Say what now?

Yes, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius testified today that the Obamacare website has “never crashed.”

How does she define “crash”? And did she consult with Bill Clinton before testifying?

The Obamaspeak keeps on comin’:

Related:

‘Can’t make this stuff up!’ Obamacare website down as Sebelius testifies about botched rollout [pics]

  • Garrett Gripling

    It never crashed, it’s just run on a dial-up server.

    • Karl Winrich

      Or maybe it’s running Windows ME

      • linnilu

        Windows 3.1?

        • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

          DOS.

          • WhoMeToo

            I think there’s hamsters in that box…

            O.o ==> http://www.oocities.org/seangels/pics/compham.gif

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            Ha ha. I can’t even begin to describe the oh so many one liners you just set me up for.

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            Ders a possum in the lookity box.

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            That’ll do :^b

          • WhoMeToo

            Let the Double Entendres begin…. ~_^

        • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

          I liked Windows 3.1. I never wanted to upgrade. Luckily for Microsoft, the fan died on my power supply and the motherboard fried. Thus I was forced into the late 20th century.

  • Marcy Cook

    It never crashed. How can it crash when it never started up in the first place?

    • pinupartist

      It’s been barrycaded…..

    • TheExecutiveProducer

      Straight from the Democrat playbook:

      It depends on what your definition of “crashed” is.

    • rssllue

      It actually more like IMPLODED than crashed if you ask me.

  • IBXNJ

    If it were moving any slower it would be in reverse!!

  • The Masked Avatar

    The Titanic never sank. It transitioned to a different sea level.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Head going to explode…have to stop head banging on desk.

  • Karl Winrich

    The Hindenburg didn’t crash and burn, it transcended to a higher plane of existence

    • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

      Transcended…

      • TheExecutiveProducer

        Oh, the humanity!!!

      • Guest

        Thanks
        tran·scend (trn-snd)
        v. tran·scend·ed, tran·scend·ing, tran·scends
        v.tr.
        1. To pass beyond the limits of:

      • Scorpion

        And transdescended.

    • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

      TRANSITION IS THE WORD LEARN UR VOCABULARY

      • Karl Winrich

        Sorry, but I do know my vocabulary, and here’s where you can look up the definition.
        Thanks for playing :)

        http://www.thefreedictionary.com/transcended

        • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

          Sarcasm yet again went undetected.

          I’ll spell it out then. Yesterday the WH said that the existing health insurance plans are not being cancelled, they are being “transitioned”. Hence my comment.

          Thanks for sharing the dictionary link though. I wrote “transcend” in cursive a 100 times in my grammar school ruled notebook so I remember it.

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            Making some new friends Blah?

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            One can never have too many penguins friends.

            <3

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            My black side is pissed over that comment. The white side just feels guilty.

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            I have a crush on you even though I’m much taller. Is this wrong?

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            Actually I’m a lot taller in person than on TV.

          • Scorpion

            Are you related to Bele or Lokai?

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            The ‘Riddler’ of course.

          • spaceycakes

            Tennessee Tuxedo

          • Karl Winrich

            Ah…I missed the WH “Transitioned” line yesterday because of work.

            But I was also using a sarcastic remark and my full intent was to use the word “Transcend” in regards to Sebelius’s outlandish remark that the “Web page never crashed…”

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            You’re doing sarcasm wrong.

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            nice apology too…fail.

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            Usually I apologize with a 38 so I thought this was a step in the right direction. :/

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            I was just being sarcastic.

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            Sorry I was transitioning from the kitchen to the living room and sorta wasn’t paying attention.

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            Are you sure you wasn’t transcending from room to room?

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            Am I sure if I were transc… wut? BRB must look it up.

          • spaceycakes

            it was transcendental transitioning

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            Ah…yes. got it.

          • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

            Like a fake sarcasm?

          • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

            “‘Cursive’, That’s racist, sir.”

          • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

            I use cursive when I want certain elements to not understand me

          • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

            And ‘retarded’ too…sir

        • Perplexed

          Has nothing to do with definitions, just liberal talking points. The word for this week is Transition.

  • pinupartist

    $5 says her testimony barely gets any coverage in the lamestream press & if it does, they just show some democrat congressman talking about how many Americans are finally getting “health care.”

  • Karl Winrich

    Sebelius: “The website has never crashed.”

    Really, how stupid does this lib think we are anyways?
    Of course all of the O-Bots just accepted it as gospel truth from one of his loyal disciples.

