One sign of a pro journalist is that he or she enlightens us all by asking the questions the rest of us never even thought of asking. CNN’s Piers Morgan must deserve some sort of prize, then, for considering what it must be like to own the boat in which bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is believed to be pinned down.

Piers has been hanging out with his new buddies Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson quite a bit lately.

  • 2ifbyT

    I’d get my gun and shoot the son of a bitch. In the nuts.

    • Clayton Grant

      Always go for center mass, not those tiny targets.

      • Jack B. Thug

        Shooting piers morgan in the nuts would be a head shot.

        • IceColdTroll

          Careful now! You’re talking about doing violence to OUR PRESIDENT!

        • Guest

          Only if my aim was slightly off.



  • twinx

    Funny, I imagine Piers having a brain… or better yet, I imagine him back in the UK.

    • Clayton Grant

      I’d chip in for a boat to take him half way.

      • twinx

        I’ll supply the sharks!

        • Clayton Grant

          They’ll have to be sharks with no self respect.

          • Ken Alan Draper

            & friggin’ lasers attached to their heads! ( sorry couldn’t help throwing in a little Dr. Evil)

      • Jack B. Thug

        Send him back in the boat full of holes.

  • u_scruffy_nerf_herder

    Imaging if that was YOUR friend or family member that was injured, traumatized, permanently disfigured, or killed by the bomb?

    Seriously, fuck the boat.

    • Jack B. Thug

      and piers morgan.

      • u_scruffy_nerf_herder

        And especially Musket Morgan.

  • mwill

    what if cats were dogs and dogs were cats

  • Clayton Grant

    Whoever owns that boat, its value just went up exponentially.

    • Jim

      Seriously, they’ll be able to sell that shit on eBay and make some real bank.

    • Squirrel!

      YES! If it were MY boat, it’d already be on Ebay!

      • Ken Alan Draper

        heck yeah! you know someone will pay big money for that boat now because “it’s History” like Bonnie & Clyde’s deathcar, or the JFK presidential limo.

  • Cy

    At least he’s not condescendingly lecturing us on how not to be racist wingnuts, crying about how this wouldn’t happen if we just got rid of that stupid second amendment or being Michael Moore. Honestly, probably the least offensive thing tweeted by a left wing “journalist” all day. It’s even almost actually journalism because the boat actually exists and he’s actually reporting on it. Pretty good job for someone at CNN.

    • Stephen K

      You can be assured that any act of journalism inadvertently committed by Musket Morgan is an anomaly. Strong corrective action will be taken to ensure that future such acts will not occur.

    • kim

      He’s alread received a sternly worded letter from the DNC

    • WWMD

      Innocent comment between not much happening at that moment and yeah imagine if that was your house/ boat. The intent was certainly nowhere near this thread How about these 2 of his tweets right before. So awful everyone should storm CNN now about so vile of comments:

      Piers Morgan:
      AGREE > RT @jack_welch All I can think about is Richard family.Can’t imagine Dad’s pain. Sons dead, daughter amputee, wife hurt.PRAY for him

      Piers Morgan :
      Sick and tired of hearing what a ‘great guy’ Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was… he’s now a suspected child-killing cop assassin. #CNN #Boston

  • tankdemon

    I imagine that I would be giving the cops the okay to blow it all to smithereens if necessary to get that guy. I can’t imagine that comment coming from a respected journalist.

    • mickeyco

      It didn’t.

      • kim


  • Danny Wheeler

    There’s a gun fight between police and a suspect, possible harm to innocent bystanders, and you–Piers–are worried about a f***ing BOAT?!?!?!

    • kim

      Well, since he doesn’t get to drool over the possibility of blaming the Tea Party anymore, what else could be so important?

    • Frank Drebin

      It should be obvious to everyone by now that Morgan doesn’t have both oars in the water.

      • CatHerder

        He’s a sinking ship.

    • jpowerhouse

      I think he should take his stupid boat and sail back to england. deport him!!

      • BeautifulAmerica

        He’s not worth the money CNN pays him,; a boor & a bore.

    • Mr. Shiroi

      Hey now Paladin. That’s easy to say when it’s not YOUR boat! think of the boat! The boat Paladin, the boat!

      The b…ok I cant take Piers seriously anymore (as if I ever did).

    • PatriotGlory

      I wholeheartedly agree with you that there’s a bigger issue than the boat, but imagine if that’s your house, or your neighbor’s house? It’d be pretty intense.

      How about being the owner of the boat, notice that the cover is off, go outside to check it out and finding the country’s most sought after fugitive curled up in a pool of their own blood? That’ll stick with him for a while.

  • EverybodyTalks

    Wasn’t Piers Morgan leaving the country? Is he being televised from England?

    • BlahBlah

      Jeremy Clarkson begged us to keep him. In the name of Top Gear we did.

      • Roger Taylor

        Piers Morgan is Britain’s revenge on America for the wars of 1776 and 1812.

