Yahoo News identified “13 distinct strains” of dodge in an unfettered analysis of the White House press secretary’s spin and evasions. The grand total of dodges? 9,486.

Shorter Jay Carney:

Jay Carney doesn’t have an answer for that. He hasn’t discussed that subject with the president. He will refer you to the Department of [insert agency here]. He refuses to speculate on that. He’ll have to get back to you.

But he appreciates the question.

Most transparent administration evah!

Hardest hit? Buzzfeed:

“Laugh or cry”? We’re going with “laugh.”

Oh, come on. He’s just doing his job!

Serious You Guys.

Flashback: The white washing.

  • $472942

    Yup.

    “Paid Liar”, that’s fer doggone sure…

    • Clayton Grant

      Correction: Overpaid liar

      • BlahBlah

        I don’t have a response for this.

  • Rob

    How horrible does truth have to be to choose incompetence?
    If Hillary shot someone would she go with the story that she didn’t know that bullets were dangerous?
    Jay Carney wouldn’t have anything to say about an ongoing investigation but he really needs to go to the hospital to have a bullet removed.
    Obama would have to wait to hear on the news that he was in the room when it happened.

    • Fire and Adjust!

      Your first question sums up this president and his administration about as well as can be done. You Sir, are a master of pithy commentary……

    • Suzyqpie

      “How horrible does the truth have to be to choose incompetence?” Tks Rob. Exactly my musing during Fast & Furious. AG Holder had, de facto, gangsters in his dept who could abscond with money, millions, to operate a gun running gig to drug cartels and No. One. Noticed, the absent people or the absent money? By stating you didn’t know about the whole operation, left AG Holder’s choices, ignorance or incompetence. The truth was so incriminating that they chose, de facto, incompetence. The choice was incompetence, Stunning wow stunning.

  • Fire and Adjust!

    “I don’t have the answer….” 1905 times…………………. Incompetence
    “I would refer you to …… ” 1383 times……………………. Someone else’s fault
    “You already know the answer….” 1125 times………… Condescending
    “I’m not going to tell you…..” 939 times…………………… Insolence
    “Not that I know of….” 927 times……………………………. Incompetence
    “I don’t want to….” 588 times………………………………… Insolence
    “I’m not sure ….” 549 times…………………………………… Incompetence
    “I won’t speculate….” 525 times…………………………….. Uselessness
    “No comment….” 429 times………………………………….. Uselessness
    “Its a good question…” 381 times………………………….. Condescending
    “I’ll get back to you….” 387 times…………………………… Condescending
    “See yesterday’s nonresponse….” 231 times………….. Condescending
    “The President won’t tell me….” 117 times……………… Uselessness

    TOTAL: 9,486 evasions

    So what Jay Carney is saying is, when he is not actively lying or giving softball answers like who the President picked in his March Madness brackets, he is:
    Incompetent 35.6% of the time
    Condescending 22.4% of the time
    Insolent 16.1% of the time
    Blaming someone else 14.7% of the time
    Useless 11.3% of the time.

    Maybe his public perception would increase if he handed out some more donuts……….

    Oh…… lest I forget………..Hello NSA people! Hope you’re having a great Friday!

    • ObamaFail

      Well done on figuring up all of the instances. Be careful though, we have some liberals who visit this site, and all of those facts might fry their brains.

      • Canadian in USA

        Assuming they have brains.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4

        • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

          Bravo, Bob, bravo! It goes WAY back, doesn’t it?

        • Ronald Green

          Got ta love Bob Hope… You mean like Democrats. I laughed so hard … Man, i needed that

      • Canadian in USA

        Assuming they have brains.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWpU8sX10_4

      • trixiewoobeans

        Sorry, they don’t recognize “facts”, just feelings.

    • ObamaFail

      Well done on figuring up all of the instances. Be careful though, we have some liberals who visit this site, and all of those facts might fry their brains.

    • MissJames

      Thank you for sharing this. I feel bad for whoever had to sit through the tapings of all Jay Carney’s sessions in order to come up with the count. My eyes and ears would be bleeding.

      • Suzyqpie

        Just FYI, it’s software, lexisnexis sorts and counts word phrases. It’s why no one can get away with plagiarism any more.

    • MissJames

      Thank you for sharing this. I feel bad for whoever had to sit through the tapings of all Jay Carney’s sessions in order to come up with the count. My eyes and ears would be bleeding.

    • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

      Excellent analysis!

    • Noah

      you forgot
      “it’s probably because of a youtube video”
      and “well, the previous administration started the program, so it’s their fault if we chose to continue it and phuck it up.”

    • 8gary8

      WELL SAID!

    • http://www.FunDMental.com TheRealJackpineSavage

      “Useless 11.3% of the time.”

      Actually, Carney is Useless 100% of the time.

  • john gill

    What has he lied about??

    • Noah

      how about
      “um, that began with the previous administration.”
      that a big enough phucking lie, shithead??

    • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

      You disingenuous nooshdozzle! GTFO, you lackwit.

    • Suzyqpie

      “I can’t comment until the investigation is complete,” then do no investigation.

    • Zach Brewer

      The easier question to answer is: what has he NOT lied about? … That answer is: nothing.

    • Jerry Camp

      “I’ll get back to you….” 387 times

  • john gill

    Unintelligent conservatives SMDH!!….you claim these ppl lie, but can’t prove it lol…morons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

      OK, I’ll give you that. You aren’t liars, just stupid and incompetent..