  • drw

    Doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that people of this level of competence and integrity are now effectively in charge of 1/6 of the U.S. economy?
    (Please note; the above comment was intended as a sarcastic remark and should in no circumstance be interpreted to represent the actual views of the author.)

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Time to go get the brain bleach and the monitor disinfectants, computer smells like urine…

  • Jack Deth

    This testimony reminds me of an old joke.

    A Lufthansa airliner loses one, then another engine over the Atlantic. The pilot bravely warns that Lufthansa has never lost a liner due to ditching at sea.

    A third engine flames out and the pilot again repeats the drivel. The fourth and last engine flames out. The pilots again gets on the speakers and advises:

    “All passengers who can swim. Move to the left side of the aircraft. Those who cannot….Thank you for flying Lufthansa!”

  • Stephen L. Hall #NonquamTrump

    Honestly, in order for something to “crash” doesn’t it actually have to move?

  • SpaceRacer423

    “The website never crashed”

    From the White House that brought you:

    “The Stimulus Plan is working.”

    “I didn’t let Detroit go bankrupt.”

    “We’re putting people back to work.”

    “These are shovel ready jobs.”

    “There is a red line and its chemical weapons.”

    “Fast and Furious started under the previous administration.”

    “If you like you plan you can keep it.”

    and who but the MSM could forget:
    “It started as a protest about an internet video.”

    act next November or you’ll also receive:
    “Your medical treatment isn’t being rationed, youre simply being transitioned into end of life consoling.”

  • capisce

    It downloaded a virus, caused by a Tea Party produced, anti-Obamacare YouTube video.

    • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      At this point, what difference does it make?

      • Perplexed

        Exactly!

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    “The website has never crashed.”

    Boy, I can’t wait to see liberals try to defend that one. Pass the popcorn, please.

  • Perplexed

    The Website never crashed, The Hindenburg is still traveling the friendly skies and the Titanic is on its 10,000th voyage across the Atlantic. Being a liberal must be so much fun. Just wake up every morning, collect your talking points for the day, then create a whole reality that will speak truth to your rhetoric.

  • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

    The Titanic just “scraped” against an iceberg…

    • Perplexed

      Haha beat ya by a millisecond =)

  • jwmiller

    ‘You can keep your Dr. if we like him; but, he’s gonna have to like us back.’ Scamo’Bama.

  • http://lordfoggybottom.com/ BlahBlah

    This is not even denial. This is Thorazine grade delusion.

    • Karl Winrich

      This is the penultimate empirical proof that liberalism truly is a mental disorder.

    • http://www.almarquardt.com/ almarquardt

      If not, it’s pure arrogance on her part to think that her lies are fooling everyone. Unfortunately, she may be more right than wrong about that.

      • The Penguin, Don’t talk shit

        Half right…er wrong…or left. whatever.

  • John Howard

    The website has never crashed. The web application running that website? Well you didn’t ask about THAT!

    • Perplexed

      Don’t be logical. It doesn’t work with them. If nothing but the page counter was functional, they would focus on that success and breeze over everything else. Just bumps in the road ya know!

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    “The website has not crashed. The website has never crashed.”

    $#!t unhappens.

    6079 Smith W, Memory Hole Engineer, Minitru, Oceania

  • Roto ✓Intentionally Left Blank

    Sebelius just lied to Congress. She said she never suggested they needed 5 years to build the website.

    “If we had an ideal situation and could have built a product in a five-year period of time, we could have taken five years,” Sebelius told CNN’s Sanjay Gupta on Tuesday night (10/22/2013).

    • therantinggeek

      Kitty Kat? Lying to Congress?

      …Nah. 😉 #sarcasm

  • TocksNedlog

    “The website has never crashed . . . it just stalls occasionally — like, every time it stops at an intersection.”

  • Scorpion

    The reincarnation of Joe Isuzu strikes again.

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Really, they do think they are able to shove the sh*t back up their 4ss…

    • spaceycakes

      don’t give them any more ideas for the Folsom Street Fair!!

      • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

        H3ll why not?

  • Dexter Alarius

    “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘Crashed’ is.”

    • objectivefactsmatter

      Exactly.

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    I watched Shepard Smith on FNC as he used one of his giant touch-screen ‘puters to log on to Obamacare, which was working for New York, but NOT for Mississippi… Do you have an answer for THAT, Sebilius?
    Now you know why I won’t go near this website-er, POSWATZH! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Stephanie Warren

    All aboard the Idiot Wagon.