We’re not sure what inspired him, but comedian Patton Oswalt is setting up the straw men and knocking ’em down today, and he doesn’t care how many redneck white supremacist followers he loses.

And that concludes the “funny” bit.

Is this still part of the bit?

Sorry, “clumsy change” deniers, you’re not off the hook either. You’re probably pro-rape anyway.

Yeah, that “Harriet Tubman sex tape” that right-wing redneck nut job Russell Simmons posted was appalling. And rape is no laughing matter — but if you don’t find rape jokes funny, you’re probably a “self-aggrandizing, idiotic blogger,” right?

Tolerance, guys.

We’re guessing there’s more to come — maybe even a co-hosting gig with Alec Baldwin on MSNBC.

* * *

Update:

Can you imagine the effect this Twitter rant will have on his career in the entertainment industry? Patton Oswalt don’t care. Clever followers will be able to read between the tweets, so to speak.

Nice splitting of all those tweets, Patton. We see what you did there.

  • ObamaFail

    This loser needs to grow up. He is so pathetic. He admitted to being anti-Semitic, he admits to wanting segregation, he admits to approving of rape, he admits to approving pedophiles.

    What a sick freak. We are seeing true liberalism on display. And I don’t care if any of what he says he was saying sarcastically. Like any Conservative celebrity would get the benefit of the doubt if they went off like this. They’d be labeled for the rest of their career if they said anything even half as bad as this.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      He’s just steppin’ to the liberal drum. Needs work, attention, whatever. and he does have that creepy ass pedophile look to him…i wouldn’t leave my kids alone in a room with him, that”s for sure.

    • Defenestrator

      Oh my god… I love the fact that you utterly and completely missed what just happened. If you’re joking then please don’t tell me.

    • EverTheGreen

      Follow the tweet from start to finish (take everything then cut-and-paste into one or two paragraphs) and you will see that you got this COMPLETELY wrong.

    • tinmantoo

      Oh Gary. Your stupidity is a genuine a work of art. Carry on my good man.

    • Mark Hurley

      Way to miss the joke. They weren’t jokes about rape, segregation, or pedophiles, They were jokes about how stupid conservatives are, and you fell right into it. They were hyper-intelligent nods to how people fall for straw-man arguments, cleverly disguised so that people would THINK he was talking about those things. Patton is this generation’s greatest comedian.

      • WilliamAmos

        So Patton was being offensive to make a point ? I think the joke is on Huffington Post for believing that he had a point.

        • tinmantoo

          I’m pretty sure that moderators are supposed to have a clue. William, seriously.

        • Mark Hurley

          Exactly. He was pointing out how many of us choose outrage as our default position, without looking into context first. If you looked at the full statement, it wasn’t offensive at all, it was a reasonable statement any of us would have made. Too often, situations are deliberately presented in a way that pisses us off, usually by orgs such as Fox News, who wants people to get angry, playing on their willful ignorance. By getting angry, you are exemplifying his point, proving him right. You are outraged, but why? Each of those statements, taken in full, is innocuous. But in a world where 140 Characters (or Fox News headlines) are all we have the patience to pay attention to, we are all victims of our own predilections toward outrage and intellectual laziness.

    • f.rod123

      If you dont believe in.gay marriage, then dont get gay married. Freedom, thats what this country was built on. I dont believe the government should have any role whatsoever in who a person loves.

    • Ashley Williams

      ..Can you not read?

    • Philipp Ahrend

      wow you are insanely stupid. These tweets were deliberately split so the second part would be out of context and look like he had some really terrible views. I you can’t understand that, get off the Internet.

    • rynoth25

      The thing I can’t stand about this comment is I can’t tell if I’m being trolled or not because I don’t want to believe people this out of touch exist not only on internet forums but also in our government.

    • anitagjen

      you are too funny. Did you ever hear of “sarcasm”?

    • anitagjen

      you are too funny. Did you ever hear of “sarcasm”?

    • Guest

      Something tells me Gary Freeman doesn’t get it. If you’re offended, you might be an idiot because there’s not anything offensive there. Except maybe for the Fox News thing. But that’s not exactly fair because Fox News would never act like…..

      Racism is a good thing, right?

    • Renny

      2 followers? I call you lib troll.

    • Charlie

      Wow…. right over your head. Did you not see the split Twitter posts or something?

    • Charlie

      Wow…. right over your head. Did you not see the split Twitter posts or something?

  • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

    So, like…works been a little tuff to find for ya? This should help…douche.

    • EverTheGreen

      Try again, oh bird who cannot fly or avoid seals. Follow the tweet from start to finish (take everything from each tweet, and then cut-and-paste into one or two paragraphs) and you will see that you got this COMPLETELY wrong.

  • rippersnort

    Loser – oh wait – nope still a LOSER…

  • syvyn11

    Okay, after half way though, Oswalt went off the rails. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

    It’s like he read the Media Matters Hate Book and took it word for word.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      He’s a douche.

      • syvyn11

        Just a ‘douche’? I was thinking another part of the body, like a A$$Hole.

        • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

          That too.

          • ObamaFail

            Let’s not forget that he just proved that he’s a huge, raging, Viagra-induced prick.

          • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

            Acknowledged.

          • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

            Viagra induced? uh…gross!

          • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

            Viagra induced? uh…gross!

        • trixiewoobeans

          Poisonous little troglodyte?

          Hypocritical little Hosehead?
          Rumpledforeskin?

          • wwbdinct

            Tom DumbThumb?

          • trixiewoobeans

            Patton Poindexter?

          • trixiewoobeans

            Patton Poindexter?

          • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

            Rumpledforeskin! oh.my.God! And I thought Bridge Troll was funny. Madam I salute you.

          • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

            Rumpledforeskin! oh.my.God! And I thought Bridge Troll was funny. Madam I salute you.

          • DianaFeb

            LOL, nice.

      • trixiewoobeans

        He’s a walking, talking Brain Clot!

        • trixiewoobeans

          Who down-votes! Lol!

          • Spiny Norman

            Someone has “down-twinkled” almost every comment on every thread today.

            That’ll show us…

          • trixiewoobeans

            I always consider it a badge of honor, lol!

          • Spiny Norman

            Someone has “down-twinkled” almost every comment on every thread today.

            That’ll show us…

        • trixiewoobeans

          Who down-votes! Lol!

      • trixiewoobeans

        He’s a walking, talking Brain Clot!

  • Love of Country

    Hey Patton …. just read your tweet about your “segregated laundry” reminding you of conservatives …

    It was the DNC who invented segregation while the GOP ended it even as JFK, LBJ, Al Gore Sr and many others unsuccessfully filibustered, mkay?

    • ObamaFail

      Let’s also not forget how many of today’s Dems had daddy’s running around in white hoods in the 60’s. Hell, Harry Reid is old enough that I bet he lit his fair share of crosses in black people’s front lawns back in the day.

      • Randall Silverman

        How’d he find the time what with all the pederasty that he was and is alleged to have engaged in, a point which he still hasn’t refuted.

      • Randall Silverman

        How’d he find the time what with all the pederasty that he was and is alleged to have engaged in, a point which he still hasn’t refuted.

  • Michelle

    I’m pretty sure lots of folks don’t deny “clumsy change” since it’s been residing in the White House for the past 4.5 yrs with 3.5 more to go!

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      “clumsy change”…dig it!

  • Michelle

    Did he really just equate the repeal of outdated voting laws with the murder of 10M human beings?

    • syvyn11

      Yes he did. I never found this hump funny anyway.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Uh yup. He did.

    • ObamaFail

      Making extreme claims is the only real defense liberals have anymore. Because obviously the facts don’t support their claims, so they have to find a way to scare people into their way of thinking. Like how that one Democrat moron said that literally millions of people would die if they weren’t allowed to raise taxes. Or they cater to the dumbest of the dumb. Example: Patton Oswald fans.

    • BAW

      Have I missed the “repeal” of some voting laws? All I know about is the SC saying the singling out of states for punitive treatment under the Voting Rights Act was no longer appropriate and therefore no longer applied. The law was not repealed (although I realize some on the left claim it was) but is there some actual “repeal” of something I missed?

      • Michelle

        No, you haven’t missed a thing! I simply use the word for a law that has been struck down, invalidated or reversed. But I get splitting hairs and using the exactly correct words is important. You’re right, for the sake of exact accuracy I should have worded my sentence as, “Did he really just equate outdated voting laws that were invalidated and no longer applicable with the murder of 10M human beings?” I’m guilty of focusing more on getting my CORRECT point across and less on using the exact CORRECT words. Forgive me?

        • BAW

          I really wasn’t splitting hairs or picking nits either. I was seriously checking to be sure.

          I don’t want to go off on someone for being an idiot and falsely claiming the law was repealed when in fact the law was simply made to apply to all 50 states equally, if there had been some voting law repealed somewhere and I missed it. Forgive me?

          • Michelle

            I get it now and it’s all good. I was just in a crappy mood earlier over the post about Beckel’s 9/11 comment and had a bit of misdirected pissy attitude toward you. We’re both clear now on what the other meant. Have a great day :-)

          • BAW

            I had actually read your comment and suspected you might be in a bit of an understandable mood. Which is fortunate since I can get fairly snarky myself. But no harm, no foul.

          • Michelle

            I see in addition to my misdirected crappy attitude, I see failed to apologize for how I responded to you. I am sorry I was pissy toward you, you didn’t deserve that.

          • BAW

            Really, absolutely no need for an apology. But thanks. Sometimes I call myself a ’60s lib,’ aka a modern day conservative. I’m been taking and delivering verbal abuse, in person, for decades and it’s never taken “a chunk off me.” A minor misunderstanding among “friends” merely serves to teach me to strive for more clarity. Or requires that I be willing to say, oops. That also works for me. I appreciate your passion and would not want to see you temper it for fear of some inadvertent offense.

          • BAW

            I had actually read your comment and suspected you might be in a bit of an understandable mood. Which is fortunate since I can get fairly snarky myself. But no harm, no foul.