    • trixiewoobeans

      Lies don’t matter to you anyway, unless you’re the ones being lied to, and then only if it’s a Conservative. Libs lying to you…oh hell no, that’s just not POSSIBLE!!

    • Zach Brewer

      You CANNOT possibly be as dumb as you are coming across here buddy. … Or can you?

  • Clete Torres

    Carney barker is a transparently unfettered liar.

  • Clete Torres

    Carney barker is a transparently unfettered liar.

  • TomJB

    So for those times he has said he “would get back to” the questioner with an answer, has he? I know if I give that answer and I don’t quickly thereafter, there are serious consequences

  • TomJB

    So for those times he has said he “would get back to” the questioner with an answer, has he? I know if I give that answer and I don’t quickly thereafter, there are serious consequences

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    To the tune of “Joy” (#JesuTheJoyOfMankind) #Apollo100 #MusicTriviaTime #RightWard Jawamax 8<{D}

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    To the tune of “Joy” (#JesuTheJoyOfMankind) #Apollo100 #MusicTriviaTime #RightWard Jawamax 8<{D}

  • truckee22

    Ha! Love the ‘White Washing’ photo. Might be my new background.

  • truckee22

    Ha! Love the ‘White Washing’ photo. Might be my new background.

  • religionandhistory

    Bill Clintons press secretary was quickly and unceremoniously fired for letting slip truth trying to defend the POTUS ! An internally known character revealing and tarnishing fact offered truthfully and publicly even to save the POTUS will get you terminated ! Without the liberal biased presses complicity the cover up of the enormity of the ” standing order” , it would alone have condemned the POTUS fully ! (paraphrased =) ” Bill couldn’t have sexually harassed anyone because it was a standing White House order to see to it he was never alone with any female ” ! Telling the truth or speaking candidly is never a good idea for any liberal ! They seek out the proficiently obfuscating straight faced dissemblers , unflinching misdirecting calculating conscience devoid misleader whether POTUS , cabinet member or press secretary …… liberals thereby prop up the illusion of seeking the truth without the added burden of telling the truth at any time …ever !

  • religionandhistory

    Bill Clintons press secretary was quickly and unceremoniously fired for letting slip truth trying to defend the POTUS ! An internally known character revealing and tarnishing fact offered truthfully and publicly even to save the POTUS will get you terminated ! Without the liberal biased presses complicity the cover up of the enormity of the ” standing order” , it would alone have condemned the POTUS fully ! (paraphrased =) ” Bill couldn’t have sexually harassed anyone because it was a standing White House order to see to it he was never alone with any female ” ! Telling the truth or speaking candidly is never a good idea for any liberal ! They seek out the proficiently obfuscating straight faced dissemblers , unflinching misdirecting calculating conscience devoid misleader whether POTUS , cabinet member or press secretary …… liberals thereby prop up the illusion of seeking the truth without the added burden of telling the truth at any time …ever !

  • MJ Pauls

    Only 9,486?

  • MJ Pauls

    Only 9,486?

  • BadGirloftheNorth

    The messages are everywhere! White Washing—Jay C. is white and he’s a scrubbin’ his fingers to the bone…

    • trixiewoobeans

      That’s RAAACCCIIISSST!!! Or somethin’. (sarc)

      • BadGirloftheNorth

        I am sure it is, to some. For me, I’ve never figured out how ‘actions’ have become a ‘race’; or how stating the facts is a race?? ‘Splain that one to me! :) ACK!

        • trixiewoobeans

          I could if I was not hindered by reason, accountability and common sense! Lol!

  • BadGirloftheNorth

    The messages are everywhere! White Washing—Jay C. is white and he’s a scrubbin’ his fingers to the bone…

  • Spike Bement

    I think 9’486 is a modest figure.

    • John Howard

      Just for the year to day, I’m sure.

  • JPeyton

    This is another guy that has lost his mind to a point that Obuma has his arm up Jay’s ass far enough to work his mouth for him. I really do not think the guy can even spell “TRUTH”!

  • $22639970

    In Jay Carneybarker’s defense, if one is stupid enough to be Goosestepin Fetchit’s mouthpiece, isn’t it entirely likely that he’s actually too stupid to know anything?

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Ladies and gentlemen…I give you, Jay Carney.

  • AlmaAlma

    Basically all the “I don’t knows, it wasn’t me, I don’t remember” Bart Simpson like characters i.e. Obama, Holder, IRS, Carney etc. etc. are using this as a Weapon to get their way. Clever dickies aren’t they. What can be done about it?

  • dr44

    I will forever picture Jay’s face when I look up “weasel” in the dictionary.

  • 8gary8

    TRULY, A PIECE OF WORK!

  • ICOYAR

    His last name says it all.

    He belongs in a circus. As a clown.

  • Suzyqpie

    “I can’t discuss that until the investigation is complete,” then do no investigation.

  • Lady 12

    Good for Yahoo!

  • Discontentwliars

    I think he’s got a good nick-name. “Let me count the ways” Carney

  • John Howard

    When Carney does a dodge, a *gutsy* reporter would stand up, announce they are going to come back tomorrow and expect a straight answer at that time.

  • mhojai

    What’s really amazing is that these are dodges of sycophantic softballs from the fawning propaganda ministry (previously known as “the press”)…what would he do with actual questions about their policies?!

  • Suzyqpie

    0bama using the same cliche with world leaders. It’s a laugh.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhv5nT34NHo