        His continued breathing (let alone broadcasting) should be contravened as a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

    • kim

      He lied. Again

      • WWMD

        Um from what I recall it was tea folk was gonna have his papers revoked for speaking his mind

        Piers Morgan:
        AGREE > RT @jack_welch All I can think about is Richard family.Can’t imagine Dad’s pain. Sons dead, daughter amputee, wife hurt.PRAY for him

        Piers Morgan :
        Sick and tired of hearing what a ‘great guy’ Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was… he’s now a suspected child-killing cop assassin. #CNN #Boston

  • Chip

    I’d imagine I was damn glad to have MY GUNS too!!!

    • RblDiver

      “You don’t need more than 7 rounds to defend yourself.” Unless the bad guy happens to, oh I don’t know, be taking shelter in my boat!

  • CynicOwl

    Simple, I’d grab my gun you want banned, insert the magazine you want banned, and BLOW.THE.SON.OF.A.BITCH.AWAY.

    • CynicOwl

      I mean, before all that evil stuff was lost in the fire. Damn shame, that fire. ::wink wink::

  • mickeyco

    And this “person” is Zucker’s foundation for the new CNN? Lord, he’s an ass.

    • Orlando Cee

      CNN must be scraping the bottom of the barrel.

      • Miss Clairee

        “Must be scraping,” Hell! They’ve already scraped and ravaged the bottom of that barrel. CNN already sees daylight on the other end of THAT barrel! CNN needs a new damn barrel!

      • kim

        That barrel is bottomless. They turned it into an entrance tunnel to hell

    • John (it true me am)

      He’s par for the course for Zucker(the guy who took the #1 rated by a massive margin network and brought it to the point it’s lucky to beat Telemundo… 100% literally).

    • TheOriginalDonald

      You just insulted donkeys everywhere by comparing them to Piers Morgan

  • Jim

    It’s easy if you try.

    • Clayton Grant

      No hell below us

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      “Thank you, and on behalf of the band and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition…” XD Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Steve_J

    After today and all the holes it has aquired the boat, when put on the water, will sink just like CNN’s ratings and credibility. Only not as fast.

  • Just Another Guy

    Well, I think that people insure their boats. Though this claim might be a first….

  • Jayrod

    I can imagine it’s my boat. Before Obama’s economy, I used to have one.

    • kim

      I still have one, just can’t afford to do more than look at it anymore. Pretty soon I’ll be able to watch it attached to someone else’s vehicle as it leaves my yard

  • Rick Mount

    IMAGINE# if I needed more than 7 rounds

  • jojofido

    we need terrorist control think of the poor boats!

  • QBallBrazil

    No Mr. Morgan…I imagine it’s YOUR boat, and it is sinking.

  • 3seven77

    Imagine if Piers Morgan was on that boat…headed back to the U.K.

    • Jack B. Thug

      We’d need to put a few more holes in the boat just to be sure.

    • Ken Alan Draper

      Imagine that boat & piers morgan caught in the gulf stream being carried off to Murmansk.

  • Stephen K

    Musket should just imagine that the owner is a right-wing wacko who used the boat to stockpile an arsenal of “assault weapons.” Then he’ll be okay with whatever happens to it.

  • John

    Imagine if Piers Morgan wasn’t a shallow POS.

  • LinTaylor

    All I’ll say is, I’m glad this is the first thing we’ve heard out of Piers Moron regarding this incident. Because God knows we didn’t need to hear his usual BS regarding this.

  • froggy19510

    Imagine Pierce Morgan having a brain.
    Whoa that’s too big to contemplate.

    • Ken Alan Draper

      Please, their are some limits to human imagination.

  • arttie

    Piers needs the boat to float back home to jolly olde England. Of course he is worried.

  • VerminMcCann

    I’m on a boat, on a boat, on a mutherf***in boat!

  • Silenttype78

    Yeah…that would not have even been a thought that would have crossed my mind!

  • cscape

    i have to say this…. lord forgive me……. Piers Morgan is a blithering idiot (i was going to say moron, but that would be insulting to morons)

  • chetnapier

    shouldn’t he be packing

  • BlahBlah

    Imagine it was your smug face being bitchslapped.

    • daPenguin

      and slap him a few extra times for all those people that lost limbs or loved ones in that horrific cowardly act.

  • Markward

    Piers Morgan, Imagine if you weren’t a complete and utter tool.

  • grais

    He gets money to say stuff like this?

  • Brian Roastbeef

    Imagine Piers Morgan isn’t a dirtbag…

    Yeah, hard to do isn’t it? I guess the imagination does have limits.

  • Bill Board

    Imagine … if Piers Moron actually had a brain.

  • Roger Taylor

    Let’s see….I have choice between losing a friggin’ boat or letting a mass-murdering terrorist escape justice.

    This is NOT a hard call…

    Blow the damn boat into orbit if that’s what it takes!

    • Cajun

      Let’s let Piers go interview the boat, THEN blow it into orbit!

      • Roger Taylor

        If we’re gonna get rid of all the bad apples that way, I gotta go with Chief of Police Brody on this one:
        “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

  • Jack Deth

    Boat: Something that looks pretty, but is an bottomless pit to throw money into.