          • Michelle

            I get it now and it’s all good. I was just in a crappy mood earlier over the post about Beckel’s 9/11 comment and had a bit of misdirected pissy attitude toward you. We’re both clear now on what the other meant. Have a great day :-)

        • LALinMN

          In light of the sweeping voter suppression laws now being passed in North Carolina, among others, you still think section 4 of the VRA was an “outdated voting law that was invalidated and no longer applicable”?

        • Snertly

          Great job illustrating a point of view that Oswald was mocking!

      • IBXNJ

        The Voting rights Act in general is still upheld,the SCOTUS said it needs to be updated and can’t use data over 50 years old

    • Snertly

      No, he made an extended joke. On one level, it’s pretty funny. On another, it’s like watching people who can’t do math wrestle with parenthesis.

  • Clayton Grant

    I think Oswalt has been stealing Hugo Schwyzer’s medications …

    • Spiny Norman

      I wonder if he’s drunk.

      • TocksNedlog

        I wonder if he’s ever NOT drunk.

    • Spiny Norman

      I wonder if he’s drunk.

  • BoscoBolt

    What?

  • syvyn11

    And that whole bit about ‘gay marriage’? What is wrong with us following the Word of God? (Romans I)

    That’s the problem with the world, you can’t believe what you want unless the Mob approves of it.

    • ObamaFail

      The only religion you are allowed to have without mockery from the fringe left is Islam. Which raises another point. Liberals are pro-gay marriage, but also pro-Islam. They talk about how hateful Christians are because they don’t support gay marriage. But they forget that Muslims would behead or stone gay people to death in their countries.

      According to liberal logic, simply disapproving is WAY worse than cutting someone’s head off.

      • southerntragedy

        I’ve been saying this for a long time. When Islam takes over the USA, they will be the 1st to go. Didya hear what just happened in Oklahoma? We refer to them as our Northern Texans. IWhat the heck just happened?

      • DianaFeb

        You know, I’ve noticed that as well. It’s kind of sickening. And, it kind of shows they’re not really what they claim.

      • calmtruth

        I know plenty of Christians that support gay marriage.

  • Maxwell

    I’m pretty sure when he was talking about separating whites and darks, he wasn’t talking about his laundry.

    • ObamaFail

      Liberals will defend his statement by claiming he was talking about laundry, but he obviously meant white people and black people.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Uh…yup.

    • Maxwell

      Also, if anyone gives in to the demands of NAMBLA… it will most likely be liberals.

      • ObamaFail

        This year was gay marriage (Which I’ve never had an issue with). Next year will be Liberals fighting for a man’s right to marry his dog or sister. Then in 2015, will be when liberals say that there’s nothing wrong with a man making love to a small child.

        • Maxwell

          Considering liberals love to follow everything Canada does, and there is a somewhat growing fight for pedophilia rights there, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened sooner.

          http://www.nationalreview.com/human-exceptionalism/337010/normalizing-pedophilia

          Excerpt from the article:
          Paedophiles may be wired differently. This is radical stuff. But
          there is a growing conviction, notably in Canada, that paedophilia
          should probably be classified as a distinct sexual orientation, like
          heterosexuality or homosexuality. Two eminent researchers testified to that effect to a Canadian parliamentary commission last year, and the Harvard Mental Health Letter of July 2010 stated baldly that paedophilia “is a sexual orientation” and therefore “unlikely to change”.

          • ObamaFail

            That’s messed up.

          • wwbdinct

            Well, isn’t that nice. My kids are 21 and 18 now. But you can be sure as hell, if pedophilia becomes “mainstream” like certain groups of people would like, I’d put a bullet through the head of anyone who EVER touched one of my grandchildren….

    • Ty in TX

      Noooooooooooo! You think?

    • Ty in TX

      Noooooooooooo! You think?

  • ObamaFail

    Patton will delete all of these and give some pathetic excuse in 3…2….1…..

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Or…he’ll just say he meant Republicans and all is cool.

  • logicrules

    I think it is safe to assume that someone pissed in his cornflakes this morning.

    I think it also safe to assume that this “man” doesn’t have a single acquaintance that hasn’t wanted to.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      “Man”…now that’s funny!

  • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

    Guys this is obviously just a parody and stuff of liberal douchebags, surely someone can’t be this stupid 😉

    • ObamaFail

      You’re a bigger man than I am. I’m unwilling to give a liberal that much credit.

      • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

        My tongue was firmly in cheek when I made that comment.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. As always dude. But definitely worthy of backlash…si?

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks. As always dude. But definitely worthy of backlash…si?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Someone CAN be that stupid, and you don’t have to call me Shirley.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Someone CAN be that stupid, and you don’t have to call me Shirley.

  • WhoMeToo

    Someone’s off their meds…. I won’t mention any names. I’ll just point
    ==> @pattonoswalt Because #tolerance or something.

  • Michelle

    I’ve witnessed meltdown temper tantrums by a 2 yr old that were more entertaining than this guy’s orchestrated and desperate attempt for attention. (Go ahead Patton and down vote this comment also. Are you under the impression we don’t know it’s you doing that?)

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Ha ha ha…no duh?

      • Michelle

        I think he thinks we’re stupid around here and we haven’t seen that nonsense before. (OK Patton – ready? 3…2…1…click down vote!)

        • Grandma HeadInjury

          You noticed too! LOL!

      • Michelle

        I think he thinks we’re stupid around here and we haven’t seen that nonsense before. (OK Patton – ready? 3…2…1…click down vote!)

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Ha ha ha…no duh?

    • hatsylady

      And some of those tantrums that 2 year olds have can be hilarious. Not so much for Patton Oswart.

    • hatsylady

      And some of those tantrums that 2 year olds have can be hilarious. Not so much for Patton Oswart.

  • Michelle

    I’ve witnessed meltdown temper tantrums by a 2 yr old that were more entertaining than this guy’s orchestrated and desperate attempt for attention. (Go ahead Patton and down vote this comment also. Are you under the impression we don’t know it’s you doing that?)

  • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

    The entitlement mentality has gotten so bad on the moronic left that even the President is telling everyone that

    • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

      Health insurance is a right.

      • ObamaFail

        He says health insurance is a right. Liberals claim that abortion is a right. But then the things that the Constitution actually labels a right, liberals want to infringe and say, “well, it’s not really written in stone is it?”

      • ObamaFail

        He says health insurance is a right. Liberals claim that abortion is a right. But then the things that the Constitution actually labels a right, liberals want to infringe and say, “well, it’s not really written in stone is it?”

        • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

          See a pattern here yo….

        • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

          See a pattern here yo….

        • Keith

          Logic would dictate that being born would be your 1st right in order to get the health insurance right after being born. But since most libs are morons (like oswalt) you cannot reason with them and apply logic to a discussion.

        • Keith

          Logic would dictate that being born would be your 1st right in order to get the health insurance right after being born. But since most libs are morons (like oswalt) you cannot reason with them and apply logic to a discussion.

    • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

      Health insurance is a right.

  • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

    The entitlement mentality has gotten so bad on the moronic left that even the President is telling everyone that

  • Keith

    Step away from the crack pipe FAT ASS!

  • Keith

    Step away from the crack pipe FAT ASS!

  • ObamaFail

    Did he really just call Fox News race-baiting corporate shills? Seriously?! Has he never watched MSNBC? Race-baiting is all they do over there. The only time race is brought up on Fox News is some whiny liberal trying to defend Obama, or whenever they are reporting on some race-baiting being done by some idiot on the fringe left.

  • ObamaFail

    Did he really just call Fox News race-baiting corporate shills? Seriously?! Has he never watched MSNBC? Race-baiting is all they do over there. The only time race is brought up on Fox News is some whiny liberal trying to defend Obama, or whenever they are reporting on some race-baiting being done by some idiot on the fringe left.

  • KansasGirl

    Loved that rant…especially telling us to “grow the f%*k up.
    Patton Oswalt, here’s my rant, you need to “grow”.

  • KansasGirl

    Loved that rant…especially telling us to “grow the f%*k up.
    Patton Oswalt, here’s my rant, you need to “grow”.

  • Guest

    When it comes to doing laundry, I firmly believe in using environment-friendly detergent and I ALSO believe whites and “darks” should be kept separate. Sorry if that sounds too “tree-huggy” to my conservative followers.

    Liberals believe in racial separation. Why else do we observe stark residential segregation in hard-core leftist cities? Even White liberals don’t want to live near blacks, despite their claims that they love black people and diversity.

    Saying that gay marriage is unconstitutional is as hateful & ignorant as saying all abortion should be illegal, no exceptions. Just go ahead and UNFOLLOW me, you right wing hate-mongers.

    Virtually no one advocates a 100% ban on abortion. Like a typical libtard, he doesn’t understand what his political opponents believe.

    Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that Hitler was absolutely right about the Jews. And I don’t care how many “white power” redneck followers I lose by Tweeting that.

    I’m so sick of these guilty White libtards going out of their way to show how “anti-racist” they are. They often try too hard, and it’s very revealing. Does he really believe that he had any significant number of ‘”white power” redneck followers’? Of course not. He’s just showing off. Of course, guilty Whites like Oswalt eschew diversity as much as any sane White person. That’s why he lives in Burbank, CA, which is almost 75% White, with few blacks.

    You think ANYONE should be able to buy a gun for ANY reason, you idiot? Well, why don’t we just Let NAMBLA members fuck anyone they want. Am I so crazy for wanting my kid to grow up in a safer world?

    Aside from making an apples-to-oranges comparison and the strawman attack that we believe that “ANYONE should be able to buy a gun”, this nut really things he’s cool and edgy for taking a 100% uncontroversial position on an issue: Everyone wants kinds to grow up in a safe world.

    These idiots who deny that clumsy change is real, and a pressing threat are no different from misogynists who claim that Women enjoy rape. Grow the fuck up, all of you.

