We at Twitchy hadn’t paid much attention to the White House’s “We the People” site until spokesman Jay Carney drew attention to the petition to release the president’s secret beer recipe. Since then, the site has taken off, with petitions ranging from demands to secede from the Union to calls for nationalization of the Twinkie industry and a return of Toledo, Ohio, to Michigan.

Recently, Americans have petitioned for the deportation of Piers “Musket” Morgan, after the British CNN host essentially hijacked the national conversation on gun violence with a relentless stream of “look at me!” tweets.

Now we’ve all heard that conservatives are the humorless ones, and that we don’t understand the finer points of the language, such as metaphor. But while gun rights advocates have reacted to the petition with the snarky #PiersMorganDeportationGifts hashtag, author Joyce Carol Oates has likened the petition to — wait for it — a lynching.

Postcard photos of lynchings? Those are all too real, unfortunately. So are the petitions, also housed on the White House website, to have the NRA declared a terrorist organization, as are the threats and death wishes against Wayne LaPierre and members of the NRA. In the meantime, cable news host and non-citizen Morgan cries that the “pro-gun lobby [is] furiously denouncing my 1st amendment rights to free speech” — apparently by daring to engage him on Twitter.

What’s not real? The chance of anything whatsoever happening to Piers Morgan, professionally speaking. Maybe the White House staff will get a chuckle over the petition. We certainly did. But lynching? Really? If that’s a proper metaphor for this situation, the word certainly doesn’t mean what we thought it did.

At least one follower found a way to turn Oates’ ridiculous comparison into an argument for gun rights.


Joyce Carol Oates: If enough NRA members get shot, ‘maybe hope for legislation of firearms?’

Joyce Carol Oates: My hope for violence against NRA members wasn’t ‘ironic’; ‘I meant this seriously’

  • http://baldilocks-talking.blogspot.com/ Juliette Akinyi Ochieng

    My response:

    @JoyceCarolOates Ownership of guns kept most black people *from* being lynched. This is widely known among black families–including mine.

    • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

      You need to be quiet token……………./s
      I hope you know I am being facetious here. Anyway, I want you to think about this, I have been having a large amount of epiphanies lately……The Democrat strongholds, have large quantities of abortion mills, they do not allow the sovereign citizens to defend themselves, they have schools that are pretty much idiot creators, they limit business and property ownership to certain things, they promote the gangster lifestyle, they promote the lifestyle that does not allow anyone to succeed, etc et al. The Democrat plantations are perfect killing fields, exactly like Sanger planned…….

      • http://baldilocks-talking.blogspot.com/ Juliette Akinyi Ochieng

        The schools have been destroyed on purpose in order to create new slaves.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/NF2BHME3JEIYSCYJHODWF47CXA Arnold

    That woman is just plain nuts !

    • ClinkinKY

      And butt ugly. I’m sorry…is that politically incorrect?:)

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        I don’t think it is, as not all butts are ugly. You’re being racist against ugly butts. Hmm. Would that be ‘Buttist’?

    • lainer51

      not to mention extremely fugly!

  • http://www.theconservativevoices.com/ dmacleo

    irony. nra helping black people get their gun rights to prevent lynching.

    • http://baldilocks-talking.blogspot.com/ Juliette Akinyi Ochieng

      The first gun control laws were passed in South during Reconstruction in order to keep blacks from owning guns. That way they couldn’t shoot back.

      The death toll among blacks–shot by other blacks–in present day Chicago is another one of those ironies.

      • TheAmishDude

        And, of course, the UAW was formed because Henry Ford was going to hire black workers.

        • Rightturn

          This is either dumbfounding ignorance you’re showing here, or willful deceit. Nothing could be further from the truth.

          I’m curious though, does anybody who signed on to up-vote this comment even know anything of this lie, or are you all just giddily, mindlessly responding to anti-union prose?

  • TheAmishDude

    Freedom of speech means that we get to respond too. As a newspaperman, Morgan isn’t used to the hoi polloi responding.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      He’d rather just hack into their cell phones instead of interviewing them.

  • Jack Deth

    Why is this creature breathing our air?

