the omish for selling raw milk & it was bullshit sting & they shut down an organic co-op but you ppl want government intervention you got it.

  • Scorpion

    Wait until all the LIV’s find out that their BMI results from Obamacare’s intrusion will factor in on what types of food they will be able to purchase with their EBT cards in the future in order to keep them “healthy”. High cholesterol? only low fats for you, High blood pressure?Only low sodium food. Etc., etc..