    As with his claim about abortion, he’s showing that he’s stuck in the MSNBC bubble. Virtually no one denies climate change; it’s the anthropogenic contribution and its magnitude that is controversial, as well as the likely impacts of climate change. Who believes that women enjoy rape aside from rapist? He’s very brave for standing up to a vanishingly small percent of a percent of the population. He should take his own advice: GROW UP, LIBTARD!

    For you simpletons who see everything in “black” and “white”: if racism, misogyny, hatred and fear are BLACK, then My grandchildren had better be WHITE. And I mean PURE WHITE, or we’re not going to have a country anymore.

    Oswalt mindless ideology who has no self awareness. He is the quintessential liberal.

  • Guest

    When it comes to doing laundry, I firmly believe in using environment-friendly detergent and I ALSO believe whites and “darks” should be kept separate. Sorry if that sounds too “tree-huggy” to my conservative followers.

    Liberals believe in racial separation. Why else do we observe stark residential segregation in hard-core leftist cities? Even White liberals don’t want to live near blacks, despite their claims that they love black people and diversity.

    Saying that gay marriage is unconstitutional is as hateful & ignorant as saying all abortion should be illegal, no exceptions. Just go ahead and UNFOLLOW me, you right wing hate-mongers.

    Virtually no one advocates a 100% ban on abortion. Like a typical libtard, he doesn’t understand what his political opponents believe.

    Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that Hitler was absolutely right about the Jews. And I don’t care how many “white power” redneck followers I lose by Tweeting that.

    I’m so sick of these guilty White libtards going out of their way to show how “anti-racist” they are. They often try too hard, and it’s very revealing. Does he really believe that he had any significant number of ‘”white power” redneck followers’? Of course not. He’s just showing off. Of course, guilty Whites like Oswalt eschew diversity as much as any sane White person. That’s why he lives in Burbank, CA, which is almost 75% White, with few blacks.

    You think ANYONE should be able to buy a gun for ANY reason, you idiot? Well, why don’t we just Let NAMBLA members fuck anyone they want. Am I so crazy for wanting my kid to grow up in a safer world?

    Aside from making an apples-to-oranges comparison and the strawman attack that we believe that “ANYONE should be able to buy a gun”, this nut really things he’s cool and edgy for taking a 100% uncontroversial position on an issue: Everyone wants kinds to grow up in a safe world.

    These idiots who deny that clumsy change is real, and a pressing threat are no different from misogynists who claim that Women enjoy rape. Grow the fuck up, all of you.

    As with his claim about abortion, he’s showing that he’s stuck in the MSNBC bubble. Virtually no one denies climate change; it’s the anthropogenic contribution and its magnitude that is controversial, as well as the likely impacts of climate change. Who believes that women enjoy rape aside from rapist? He’s very brave for standing up to a vanishingly small percent of a percent of the population. He should take his own advice: GROW UP, LIBTARD!

    For you simpletons who see everything in “black” and “white”: if racism, misogyny, hatred and fear are BLACK, then My grandchildren had better be WHITE. And I mean PURE WHITE, or we’re not going to have a country anymore.

    Oswalt mindless ideology who has no self awareness. He is the quintessential liberal.

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    Die, @pattonoswalt. Seriously.

    You were a lot funnier when…oh wait…I was thinking of someone with talent. Carry on.

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    Die, @pattonoswalt. Seriously.

    You were a lot funnier when…oh wait…I was thinking of someone with talent. Carry on.

  • LinTaylor

    So…separating your light and dark clothing in the wash makes you racist? I…don’t even.

    Also, “Die, all of you. Seriously. #peace”. Someone get me a giant hand into which I can facepalm.

    I notice Mr. Oswalt assumed that anyone of a non-Left political leaning was following him in the first place; that’s quite the bold assertion. Then again, so is assuming he had any followers to begin with.

  • jaun456

    I thought that a-hole lesbian was retired. What a friggin mole looking butt munch puss!

  • jaun456

    I thought that a-hole lesbian was retired. What a friggin mole looking butt munch puss!

  • http://www.audreyrusso.com Audrey Russo

    Freakin’ WOW…he either needs to up his meds or stop ODing…and I used to think he was funny. I think he’s just incredibly pathetic now…

  • Steve_J

    I like the last tweet “Die, all of you. Seriously. #peace”.
    ————————————————-
    IMO, the only one who died in that string was Oswalt, whoever he is.

  • Steve_J

    I like the last tweet “Die, all of you. Seriously. #peace”.
    ————————————————-
    IMO, the only one who died in that string was Oswalt, whoever he is.

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    I’d like to welcome Patton to Twitchy as he seems to have just gone through the comments and provided that one downvote for the majority! LOL!

    Hi Patton!

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Oh, good! I was worried that I got missed by you for a minute there, Patton. Thanks for downvoting me. Can you get this one too? K, thanks.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Good job, Patsy. Now this one? That’d be awesome!

        • Grandma HeadInjury

          Just one more, Cupcake, for the kids? I can’t wait to tell them I got downvoted by a has-been actress!

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            That’s the spirit! You do realize that Gary Valentine was much funnier than you, don’t you?

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            And Victor Williams. Hell, you weren’t even on the same planet as that guy’s funny.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            And that Great Pyrenees being walked by Nicole Sullivan in S05E14? Yep. Funnier than you, Patsy.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            Seriously, weren’t they screen testing the Great Pyrenees to replace “Spence” since everyone hated that character anyway?

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            Geez, it had to hurt, being passed over for “Best Supporting Actress” Emmy…9 EFFING SEASONS IN A ROW!!!

          • wwbdinct

            Yes, I’ll be it did Patton.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            LOL! I had two downvotes in some cases. Wonder if Patton set up his mommy with a Disqus account?

          • wwbdinct

            Yes he was!

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    I’d like to welcome Patton to Twitchy as he seems to have just gone through the comments and provided that one downvote for the majority! LOL!

    Hi Patton!

  • NCRelite

    Wow Patton really demolished that caricature of a right wing wacko! Reminds me of Scrappy Doo

  • NCRelite

    Wow Patton really demolished that caricature of a right wing wacko! Reminds me of Scrappy Doo

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    I wonder if @yesnicksearcy can hook us up with a short vid of Patton Oswalt’s Justified character getting the crap beat out of him. You know, for science….

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    I wonder if @yesnicksearcy can hook us up with a short vid of Patton Oswalt’s Justified character getting the crap beat out of him. You know, for science….

  • anjullyn

    Wonder if his parents were disappointed after naming him Patton, who was a great general, and getting a whiny, prog. baby?

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      So not his namesake.Couldn’t hold his jock….Major Douche?

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      So not his namesake.Couldn’t hold his jock….Major Douche?

  • anjullyn

    Wonder if his parents were disappointed after naming him Patton, who was a great general, and getting a whiny, prog. baby?

  • Rape Culture Coterie

    Sorry, but I don’t even know who this POS is. Any help?

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      He played one of the girls from the sitcom King of Queens (I know. Ironic, huh?) and also played a pretty good character on Justified. Other than that…..fairly forgettable…

  • Garth Haycock

    This coming from a guy who has to masturbate in movies to get some.

  • Ntr

    What a failure at Twitter…the dumbufck could’ve at least written a blog post but i don’t think he’s (clearly) all that good with organizing his thoughts and words from the bubble of his mind that he lives within.

    His own white, liberal peers are the racists and race-baiters. And his tweets resemble nothing more than an empty, stunted mind having a temper tantrum. You can’t do anything more than laugh at this whiny nobody and move along.

    http://smhttp.14409.nexcesscdn.net/806D5E/wordpress-L/images/patton-oswalt-sad.jpg

    • Guest

      Wow, i feel special, i got two thumbs down as of this moment.

      • wwbdinct

        Patton used his two right thumbs for that!

  • wwbdinct

    Cleary he’s drunk tweeting. But it’s been my experience that those who spew like that when they are drunk, truly mean what they say deep down. “Hitler was right about the Jews”..Well, that’s what all the proggies believe, even the Jewish ones. NAMBLA – Hey Patton – that’s all on you!

  • BAW

    It’s rich for him to make the allegations he makes while demonstrating with his “fact-free clapt” how he needs to “grow …. up.”

    “You think ANYONE should be able to buy a gun for ANY reason, you idiot?”

    Who ever advocated, argued, voted for that? Before the first “gun law” was passed? When was that. Long before my time.

    Now free, unlimited, unrestricted, unregulated abortion, modern day examples, oh yeah.

  • MrApple

    “Neggers out of government? Yes, please! (Sorry for any misspelling)”
    If you are going to use the “N-word” to make a jab at the “right wing hate mongers” then at least have the balls to really use it as opposed to this ‘cutesy’ misspelling.

  • wwbdinct

    Patton you freak! You’re defending pedophilia and anti-semites! Way to raise a kid there sport. I’m calling my kid right now and telling her to unfollow you. She doesn’t take kindly to pedophiles…..

  • Tom James

    I don’t know much about him, but my unbiased first impression says that he seems like a real D-Bag.

    • wwbdinct

      If it’s a lefty, it’s a D-Bag. You can count on that.

  • TJ

    Whose Comedy Central Roast was he practicing for. You can laugh at those roasts but you have to check your voter registration card to know if you can laugh at the racist stuff and not be called a racist.

  • VerminMcCann

    This has to be a brilliant hack job. It’s just too perfect that his tweets include the phrases

    “whites and “darks” should be kept separate.”

    “Women enjoy rape.”

    “Eat the poor, disabled and hopeless.”

    “Rap is performed by monkeys in expensive clothes.”

    • trixiewoobeans

      Methinks these are his “private thoughts?”

    • Guest

      You may be right. It certainly is a peculiar rant.

    • Guest

      You may be right. It certainly is a peculiar rant.

    • Zach Smith

      It’s a silly joke. The second tweet of a 2 part message becomes inflammatory when read by itself.

      • VerminMcCann

        Yes, I understand that.

      • VerminMcCann

        Yes, I understand that.

    • Zach Smith

      It’s a silly joke. The second tweet of a 2 part message becomes inflammatory when read by itself.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Yawn.

