‘Bring it on, Megyn Kelly’: Piers Morgan readies for ratings battle

Bless. His. Heart.

After Matt Drudge reported that Megyn Kelly would be moving to Fox News’ 9 p.m. time slot, CNN hack Piers Morgan hiked up his breeches and made a pre-emptive strike against his future primetime “competitor”:

The only thing that hurts more than watching Piers try to swing that? Our sides — from uncontrollable giggle fits!

Oh, sa-NAP!

Oh yes he will. And it will be spectacular.

  • RblDiver

    “Bring it on! Me and my followers (all 3 of them) can totally beat you in ratings!”

    • IMPEACH_BOBO

      Piers is a DELUSIONAL CNN TROLL isn’t he, he can’t even be@t Nancy Grace’s ratings & she bl0ws big time !!!!!! So Piers thinks he is in the same league as Hannity or Megyn, that is some good CR@CK Piers is smoking !!!!!!

      • http://www.robjonesforpresident.com/ Rob Jones

        Nancy Grace? Heck, Piers gets beat by re-runs of the Home Shopping Network.

    • Johnny Right

      Prediction: he will be off the air in 6 months because MK is going to take his last 10 viewers.

      • Mekadave

        He has 10 viewers?

        • RblDiver

          Perhaps in binary notation.

  • CHHR

    this is going to be sooooooooooo good to watch… first thought for Piers… fade, fading, faded memories with the ending question… Piers who?

    • Elaine

      This is like Piers bringing a quill pen to a sword fight! hahahaha

    • Sarah

      It’s already “Piers who”. Next it will be “what kind of stupid name is Piers anyway?”

      • CHHR

        LOL uh oh, I’ve asked that many times already… guess you’re right, Piers is quickly becoming a discharge in the anal of memory… quick let’s get on with the flushing, there’s a few more that deserve that same outcome and fast!

  • lesterwink23

    He can’t possibly be serious. Fox could put a feces throwing howler monkey in the 9 PM slot and it would beat Piers in the ratings 3 times over

    • journogal

      Doesn’t MSNBC all ready employ a few?

      • http://turophiles2cents.com/ Steve Downs

        I’m not sure about the howler monkeys, but they have a MadCow!

    • Wayne Swanson

      The poo flinging monkey has more integrity, and is less offensive.

  • LegalizeShemp

    Hey Pierced Organ, we’d rather look at the corns on Megyn Kelly’s feet than your face. Your ratings will be lower than Bill Clinton’s trousers at an intern’s orientation meeting.

    • http://turophiles2cents.com/ Steve Downs

      Wow! That was great, Shemp!

  • Tom

    Hilarious to hear him spin this as some sort of “battle royale”, and not what it will actually be like: Megyn poking Piers with her pinky finger and watching him collapse into a million pieces like some fractured ice sculpture.

  • Clete Torres

    Piers Morgan = speed bump.

  • jetch

    as if he didn’t constantly lose to FNC since his show started. what is he thinking? what a disillusion moron.

  • I M Free

    bring it on? whoa, what? no one watches you piers. you cant even beat commercials on fox

  • Bozo Sapien

    Fox News could simulcast Piers Morgan’s own show at 9pm and beat his ratings on CNN.

  • DorothyGrissom

    I ask again, Piers is still here? He vowed to self-deport when gun control failed. Oh well. Now he’ll just be obliterated by Megan.

  • Jack Deth

    Ahhhhhhhhh, Empty British hubris!

    Last seen in full force at the Battle of Balaclava and immortalized in ‘The Charge of The Light Brigade’ and at the Battle of Gallipoli and the Dardanelles . And we all know how well they turned out.

    Someone get a mop and bucket. There’s going to be a mess in Aisle 6!

    • TexasMom2012

      How about the battle of New Orleans?
      ‘they commenced to running, way down yonder to the Gulf of Mexico…’

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        #JohnnyHorton (1959) #MusicTriviaTime….. Jawamax 8<{D}

  • https://twitter.com/Captain_Cy_kun Cy

    Quick! Somebody shoot someone so Piers can try and bring in those big numbers with his anti gun rants.

