For the can’t-make-this-up file, Washington D.C. lawmakers unanimously approved a bill that would start a pilot program to pay residents not to commit crimes.

This initial proposal is for “up to 200 people per year” who have been identified as “at risk for committing a crime” to participate in behavioral therapy of some sort. And if at the end of the therapy they haven’t committed a crime, they get paid an as of yet unidentified amount.

A similar program in Richmond, California pays people $9000 a year to not commit crimes, but that’s like comparing apples and oranges:

Of course taxpayers would pay. Duh!

We’ve really lost our way as a country, haven’t we?



Tags: crimed.C.
  • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

    Well, that disqualifies every single Member of Congress, the Federal Courts, the entire Executive Branch…

  • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

    Yeah, I love getting a check every year from my city for NOT killing people…

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Where do I sign up? I figure with all the idjits I didn’t cold-cock over the years I could probably retire comfortably.

    • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

      H3ll! For seven decades I’ve not been a criminal. Wheah my money!?

  • Jake Wilde

    It is amazing that we have undeveloped political minds leading us.

    • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

      Not when the electorate is taken into account.

  • Lord Foggybottom

    Why doesn’t everybody get $9000/year to not commit crimes? Most people don’t commit crimes, so, according to liberals this handout of $9000 to each US citizen will really get the economy going again!

    • GonetoCarolina

      I’m just gonna take mine off my tax bill…

  • Lord Foggybottom

    Do the almost-criminals have to pay tax on it?
    If they’re almost-criminals, will they pay tax?
    How can you trust them to pay tax if you can’t trust them to not commit crimes?

    • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

      Pay taxes? RACIST!!!

      • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

        Well there must be taxes levied in order to ramp up the Everything is FREE economy…

        And regulations… lots and lots of regulations, otherwise the elected/appointed officials and career bureaucrats will have to pursue another line of criminal endeavor.

  • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

    Don’t worry, some activist will complain that “it’s not a living wage”…

    • Perso Nasplit

      That was my first thought. You know its coming. Also, since a higher % of the black population vs the % of white population is incarcerated, its unfair that black people have to pay taxes to give money to white people.

      • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

        Wait… in DC, they pay taxes?

        • Perso Nasplit

          Are you still thinking just DC? Think bigger! A National tax to pay for people not committing crimes.

          • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

            Patience… Rome wasn’t burned in a day, y’know…

      • Deborah Hallsted

        So..when they vote, …they’ll vote for…Oh.Yeah, I get it…

    • CrazyDaze✓veridicous

      Someone will sit down and figure out how much they are paid vs how many hours they have to invest to get paid and realize that they are not getting $15/hr and sue the government for more money.

      • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

        I think we have a new cash cow for Jackson and Sharpton, The Justice Brothers…

        • CrazyDaze✓veridicous

          You should pitch that at NBC, The Justice Brothers. Two down on their luck black activists, that owe millions in back taxes, take on the social injustices in America where ever they occur. Taking their battle against nuns, Conservatives, anti-AGW, pro-lifers. The Justice Brothers go out and sue all these groups every week. The Justice Brothers are shown to destroy the 1A and 2A each week. Social Justice Warriors by day, petty criminals by night.

          • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

            Well, talk to El Rushbo, he coined the term. I like the sit-com idea, though.

            Hollywood will, of course, hire two WHITE actors for the job…

          • CrazyDaze✓veridicous

            “Uncle Jesse” Jackson – John Stamos
            “Al” Sharpton – Ed O’Neill

          • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

            And who will play their ditzy secretary, Tawanna?

          • bunnehbooboo

            Lena Dunham? LOL

          • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

            ONLY if she keeps her damn clothes ON!

          • Deborah Hallsted

            If she can’t, and Jamie Foxx isn’t busy he could reprise his role as Wanda, from In Living Color.

          • bunnehbooboo

            It just writes itself…

          • Bgoulette

            You misspelled “The Just-Us Brothers” (FIFY)

    • Ragnar__Danneskjold

      Someone will try to unionize them.

      • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

        I’m pretty sure the DNC already took care of that…

    • Ragnar__Danneskjold

      I’m a criminal, pay me or I will commit a crime.

      Definition of extortion
      : the crime of getting money from someone by the use of force or threats

      : the act or practice of extorting especially money or other property; especially : the offense committed by an official engaging in such practice

  • Penny✓ItsSoFluffy! #GoBolts!

    I… uh… this has me flabbergasted.

    OMG, how much dumber can they get??

    • Perso Nasplit

      Do you REALLY want to know the answer to that?

