You might recall a report from last September regarding the first batch of rebel soldiers to graduate from a U.S.-led training program in Turkey. President Obama’s ISIS strategy long included the condition that he would not put American boots on the ground in Syria, so instead, the United States reportedly trained 9 rebels at a cost of $500 million to set their boots on the ground.

The Telegraph then reported that the first group of soldiers to enter Syria immediately surrendered its weapons to al-Qaeda forces. That plan was very quickly put on pause while a new one was worked out.

Why bring this up now? It just reminds us of another U.S. Pentagon initiative — to introduce rare Italian goats into Afghanistan as a means of boosting the local cashmere industry, reports the U.K. Independent. Much like our trained rebel forces, the goats have since gone missing.

The cost of the program? Six million dollars.

  • Cy

    Did anybody search the local brothels?

    • Andrew


    • hoodaticus ✓ᴮᴬᴺᴺᴼᴺ


    • mathewsjw

      exactly, good one

    • WHMay

      Has anyone checked under the burkas for funny eyes?

    • Mary Mommy Happy 2017!

      You win the internet. 👏 👌 🙌

    • Joe DeCaro

      I thought ISIS was selling them to jihadis as sex slaves.

      • Deborah Hallsted


      • Claire Garcia

        Uh, aren’t ISIS jihadis????

        • Joe DeCaro

          Yes, but the sales aren’t restricted to just themselves, i.e., mail order sex slaves sent to al-Shabab, al Qaeda, etc.

    • sizemorew

      Thread winner. Everybody can go home now.

  • Maxx

    Goats to Afghanistan, Guns to Mexico, Cash to Iran…

    From 2008 to 2016, it’s been nothing but a “we told you so” clusterf**k.

    • almarquardt

      At a cost of 6 trillion dollars (debt incurred since Obama took office) and counting.

    • Lamontyoubigdummy

      Next up they’re gonna spend half a $billion dollars to pour fresh water into Solyndra the sea.

      • Grumpy

        We’ve been pouring fresh water into the sea here in CA, during a drought, no less. Economic disaster to save a stupid fish that’s dying off anyway, last I heard.

        • Knitwit

          I live near Fresno State. They are cutting down trees in an experimental orchard because of the drought. Even though we are getting hit with El Niño and there is enough rain. The “plans” were already drawn up, apparently no one has the balz to change the damn plans. Hey Grumpy, wanna come over for pizza? Instead of anchovies, we’ll put little bait fish on ’em. Ya know…those little smelt thingies. (sigh)

        • Knitwit

          Actually it’s not dying off. It’s not indigenous to here. You can find it in abundance other places. Somebody came back from a fishing trip and dumped left-over bait in the Delta…they started spawning and now it’s OUR prob to keep the little boogers alive when all THEY want is to go home. Damn stupid CALibs. Think all their food comes from the grocery store. Then they b$tch about a $5.00 cherry tomato.

          I’ve got my big back yard, my drip irrigation, my heirloom seeds. I’m set. Let the libtards go hungry. I’ve got my own trees and my own livestock. Small stuff…rabbits, chickens, etc. neighbors are cool as long as I share some eggs. LOL!!

          • TexSizzle

            At $5 for a cherry tomato, I had 4 plants in the back yard this past summer worth thousands of dollars. Do they still have agricultural checkpoints at the CA-AZ border to keep out produce from elsewhere?

  • CR

    Government can’t keep track of $6 million worth of goats (which I’d have to think is a sh*t ton of goats). Let’s trust them with our healthcare and let them nationalize 1/6 of the U.S. economy. Good plan.

    • Petrucio14

      State Department under Hillary lost $6 billion. What is a couple of million goats more or less?

      • John

        Remember it’s the thought not the results that are important.

        • Claire Garcia

          I always wished for a $6 billion thought! My dream has been fulfilled! Why don’t I feel better???

    • Anthony

      The independent said that $6 million was spent on 9 goats.

      • Republicanvet

        9. Clearly these goats were ripped apart at the first Saturday night Mullah mixer and dance. Too many wanted the first dance.
        I did hear somewhere that Afghanis invented the condom by using a goat intestine.
        The British improved on it a hundred years later by removing it from the goat first.

      • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

        “The independent said that $6 million was spent on 9 goats. “

        Not just any 9 goats… High class call goats.

        • Knitwit

          They send ’em to the vet every month to check for STD’s and they get regular preg testing. Better than the Bunny Ranch. The bunnies kept dying over there. The bunnies kept screaming “Not In The A$$!!!” But those idjits didn’t speak bunny.

          • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

            Ah say, ah say, I hopes them boys never learn, ah say, never learn to speak chicken…

          • Knitwit


      • tverle

        For $6 million I would have easily sold them twice as many goats!!

    • Buckaroo Banzai

      There’s a non-profit that can send a goat to a poor family for about $100. They do this all over the world. For $100! And our government, full of college graduate beaurocrats can’t send goats to 1 country for $6M.

    • DeplorableMessMan ✔ JesseMessy

      Seems fair enough, depending on which part of “government” you mean, since the tweets by Nahal Toosi of #Politico indicate that 1 part of govt (a part NOT run by the WhiteHouse as is the Pentagon) is doing something right (or something wrong in #Politico’s view):
      …”Senators at a hearing keep mocking idea of importing goats for cashmere industry and trying to build carpet business in Afghanistan…(says Toosi who continues that) You wonder what the senators would know about Afghan’s small business & general strengths at this stage of its development.”
      …HEY #Politico & Nahal Toosi, here’s what the Senators apparently know (and I give credit where it’s due): They know that Afghanistan shouldn’t have taken this long to develop its own business community AND that (in any case the Senators know) Obama’s just gonna bug out of Afghanistan (on a time-table as he did with Iraq) no matter what the state of Afghan business (and security). Got it, Toosi? What the Senate knows in the meantime is that the POTUS is after all President of the USA, NOT of Afghanistan.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    …rare, blonde, Italian goats

    We’d be fine if the Taliban would quit trying to marry all of ’em. Good grief. What’d they think was gonna happen.

    Maybe we start asking for a goat dowry up front. Get at least some of that $6million back.

    • Askwatch

      Blondes are highly prized as concubines in the Muslim culture.

    • thale_taxurfeet ♂ Vilified

      A Goat dowry? Like a traditional dowry that provides money or property to the husband when the wife is betrothed?

      Only if that dowry includes a GPS locator.

      • Lamontyoubigdummy

        Excellent point. …should have fleshed that out.

        Dowry to the nation that provided their husbands with the “rare, italian, blonde goat-bride.”

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    I dunno who’s gonna be more upset with the Taliban. The feminists or PETA.

    Feminists: “You treat women like goats!”

    PETA: “You treat goats like women!”

    • Donald-Now 3x as Deplorable

      The feminists. “We hate the unfair competition! Those goats are far more attractive and charming than we are or ever will be!!”

  • Acuda4me ✓Please!

    War brides?

    • Martin Cohn

      And wearing cashmere too !

  • Andrew

    Man, if there is one thing I would have wagered that we would have successfully been able to transfer to the Afghans, this would have been it…

  • AZWarrior

    They became wives of ISIS fighters and died of STDs.

  • ArmchairMike

    I don’t know how we could have fucked that one up, I mean a case of lipstick and a truckload of goats and the work does itself.

  • ToyZebra

    The goats went into someone’s stew pot. Nobody there cared about cashmere goats. They cared about lunch.

  • FaithColeridge33

    Thanks Twitchy. Just when I got over my screaming goats on YouTube addiction.

    • Lamontyoubigdummy

      I don’t know I could vote for him, but only the Trump campaign can run this Hillary 2016 ad

  • Kevin Giltrud


    A huge part of “Vietnam~ization” and its “Winning Heats and Minds” (WHAMming) was GIs raising pigs in selected villages and teaching the locals how to do the same…. Never worked!

    To the point of local fire bases sending their garbage to those villes, because the locals’ diet (“slops”) were completely wrong for the pigs.

  • Comrade Hadenov

    Did anyone in DC remember that goat meat is highly prized in the muslim part of the world?

    • TugboatPhil

      There’s meat and there’s “meat.” Goats qualify as both with them.

  • Gregor Eisenstein

    Maybe they were made into…Afghans?

    • Arttie the Deplorable

      Someone is bound to hound you for that. Not me.

  • The Masked Avatar

    Did someone say, cashmere?

  • JosephBloughs ✓Viagrafied

    See what they do with a little goat deal in one of the most backwards parts of the world. Just imagine what they’ll accomplish with the largest free market economy in the world!

  • hoodaticus ✓ᴮᴬᴺᴺᴼᴺ

    Maybe the Italian mafia didn’t want such prizes eaten and stole them back?

  • mathewsjw

    it was to fight Global Warming / Climate Change just like Obama Ordered.. Damn It

  • Grumpy

    It’s The Ugly American Phenomenon. Instead of trying to teach the locals to do what works somewhere else for somebody else, you give them better tools to do what they’re already doing.

    Since, you know, what they’re doing is what works for them….