    • WhoMeToo

      and make it ==> @piersmorgan

  • David Johnson

    is his show still on the air.

  • BoscoBolt

    Uh, yeah. There will be no “ratings battle” – only Megyn Kelly kicking ass and Piers Morgan sitting in a corner sucking his thumb and playing with his obama dollies.

  • thetreyman

    is this what they call “punching up”?

  • Zhenia Oleynik

    Doesn’t Red Eye (3am airing) have more viewers than most CNN prime time shows?

    • alanstorm

      Small-town community theater has more viewers the CNN prime time shows.

  • Brian Davies

    It amuses me to think this idiot is actually ANY competition to ANYONE at Fox ….. he’s an out-of-town imbecile who thinks ours laws should mirror England’s ….. That’s why we left DUMBA$$!

  • Rob Stevely

    She’s been on maternity leave for a month and still has had more viewers than Morgan.

  • http://twitter.com/lazypadawan lazypadawan

    Hahahahahahahaha.

  • SophieRo3

    Bring it on @megynkelly > http://t.co/etJa291sUk

    — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) August 8, 2013

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    Stop it, yer killin’ me!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    I think ALL of my ribs are broken!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    • Jeremy

      HA HA

  • MarcusFenix

    A cardboard cutout of Megyn could win…there’s no contest at all.

  • John Alvarado

    I think you could put a dog staring at a camera for an hour and It would probably beat Piers Morgan in the ratings.

    • Pam Oswald

      CNN offered that job to Dana Perino’s dog, Jasper. Jasper laughed and laughed.

  • DeadlockVictim

    You could euthanize, stuff, and mount Larry King in a chair, point a camera at him for an hour, and still get higher ratings than him.

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Yeah, but Larry’s been around for a Million Years! ZING!! ZING!! (For both PIERS and LARRY!!) Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Mizflame98

    How cute. Piers actually thinks he’s in the game.

  • Sandra Arnold Carroll

    I needed a laugh and you all obliged!!! Thanks!!!

  • SophieRo3

    Piers is going to need a Hadron Collider to find his ratings.

  • fafhrd

    He has viewers? (Other than the paid viewers, just in case he says something relevant)

  • Smack-a-Saurus Rex

    Megyn could take a dump on her desk and leave for a half hour and that dump would be more interesting, insightful and honest than Piers…not to mention more attractive

  • arttie

    Yes, but I wonder if Piers cameraman is even watching enough to count as his viewer?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1194859504 Michael Ruda

      Piers’s cameraman doesn’t watch the show, he just points the camera at Piers chair then goes out to get coffee and donuts

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      ZING!! GOLD STAR, ARTTIE! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Peetweefish

    Piers isn’t even the same species. Megyn is awesome.

  • theboss1230

    Piers you might do better on QVC selling fictional movies

  • Cal

    The poor fool. At least he’s facing his demise standing up…for now.

  • Marvin Nelson

    She is gonna kick his sorry ass every night. I don’t watch Piers anyway, but I will definitely be watching Fox News with Megyn. She is so much more interesting than Morgan. Of course, a dead rat is more interesting than Morgan.

  • Steve_J

    He asked for it and he’s going to get it.

  • TocksNedlog

    Smart chick OR stupid Brit?

    Tough choice.

  • WBee1 Proud Navy Wife

    Piers should get good ratings the night Megyn Kelly debuts her new show on Fox News.
    Said no one ever.

  • alanwillingham

    Megyn is given the time slot that now has Sean Hannity. That means Hannity can move to replace Liberal Lite Sheppard Smith ; )

  • LegalizeShemp

    Hey Pierced Organ, the only time your name will come up is to mention who came in last place in the prime time ratings. You’ll have trouble beating re-runs of F Troop, Gilligan’s Island and Gomer Pyle USMC on TV Land.

  • ELC

    Megyn is intelligent…what can you say about Piers?That’s right absolutely nothing. She’s going to beat his butt right from the start. Bye-bye Piers.

  • Guest

    Yes Pierced Organ, it’s an easy choice for viewers, either watch an attractive, intelligent well spoken blonde present both sides of the issues, or watch an arrogant condescending limey mock and ridicule those he disagrees with, while maintaining a look on his face like he’s getting a colonoscopy without sedation.

