The government-run Affordable Turkey Act? How does that work?

  • Scree El Tort

    Sorry Pat, but your turkey has been determined to be substandard. The replacement turkey will be anywhere from 100-400% more costly, and you have to give most of the stuffing and other sides back before you can eat any of it.

  • WisconsinPatriot

    Priceless…….Or 521.60, this is govt after all!

  • JeffWRidge

    Everybody is required to sign up for this, or be fined a percentage of their lunch money. The law forces taxpayers to pay upwards of 400% more for their Thanksgiving dinner than normal, and everyone is compelled to purchase sides they don’t like and won’t eat, so that part of the population can get low cost turkey loaf served in a condom.

  • HanaFiveO

    Thanks Twitchy, needed a good LOL. Pat and company delivers every time!

  • Joe W.

    And if you like your turkey…you get chicken…..

  • therealguyfaux ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    While the Government claims to be mindful of the ethical conscientious objections of vegetarians who will not actually want to participate, nevertheless they will still be required to do so, as it is only by having all participate that this program has any chance of actually succeeding.

  • WhoMeToo

    I don’t know about the ==> ATA (Affordable Turkey Act), But I found an

    UN-Affordable Turkey ==>

    • stellatruman

      Obama…throwing like a girl is an insult to 7 year old girls with polly pockets in their fists

  • OLLPOH ~ OurLifeLiberty

    Giblets. Mr. Sajak.
    Thanksgiving is eaten between 2 adults is 1- Marie Callendars frozen 13 oz. honey roasted turkey breast frozen dinner, total of 350 calories / 175 calories

  • DaMello ®

    Gimme Gubmint Cheese…!

    • Slam1263

      Whilst Govt Cheese will plug you up, but good.

      It does make great Nacho cheese sauce.

  • LegalizeShemp

    And don’t forget, your Affordable Turkey Act comes with all the “fixins”.

    • Slam1263

      Especially the stuffing.
      Especially in the end that normally gets stuffed.

  • nc ✓s & balances

    Your turkey and all federally mandated side dishes (but NO DESSERT, IT’S NOT HEALTHY) will cost four times as much this year, you will have to buy three times as much as you need, you must drive twice as far to the only store that now carries said approved turkey and fixins, and once you get everything and prepare it, someone will be by to collect it “for the needy.” Happy Thanksgiving!

  • Terry_Jim

    A reminder , to appease Iranian islamofascists
    Ham is considered a ‘crap’ Thanksgiving food,
    and may not be substituted for under the #ATA

  • Terry_Jim

    Sajak’s Twitter is full of gems.
    “New deadline for ACA website fix: November 31”
    “From Nobel Peace Prize to ACA. The Benjamin Button presidency.”

  • George Allegro

    Knowledge is power. Spread yours:

  • Liberalism is Nonsense

    Citizens: Knowledge is the best antidote against the superstitions and illusions of the totalitarians in our midst:

  • Bluto ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ᵈᴿᵘᴺᵏᵃᴿᵈ

    My Turkey was deemed substandard.
    Just got the notice today from my Thanksgiving Auditor.
    Now I won’t have any Turkey on Thursday as the deadline to sign up for my Bronze Turkey Plan was last September.
    Cancelling Thanksgiving now & planning to spend my $2,500 Obamacare savings on Christmas.
    Hope my tree isn’t substandard too.