  • Chance Boudreaux

    Just because their culture allows taking goats as lovers doesn’t mean we should judge them.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Historical materialism delusions lead to lots of wasted public funds.

    Oh yeah, give them goats from Italy. That explains the Renaissance and stuff. Guns, germs, steel, goats and so forth.

    Lest you presume I merely jest:

    • objectivefactsmatter

      Maybe it’s guns, germs, and steal the goats?

  • TugboatPhil

    Two things concerning the feds & goats.

    The Navy used to maintain a small herd of goats to keep the weeds down around Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach. I know this because there was a billet for a couple of guys to have shore duty as a goat tender. I shiite you not. I knew a guy who had done it, and had a shot at getting the job myself, but it got filled before I did it.

    For those of you who had high tech jobs in the Navy, this was what Bos’n Mates had to choose from for shore duty. I also saw a list of Navy rates and related civilian occupations, by DOT code numbers. The first choice for Bos’n Mate was Animal Caretaker. If you ever spent time in the deck force you understand this.

    Second thing, in between the two bases the Navy had in Sigonella, Sicily, there were herds of animals we called “Geeps.” I’m not sure if that’s a real title, but they were supposed to be a cross between a goat and a sheep. They were the ugliest critters and the wool(?) looked like shredded, filthy burlap. If the feds were going to try a program like this, they should have sent Geeps to try it out. Oh yeah, any trip between the two bases would almost always include waiting for 5 or 10 minutes while a bunch of them blocked the road.

    • nc ✓s & balances

      Gee, to think, you came THIS close to being Goat Tender Phil.

      • TugboatPhil

        I went to instructor duty instead and it was much more beneficial for making the next rank, but on days when it really sucked, I often said, “I coulda been tending goats today!”

  • wharfrat

    Obama is no leader so the Generals think they can do stupid things like send Goats to Afghanistan at a cast of $6 Million and nothing will be said,they should be made to pay it back and then given a Dishonorable Discharge, there are Millions of Goats there and the ignorant natives like White Goats,they taste better than the Black ones.

    • Brown Bear Mike

      All together, now …



  • pit snipe usn

    Dirty deeds done with sheep.

    • Suzyqpie

      Muslims have a new use for sheep.

      • algonquinmatt

        boom. well played, Suzy

  • docflash9

    There is an old GI saying about these type missions. When things didn’t go right the planners would panic and try new fixes. Some lower enlisted would say,Your F’n this goat,I’m just holding it’s legs.

  • BorderLine Guy

    How many of those mocking Senators knew of this program in advance and gave it a thumbs up?

  • Meowbius

    I thought it was at least 72 blond virg.. erm goats and the tribe chief used them to recruit freedom fighters. Them might’ve strayed into the poppy fields, though, and started their own hippie colony.

  • CoastalMaineBird

    Lila Randall : US military loses $6 billion on cashmere goat project
    There *IS* a difference between million and billion, you know that don’t you ?


    • freeinaz

      Must have been thinking about that $6 BILLION Hillary lost while she was head of the State Dept.

  • globalcrap

    6 million dollar goats, did all the O Bogus goats have “Gold Teeth?

    • AZWarrior

      They must of have full coverage grills and diamond studs in their ears.

    • Gregor Eisenstein

      Well, they had the technology, they could rebuild them.

    • inveniam

      Maybe they were bionic goats…

  • inveniam

    I beleive these “programs” are not programs. They are pay offs with a thin viel of ligitimacy.

    • The_Kat ✓vilified

      I was thinking the same thing. The money wasn’t “lost” it just passed hands along with a few goats.

      I hate to break it to folks but this type of insane spending is only the tip of the federal iceberg. This type of waste goes on each year and of course the MSM never reports it.

      • Suzyqpie

        We will soon be getting the annual stories of IRS checks flooding out for fraudulent tax filings. I speculate that the lions share of fraud in our government, is perpetrated by insiders, who better to rip off the system that insiders with knowledge of the systems weakness. Software would solve some of the problems. The software is never installed because the person with the authority to install it is financially served by its absence.

        • freeinaz

          You cannot be serious thinking there’s corruption and skimming being done by our own government officials. /S

        • Stephen K

          And then we get the standard excuse that the software just won’t work on the poor, penniless fedgov’s “antiquated” computers and networks, so naturally we need to throw them a few hundred billion more dollars to “upgrade” it.

  • MarciaTheMurkyMuse🌠 Variegated

    Think of the lucky Afghanis and their new love interest. Maybe there’s a reason that their progeny would be called “kids.”