    The social(ist) rich, left warriors.

    Patton Oswalt and Seth MacFarlane bash the sh!t out of Christians and the “right”.

    Why?

    Because it’s easy. And, for liberals (read your Ace people), easy = holy & holy = just.

    Wake me up Patton when one of you Hollywood/ Comic bad-a$$es of societal introspection take even the tiniest jab at Islam. Ya know? Gay hanging, woman stoning, honor killing, apostate murder?…(I can keep going)…How’ bout’ we just call it what it is. Butchery? Lets just call it that.

    Let me know when those jokes are coming.

    Let me know when you’re holding a sign for racial equality or for LGBT in a “peaceful protest” in that 1/3rd of the world.

    Tap America on the shoulder when that happens.

    We might even watch.

  • TTTCOTTH

    Who the fuck is Patton Oswalt

    • Mick_Pearson

      Google, it’s what’s for dinner.

      • Zach Smith

        It says “Beef”. Now what?

        • Mick_Pearson

          You missed the comma. Carry on.

          • Zach Smith

            Tried it with the comma. Same result.

          • Mick_Pearson

            Hell Zach, at the rate you’re going, you’re never going to find out who this Oswalt chap is.

          • Zach Smith

            That’s okay. I had a nice steak for dinner, and now I think I’ll just go to bed.

          • Mick_Pearson

            I won’t be hittin’ the sack anytime soon, we just returned from the Flaming Lips concert at the Maha Music Festival, and haven’t come down yet.

            Good morning Zach.

          • Chase C.

            Who the sh** is Patton Oswalt?

          • Chase C.

            Who the f*** is Patton Oswalt?

          • Zach Smith

            Tried it with the comma. Same result.

          • Guest

            And you missed the humor. Carry on.

          • Mick_Pearson

            Certainly hilarious, if I hadn’t used a comma.

          • Chase C.

            Who the fuc is Patton Oswalt?

          • Mick_Pearson

            Brave Sir Corey, posting a comment and running away.

            No, you never.

            My unreserved apologies to Monty Python.

          • Chase C.

            Who the fuk is Patton Oswalt?

          • Chase C.

            Who the eff is Patton Oswalt?

        • Mick_Pearson

          You missed the comma. Carry on.

        • SineWaveII

          LOL

      • Zach Smith

        It says “Beef”. Now what?

      • Chase C.

        Who the f is Patton Oswalt?

    • Mick_Pearson

      Google, it’s what’s for dinner.

  • Joe W.

    I have but 3 questions:

    1: Who is Patton Oswalt
    2. Why on earth would I care what he thought about anything?
    3. What reason could I possibly have for following him on Twitter?

    Buehler??…BUEHLER!?!?!!?

    • Mick_Pearson

      Who is Patton Oswalt?

      Check out the new kid in town everyone.

      • Chase C.

        Mick is his biggest/only fan clearly.

      • Joe W.

        Let me get this straight, Son. Just because I do not know who “Patton Oswalt” is, you take it upon yourself to mock and ridicule me?? Look at the post right below yours, Needlenose. And how about posters “nc” & IceColdTroll”, among others? Are we ALL “new kids on the block”?? I got news for you, ass breath. I am probably old enough to be your grandfather, although I would never claim the likes of you as such. I have traveled these here United States extensively, as well as the entire Western Hemisphere. As for you?? You probably have yet to extricate yourself far enough from the sanctity of your parent’s house and the bubble that is your television and social media vacuum. So, I will make the obvious statement in rebuttal to your moon bat drivel—“Check out the new ass clown in town, everyone!! His name is Mick. And he’s a little prick.”

        • Mick_Pearson

          I somehow manage to extricate myself from the basement every August, and ride to the Black Hills for Sturgis Bike Week.

          Well Gramps, gotta go, we’re road-tripping to see Glenn Danzig and the Misfits in concert. Toodles.

          • Joe W.

            And we’re supposed to be all impressed because little Mickey still rides a bike?? And is still heavily into punk rock and garbage like that?? When you grow up, sonny, maybe you can blog with the adults. Until then, enjoy your bide ride and drugs.

          • Mick_Pearson

            ‘Enjoy your bide ride and drugs.’
            Gramps, you are so adorable.

          • Joe W.

            Oh look!!! Princess Mickey gets all squishy by pointing our typos!! Did you get to take the training wheels off your bike for the big trip to Sturgis, sonny? Did ya’ wear those “mom jeans” like your preezy does?? Liberal pantywaist.

          • Mick_Pearson

            Gramps, you magnificent bastard, training wheels on a motorcycle would be hilarious. I gotta try this.

          • Joe W.

            Here ya. go, cupcake…..Thought this “My Little Pony” Harley would be a sweet ride for your candyass, Got room in the saddlebags for your gerbils & lube, too!!!

          • Mick_Pearson

            You’re the best grandpa evahhh!

  • Joe W.

    I have but 3 questions:

    1: Who is Patton Oswalt
    2. Why on earth would I care what he thought about anything?
    3. What reason could I possibly have for following him on Twitter?

    Buehler??…BUEHLER!?!?!!?

  • Zathras11 @B5

    Patton Oswalt is living proof that SOME people should have everything that they say scripted for them. The Kenyan Messiah is another.

  • Zathras11 @B5

    Patton Oswalt is living proof that SOME people should have everything that they say scripted for them. The Kenyan Messiah is another.

  • Benjamin Johnson

    Jesus, can’t liberals find hacks more entertaining than this fuckup to disseminate their bullshit? Or at least not as hideously ugly? Would be appreciated, thanks.

  • FaithColeridge33

    Again, they’re just so exhausting. We need Arthur Spooner to look at him and shout “HOW DARE YOU.” or to slip him one of his blue pills.

  • FaithColeridge33

    Again, they’re just so exhausting. We need Arthur Spooner to look at him and shout “HOW DARE YOU.” or to slip him one of his blue pills.

  • jamson64

    What an ugly ugly man.

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Man? So she’s got some guy running her Twitter for her?

  • jamson64

    What an ugly ugly man.

  • GingerbreadMan1

    Is this guy supposed to be a comedian?

    • TocksNedlog

      I know! Like, you’d think that actually possessing a sense of humor would be a requirement in his line of work; right?

  • GingerbreadMan1

    Is this guy supposed to be a comedian?

  • CasualMeyhem

    Forgot his meds?

    • Zach Smith

      I was thinking just the opposite.

    • Zach Smith

      I was thinking just the opposite.

  • CasualMeyhem

    Forgot his meds?

  • strat77

    Do the libtards really not see how THEY are always the first ones to bring up race?

    • http://yourdaddy.net/ NotaLemming

      And lets not forget the invocation of TOLERANCE while they cry about how much THEY HATE FOX NEWS. LOL what a bunch of Clowns… oh wait. I am a rodeo Clown.

    • http://yourdaddy.net/ NotaLemming

      And lets not forget the invocation of TOLERANCE while they cry about how much THEY HATE FOX NEWS. LOL what a bunch of Clowns… oh wait. I am a rodeo Clown.

    • TocksNedlog

      They don’t care, because they think that they’re justified in bringing it up.

  • strat77

    Do the libtards really not see how THEY are always the first ones to bring up race?

  • Tree Top flyer

    This loud mouth, “D list” midget, A-hole, alleged “actor”, needs to shut up, and try and find some one to hire his sorry keester!! I love these liberal morons, who get into show business and make a bundle of money on the backs of their fans, and then spit in there face! They make me want to vomit!! This wormy little parasite, should shut his liberal, communistic “Pie hole”, and maybe spend his time taking acting lessons!! Of course the better alternative is to go shoot yourself, you fat little Joy Bahar loving Troll! F.O.!!

  • Tree Top flyer

    This loud mouth, “D list” midget, A-hole, alleged “actor”, needs to shut up, and try and find some one to hire his sorry keester!! I love these liberal morons, who get into show business and make a bundle of money on the backs of their fans, and then spit in there face! They make me want to vomit!! This wormy little parasite, should shut his liberal, communistic “Pie hole”, and maybe spend his time taking acting lessons!! Of course the better alternative is to go shoot yourself, you fat little Joy Bahar loving Troll! F.O.!!

  • Zach Smith

    I get it. He is making multi-part tweets, such that the entirety sounds liberal, but one taken out of context sounds like a redneck stereotype.

  • Zach Smith

    I get it. He is making multi-part tweets, such that the entirety sounds liberal, but one taken out of context sounds like a redneck stereotype.

  • Dee

    Hold on a second..did he just say he had a kid? Who on earth would procreate with that troll?

  • Dee

    Hold on a second..did he just say he had a kid? Who on earth would procreate with that troll?

  • porgiefirefighter

    Patton, you have one sick sense of humor. I like you.

  • porgiefirefighter

    Patton, you have one sick sense of humor. I like you.

  • James Cushman

    Angry Frodo is angry.

  • James Cushman

    Angry Frodo is angry.

  • plaingolf

    Ok I’m not a Twitterer but who would want to follow this guy anyway?

  • plaingolf

    Ok I’m not a Twitterer but who would want to follow this guy anyway?

  • rivers

    Ha! I’ll bet a thousand bucks he has never said anything like he posts on twitter to an actual person’s face, the flabby little coward. Come to my house, you self important mental midget.

    (I wonder if he talks like that to the conservative guy who gave him a job on his sitcom all those years ago. )

  • rivers

    Ha! I’ll bet a thousand bucks he has never said anything like he posts on twitter to an actual person’s face, the flabby little coward. Come to my house, you self important mental midget.

    (I wonder if he talks like that to the conservative guy who gave him a job on his sitcom all those years ago. )

  • HARP2

    Put your panties back on Patton. Nobody wants to see your short comings.

  • HARP2

    Put your panties back on Patton. Nobody wants to see your short comings.

  • © Sponge

    Ah, I love the blithering of idiots in the morning.

  • © Sponge

    Ah, I love the blithering of idiots in the morning.