  • LegalizeShemp

    When Pierced Organ says, “Bring it on!”, he means the guillotine, so he can stick his head into it.

  • Scott

    The mere fact this bloody reject from bloody England has a talk show is a complete joke. His ratings are about as bad as annoying laugh. He thinks he is the greatest talk show host ever and nothing could be further from the truth.

    Megyn Kelly will throttle him like the little punk bitch wanker he is.

  • Eastwood Ravine

    And Piers Morgan is moved to the 12:00 a.m. spot, and Gutfeld’s Red Eye wallops him as well.

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      I’d bet even that crappy Paid Programming the local stations air overnight would beat Piers, HANDS DOWN! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • arttie

    She will have him hiding under his antimacassar.

  • HealthyAmerican

    Piers doesn’t seem particularly intelligent. Perhaps he thinks ratings are like golf scores….

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    At least he has the perfect face for Radio… But even the BBC won’t take him, I’ll bet’cha! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Jeremy

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ohVBC1M90Ww/UO-zotqT5hI/AAAAAAAAX10/H7kdTa9KAf4/s320/Piers+Morgan+CLOWN.jpg

    Your ratings are in the dumpster Piers and Megyn Kelly intimidates you so,you have to put on an act.

  • Peyton

    Poor Piers. He thinks he’s still relevant.

    • Pam Oswald

      He was relevant? Which day was that? I must of been busy tending to a painful hang nail…..

  • fireandreamitchell

    Piers Moron couldn’t even beat HLN in the 24-54 demo last night. He thinks he has a chance to compete against Megyn? hahahahahahahaah

  • Joe

    Poor illegal alien.

  • William Kent Jenkins

    Long walk off short Piers

  • nickshaw

    Does Megyn even know who this Pears Morgan guy is?

    • Fernandida

      Better question….Does Megyn even care who Morgan is?

  • Benjamin Johnson

    Bug to windshield: Bring it on!

  • Gallatin

    Well you know I might tune in to watch the pompous ass if he started blathering about the 2nd Amendment again and Ben Shapiro or Dana Loesch came on to school him.

  • tops116

    I’m sure Piers will appreciate the British touch in this pic.

  • EDUCATEDPATRIOT

    Fox could put up a still photo of Kelly at 5:30 AM after three hours of sleep and suffering from a sinus infection, and it would beat this pompous ass.

  • http://redstate.com/ midwestconservative

    Foxnews could put poop on a desk and it’d still get higher ratings than CNN or MSNBC.

  • mauro1970mvr

    That little sh|thead speaks as if Megyn Kelly was there to compete with him. LOL. Piers has never been in a ratings competition. Look at his numbers.

    I like Kelly, she’s a great political news anchor.

    Fox could place Mickey Mouse at 9 and Morgan’s numbers will still be in the gutter.

  • Rabid

    Videos of fireplaces burning get better ratings.

  • soulskeep

    I was going to post my thoughts about this wanker but ALL you others have already said it all!!! :)
    I think he just lost his last viewer (his mom)!

  • garygramscom

    Isnt that precious, he thinks they are bringing Megyn Kelly on because of him….

  • Cappy Paxton

    Go Magyn! Congrats!

  • ArmyRetPat

    Oh please. This the dumbest comment I’ve seen all month and I have read some doozies.

  • Suzy Stone

    Megyn rocks! First of all & most importantly, she’s SMART. She also has that special “something”, the “x-factor” that makes her sparkle & zing. She works the camera like a pro & knows her facts. She takes no prisoners & gives no quarter to idiots. Piers, if you had more sense, you be shaking in your boots

  • grits

    Megyn Kelly is awesome. Piers Morgan sucks. No contest, and laughable. If this is true, she’ll be queen of the 9 o’clock spot!

  • GulfPundit

    Megyn’s more worried about the Home Shopping Network.

  • http://turophiles2cents.com/ Steve Downs

    You mean we can’t just write “Return to Sender” on his forehead and give him a one-way ticket back to London?