The New York Times’ political editor mega-teased an upcoming story, and speculation quickly started to flood Twitter via the #NYTGuesses hashtag.

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Reaction with predictions about the Times’ “scoop” was massive and funny:

If this last guess is correct, somebody please inform the Times that we already know:

(h/t @einfal)

Editor’s note: The post was amended to include the hat tip, which was inadvertently omitted. 

  • fireandreamitchell

    Nelson Mandela was really Obama’s father.

    • 0bamasnought

      I wonder if Frank Marshall Davis knew Stan was cheating?

    • Ariadnea

      Or could it be NYT will finally file for bankruptcy protection!

  • http://thekencarroll.blogspot.com/ Ken Carroll

    President Obama’s grandfather was a member of Krushchev’s cabinet.

  • H50 ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    I was reading this hash tag stream earlier and it is hilarious!
    I don’t think they got what they were aiming for with this tease, but its about time they know that they are a joke.

  • ObamaFail

    Let me guess, their big scoop is that Obamacare is wonderful and that cancelled policies and skyrocketing premiums are a good thing, and that anyone who disagrees should be defecated and urinated on?

    • Mark81150 Never/Trump/Hillary

      something close…

      when a leftist proclaims something “ground shaking” that’ll make you “rethink” they absolutely don’t mean liberals.. they mean the center right..

      another is if you only knew THIS… GASP….

      you’d agree with us, and shut up.. article.

      5 will get you 10, it’s old news repackaged… with major liberal spin.

  • JR48

    Terrifying to contemplate what they think is ‘groundbreaking’.

  • 0bamasnought

    They are a front for the failed stories from ‘The Onion”.

  • Matt

    The NSA will be releasing recent highlights and blooper reels.

    • Guest

      Maybe they’re going to start selling secrets to the Muslim Brotherhood. I mean, Obama’s got to start planning for what he’s going to do after he leaves the White House, and helping his friends in the Muslim Brotherhood get America’s secrets would be a good step to become their new leader!

  • mdtljt

    I laughed like a loon at the Chinese secret reference…then realized 2/3 of the population of America probably doesn’t get the joke….I’m officially OLD…that sucks…and before anyone gets bent out of shape, my dad is an old school ad man…

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

      I still remember “Mrs Lee” coming out with the Calgon box and saying they needed more. The customer looks at “Mr Lee” and says, “Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?”

      I still say that. But then I also say,

      “Certs is a candy mint.”
      “No, Certs is a breath mint.”
      “Certs is two (click), two (click), two mints in one.”

      And as we all remember, each Certs contains a golden drop of Retsyn.

      Oh heck. Now I’m thinking about Mrs Olsen and Folgers Coffee, which is mountain grown…..

      • mdtljt

        Thanks Tug!!! Forgot about the magical Retsyn!!! Loved me some Certs back in the day!!! Do you remember the SNL “commercial” mimicking that? It’s a floor wax! No!! It’s a dessert topping!!! Holy Lord….I’m way wicked old…WHAT FUN!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS MOVIEHOUSE!!!! 😀

      • nc ✓s & balances

        We’re all ready for our “Calgon, take me away!” moment.

        Tug, remember how shocked we were when “Mrs. Olsen” appeared in “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?”

        • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

          Remember the steamy romance commercials for Taster’s Choice coffee?

          • nc ✓s & balances

            You got me there. I need some refreshment.

            Wonder how long it’s been since they’ve run any ads for instant coffee?

          • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

            Here’s the series in one video. This is the British version for Nescafe Gold, but the American series for Taster’s Choice was identical.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meJDrMW6mns

          • nc ✓s & balances

            OMG, thank you so much, Tug! That was like watching a mini-movie – with mini-commercials. Fabulous! The first commercial seemed familiar, but the rest were not. This was a real treat.

      • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

        Don’t forget to soak those nails in Palmolive dishwashing liquid, Madge says. While you ♫see the U-S-A in a Chevrolet!

        Or this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AlfUKKP81o

        • Ken Alan Draper
          • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

            To my horror, I remember when all those were new.

          • nc ✓s & balances

            Mona!

          • nc ✓s & balances

            Thanks, Ken, that was fun!

      • Ken Alan Draper

        Hey you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!

        • nc ✓s & balances

          “I’ll take a penny’s worth of the big bag.”

      • Todd Hill

        more flashbacks…

        “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature…” – Dena Dietrich for Chiffon margarine

        “Go ahead and knock it off. I dare you!” – Robert Conrad for Eveready batteries

      • journogal

        What about Enjoli? “”I can bring home the bacon, Fry it up in a pan.
        And never let you forget you’re a man.
        Because I’m a woman, W-O-M-A-N. Enjoli!”