  • rivers

    I think he’s just bitter because of how ugly and fat he is, so he is trying to make himself feel superior to one half of the country (that he’s either not intellectually capable or honest enough to understand.) It’s not uncommon amongst comedians.

  • rivers

    I think he’s just bitter because of how ugly and fat he is, so he is trying to make himself feel superior to one half of the country (that he’s either not intellectually capable or honest enough to understand.) It’s not uncommon amongst comedians.

  • arttie

    Off our meds today, are we?

  • arttie

    Off our meds today, are we?

  • therealguyfaux

    Patton, one word– therapy. You may wish to enter rehab as well, after that obviously substance-fueled tirade, but therapy is a must.

    Do you want to become the male Amanda Bynes? Keep doing what you’re doing.

    Your dozens of fans implore you, do it now. Before you lose what little career you still had left.

    If it’s any consolation, PO (such appropriate initials!), you beat out Keith Olbermann for most irrelevant a$$-hat with a punchable face.

    • Mick_Pearson

      Oh pshaw, Steven ‘my face, your fist’ Crowder tops that list.

      • Chase C.

        Who the butthole is Patton Oswalt?

        • Mick_Pearson

          Is that you Zach?;)

          • Chase C.

            Who the f word is Patton Oswalt?

          • Mick_Pearson

            Beats me, son.

          • Chase C.

            It’s funny how you are the only left wing assclown defending this guy. I mean this is really low even for a liberal.

          • Mick_Pearson

            Tell me, how was I defending him?

  • therealguyfaux

    Patton, one word– therapy. You may wish to enter rehab as well, after that obviously substance-fueled tirade, but therapy is a must.

    Do you want to become the male Amanda Bynes? Keep doing what you’re doing.

    Your dozens of fans implore you, do it now. Before you lose what little career you still had left.

    If it’s any consolation, PO (such appropriate initials!), you beat out Keith Olbermann for most irrelevant a$$-hat with a punchable face.

  • George Washington Mclintock

    The lumpy little imbecile sure burned us with some righteous irony. “Neo-con stiffs, they didn’t spend hours and hours and hours absorbing the sub-textual lessons on tolerance embedded Star Wars like I did. They are so sad with their money, accomplishments, and morals. I’ll show them what true compassion is by combining vileness and irony!!!!!!” His dimwit fans may lap up his latest bit of recycled bile(“I was thinking being a normal American was too much effort, but this guys telling them off!! DERRP!!! I am edgy!!”),but it doesn’t change reality. He’s still stupid, unappealing, and the vast majority of the country would still rather be Derek Jeter, a Marine(like your Dad,Patton. The guy who you couldn’t be like, and thus, you became so very bitter), or a Goldman Sachs trader than be him. And that’s what drives him. He can’t be like us ,and it’s pretty obvious why, so he goes after us. Hope he saved some of that bile to irony down any of L.A’s street criminals that want to relieve him of his Hollywood gains. I’m sure he did because he cares so much about a safer world for his children.

  • George Washington Mclintock

    The lumpy little imbecile sure burned us with some righteous irony. “Neo-con stiffs, they didn’t spend hours and hours and hours absorbing the sub-textual lessons on tolerance embedded Star Wars like I did. They are so sad with their money, accomplishments, and morals. I’ll show them what true compassion is by combining vileness and irony!!!!!!” His dimwit fans may lap up his latest bit of recycled bile(“I was thinking being a normal American was too much effort, but this guys telling them off!! DERRP!!! I am edgy!!”),but it doesn’t change reality. He’s still stupid, unappealing, and the vast majority of the country would still rather be Derek Jeter, a Marine(like your Dad,Patton. The guy who you couldn’t be like, and thus, you became so very bitter), or a Goldman Sachs trader than be him. And that’s what drives him. He can’t be like us ,and it’s pretty obvious why, so he goes after us. Hope he saved some of that bile to irony down any of L.A’s street criminals that want to relieve him of his Hollywood gains. I’m sure he did because he cares so much about a safer world for his children.

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    Guess I am getin’ old here, another tirdface I’ve never heard of.

    • Mick_Pearson

      Oh Iced, you have a Stephen Stucker avatar, and have never heard of Patton Oswalt.

      Never change, you adorable little scamp.

      Mick Pearson, the artist formerly known as Stncmchnc.

      • Chase C.

        I’m with Iced on this. I recognized the fat face from the minor roles he had in movies/tv shows. But never could put a name to that face.

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    Guess I am getin’ old here, another tirdface I’ve never heard of.

  • Chimfish

    Now look at all his follower fans who think they’re in on some kind of inside joke for only the most intellectual of literary scholars for realizing that he split his sentences in half. What rare poetry!

    Also notice how, “I’m going to get off Twitter now” always seems to translate to, “I’m going to stick around and retweet people praising me for the next hour or so.”

  • Kleverabevera

    Woah! Heavy duty man. My mind is blown!

    Patton is like the M.C. Escher of tweeting. -sarc off.

  • Denise O’Connor

    Whew, glad he’s a lefty.

  • Barack Hussein Sharpton

    What a total brain fart.
    I don’t know why I spent the time to read all of that. It must have been for the train wreck effect.

  • Jack Deth

    Patton Oswalt: The epitome of a distraught Short Person suffering Short Person Syndrome and its attendant Angst.

  • Agent_Zeero

    It’s rather pathetic at what lengths this two-bit actors/pretend comedian will go to attempt to stay even marginally relevant even six years after “King of Queens” went off the air. I’m sorry you can’t get work, Oswald. Eh…actually, no I’m not

  • AtomicMountain

    Don’t worry, Oswald fans. He doesn’t really believe all that crap. He’s just campaigning for better secondary movie roles.

  • narciso

    You almost felt sorry, for him getting beat up as the goofy deputy on ‘Justified’ almost.

    • The Penguin #PublishThatSh*t

      Nope. Kinda thought they took it easy on him/her/it actually.

      • SineWaveII

        Yep, now it seems like Constable Bob had it coming even though that was a hard scene to watch.

  • jejily

    Scrolling through the comments, it’s clear that there is a troll with waaaaayyyy too much time on his hands, going through and marking every comment with a down vote.

    • Chimfish

      Some Krugman reader who doesn’t realize that once he downvotes every one of us then it’s a wash and he hasn’t changed anything.

    • HARP2

      His mommy ?

    • RedSoloCup

      Some troll who is a Patton Oswalt fanboy with no life… Mick_Pearson?

      • Mick_Pearson

        I never downvote, my little hombre.

  • SineWaveII

    Got tired of his career I guess.

  • Johara_Majnoona

    Guys….it really is just a giant joke. Look at where every single tweet is cut in half, its intentional to offend as many as possible. Being from Hollywood he’s more than likely liberal, and its not even that funny, but I don’t think this series of tweets is truly taking a side.

  • tops116

    Been a while since a C-list nitwit mouthed off and offered so much material to poke fun at.

    “whites and “darks” should be kept separate”

    Like the Democrats that came before you believed, right?

    “Saying that gay marriage is unconstitutional is as hateful & ignorant”

    Does that mean Democrats were being hateful and ignorant when they were opposing gay marriage… like eight years ago? Oh well, I guess they couldn’t be as tolerant as white conservative Dick Cheney, who is still to the left of Barack “I evolved” Obama on the issue.

    “you right wing hate-mongers”

    Good rule of thumb: don’t accuse of others being hate-mongers when you’re in the process of a rant that involves personal insults, assorted expletives and generally being hateful. I would think that would be obvious, but this is someone from the bowels of Hollywood we’re talking about here.

    “Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified,”

    Take it up with the Supreme Court. You might also wanna take it up with Eric Holder, whose attempt to play politics last year led to the Supreme Court case in the first place.

    “Hitler was absolutely right about the Jews.”

    I’m sorry. Was that supposed to be directed at the Right? ‘Cause last I checked, it was Obama that treats Israel like crap and it’s folks like Occupy that spout anti-Semitic garbage.

    “NAMBLA”

    I’m surprised anyone in Hollywood land would have a problem with NAMBLA, what with their eagerness to defend Roman Polanski and sign petitions on his behalf. But I guess Patton and so many other Hollywood nitwits only have a problem with the idea of children being raped and not with a 13-year-old actually being raped. Odd how the War on Women crowd never want to bring *that* up, huh?

    “These idiots who deny that clumsy change is real”

    Because fifteen years of it not getting warmer is proof of climate change; the same as when it snows in winter… or when the sun sets… or when it’s in the upper 80s in July.

    “no different from misogynists who claim that women enjoy rape”

    I defer once again to Hollywood’s infatuation with Polanski.

    “Grow the f*** up, all of you.”

    Take your own advice. You might also want to look into an excercise program and some lifts for your shoes so you don’t look like an extremely aged version of the fat kid from “The Goonies.”

    “Hollywood out of government”

    Last I checked, Fred Thompson imploded in the Republican primaries and the Right was glad when Arnold got out of politics. But I guess that somehow proves the Right wants them in politics and only wants other Hollywood people out of government. Hey, if Patton had any grasp of logic, he would’ve had a career instead of being known as “the guy that leeched off Kevin James.”

    “For you simpletons who see everything in “black” and “white””

    This from the guy who accuses every single conservative of being racist rape-supporters, among other nonsense. Oh right, “new tone.”

    “Our country’s worth isn’t in how many billionaires we produce or countries we conquer.”

    Guess that means you’ll be giving up your money, huh?

    “And I’m sorry, but I f***ing HATE FOX NEWS.”

    Probably because there are more black people on FOX than there are on MSNBC.

    “Bunch of race-baiting corporate shills.”

    That’s pretty funny coming from a guy who was on a CBS show for a number of years. Who do you think paid that show’s bills? Who do you think pays the bills of any mainstream show or movie? Hell, Hollywood is in itself a corporation. Funny how the self-righteous entertainment crowd always seem to forget that. Oh right, they’re the 99%.

    “All of their medieval, fact-free claptrap is performed by monkeys in expensive clothes.”

