Breaking: Should your boating excursion go awry, it’s much easier to find you if you don’t sink. Your government is looking out for you!

But it looks like plugged-in, hard-working Secretary of State John Kerry doesn’t want to be found during his Nantucket vacay. (You know, the vacation the State Department denied.)

john-kerry-kayak

No life jacket? Well, when it comes to “sink or swim,” Kayakin’ Kerry never was much for swimming.

Chaos in Egypt is hard. But laser-like focus on the Nantucket Sound? Easy peasy!

Related:

Twitter user: ‘Kerry sailed right by me yesterday on the Nantucket sound’ [photo]; Update: Boston Herald confirms Kerry is on Nantucket

Another tweeter, surely mistaken, hears that John Kerry is celebrating July 4 on Nantucket

Cavalcade of conflicting info: Where in the world was John Kerry as Egypt lurched into chaos?

  • Yeah I Said It

    But…but… My government wouldn’t lie! That must be his double!

    In other news, the 80’s called. They want that haircut back, Jonny boy.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    It looks like fun, Lurch, why the long face?

    • Canadian in USA

      It’s the first time he’s had to work to get himself anywhere.

    • Terry

      He just realized he missed a spot when shaving his legs.

  • https://twitter.com/Captain_Cy_kun Cy

    Not to beat that pulpy bundle of abused flesh that vaguely looks like a dead horse, but just imagine if a Republican in Kerry’s position did this.

    • FaithColeridge33

      Condi – Shoes they beat her to a pulp. We don’t have to imagine.

  • http://Twitter.com/jkerrysforehead John Kerry’s Forehead

    Looks like he has on one of those flotation belts under his shirt.

    Spare tire

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    Lord, one small wave . . .

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Fortunately, the Rivers/Estuaries of east central Florida, which we sailed back in the seventies, were shallow enough that we could swim a short distance thru the channel, and walk to the shore….And, we were all great swimmers! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • FaithColeridge33

    I just don’t get why they would lie. I mean, sure, I can’t stand him but even I’m not going to get irritated if the guy takes of some time over the Fourth. What the hell?

    • trixiewoobeans

      I suspect lying is just a reflex to them.

      • $27789750

        Does appear to be automatic…but the WH set the tone with the blatant Benghazi lies. What can you expect.

      • Katherine McChesney

        Same thing for blacks who blame all their crimes on slavery.

        • beebop1952

          Especially when considering which race was doing the rounding up of talent on the African continent …

    • tnrunningmom

      Y’all are kidding, right? When I’m on vacation, I have to put the fun on hold if there’s an emergency. And I’m not Secretary of State. And my emergencies don’t involve foreign governments imploding.

      • FaithColeridge33

        Of course he should have returned. I’m saying there was no need to lie that he was there in the first place. It’s just so ridiculous.

        • tnrunningmom

          You’re right. Ridiculous and insulting – like it’s easier to assume that we’re too stupid to figure out the truth instead of just telling the truth in the first place.

  • in_awe

    Wooden blocks float. Kerry is a blockhead. Connect the dots.

    • bluewaternavy

      they should call floatation chambers in boats “John Kerry’s”

  • http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/ keyboard jockey

    Kerry On Benghazi: “We Got A Lot More Important Things To Move On To”

    But apparently that more important thing wasn’t the stability of the Egyptian government.

    • ObamaFail

      Obama has more important things too. His golf scores aren’t good enough.

  • Dane Gunderson

    It’s his wife’s tax-free boat… so technically Kerry wasn’t on “his” yacht.

  • OpenTheDoor

    You do know shit floats, no jackoff required.

  • jukin

    The truth is that any situation is better if Kerry is not involved. Much better.

    • wilbur

      Kerry is not so dumb; he knows he is dead weight and would not float even with the help of a vest. Why bother?

  • FFC

    Who goes kayaking with that much baggage?? Oh, of course!! Obama’s cabinet members.

  • Right Wired

    Going diving with Ted today? Wear a lifejacket, you are easier to find if you float.

  • http://www.nleomf.org/officers/ FlatFoot

     
    Hey! John Kerry! Stop playing with your dinghy!

  • neoface

    Kerry is so much like Obama, when the going gets tough Obama goes on a world tour, Kerry goes to his yacht. Two peas in a same pod?

  • abe-froman

    Wow John …pretty “swift boat” wouldn’t you say?

    • dinkerduo

      :) :) :)

  • Katherine McChesney

    It appears that Lurch has a Milwaukee blister. There’s a bulge around his waist.

  • Axelgreaser

    From the shore: “Look Mommy, It’s Elvira Gulch from THE WIZARD OF OZ! She’s throwing candy to us kids. Is it alright to eat it?!” Mother: “No dear, those are #9846 1.oz Ketchup Paks dear, at $46.50/1000. Isn’t he wonderful!? Finally a Secretary Of State that doesn’t take a day off!” (Hollering) “Sir! We’ll take 2 cases. They look easy to swallow, will store well and will be nice to have on hand once beef is affordable again!”

  • Smeethow

    Looks like he was missing in action just like Hillary was during Benghazi.