      • Penny✓ItsSoFluffy! #GoBolts!


    • Doc Farmer✔ᶜᵒᵛᶠᵉᶠᵉ ᵈᵉᵖˡᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ

      They view that as a challenge, y’know…

      • Penny✓ItsSoFluffy! #GoBolts!

        That’s frightening. (shudder)

  • Please, god help us!

    Just another scam DC city officials created to redistribute taxpayer funds to their relatives. Call it the Marion Barry Memorial Kickback Program.

  • Sanchez

    The thugs will be setting up a lottery to see who can get into the “200 Club”!

    What a ignorant stupid idea. And using TAXPAYER funds to do this is simply wrong morally.

    • prado4587

      Next liberals will propose using taxpayer money to educate people saying that it will keep people out of jail. Liberals must be stopped

      • CVN65

        Nice try. It’s already been done and it doesn’t work. Those inclined to take advantage of an education will do so regardless of the circumstances. Those inclined to be criminals will do so regardless of the amount of money thrown at their educators.

        • journogal

          Not worth engaging the troll.

  • Sanchez

    The District of Crooks gov should set up special SPEED and STOP light cameras specifically to fund this. Not use taxpayer funding.

  • Please, god help us!

    I’m sure Baltimore will be next.

    • globalcrap

      Or any O Bogus liberal city controlled by the O Bogus regime of criminals.

  • kennyraisin

    Heads up. There’s already been a pilot program in place for over two hundred years. It’s called the federal guvment. How is that little experiment working out for ya?

  • Askwatch

    D.C. sets up its own protection racket. It might be more effective if they targeted it to leftists in office.

  • kennyraisin

    It’s called the reparation program.

    • Jake Wilde

      People really should read Michelle O’s thesis if they haven’t.

      • kennyraisin

        I seem to recall someone mentioning that years ago plus comments about the job she had in Chicago IRT unethical actions by the company she worked for. I also believe that Sarah Palin wanted to use something from that during the 2008 election and John McCain put the squeeze on it.

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Hey, I’m all in favor of repatriation!

      Oh wait…

  • Sanchez

    Every morning on my drive to work I could easily kill a few people with my car but don’t so DESERVE a check!

  • Right4 Rebel

    Well the libs running DC found a way to redistribute the wealth of the taxpayers.

  • Comrade Hadenov

    And there is no mention of who is paying for the therapy, so my guess is that money is going to be stolen from the taxpayers again and given to those therapists who meet qualifications and/or are related to the thieves posing as politicians.

  • journogal

    Boy, have I’ve been doing it wrong all of these years. See, I thought the way to prosperity is to be employed and not to commit crimes. Little I did realize that one day, chronic unemployment and crime would truly pay off.

  • soxfan4evah

    How much will it cost to get the Clinton’s to stop committing crimes?

    • Jake Wilde

      It would have to be a lot more than $6 billion right?

      • soxfan4evah

        Maybe $6 billion annually

  • Rogue Cheddar

    I thought they already paid Congress?

  • D H

    This initial proposal is for “up to 200 people per year – there is that many people who work in the White House?

  • Hotlanta Mike


    A lesson in leftist catastrophe generating leftist extremism.

  • toddm123

    Can you say LIBERALISM!?

  • Arttie the Deplorable

    Scott, with a wench, they might not want to get back on the road to righteousness.

  • Rhonda Lynn

    Brain dead DC people. Check the water!

  • Storm Saxon’s Gall Bladder

    “Give me $9000 or i will burn Florida to the ground,” is extortion.
    “Give me $9000 because i didn’t burn Florida to the ground,”
    is a brilliant program from our benevolent government.

  • CrazyDaze✓veridicous

    Maybe Deray Mckesson has finally found a way to be paid for all his protesting.

  • globalcrap

    Why work , when the O Bogus regime, and Washed – up d c does not. Paying O Bogus criminals not to commit crimes, while the working tax payers pay for these bums sleeping all day and party all night.

    • CrazyDaze✓veridicous

      Well, he just let out all his friends from prison. Only fair that he pays them now too.

      • globalcrap

        I wish I was a criminal. Getting this O Bogus money would help me pay my bills.

  • robert anthony

    It’s Biblical, right? Those who model their lives to obey God are punished, while the Lord rewards the wicked from the fruits of the righteous? Ain’t that the deal?/sarc.

  • Andy Rigo ✓ᵗᵉʳʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    “Hello, Mayor? Yeah, I’ve got this real bad itch to start robbing convenience stores again. I think I need an extra $1,000 to cure that itch. Capiche?”

