Obama supporters (not to mention the president himself) sure are high on job-creating small businesses these last few days. White House Press Secretary Jay Carney and Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid were just two who tweeted their support of “You Didn’t Build That Saturday” — sorry, “Small Business Saturday.” President Obama himself made a high-profile trip to a local bookstore.

Comedian Patton Oswalt has found two small businesses in L.A., a paper maker and a print shop, that are too hip to fail. Anthony Cumia of the “Opie and Anthony” radio show, though, has also noticed an uptick in interest in the survival of small businesses.

No witty rejoinder yet, but we imagine it would go something like this.


Nonsensical? No, this is nonsensical. Out? Blame Bush. In? Blame Walmart. Oswalt responds to the right-wing douchebags cluttering his timeline.

So, small business owners: is it true that most of you just want to make a livable profit from those businesses you didn’t build? If your ambitions aren’t any higher than that, a second Obama term might be the right business climate for you. Be sure to close up before you get too successful, though, and start hurting your competitors. Cool?

  • Lin Jarvis

    They do want to make a profit, and this adm. Is making that impossible for some.

    • Garth Haycock

      Some would be a step in the right direction for this administration. The fact is, he’s making it impossible for pretty much everyone.

    • SpinMeNot

      But BHO is doing a bang-up job in helping the gun and ammo manufacturers. It is important to give him credit for the little bit of good he actually does.

      • Lin Jarvis

        You’re right. I’ve certainly been buying more.

  • http://IKnowBO.com/ Slam1263

    How many business’ exploit undocumented and guest workers?
    Large and small do it, and the Government turns a blind eye.
    24,000,000 Citiens out of work, and we just keep letting more undocumented, and guest workers in.
    When is the last time the Government shut down a business for hiring undocumented workers?

    • Mabans

      Undocumented works aren’t just LET in, they come here looking for better jobs. And if you argue that a guy who came here from another country with little to no education, and can’t even speak the language some how takes jobs away from those who would other wise have them. They should be ashamed of themselves..

      • SpinMeNot

        Then they should do so legally. There is no such thing as an undocumented worker, they are illegal immigrants. Undocumented worker is a euphemism used by liberal-progressive pukes to make themselves feel better about having no concern for the rule of law. They are just let in, and they don’t all come here looking for better jobs. Many just come here looking for benefits that their own government refuses to provide them.

        Try being an undocumented Guatemalan in Mexico — you won’t get any help from the Mexican government that you would want, unless you are looking for a cot in a bung-hole Mexican prison or a bullet.

        If you do business with a company that supports illegal immigrants, guest workers that overstayed their visas, or hire them yourself, you are not helping anyone … you are just making things worse, and are technically a criminal yourself.

        Try understanding that we are only western country that refuses to protect our own borders. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

    I liked how Oswalt didn’t even understand what Cumia was saying. Good dodge, Patton!


    “Livable profit” is that kinda like a livable wage?!

  • Mabans

    Not every business wants to be multi-national Juggernaut . A lot of HUGE business, small, medium and otherwise cash out. History is littered with folks that start something great way above them then they cash out. sometimes considered The Greater Fool theory depending on the business. Top companies that succeeded doing this, Microsoft and Apple. interesting how they both co-exist right?. Some others just want to make enough pay those and feel comfortable Not sure why every things that if you start a lemon stand the next logical step is a global conglomerate. Sometimes a stand is just a stand.

    Seems that everyone truly belives that businesses only goal is to run out every other business out there like them. It’s dumb and oversimplifying a complex issue with a completely WRONG approach..

    • redheadgrl

      It’s interesting though, I will have to do some research on Wal-Mart. I don’t think Sam Walton set out to be a “multi-national Juggernaut”. I think they were just well-positioned at the right time when the whole chain thing took off in the 80s. However, Wal-Mart and Target coexist (like Apple and Microsoft), but K-Mart is lagging behind and probably won’t survive much longer. But I have studied Wal-Mart’s supply chain model, and they have perfected it. Any successful business, large or small, should try to learn something from that achievement to help them stay ahead of the competition. (BTW, I don’t shop there, nor do I even drive by the superstore 1.5 miles from my home unless I have to).

