Unable to perfect the art of the “Jedi mind meld,” President Obama signed the order that ushered in Sequesterpocalygeddon on Friday. With one signature, an estimated 170 gajillion jobs disappeared and Capitol janitors readied themselves for a life of cannibalism.

It’s strange, but we’re having trouble locating any reports of rivers running red with the blood of innocents. Were the prophecies wrong?

Reporter Jamie Dupree read the 83-page report from White House Office of Management and Budget so you don’t have to. Here’s his complete rundown on the sequester cuts. Read his tweets, then check out Jamie Dupree’s Washington Insider.

Dupree picked up again on Saturday morning with a line-by-line detailing of the automatic cuts.

Are you wearing your panicked face?

  • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

    $69 million was cut from Procurement of Ammunition for the Navy and Marine Corps

    Whew! For a minute I thought that they were going to take away money for all the ammo that Soc Security, Postal Inspectors and Dept of Education need.

    • vbratch

      caught that one too, did you? Thank goodness our Marines still have their bayonets

    • Gallatin

      I guess the Navy and Marines will know where the supply depot is.

  • dmbatten

    The Government is as bloated as Michael Moore and should be cut back to pre-Bush levels. The people footing the bill, the US tax payer, has seen cuts in real income due to tax increases, obamacare insurance increases, rising food and energy costs, so the gubberment should feel the same pain. Our elected are acting as if they are the ‘elite’ of society when, in fact, they are OUR SERVANTS.
    Keep Cutting !!!

    • v1cious

      There’s a simple that way we could fix most of this right now: Cut the military budget in half. I wonder why everyone is so quiet about that one.

      • AMSilver

        Because it wouldn’t fix anything in the long run. The real problem is medical inflation, which is rising at a logarythmic pace. If we don’t fix the problem of medical inflation (which is resulting in $211 trillion in unfunded liabilities – that’s $211 trillion of which $0 is military expenditures) then our financial system will collapse. As long as we have the equivalent of government mandated medical monopolies operated jointly by our government and the insurance industry, medical costs will never go down, and medicare/pensions will bankrupt us (not that we’re solvent at the moment…)

      • WisconsinPatriot

        Nothing that any sane person would say to you would make any difference in your thinking at all. Your lack of knowledge of what are legitimate functions of government is, really what we get for allowing the federal gov the purview to oversee public education. You are the result. That being said, you ARE entitled to your opinion, but you know what……….the world is getting MORE dangerous,not less. Your opinion also telegraphs that you are a “taker” not a “maker”. Voting yourself stuff is all you ever going to do. This country could do worse than kicking your sorry @ss off the dole and making you seek gainful employment. Bless your heart!

        • Ronald

          If someone in your family fell on hard times, would you help them out? Would you assist them? Would you call them a “taker” for it? Do you really want to live in a society of ever man/women for themselves? C’mon now. Think it through.

      • Garth Haycock

        If, by “cut in half” you’re talking about closing almost all of the bases around the world, then I would agree with you.

        I’m tired of the US being the defender of the world. If countries in Europe, Asia and other continents want the United States to continue to remain in their countries to defend them, they need to fund those bases themselves. If they don’t want to pay for it, then we need to close the overseas bases and move the troops back to this country so they can do the job they’re supposed to do – defend the United States of America. Let’s put the US military on the border to ensure that the drug cartels are unable to kill US citizens.

        • SpinMeNot

          On target — can you imagine how fast the economies of Europe if they actually had to defend themselves?

          Close them all except for Ramstein, that is often the first stop for wounded.

          • Garth Haycock

            Agreed about Ramstein. I’d consider consolidating the posts in S. Korea into just one base as long as the always dangerous Kim family is in power in N. Korea.

        • nickshaw

          I agree, close foreign bases unless they want to pay for their protection. Seems fair to me, we have to pay security guards.

      • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

        Funny how when cuts are mentioned, the ONLY thing most libs immediatly nominate is their favorite sacrifical lamb: defense.

        Tell you what sparky…how about we start taking huge cuts in shit that ISN’T part of the constitutionally-madated duty of the Federal government? How about we get completely rid of entitlements? How about that?

    • henryknox

      Cut every budget in DC by 5%, including military, medicare, medicaid, education, energy, etc. Tyshunn should agree with that. Then next year do the same thing.

    • henryknox

      The Progressives keep saying that we should go back to the Clinton era, so I guess they would agree with you. Funny though that they always talk about Clinton tax rates and not the Clinton spending levels. Wonder why?

  • nc

    Remember when we used to suggest cutting several millions from different agencies, e.g. CPB, and we were told, “That’s just a drop in the bucket, it wouldn’t make any real difference.”

    So now it’s such a big deal?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Very good point!