  • Zhytamyr

    I thought that they called that “welfare” – and it doesn’t prevent crime worth a flip.

  • robert anthony

    So….the politicians are gonna steal money from the taxpayers so that others don'[t steal money from the taxpayers…?

    I guess thieves really hate competition.

  • bunnehbooboo

    No allowance this week until you behave…don’t make me come back there!!

    • globalcrap

      If you go back there, make you are armed because they are dangerous O Bogus criminals.

  • globalcrap

    Billionaires like Kerry , Gore ,Kennedy’s, and holly weird should pay these parasites, not the working tax payers.

  • Deborah Hallsted

    I’m just so happy we have tons of money laying around for important causes such as these. All the Vets are in good shape..the homeless…and the Chinese are rich and generous enough to lend America.all the money to throw away like this! We don’t have to pay them back or anything, right? No obligation of any sort? Rtf?

  • Joe DeCaro

    Positive reinforcement only works well with lab rats that don’t know how to game the system.

  • globalcrap

    Maybe the O Bogus criminals will murder each other , trying to be the first in line for the O Bogus money.

  • LucienCordier

    Scott Denson @scottdenson1
    Man we are so far out in the weeds a tractor, a wench and a machete couldn’t get us back to the right road.

    I think Scott meant winch. The wench is probably why he drove the car into the weeds in the first place.

  • © Sponge

    Bribery. It’s how DC WORKS.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    Wanna bet a good portion of the nine grand goes to drugs which only perpetuates the crime cycle all over again?

  • mike dar

    Does it follow that they can create their own Public Union? Get a ‘PAC”, make donations… you know… become ‘mainstream’?

  • Odildo

    One of hundreds of examples how the liberal mind has a serious mental defect. Liberals top the list for this nation’s biggest threat to its existence

  • CrystalDawn0603

    Man, the level of stupid in that idea is astounding. But considering the city, it’s par for the course.

  • TCDave

    Who’s interested in being the Business Manager for their union? Anyone?

  • Orpheus75

    the future of our society in the hands of Progressives.

    • sizemorew

      Seems optimistic somehow.

  • Kevin Giltrud


    “But This Magazine… Or We’ll Shoot This Dog!”

    *Apologies to ‘The National Lampoon’ magazine*

  • Dwayne Mountain Dew Camacho

    Build a wall around Washington DC……dont let those people immigrate to the United States.

    • Michael the white suburbanite

      I see where Iraq is building a 10′ wall around it’s Capitol (probably with our money)

  • Seriously?

    I love the incentive programs that Liberals and Democrats create. /s

  • Jeff H ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ comic genius

    Wait, I feel a crime spree coming on…the only thing that can save me is…
    Ca$h Man!!! Faster than an ATM. More secure than a chip-enabled debit card. Less traceable than Bill Clinton’s sperm.

    • Michael the white suburbanite

      well what in the ‘Verse isn’t

  • Rick Owen
  • sizemorew

    This sounds like a protection racket: “If you pay me, I won’t have to be a criminal, will I?”

  • jeffunde

    And hardworking taxpayers will be flipping for the bill!!

  • HiltonHead_Dude

    This is a prime example that politicians will NEVER run out of ways to spend tax payer money.

  • Jeff Henderson ✓Bona Fide

    How about instead we pay for some politicians to go away. Same thing.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy


    But has to be means tested first.

    Any convicted felon currently receiving welfare/ SNAP forfeits it in return for a smaller “Stop being a Criminal” stipend.

    I’m good with that.

  • HSD2015

    So, they’re going to pay a thug to not commit a crime. How are they going to watch these people to be sure they stay good and law abiding? Criminals commit crimes, that’s what they do.

    • Michael the white suburbanite

      Only non-criminal criminals need apply

  • Jeff

    Fraudulent claims of non-criminal activity arriving in 3…2…

    • Michael the white suburbanite

      but couldn’t claim the not committing a fraudulent claim as a claim of non-criminal activity?

  • JV

    I could swear that is from the movie idiocracy

  • maggieinWY

    In Minnesota they would give gift certificates to people on medicaid who agreed to take their medicine. As if the FREE MEDICAL CARE wasn’t “gift” enough.

  • whatev…✓ yo’self.

    I hope the payouts go to a racially balanced mixture of criminals.

  • Shirley

    For the first time in a longtime I am speechless. You just cannot fix STUPID.

  • LimpingHenry

    Okay, but I don’t want a piddling amount. Give me at least what my brother in law’s Aunt Mabel can make working on the Internet.