    Who the ____ here has a boat?!!!!

  • kim

    Piers, what if that boat were in YOUR yard? Can you please deport yourself as promised now?

  • James Rose

    A disgusting fact, I’d bet $10 to a Donut on, is someone is already trying to buy that boat.

  • DurkaDurka

    Does this fkface have Asperger’s Syndrome?

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Ass-Burger Syndrome XD Jawamax 8<{D}

  • daPenguin

    Thanks Piers for reminding me what Paul Revere was warning us about . Now go home.!! Us backward colonists can do just fine without you.

  • Mr. Shiroi

    Thank you Piers.

    I have had a life altering realization.

    During times of crisis where my fellow Americans are trying to be protected I should not worry about the safety of people or the risk the police are taking by doing their jobs.

    But instead. I should just be glad I don’t own that boat.

    Keep making sure my priorities are straight Piers…keep making sure my priorities are straight.

  • Mark81150



    His lack of empathy for the lives lost and shattered is duly noted…. Now when he gets around to boarding a British Airways plane to go back to Londonstan,.. imagine if it were YOUR plane?

    they don’t make enough bleach to make that seat clean again.

  • Ken Alan Draper

    OK, I’m imagining it’s my boat, now I’m imagining opening my gun safe, distributing firearms to my Dad, & nephew. now I’m imaging all three of us taking extra ammunition & walking outside. Now I’m imagining all three of us riddling the boat from stem to stern with .45 ACP, .40 S&W, & .22 LR. now I’m imagining telling the cops the boat’s all theirs.

  • Adam Johnson

    The guy is a tool, but I think he meant “imagine finding this guy hiding in your yard”. And that is valid. But ole Piers is good for a laugh anyhow.

    Piers: Imagine if that’s your boat.

    Wolf: I’d be pretty cocky if it was.

  • mapache

    I imagined it was my boat and Piers Morgan was on it heading back to England.

  • Beth Lott

    Did anyone not imagine this? Not because of the boat, but because you would be facing the reality of a TERRORIST hiding out in YOUR YARD with your KIDS and your HOUSE only a few feet away. An injured one, no less, who is just starting to grieve over his brother. Talk about cornered animals. Did Musket Morgan honestly think everyone’s first thought *wasn’t* “Oh, those poor people who live there!” for some reason? Because that was my first thought.

  • Giglio Casanova

    You need to get a better comedy writer Piers

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Imagine if Dhokhar had taken over a Battleship….Nah, I don’t think he could do that… Jawamax 8<{D}

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Nice Bathtub toy, Piers… Now get on it, and float back to England! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • maltwit

    Wake up America! Why does an ordinary boater need a 12 gallon, magazine clip to fish with?

  • Liberals Needhelp

    Imagine … all the people……living for today….

    Imagine…no possessions…it’s easy if you try…….

    Imagine if that was YOUR boat….

    Oh wait. That doesn’t make any sense.

    The news story is about a major US city on lockdown,

    a bombing suspect, murderer, cop killer is on the run in

    your neighborhood….the world is watching and waiting….it’s dark,

    they can’t find the 19 yr. old coward…..and no, just doesn’t work

    Piers, I can’t figure out if one tries to ‘imagine’ that’s their boat….

    adds to the suspense of the story.

    Perhaps, if you were to say, imagine that is your backyard w/bullets

    flying…….your house and cops are all over the place w/ guns drawn….

    Imagine there’s no countries…it’s easy if you try……….hum-m=m=m…..

  • Craig Achorn

    Imagine if someone actually watched your show

  • TDS

    I am sorry Piers, but I am one of the MANY in this country that can’t afford to have a boat like that, let alone give two sh*ts about what happens to one…
    We are more concerned about what could have happened to the family in the houses that were right next to the stupid boat.
    We are more concerned that this was a trial run for marshal law.
    The boat can f**kin’ burn for all we care.

  • Tom Anderson

    And boats all around the world rejoiced! Finally a voice for their pain! (HUMOR/SATIRE)

  • Guest

    @piersmorgan You know, they have planes now that will cross the Atlantic in a few hours. You don’t to get back to Britain. Thou Shalt Not Covet

  • Steve Gaines

    @piersmorgan You know, they have planes now that will cross the Atlantic
    in a few hours. You don’t need a boat to get back to Britain. Thou Shalt Not

  • WWMD

    This guy is 10 times worse. Why do I not see his tweets on twitchy?

    These were Piers Morgan right before this “damning” (i.e, the stand off took hours one innocuous thought tweeted people pretend its only thing he thought about. Right)

    Piers Morgan:
    AGREE > RT @jack_welch All I can think about is Richard family.Can’t imagine Dad’s pain. Sons dead, daughter amputee, wife hurt.PRAY for him

    Piers Morgan :
    Sick and tired of hearing what a ‘great guy’ Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was… he’s now a suspected child-killing cop assassin. #CNN #Boston

    Ok now spin. Spin