    • Gallatin

      I remember thank you for reminding us. “Big Bird doesn’t get that much money anyway so what is the point of cutting?” Now the cuts, that aren’t really cuts, are a CRISIS of biblical proportions. Washington DC is a complete joke but I’m not laughing because I’m being screwed.

  • rivers

    Poor Obama, I’ll bet he didn’t sleep a wink last night worrying how we’ll get by on just 974 billion.

    • http://www.facebook.com/brett.mcmicken Brett McMicken

      that’s bound to mess up his golf game

  • journogal

    Looks like the Office of Janitors and Sanitation was spared. On a more serious note, looks like many (if not all) of the programs could be eliminated and we would not notice the difference.

    And bless Iowahawk keeping up with the #grimmilestone of the sequester. I surprised we made it to another day.

  • Emily B

    What in the world is the Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Trust Fund?? I did notice they are cutting funds for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Poor Big Bird.

    • SpinMeNot

      Big Bird and the rest of the socialist gang living on Sesame Street will be just find. Sesame Street is largely self-founding to an number of massive endowments.

      I watched an episode the other day with a couple of grandchildren … I felt like I’d spent a days at the Ministry of Love.

    • Gallatin

      Patient-Centered Outcomes Research Trust Fund

      They’re trying to figure out what flavors of Soylent Green people will like best.

  • RightThinking1

    “National Endowment for the Arts has $7 million chopped, same for National Endowment for the Humanities”

    Good lord! This is even going to impact dung-covered performance artists.

    Surely we are in the end times..

  • Adela Wagner

    $31 million was cut from Salaries and Expenses for department offices at the Interior Department…HUH? Offices get salaries? And expense accounts?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      It’s for office needs like digital cameras for Anthony Weiner.

  • Rick Weesner


  • v1cious

    “$62 million was cut in Salaries and Expenses at the US House of Representatives”

    I’m ok with that.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      I can’t believe I am agreeing with you for once. Was there another meteor explosion today?

  • GaryTheBrave

    No cuts for the salaries and offices of the President’s Czars!

  • GaryTheBrave

    Jamie Dupree mentioned that some of the money was left over from previous budget years. Imagine if that had been deposited in let’s say the Social Security Trust Fund.

    • http://www.vatican.va/ Rulz

      But that won’t really get the democrats votes.

  • http://www.vatican.va/ Rulz

    While not the preferred option, I am glad the sequester is here.

  • dennylee60

    Wait, I thought Obama was going to go through every line of the budget and veto all the waste. How did he miss all these items?!?!?!

    • TexSizzle

      If it’s spending by the government on anything at all other than defense or ensuring that only those who are legally allowed to vote can do so, he doesn’t consider it waste.

  • Jack Deth

    Sequestration. Day One:

    No Zombies walking around with a hunger for brains.
    No airliners falling from the sky.
    Godzilla is still on Monster Island. Downtown Tokyo is pleasantly peaceful.
    Fire and brimstone is not raining down from the heavens.
    The oceans haven’t risen.
    Dogs and cats are not living together. Though the Dust Bunnies are quietly plotting.
    No black helicopters about.
    Gun, ammunition and accessories are still going through the roof.
    Baltimore and Washington, DC are not under siege or ablaze.
    The Fantastic Four are in retirement at the Baxter Building.

    Just another day that ens in ‘y’.

    • WisconsinPatriot

      JACK, cats and dogs live together at my house…………IS THIS A SIGN OF THE END TIMES???????

      • journogal

        I am with you…I have a bunny and dog that live together at my house. Definitely unusual times.

      • Jack Deth

        They’re just tolerating each other indoors, because it’s cold outdoors.

  • Scott Anderson

    It’s so bad, Obama and the wookie have to take their 17 vacations together this year, and Obama are a dog!

    He didnt have to eat the dog, he just likes doing that.

  • WisconsinPatriot

    I read the entire list. The ones that I thought might…….just MIGHT have a little impact,I counted on one hand with a finger left over. LETS KEEP GOING! There are departments upon departments upon departments that were not mentioned. EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!!!!!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/IrishTea1 Terry O’

    I say it’s a great start. Only TWO bugged me. Heating assistance for the poor and Military vehicle reinforcement. My concern is assuaged by all the waste/corruption that won’t be funded. Most of these programs are to advertise thaty the Gov’t has these programs. If the programs were important advertising would be unnecessary. smh

  • tomincol

    This is like a million razor cuts at once. Most folks have no idea these agencies existed. Maybe that is the real fear

  • Shawn

    And not one dollar cut from the presidents pay, it is a good day indeed #SarcasticAsshole

  • freeinaz

    Amazingly we still have money to give to Egypt along with free F-16’s and Abrams tanks.