    Joyce Carol Oates: The living, liberal embodiment of the famed and aptly titled ‘Firesign Theater’ album.

    “Everything You Know is Wrong!”

  • http://baldilocks-talking.blogspot.com/ Juliette Akinyi Ochieng

    So is she saying that going back to the UK is like death?

    • TheAmishDude

      Ever have their food? Or their beer?

      • http://baldilocks-talking.blogspot.com/ Juliette Akinyi Ochieng

        LOL! Touche.

      • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

        Okay, I shouldn’t, but I will. What about their dentistry!

        • lainer51

          and don’t forget that slobbering faux accent!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.dean.564 Lisa Dean

    Since Piers Morgan was run out of England does that equate to the English persecution of Catholics?

  • michael s

    what a vile racist thing for this person to post. no body is calling to harm morgan. this will be dismissed just like put yall back in chains garafalo calling Michael Steele a uncle tom and the countless racists comments by maher colbert and other libs.

  • Guest

    All it took was a little tweaking to get to the truth~
    @JoyceCarolOates Piers Morgan’s rage suggests that Brittish Supremacists love to hate–some1/ something. Fortunately the rage is transient.
    @JoyceCarolOates Piers Morgan & the blood-bonding of lynching. Check out those photos of British lynch mobs, crucified Negroes in Africa.
    @JoyceCarolOates Communists never thought it was evil, or even tragically misguided. Blieve are acting morally–to uphold Order & Goodness.

  • gracepmc

    This poor sad washed up writer.

    • moonsbreath

      And looks like she’s been hung out to dry.

      • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

        In the hot, hot sun of the Mojave. There’s a reason it’s called ‘Death Valley’.

    • Janet Mathews

      Writer? Hack is more like it.

  • Guest

    ” In an America with legal leadership communists get tried for treason and so do their cohorts~” Anthony

  • moonsbreath

    Who knew that Joyce Carol Oates is Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s twin?

    • lainer51


    • Ethelssoninlaw

      This is whose twin she really is: http://flowinghaircent.com/

    • rickg62

      Who’s the uglier sister?

      • LightSabre

        Is it a pre-requisite to being a liberal woman that you have to have a face that will stop a clock?

    • Catchance

      Actually, I think she looks more like Jar Jar Binks.

  • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

    @JoyceCarolOates Do you know what the elastic limit is of a material? I think you have exceeded that limit for metaphors, lefty.

  • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

    And my response:
    .@JoyceCarolOates Hmm. One wonders where you got such insider information regarding ‘lynch mobs’. Did you participate in a lynch mob once?

    Because, you know, I’m white, but I have no friggin’ idea what a lynch mob mentality is like. Unlike Ms. Oates, who is apparently the expert on lynch mobs in 2012.

  • http://www.facebook.com/deb.smith.37017 Deb Smith

    She see herself as intellectual…………LOL………..she’s a snob
    who no longer serves a purpose other than in her little bubble.

    • lainer51

      not true – that face would stop a clock (if you have a need for that)

  • disqus_DiNJpJg4wR

    This washed-up old hag needs to take herself and those flying monkeys back to Oz.

  • George Washington Mclintock

    Being forced to read her work in college made me feel like a crucified negro.

    • Janet Mathews

      Thank God that did not happen to me. I was never required to read her garbage in school. If a teacher of mine had assigned her rubbish, I would have informed him or her in writing that I would be substituting that garbage assignment with a selection of real literature, and dared them to hurt my grade because of it. I actually did that once in my public high school, and got away with it. When you stand up to liberal hacks and call their bluff, they always back down, and if they don’t, well, you can always sue them for discrimination against conservatives. Just the thought of getting sued makes most public school teachers and administrators wet their pants in fear.

  • Steve_J

    To compare Musket Morgan to the lyncings of blacks is to trivalize the deaths of those blacks and whites who were lynched. Apparently she, like Musket, is attempting to garner publicity for herself on the graves of the dead. Shame on both of them.

  • copper

    I talked to a guy who knows Joyce Carol Oates. He told me he once blew in her ear and she smiled at him and said, thanks for the refill.

