Sure, games played in the snow are entertaining, but wouldn’t using artificial snow be cheating? Not to Michael Moore, who’s sold on the idea of a field of the white stuff for every game — for safety’s sake.

Of course, changing football to snowball will require a few adjustments to the rules.

Anyone have a better idea for improving the entertainment value of the NFL?

  • Clayton Grant

    MM could just brush the dandruff off of his broad shoulders for every game.

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Or donate some of the blow he’s obviously using.

  • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

    What a great idea, dude! How many snow makers you reckon it’d take for 8″ of powder in Texas next September? Moron.

    • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Anywhere in the league, for that matter (see my post). And you’d have to turn Ford Field into a giant icebox, avoiding which, was kinda the reason they built it– has he thought this whole thing through? Naw.

  • Maxx

    We disagree. Throwing snowballs at Adrian Peterson wouldn’t be half as much fun with artificial snow.

    Raven fans

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Throwing snowballs at JJ Watt will get you flattened.

      Every quarterback in the NFL

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      I’d rather play in REAL SNOW! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • DwellsInFire

    Artificial grass and artificial snow? Those have got to add to global warming. I’m not sure how, but Al Gore will figure it out somehow. One less lawn of grass to convert CO2 to Oxygen or something.

    • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      The snowblowers would need to be powered by “clean green” ethanol, I guess– a biofuel which raises the price of corn throughout the world, and contributes to hunger. Not to mention that the subsidies for it are a purely parochial concern in Iowa, which distorts the vote in the caucuses and has way too much bearing on who the next President will be.

  • LegalizeShemp

    “Sorry Mike, we couldn’t afford the frostbite and chilblain lawsuits.” Sincerely, The NFL

  • Ridiculously_Photogenic_Guy

    Michael Moore needs to account for his whereabouts at the time Jimmy Hoffa disappeared. I think he ate him.

    • CatHerder ✓fire! ✓fire!

      Whole. One gulp.

      • Mead

        A Big Gulp, one might say

  • JD

    You would expect the maker of artificial documentaries to be up on artificial grass and artificial snow

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    Well, in September, the problem would be keeping it there for the whole game, in 70-odd degree weather, for a start… but we appreciate your interest and your suggestions, Porky. Keep them coming… or better still, just keep them.

  • waterytart

    Still not gonna make you look thinner big boy. And, I’m old enough to remember, that’s what football USED TO look like. Rain, snow, mud, you name it. Now, aritificial turf with millionaires in bubble wrap.

  • BoscoBolt

    “Fake snow” is made of petroleum-based plastic. Why does Michael Moore hate the environment?

    • Thomas, Snarkmaster General

      Maybe he still has stock in Halliburton?

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Carbon in the air, pollution on the ground, for the NFL? In the name of Playing “Safe?” Gee, Thanx, Mikey…NOT!!!! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Brian Roastbeef

    Aww. Look at it. It thinks it’s one of the guys.

    Not buying it Mike. You never flip off of Food Network. “Pigskin” doesn’t refer to the tastiest part of the pork chop.

  • Agent Carmichael they can start blaming us all for man made global freezing!

  • Fhalkyn Phoenix

    Big ideas from the man who’ll never have to be subject to them!

  • Thom Harris

    I have a recommendation for Michael Moore…lots of artificial sweetener

    • ObamaFail

      Or trade up his greasy, fattening food for some fruits and vegetables.

  • Thomas, Snarkmaster General

    I have a better idea, Mikey. Maybe you can take off that ugly mask you’re wearing.

    Wait…I was just handed a note…that’s his real face?

  • VerminMcCann

    …and then they could smear fryer fat all over everything nom nom nom and I could wear one of those beer hats filled with ranch dressing and nom nom nom football is evil nom nom and socialism.

  • Jon

    I think the big news here is Michael Moore watches American football. I kind of pegged him as a European football type of guy, since that’s the proper attitude for the bi-coastal trendies.

    • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      N-a-a-h-h-h, he wouldn’t like futbol, because he could never play it. You have to be fit and be able to run up to fifty yards at a time, back and forth, with the run of the play, about twenty-some times, then you get ten minutes to sit down, and then you do it all over again.

      He’d like the NFL version of football much better, because he possibly could play offensive line. Not much running, and you’re sitting on the bench half the time. And if anyone could be said to epitomize “offensive,” it would have to be Michael Moore, right?

  • Richard Jefferies

    “Head hits snow, no concussion.”

    Not that it isn’t obvious, but Mr. Moore obviously didn’t spend much time skiing in Michigan. Must be because he thinks its the sport of the man. Head hitting snow can very much equal concussion.

  • John Abbott

    i agree with the fat bass turd.

  • rssllue

    He has solved the concussion problem! He is so smart. I am glad that he has thought about the impact of the players when they hit each other to go along with hitting the ground as well. I guess wrap them in giant marshmallow bags to lessen the human confrontation impact as well would be the best solution.

  • Right Wired ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    The king of the snow job wants artificial snow at football games. Imagine that.

  • missyree68

    Maladjusted, Malcontent. Evil, nasty trifling, hard on the eyes and ears everyday Hollyweird liberal. Who cares about this buffoon. Blah!, blah!, blah!