    Ah, an accusation with absolutely no proof to back it up. Yup, a liberal. By the way, I wouldn’t be accusing anyone else of being an animal, Patton. You make your career off recycling the same old dialogue and reacting to audience response. So-called entertainers like yourself are basically trained seals, except an actual seal won’t cop a prima donna attitude over some petty reason.

    “Sorry if I offended you, white conservatives, but it’s the truth.”

    Whatever you say, white liberal with more money than me.

    “Gonna hop off Twitter for awhile.”

    In other words, “I just mouthed off and am gonna go hide so I don’t have to deal with the fallout.” Again, typical Hollywood nitwit.

  • Richard Jefferies

    His Twitter was hacked. Has to be. Nobody can be that stupid. You’re a slimy little worm Oswalt. Grandchildren, you planning on adopting? Who is going to want to bear those children.

  • SineWaveII

    He should be careful. He can be replaced you know.

    io9.com/robot-comedian-does-a-standup-routine-and-reacts-to-the-1160115778

  • InformedNow

    He couldn’t make it as a ‘Wedding Planner’ from Northern Virginia, but I see he’s a success at being an asz!

  • Neil Leininger

    Can’t wait to see what happens on the set of Justified when Oswalt sits down with his 1st reading with Nick Searcy. That should be glorious.

  • Guest

    You think he would go against his comedy brother Tracy Morgan who said if my son was gay ill kill him

  • TocksNedlog

    “All of their [FOXNews] medieval, fact-free claptRap is performed by monkeys in expensive clothes.”
    — Are you including Harris Faulkner and Juan Williams and Arthel Neville in this? RACIST!!!

    • HWarrior13

      Don’t forget Mr Kelly Wright…one of my personal favs.

  • Rob

    Clown nose on; clown nose off.
    Rinse, dry, repeat.

    • TocksNedlog

      WHEN does he take it off?

  • nc

    Gosh, I’m late to this party, so I probably will miss getting down-voted. Darn! Well, I never heard of this lunatic, but I know for sure if I ever went on a public rant/meltdown half as outrageous as this, I would have been fired from any job I had and probably sent to rehab.

    • TocksNedlog

      He’s a stand-up comedian.

      Kinda hard to get fired when by definition you don’t really have a ‘job’.

    • MNWoman

      Isn’t it neat how liberals get a free pass? Of course, liberals will eat all this stuff up and consider him an advocate for love and tolerance.

      And as for being late to the party, I am aslo late to this party and missing getting down-voted, I will vote down so you can feel included 😉

      • nc

        Thanks so much, MNW, but it turns out it wasn’t necessary!

    • MNWoman

      Another thought…I think liberals would probably go to rehab, conservatives would probably get sent to “sensitivity training”.

  • Dave_in_MA

    What I don’t understand is why there’s no #clumsychange hash tag.

  • John Alvarado

    Wow.. I guess Patton has been holding this in for the longest time. Thanks for showing your true colors. Now, everyone knows what is truly on your mind.

  • TocksNedlog

    The King of Queen Bitches

    • HWarrior13

      Yeah, he had a few bits parts on that show, which ended like a decade ago.

      • TocksNedlog

        Please to note that I did NOT write
        “The King of Queens, bitches!” I’m CALLING Patton Oswalt “the king of queen bitches” in reference to both the show title and to the David Bowie song “Queen Bitch”.

        • HWarrior13

          Ok, but I still think that my comment fairly sums up his most notable body of work, does it not?
          I could be wrong, it happens

  • descolada9

    I take it he was feeling irrelevant today and needed to get some attention? And he has kids??

    • TocksNedlog

      Mother Mary comes to me,
      Speaking words of wisdom,
      Let it breed — Let it breed.

  • MNWoman

    There are plenty countries throughout the world that ban all guns and have socialized medicine. Why can’t liberals, especially wealthy ones, move there and leave us constitution and freedom loving Americans to enjoy what our Forefathers fought for?

    We are a unique nation. There is no place else I would want to live. There are already plenty of places throughout the world that would be perfect for most liberals who hate guns and love socialism. We don’t need to transform America into one of those places.

    I found it bizarre during the gun control debates when liberals would say “if you don’t like America, move”. That is quite backwards. I love America. I love the Bill of Rights, including the 2nd Amendment. If the liberals think we are the ones who are fighting to change the ways of America, they are sadly mistaken. We continue to support individual freedoms and our Constitution. As Reagan said, this is the last stand on Earth.

  • ToyZebra

    Is this guy looking in the mirror while he types all this?

  • JD Son

    Thanks for blowing a bunch of crap on Twitter, Oswalt. You sound like an utter moron. So, tell me, genius, what is going to help preserve the continuation of the human species, a man and a woman married who can procreate, or two men or two women? I don’t see anything hateful about being conservative, which embodies personal responsibility and a healthy respect for god, guns, and religion. Lay off whatever drugs you are on skippy, and maybe learn how to “act”.

  • HWarrior13

    Wow…this guy has some serious mental issues. Imagine being lucky enough to actually make mass amounts of money acting like a fool and yet still be plagued with mental illness?
    Now that I think of it, Anna Nicole Smith and Charlie Sheen come to mind.
    It’s true, money really can’t buy happiness.

  • Finrod Felagund

    Patton Oswalt, less funny than a rodeo clown.

  • neoface

    Most comedians are mentally unstable, with low self esteem, and the only way they get noticed is by being a fool. This guy is funny looking as well, only in your dreams that anyone would want to follow you. Sap!!

  • $472942

    Does anyone really give a rat’s ass what this fat little toady does or thinks?

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Apparently you and hundreds of your fellow right-wing zombies do, which is why you’re swarming here and soiling yourself.

      • Rick Bowser

        Evidently, you do too, or you wouldn’t be on here trying to defend little Frodo’s left-wing temper tantrum.

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          Of course I care. I loved his comments, and that’s why I’m here. My question was why all the right-wingers who say they don’t care are here.

          Why are you too stupid to get that?

          Never mind, I know why.

  • Chuck Williams

    God help me but I knew Patton back in the day when we were
    both living in Sterling, VA and I have kept my mouth shut about him but his
    idiocy and nastiness is making it very hard to keep quiet. My message to him is, Dude you have had way
    more success than u could have hoped for; u need 2 chill NOW b4 u piss us off
    any further.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Patton Oswalt learned English in Sterling, VA. Why didn’t you?

  • disqus_BktOMwqkBg

    Nero. Mostly remembered for his universal free heating for all the residents of Rome. Hammurabi. Remembered for his law of universal eyecare. Pharoah Khufu. Remembered for his low income housing and universal employment program. Stalin. Free mass transit passes (eastbound to Siberia only). Montezuma. Free heart surgery. Yes sir. History only remembers how past leaders have treated the underclass.

  • Carter_Burger67

    who the hell is Patton Oswalt?

  • Sally Morris

    Who the F*** is Patton Oswalt anyway? Never heard of him

  • SturJen

    “His brain is a bag full of cats, you can smell crazy on him.” -Bruce Banner. Yeah, I got through about 5 of those tweets and the smell of crazy was so bad that I stopped.

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    I’m confused…Twitchy says that this article is about Patton Oswalt, but they keep using pictures of Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan…

  • http://www.theretiredbabyboomer.net/ Dave

    Comedian? I always thought a “comedian” had to be funny once in a while. Ah well….I guess Saving Private Patton from himself is an exercise in futility.

  • kateorjane

    Never heard of him – apparently I’ve missed nothing.

  • Vote4SexualPredator’sWife2016

    Alright, bitches! Who’s ready for some downvotes! #peace

    • Vote4SexualPredator’sWife2016

      Bae caught me downvotin. I still luv him doe

  • $27789750

    Wow…whoever this guy is, he’s bought the left wing kool aide with a vengeance.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Why can’t you spell Kool-Aid?

      Never mind, I know the answer.

      • $27789750

        Sheesh…wouldn’t want to offend some one as clever as you. I’ll try again….khule ahyd. Better?

        • Grandma HeadInjury

          LOL! MoeLarryandPatton proved his intellectual prowess by nitpicking “spelling”…at least go after a real spelling error, Patsy!

  • LibsHateFreedom

    He always has that “my diaper is full– please change me” look on his face.
    And his tweets are as interesting as the load in his Baby Huey shorts.

  • BorderLine Guy

    Given Mike Wilson’s (co-founder of Lucette Brewing) support of Patton yesterday via twitter, I’ll never be touching their beer again.

    The left is defending Patton saying he was simply joking and trolling for fun, yeah sure.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Anyone with a triple-digit IQ gets the joke, chuckles. Which leaves you and yours out, that’s for sure.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Cool! So you know someone with an IQ that explained the joke for you? Good for you, kid. Good for you!

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          Everyone has an IQ, chuckles. Even you. But you’re nowhere near triple digits, which is why you think Mark Levin is brilliant.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            Cute. You actually think you have an IQ in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. Here’s another pat on your little flat head. You are just so precious…

      • BorderLine Guy

        “The joke?” That an ultra-liberal comedian threw out stereotypes of conservatives and separated the tweets in a way to seem over the top? Yeah, so highbrow. Rethink your own perceived intellect.

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          Those stereotypes happen to be true. Live with it.

          • BorderLine Guy

            Only in your mind.

          • MoeLarryAndJesus

            My mind? How about everywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line, for starters. Oh, and in Willard Romney’s house.

  • john1schn

    Who is Patton Oswald again?

  • RedSoloCup

    Sounds like Patton had another Cher moment.

  • notenoughtime

    Does this guy actually have a following. Isn’t his claim to fame making snarky comments on VH1! Hardly a resume enhancer.

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    The downvote fairy is back! How ya doin’, Patsy?

  • TDWilson

    Who is Patton Oswalt?

  • Mary Lee

    Patton Oswalt is a hateful, ugly little man. He should be on medication.

    • HWarrior13

      Mind if I tweak your comment a tad?
      ” Patton Oswalt is a hateful, ugly little PERSON. He should be on medication.”
      Someone who rants such verbal diarrhea really should not be referred to as a “man”.