  • TocksNedlog

    What’s the matter, Joyce? All of a sudden it’s NOT cool to slam an old white guy?

  • TocksNedlog

    Apparently, it’s more than just the SECOND Amendment that the liberals have a problem with.

    • BeeKaaay

      They hate the first amendment with a passion.

      Freedom of religion? No! Only for Atheists and Muslims, no other religions allowed!

      Freedom of speech? No! That means people could disagree with leftwingwackos, and they cannot allow that!

  • OpenTheDoor

    Yeah, because nothing typifies “crucified Negros” like a pompous Brit.

  • Lin Jarvis

    If you feel you must buy a JCO book, buy used–no royalty paid to her.

    • lainer51

      or go to library…

  • Lin Jarvis

    Deportation=lynching? Joyce Carol Oatmeal=idiot.

  • An American Veteran

    OMG, it’s true, what has been seen cannot be unseen.

  • BeautifulAmerica

    Ow! my eyes. Have mercy, Twitchy. Which is worse: to see or hear her?

  • TWG2A

    Words that have been de-defined by the glassy eyed left: “racist”, “extremist”, “allies”, “enemies”, “terrorist”, “lynching”. None of these words mean anything anymore Who in hell is joyce carol oates, and why does anyone CARE about her race-baiting, hate mongering rhetoric?

    • $30423294

      As best as I can tell, Joyce Carol Oates is an archetypal figure. I detect the following elements of this archetype:

      1. Often uses the middle name to indicate a position of influence, or destiny.

      2. Communicates vaguely to shroud her message so that it can be interpreted with the widest possible latitude so as to avoid being found wrong, or to claim to have been misunderstood in a most hurtful way.

      3. Uses the term “negro” with a knowing nod as if to signify direct knowledge of important historical facts. Might on occasion adopt a black dialect while speaking to an audience. One can imagine her archetype gathering children around them to tell them stories of the olden days, where black people were known as “negros”. Such an archetypal figure may have once seen a black church burned down in her childhood, but it is of course not fully verifiable, as there are no living witnesses. Again, vagueness in the details. That sort of thing.

      4. Uses sarcasm frequently to signify impatience or exasperation with her readers, whom this archetype views with contempt, even as she depends on them for her fame.

      5. Left wing politics adopted not so much by studying the history of ideas but rather to fit in where one must fit in to achieve notoriety.

      That’s who she appears to be. There are others. Lots of haggard feminist figures fit the archetype, probably Hillary Rodham Clinton.

  • Hello Jerry (D)

    Olive Oyl, runs mouth

  • BeeKaaay

    It is the leftwingwackos who are bloodthirsty. They rail against gun violence against children because that’s not how they want children to die. They want children to die by being ripped limb from limb, and NOT by gun violence (which is less painful and has less suffering)

  • Jane Sez

    Merry Christmas! Now kill yourself, you self-hating white liberal jerk.

  • Jen

    Seriously? This woman wrote the worst book I have ever read – it was horrible. I don’t really care what her opinion is…

  • $27789750

    Glad I never bought one of her flowery, frothy, whipped cream books. Read one from the library once couple decades ago, never again.

  • orringtonmom (D)

    the difference being, of course, is that lynch and crucified people died. piers suffering would be limited to possibly having to fly coach.

  • rickg62

    Knew there was a reason I didn’t read any of her crap.

  • disqus_ys7YLGvSbv

    Now there’s an attractive woman!

  • 29Victor

    So what she’s saying is that eventually abortions will being publishing postcards?

  • tredglx

    What is a Joyce Carol Oates? Sounds like a hybrid crop product to me.

  • momtothreebeagles

    Honest to goodness, I don’t mean to be rude or offensive, but this woman is BEYOND SCARY HIDEOUS. Seriously.

    • momtothreebeagles

      I’m not saying that people need to be even semi-attractive to have an opinion, but honestly, let’s get real here, …. I mean, how can you look at this individual and take them seriously, when they look like they belong in outer space?

  • SwTk

    Another example of Liberal Fugly.