        Could you imagine the reaction now if this commercial came out?

        • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

          Or the Geritol commercial where the husband says, “My wife. I think I’ll keep her.”

          • nc ✓s & balances

            Would probably start a lawsuit…

          • journogal

            That commercial is where Mary Chapin Carpenter got the title to her song, “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her.” Little useless (or useful) trivia there.

    • heyheythere

      It’s a reference? Can you explain?

      • mdtljt

        Please see Tug’s response above…I’m still laughing so hard I can hardly type!!!! If you don’t remember early 70s TV it’ll be lost on you….and it was never meant to be racist or offensive…that was just pre-PC…back when folks had a sense of humor not moderated by the gubmint…

        • heyheythere

          Thanks I must have replied at the same time as a lot of that conversation above me because it wasn’t there when I posted!

      • Ken Alan Draper

        back in the 1970’s there was a laundry detergent that had a commercial in which a woman is at a Chinese laundry picking up her clothes & she asks how they got the dingy collars so white, the man behind the counter replies “Ancient Chinese secret” just then a woman comes from in back & says “we’re out of Calgon”
        the counter guy looks sheepish as the customer replies “ancient Chinese secret huh?”

      • Ken Alan Draper

        easier to show you then explain

        http://youtu.be/mzixL7Ef-bI

    • Ken Alan Draper

      Ancient chinease secret huh?

    • BrainChildOfGod

      Now I’m flashing back to the old Joe Isuzu ads… never did I dream he’d end up in the Oval Office. :-/

  • ObamaFail

    Is it news on Obama’s latest plan to slow the growth of income inequality by passing a plan that will make income inequality even worse?
    Oh, and to any libs who still thinks that Obama is “one of the little guys”

    • Guest

      If anything, income inequality has gotten worse since he took office.

    • Jay Stevens

      Looking at the 2007 figures, community organizing and patient dumping pays pretty well.

  • Jack Deth

    #nytguesses:

    Ezekiel Emanuel is a closely and highly protected child molester.

  • ScarlettNY

    Obama sold Alaska back to the Russians.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil ✓Mate

      Well, he gave it back, but only Sarah Palin’s property, the Pipeline and the oil rights from the North Slope.

      • ScarlettNY

        That’s it! He’s revoked Palins citizenship, too! Nothing would surprise me. But the NY Slimes having a scoop is usually not against the DemocRats.

  • Pat

    they finally got one more reader.

    • Jay Stevens

      “they finally got one more reader paid subscriber.”

  • Frank Drebin

    ­

    ­
    The Hokey-Pokey really IS what it’s all about.

    ­
    ­

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Tim Thomerson thinks so.

  • ToyZebra

    Obama had a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Hailed as a ground breaking triumph in race relations. Second nobel prize predicted.

    • Elizabeth Fisher

      LOL… now that’s brilliant!!! :-)

  • nc ✓s & balances

    ✔ @AriFleischer
    Follow
    The NYT has learned the donor of VP Cheney’s heart was a prominent liberal activist and big Dem donor. #nytguesses
    6:33 PM – 8 Dec 2013
    ——————–
    If this were true, can you imagine the heart attacks it would cause? LOL!

  • ceemack

    I can see the headline now: “Problems With Obamacare Found To Be Bush’s Fault”.

  • Exodus2011

    the story is:

    unusual
    groundbreaking
    great

    will make you ‘rethink’ ….

    so, it is supposed to be a political story, and it’s content is unprecedented … I think I know what it could be ….

    • Exodus2011

      #NYTguesses ~> Unprecedented Political Court Case?

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Piers Morgan named editor-in-chief, in view of his great success in that position at British newspapers in the late 90’s and early 00’s.

  • T Hill

    Obama nominated for second Nobel Peace Prize for Obamacare

  • Joseph Kurt

    They finally figured out who actually reads Thomas Friedman?

  • tops116 ✓Quipper

    #nytguesses You actually can’t keep your doctor or your plan–period. Oh wait, we already figured that one out.

  • John_LC_Silvoney

    If it’s a NYT story you can be damn sure it’s some hit/slime job on a conservative or Republican.They wouldn’t be teasing it otherwise.It’s getting down to “squirrel” time for the media-left hive.

  • Janice LEE

    Iran can keep their nukes, PERIOD

  • therantinggeek

    They’ll probably re-post the headlines from when the Giants won Super Bowl XLVI. You know, for nostalgia purposes (since it’s likely they’ll wind up with a second straight year they’ve missed the playoffs.)

  • ashknothole

    NYT headline: “Socialism doesn’t work!”.
    Groundbreaking conclusion by NYT: “Let’s try communism!”

    • bluewaternavy

      And they will blame socialism failure on…..wait for it!
      BUSH!