      A cowardly troll, yes, but a “man” ? Not so much

    • https://marvel.com/universe/Moon_Knight Moon Knight

      Most of us should be on medication.

  • lazypadawan

    I will never understand why this slob is popular with anyone at all. Just about all of the “geek heroes” out there are mean, bullying, nasty, misogynistic, not-that-bright man boys who just patter about pop culture and don’t have anything else to offer.

  • Derek Penner

    Uh, who is this guy?

  • HWarrior13

    I’m sorry, my follow Twitchians (?), but all I see when I read this person’s comments is mental illness, someone who is screaming for attention.
    I think I’m a reasonably compassionate person, so for his well being, I truly hope he has someone in his life who can direct/forcibly admit him to a mental institution. In the same way Amanda Bynes has been admitted. Isn’t this the same way she started her downward spiral ? Although, I don’t believe that she was tweeting that she wanted people to die.

    This person seems far more imbalanced and potentially harmful than she is and might hurt others when he finally snaps.

    • TexSizzle

      Twitchers?

  • Boston Sports Mag

    He is the funniest dwarf on TV, though.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      No, that’s Mark Levin.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Oh, the 6 ft tall Mark Levin?

        Your fail is duly noted….

        • HWarrior13

          nice smack down, knuckle…carry on, sir

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          Levin has 7″ lifts.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            Oh, damn! Great comeback. Almost worthy of Patton Oswalt…except…no, you both are equally lame….

  • Johara_Majnoona

    pay attention to where he cuts each tweet in half. it’s a joke .__. whether or not it’s actually funny is beside the point. but it’s a joke

  • I Am Breitbart

    Wow, what a freaking weirdo! Who is this dude anyway?!?!

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      He’s the guy who pisses on Breitbart’s grave every week.

      • I Am Breitbart

        Well aren’t you just a ball of love and sunshine! I know your mother has to be proud! Does she know she has raised such a low life scum bag? Remember doucher, you reap what you sow! Maybe someday somebody will be pissing on your grave!

        • Tommy Ed Lawrence

          Like Breitbart, he’ll be dead at the time so I don’t think it will matter much. But you deserved the response. It’s exactly the kind of thing Breitbart would approve of. You want to fly the Breitbart/Teabag flag; don’t be surprised when someone wants to burn it.

          • I Am Breitbart

            Really troll! How exactly did I deserve that response? Please, in your infinite wisdom Mr. Liberal, in all your self-righteous love and tolerance, tell me! Explain to me why disrespecting the dead is appropriate?

          • Tommy Ed Lawrence

            You are flying the Breitbart flag; his history with “pimp boy” and that ilk speaks for itself. I shouldn’t have to explain that part to you. But, let me be clear. I never said that pissing on anyone’s grave is appropriate and I will state for the record that I don’t personally think that it is, no matter how much I disliked Breitbart. I don’t denigrate the dead unless they rise to the level of people like Hitler and Breitbart was no Hitler. I think his surviving family deserves better than that. Of course Moe never actually pissed on that grave. You put the ball on the tee with your moniker. Moe did the easy cleanup.

            What I am pointing out to you is that Breitbart’s own behavior promoted exactly this type of response; he was combative to say the least. Are you really surprised that a vitriolic, hateful hack would get this kind of response? And the same goes for Mr. Breitbart’s corollaries on the left to be fair. They guy specialized in throwing shots so he continues to reap what he had sown.

            Look, you fly the Breitbart moniker. If you don’t realize that that moniker is “baiting” in and of itself, I can’t help you. You essentially asked for it and moelarryandjesus delivered in spades. Measured as simple comedy (since we are all a bit comedic here; thinking what we type here matters) Moe knocked it out of the park.

          • I Am Breitbart

            Awe….sorry you took so long to type all of that not sorry I did not read all of it. You lost me after the Breitbart/Hitler comparison. Just want to say thank you for proving my point about liberals and hypocrisy! You claim tolerance and demand respect, neither you practice or deserve! Have a nice day! :)

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          But it won’t be Nose Candy Andy, because fortunately that loser is dead.

          • I Am Breitbart

            For shame! Have you no shame? Let me answer my own question: NO!

  • exLibtard

    Patton Oswalt’s ridiculous rant is dripping with White guilt. Here’s a nice except from Robert S. Oculus III’s The White Book, describing people like Patton Oswalt:

    The Disingenuous White Liberal isn’t really interested in helping black people. His primary interest is in demonstrating his superiority over other white people – that is, over you. He is an insecure social climber who lives in fear of being thought of as uncool. From his lordly manor in North Honkyboro, the DWL assumes the mantle of the saintly protector of the black man in order to show other DWLs he’s not one of the lite-beer drinking, foam-hat-wearing, big-bellied peckerwoods he hates so much.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Robert S Oculus is a white-supremacist pantload, and so are you.

      • exLibtard

        Oh, no! That must mean that what I quoted above is false! You win!

        ;P

        • MoeLarryAndJesus

          Of course it’s false. That’s the only reason you believe it.

          • exLibtard

            Struck a nerve, did I?

          • MoeLarryAndJesus

            You couldn’t strike a match, wingturd.

  • dwok

    The rantings of portly, dimwitted, little man.

    He is the definition of an online true made manifest.

    • MoeLarryAndJesus

      Perhaps you should learn how to write in actual English before you call your clear intellectual superior “dimwitted,” you pathetic right-wing dipsh*t.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Now, Patton, don’t cry. It makes you seem even more effeminate than you already are…

      • dwok

        I’ve just gleaned from your comment that you’re a vile, spiritually bankrupt individual. Good luck with that.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Cries for help like this come across as so pathetic.

    • Tommy Ed Lawrence

      Like your whole crew…..

      • objectivefactsmatter

        It’s pathetic when anyone blames phantoms for their sadness. My “crew” realistically blames unhinged leftists like this whiny lunatic.

        Are you one of those?

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Cries for help like this come across as so pathetic.

  • Paul

    who is this tool?

  • Paul

    who is this tool?

  • conservative2012

    What a bore.

  • hawkins455054

    I’m a conservative and I agree with the Libbies, let all the gay men and women marry if they want to, if the blacks want abortion, let them, they will kill themselves off, I would rather pay for the abortion than pay for their 20 yrs of EBT and free housing and medical, and the gays, will never be able to reproduce and keep spreading there lies and filth, half will die off because of AIDS, and since Obamacare won’t help them (a little blue pill) they will die off faster which is sweet because they voted for their own ending, and guys like Oswald will eventually vanish from the public view because they have out lived they use, should see him doing commercials for diapers or laxatives pretty soon, and the Hollywood Squares (Hollywood Hasbens)

    • Drew Humberd

      Thanks for this post! It’s always nice to remember that even as an atheist I’m more Christian than you guys. :) Have a wonderful day.

      • Tommy Ed Lawrence

        Exactly….That is exactly correct. We should all smack these guys everywhere we meet them. They have nothing to do with Jesus.

        • Tommy Ed Lawrence

          The comment that the site deleted (appropriately) was a reminder to me (from a person whose moniker is “That’s RetardedSir”) that he and his kind “exercise our second amendment rights”. So I guess he means he’ll shoot me if he can.

          This is exactly why we all have to stand up these idiots. If it were up to them they would probably imprison or kill anything different from them.

          I made the mistake of not clarifying that by smack I did not mean physically but with verbal disdain or disdain in general. My mistake or not doesn’t merit being threatened (veiled or otherwise) with being shot for MY free speech which these jerks are so worked up over.

          So I guess we know who is mentally challenged.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            Oh, lord. So is having such a huge wad in your panties uncomfortable, or do you just get used to it?

  • http://www.giddeup.com Crayon Martin

    This *guy* needs to go ahead a schedule his gender reassignment surgery.

    • Tommy Ed Lawrence

      ….and you can probably recommend the doctor.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Uh-oh, Patsy’s man-crush patrol is on the move! Y’all be careful out there; they’ve brought their amazing rejoinders with them!

  • frogmouth

    Brilliant! Patton Oswalt has trolled the entire twitterverse, conservative and liberal alike. And most of you fools don’t realize how masterfully you’ve been played.

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      LOL! Most of us are aware what he’s doing. It’s just not funny. Like most of what Patsy does…

  • mambome

    Wait, so the two posts together are liberal, but the second post out of all of them is hateful and racist? I’m not sure I get where he’s going with this.

  • rightofcenter

    Patton Oswalt looks like a birth defect. Does he even have a job anymore?

    • Tommy Ed Lawrence

      Yeah, he does and makes a hell of a lot more than you. He is simply saying what the majority said last Presidential election: Frick you clowns. You want the fight; we’ll give you one and watch you demographically go to ground.

    • Mark Hurley

      Patton has not yet reached the APEX of his glorious career. He has been my favorite for years, and every new bit he does is funnier and smarter than the last. He could buy and sell you 20 times over on his writing credits alone, let alone his own material and movie and tv appearances. Did you see his Parks and Rec guest appearance a couple of months ago? Gold.

  • Tommy Ed Lawrence

    I see no problem with being right of center so this post is to the conservative racists: Have some guts you cowards. If you believe what you do, why don’t you all wear it on your sleeve everywhere you go: Work, Church, on the street in general. But you won’t because you’d be drowned by an overwhelming majority. There is nothing christian about any of you.

    Now please, by all means, you get your intellectualized racism out here for all to see. Your kind is slowly dying. And unlike a lot of folks on the left, I really like that thought.

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Were you always this boring, or do you just act like this to keep from getting laid?

      • Tommy Ed Lawrence

        At least your moniker fits. Kisses.

        • Grandma HeadInjury

          Gosh, never heard that one from any of your fellow irony-challenged beta males before. Yawn.

          Toodles. (That’s another one you ladies use, right?)

          • https://marvel.com/universe/Moon_Knight Moon Knight

            Give it up. Patton Oswalt trolls better than you ever could.

          • Grandma HeadInjury

            LOL! If that’s what you gals look for in a hero, you’re even more pathetic than I first thought!