  • rivers

    Yeah, a lot of small businesses like my friend’s small business want to make a livable profit but what they are going to have pay in taxes because of Obamacare is the equivalent to one and half person’s salary, which is too bad because they already have had to let people go or move them to part time because of Obamacare. I’ll tell you who the d-bag is Patton, it’s fools like you that pushed for Obama to get back in. This family is already stretched to the limit. But I guess the economy looks pretty good in your zip code.

  • irishgirl91

    Shorter progressive. Poor=honor, rich=evil. Small business=good, big business=evil. A paper company (which I love) obviously is not an oil co. so it is good and will not be hampered by god king Obama.

  • George Washington Mclintock

    Anti-success is what Oswalt is all about. His father was a decorated Marine Corps officer who named him after George Patton He, on the other hand, was a kid who could never live up to that. He’s short, nonathletic, and not terribly bright. So, he resents everything associated with guys like his Father. That’s what his “comedy” is. All accomplished men are arrogant assholes who are repressed homosexuals. All accomplished women,Stepford Sluts. Everybody is fake but him and people like him. Nothing but comic books and Star Wars are cool , esp. religion.Every little occurrence and tradition is nothing but fodder for mockery. Kinda pop-culture that pushed me right An ugly,empty, nihilistic, venomous , resentful little troll whose fans are the same. Case in point: no ideas from Oswalt in his response. Just another chance to bash the accomplished business like Wal-Mart and his “and right wing..alpha males.” Like Marine Corp Officers? Like your Dad? Childish Douche/

    • Mary123s

      have to agree…

  • Herman LaClair

    i don’t give a crap what a d-list celeb has to say…about anything. shop Walmart.

  • EastValleyConservative

    Patton is an abysmal comic at best and lucked out by landing a role on The King of Queens in which he did a horrible job. Nothing like a clueless Hollyweirdo to try and push for the plight of small business in light of a president who is purposefully destroying them. The Hollyweirdos are the ones I would like to witness having a mental breakdown and complete fit when their millions won’t buy them much anymore. How about that QE4 anyone?

  • Adela Wagner

    Don’t worry about getting “too big for your small biz britches” that there 200,000…250,000…a million…(whatever the low end is, THIS YEAR) TAX should keep you in your place, you know, the place you didn’t build.

  • ember

    I read that Obama is calling on supporters to make youtube videos to support his tax increases on wealthy. Conservatives need to flood youtube with videos from small business owners and the middle class shunning tax increases and promoting repeal of ObamaCare and cutting entitlements.

  • GaryTheBrave

    Calling Patton Oswalt a comedian is like saying Christian Satanist.

  • GaryTheBrave

    Could someone please tell me where I can find the small business that does NOT use any products or services from large corporations? Thanks, GTB.

  • jsn2

    Trees die, become buried and may eventually turn into coal or maybe oil. Paper comes from trees. Cutting down trees to make paper prevents future coal and oil deposits. As long as the paper is used for writing scripts or crayon art it’s ok.

  • Streetiebird

    Ahhhh… Like a fishy smell that won’t come clean, here comes the tired rightwing lie that Obama is anti-capitalism. It’s starting to look like this one will go another four years. All these lies may make a 2016 Republican presidency pretty hard don’tcha think? The sky must be red in rightwing land. Obama lowers taxes and the rightwing shouts about him raising taxes. Obamacare lowers the deficit and rightwingers shout that it raises it. Obama offers massive spending reductions and the rightwing echo-chamber shouts that he refuses to reduce spending. If Rush Limbaugh says “jump” they don’t even bother to ask “how high?”