    • Prairie Sarah

      Maybe in a few generations the violent/terrorist tendencies will be bred out of the Afghanis. Goats have to be pacifists. Have your ever known a vegan who’s hawkish? And the remaining violent progeny might be tempted to eat their IEDs like their forebears (foregoats) who tended to eat tin cans.

      • MarciaTheMurkyMuse🌠 Variegated

        Great thinking! Off-hand, I can think of only one violent strain, exemplified by the American subset of the Ringo Kid, Jim the Waco Kid, and of course the most goatish of them all, Billy the Kid. So you may well be on to something.

  • D H

    More goats in Afghanistan? No wonder the Afghani men are happier

  • John Hitchcock

    Under Obama,

    NASA quit flying space shuttles and started playing pattycake with Mohammedans

    The Pentagon quit working on how best to prosecute a war and started farming sex-animals and setting up lemonade stands

    • Stephen K

      Don’t forget the $43 million alternative fuel gas stations, which were built despite the fact that it costs more to convert a car from gasoline to compressed natural gas than the average Afghani makes in a year.

  • Suck It Up Buttercups

    Now we know why ISIS moved into Afghanistan!

    Beautiful Italian goats ready willing and able.

    Better than 72 virgins.

  • freeinaz

    One thing Trump is right about – our leaders are STUPID

  • Ms.rainman

    I think we need a few cartoon pictures instructing Afghani men that just because a beautiful Italian blond goat lets you strip her fur, she doesn’t want to be raped.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    This kind of thing harkens back to the golden hammer and $500 screw stories about the worst of military spending waste. So when responsible Repubs cut military spending when they are trying to rein this stuff in, they are often hit with “they don’t support the military” (looking at you, Marco).

    This stuff has to stop. How can we expect the allocation of the real funding that is needed when this is going on?

    • Russ

      I recall hearing about a $400 toilet seat, too.

    • swg

      they weren’t just hammers. They were multi-directional impact generators.

  • Arttie the Deplorable

    PETG – people eating tasty goats

  • BigTBoom

    Running astray in Afghanistan screaming “goat help us”…

  • James D

    The goats aren’t missing, they were just married off.

  • Jeff Henderson ✓Bona Fide

    What’s with that red dot?

  • Benji0804

    That’s nothing, they spent $8 billion in 14 years on war on poppy fields and now it’s
    a booming billion dollar business.
    At some point we are going to admit it was pointless to help that or any Islamic country.

  • rogleecam

    All thait hair gibs them jihadis sumpin ta hang on to.

  • Jeff Henderson ✓Bona Fide

    In Afghanistan – what is the difference between a goat and a mailbox?

    .xobliam a tae ot yaw eno ylno si erehT

  • Marvin Nelson

    Nine new girlfriends for the ISIS animals. I feel sorry for the poor goats.

  • CombatDiver

    Great, there is going to be a bunch of pregnant goats with babies named Mohammed throughout Afghanistan now.

  • Jeff Henderson ✓Bona Fide

    Read the article and find out all nine goats were male. How did they expect this to be sustainable?

    • Rick Owen

      Maybe the guys running the program were the kind of guys who like guys. Or goats.

  • FedUpWithWelfareStates

    Yea, lets do some more nation building, after all, it has worked out so well every place that it has been tried…IDIOTS!

  • Lemonhead

    And the feds want more of are money,they take in over a trillion dollars from us each year and that’s still not enough,a trillion dollars that’s more grains of sand on every beach in the world.

  • Dan Cochran


  • Jerry Shelton

    okay which dem made money on goat futures?

  • Summerwarmth

    Did anyone think to put chips in the goats? Cy, I was thinking the same thing but more like blonde goats installed in the leading clerics harams. No special goats for the rank and file.

  • Adam Wood

    The men who stare at goats that are no longer there.

  • lCOYAR

    I was going to make a joke here, but then I figured that it would be way too easy.

    But you could easily imagine the one I was going to say.

  • J-

    For the amount of money spent and wasted in Afghanistan, we should have just built a giant, airtight, dome over the country, and not let anyone or anything in our out for the next 100 years. That would have been far better for everyone.

  • Mary Mommy Happy 2017!

    We need to hire this guy to solve the case.

  • Girl who talks with her claws
  • James ‘Jim’ Osborne

    “How Goats Helped The US Waste Millions…???” Blaming the fucking goats???

  • Mike

    Hope and change, baby!

  • socalcon

    They pulled a Bergdahl…should promote them, too

  • I. M. Deplorable

    Has anyone looked into the possibility of a chupa cabra? Just saying …

  • Jerry Shelton

    First of all, the goats only cost a couple thou apiece. The rest was for lipstick.

    It not the initial cost that gets you, its the paint and powder over the years that add up.