            You are so precious. *pat-pat-pat*

  • Halfbreed

    Who?

  • therealguyfaux

    Patton Oswalt and “Lebanon” Levi Stoltzfuss (Amish Mafia).
    You’ve never seen the two of them together, have you?
    Thought not.

  • World B. Free

    Dude. Is. Unhinged.

  • Patriots Watch

    patriots watch condems Patton Oswald and his hatful ignorance and his the aimed at patriots/conservatives, use you’re brain Mr Oswald, give it a try or once

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Oh, lord….thanks for your help….

      • Patriots Watch

        Your welcome patriot, good to bond together and let the dems/libs know that there days are numbered

        • Tommy Ed Lawrence

          ….so numbered that we’ve got the popular vote in five of the last six presidential elections. My whiskey collection tastes twice as good knowing that your kind isn’t growing; it’s demographically dying. Maybe you guys could mind meld and become KnuckleDragginPatriotsWatchWeNutjobs. Awesome.

          • Patriots Watch

            We simply want a sense of patriotism and dignity to pervade in These United States. I am sorry if I offended you.

          • Tommy Ed Lawrence

            I can respect that response Patriots Watch. Your apology was not necessary. I get it; we’re on a blog and we both think we are right. It’s the perception (mine) that the hard right wing’s tone is self righteous. Naturally, I have seen much of the same on the left which is why I am a registered non-partisan who BTW, voted for the Republican (Sandoval) for governor of my state. Harry Reid’s kid was a total joke. I would have voted out Harry if his opposition was something better than Sharon Engel.

            I would be willing to bet that the left and right of this country could agree on many issues; I agree about Patriotism and Dignity (sic). And you have my apology if I lumped you in with the crowd I see as exceptionally far right. I think blog comments encourage broad strokes but if you want what you say, then you and I and Knuckle along with everyone else here better start calling out the people we like when they lie like the President did about NSA. Most of the people in DC are the bad guys, Democrat or Republican. I have the feeling we might agree on that. You have a good night.

          • Patriots Watch

            Thank you for this intelligent and thoughtful response.

            We are all Americans, united by much more than what little divides us. Let’s work together to make our home strong and full of possibilities for all.

            God Bless
            Patriots Watch

          • Tommy Ed Lawrence

            BTW, I’m going to remember this back and forth because it made me feel far better to find common ground with someone who probably disagrees with me on some issues than to fight with other fighters. I thank you for that.

    • https://marvel.com/universe/Moon_Knight Moon Knight

      lolz

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    Looks like MoeLarryandPatton are back! Hi Patton! You are such a scamp!

  • Mike Peterson

    He is a hatful little b*tch.

  • garygramscom

    So, it does not say, did anyone….I mean ANYONE answer him? Or is he just another rage filled lib shouting in the dark?

  • $48245650

    Just admit that you all got owned and move on with your lives.

  • EverTheGreen

    Okay folks, here is Patton’s diatribe de-twitted, meaning it is now in proper context:

    When it comes to doing laundry, I firmly believe in using environment-friendly detergent and I ALSO believe whites and “darks” should be kept separate.
    Sorry if that sounds too “tree-huggy” to my conservative followers. Saying that gay marriage is unconstitutional is as hateful & ignorant as saying all abortion should be illegal, no exceptions. Just go ahead and UNFOLLOW me, you right wing hate-mongers.
    Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that Hitler was absolutely right about the Jews. And I don’t care how many “white power” redneck followers I lose by Tweeting that. You think ANYONE should be able to buy a gun for ANY reason, you idiot? Well, why don’t we just let NAMBLA members fuck anyone they want. Am I so crazy for wanting my kid to grow up in a safer world?
    These idiots who deny that clumsy change is real, and a pressing threat are no different from misogynists who claim that women enjoy rape. Grow the fuck up, all of you. Why do right wing asshats want “Hollywood out of government”, but don’t want the Fred Thompsons or Arnold Schwarzeneggers out of government? Yes, please! (Sorry for any misspelling).
    For you simpletons who see everything in “black” and “white”: if racism, misogyny, hatred and fear are BLACK, then My grandchildren had better be WHITE. And I mean PURE WHITE, or we’re not going to have a country anymore.
    God’s greatest miracle? How about science? Penicillin? Gift from God. Polio vaccine? Gift from God. Even aspirin, Pepto-Bismol and ROLAIDS is a gift from God. I don’t know why people are still so backward in their thinking about this. Our country’s worth isn’t in how many billionaires we produce or countries we conquer. History will judge use solely on how we treat the poor, disabled and hopeless. It’s the only way we can insure our future.
    And I’m sorry, but I fucking HATE FOX NEWS. Bunch of race-baiting corporate shills. All of their medieval, fact-free claptrap is performed by monkeys in expensive clothes. Sorry if I offended you, white conservatives, but it’s the truth. Gonna hop off Twitter for awhile. Enjoy the sunshine, breathe the air. Hope no one was offended. Cross my heart and hope to die, all of you. Seriously. Peace.

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Oh! Well, that IS funny!

      Nah, just kiddin’. It just shows how big a reach this schmoe has to go to pass for funny these days.

      At least he has his little fanbois to build him up…and vote his detractors down on conservative websites…Now THAT’S a joke!

  • Moonbeam

    Gotcha!

    Patton Oswalt Trolls Twitter Conservatives With Brilliant Lesson

    On Saturday, Patton Oswalt pulled off a truly masterful Twitter prank. Not only did he spark the ire and fury of conservatives on the social networking site, he proved an important point about context in comedy, and in argument in general.

    He’s long been a champion of free speech in comedy — sometimes controversially — and that reached a boiling point earlier this summer when he tangled with Salonover an article criticizing one of his tweets. But this time, conservatives on Twitter were the target of his experiment.

    The comedian and writer rattled off a series of tweets that started innocuous…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/19/patton-oswalt-trolls-twitter-conservatives_n_3779803.html

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Well….if HuffPo says it’s funny, then it truly must be!

      Yawn.

  • Moonbeam

    Patton Oswalt Masterfully Pranked His Twitter Followers This Weekend

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/whitneyjefferson/patton-oswalt-masterfully-pranked-his-twitter-followers-this

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    Wow, Mods, if we were trying to be PO’s own personal “DrudgeReport” I could see the need to aggregate all of these pro-Oswalt blog postings, but….

    On the other hand, it IS interesting that they are all wanting to do a little pre-emptive damage control by pretending it was just…so….genius….

    Well, at least something made me laugh….

    • Tommy Ed Lawrence

      Yes; it’s such a shame that you twits were outnumbered here. Kind of like the popular vote in 5 of the last 6 presidential elections. Christ, I’ll buy you the tissues to dry your tears. I take my hat off to any one who is actually proud of being a knuckle dragger. That is why you fail. Dohhhhhhh. Take it easy sweety.

      • Grandma HeadInjury

        Dude, seriously, that’s your best? No wonder you gals think Oswalt is funny. smh….

  • kristinbarrick

    Glad nothing on this site has changed and I don’t have any reason to click on a link that brings me here (this exception was brought to you by the genius that is Patton Oswalt).

  • Anzacs

    Am I the only one who read this one tweet at a time and saw all the jokes littered throughout? I know the statements as a whole were terrible, but ‘Eat the poor’ was kind of funny…

  • Mark Hurley

    Patton is our generation’s finest comedian. Has been for years. The outrage in this forum proves his point entirely. This man is a national treasure, and I’m glad most of us recognize his genius.

  • winoceros

    Ew. Just green globs of oozing cookie-cutter prefab emotional progressive puppetry. What must it be like to have no original thoughts of one’s own?
    When 70% of American high schoolers can’t tell you what half of which century WWI occurred in, nor more than half tell you who our first president was, I would not hesitate to guess this insignificant being wouldn’t know a fact if he sat and spun on one.

  • Guest

    Comedy isn’t pretty and either is Oswalt…Signed Mrs Oswalt.

  • Peter the great

    Comedy isn’t pretty and neither is Oswalt. Signed, Oswalt’s mother.

  • 3GirlzMum

    Who pissed in his corn flakes? A whole lot of hate without all the calories. sheesh

  • Bohemia_1918

    I only found this mildly funny until I read conservatives’ reactions to it. I’ve been fighting this feeling that many conservatives have lower intellectual capabilities. But what can you think after reading their comments? Is it just conservatives on the internet? Or are ALL conservatives really this dumb?

  • Shawn Fifield

    I think he pissed in his own corn flakes, got up on the wrong side of the bed, He must have just had really, really bad day!

    “Die, all of you. seriously. #peace” What in the heck does that mean?? Did he forget to say “Nothing But Love for You”?

    I think that “peace” has a different meaning to me. Just like how many of the words do not have the same meaning they did when I was growing up.

    “Racist”, “Marriage”, “War” and other words that just do not mean what they used to mean.

  • Shawn Fifield

    I think he pissed in his own corn flakes, got up on the wrong side of the bed, He must have just had really, really bad day!

    “Die, all of you. seriously. #peace” What in the heck does that mean?? Did he forget to say “Nothing But Love for You”?

    I think that “peace” has a different meaning to me. Just like how many of the words do not have the same meaning they did when I was growing up.

    “Racist”, “Marriage”, “War” and other words that just do not mean what they used to mean.

  • Renny

    Oh, yay. This has been linked at HPoo about the ‘right wing’ inability to appreciate humor. We appreciate it. We just don’t see any in those tweets. We go to the White House twitter feed for the humorous tweets.

  • Ebert McFartington XI

    I’m going to add this blog to my blocked list.

    • Grandma HeadInjury

      Well…bye.

      • Ebert McFartington XI

        I didn’t see this, cause I blocked yo ass!

  • Ebert McFartington XI

    I’m going to add this blog to my blocked list.

  • FATSEXY

    I see what he did there.

  • FATSEXY

    I see what he did there.

  • Damien Johnson

    Well, I’ll still enjoy Ratatouille. When you watch a movie, see only the character, not the ugly people behind them.