‘If my vagina was a gun’: Abortion rights supporter waxes poetic in Texas

If you enjoyed Amanda Palmer’s hastily composed ode to Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, chances are you’ll find something that touches your heart in “If My Vagina Was a Gun,” entered into the Texas senate record today during testimony on S.B. 1. Hundreds of women and men have been testifying both for and against the legislation, which would restrict most abortions after 20 weeks gestation.

The poem, by Katie Heim, was a hit with opponents of any abortion restrictions and has been reblogged extensively:

If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights,
You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.
If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care,
You wouldn’t spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.
If my vagina was a gun, you’d say what it holds is private
From cold dead hands we could pry, you surely would riot.
If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected,
no matter the body count or the children affected.
If my vagina was a gun, I could bypass security,
concealed carry laws would ensure I’d have impunity.
If my vagina was a gun, I wouldn’t have to beg you,
I could hunt this great land and do all the things men do.
But my vagina is not a gun, it is a mightier thing,
With a voice that rings true making lawmakers’ ears ring.
Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic,
So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic.
My vagina’s here to demand from the source,
Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force.

There are some discrepancies between the live performance and the transcription; it might be best to wait for the definitive version before having it tattooed on your body.

Today’s testimony wasn’t all poetic, though there was plenty of hyperbole and metaphor.

  • Sakemoto

    What is with the left’s obsession with murdering infants? I guess killing babies makes you “healthy?”

    • wolfie773

      They’re also obsessed with non-sequiturs that don’t bolster their arguments. They could just as easily have written “If my vagina were a cheeseburger” and then listed everything we do with cheeseburgers. The thoughts expressed are completely irrelevant and only distract from arguments at hand. Which I guess is very much on purpose.

      • http://www.drudgereport.com/ Strangelove

        Thanks for turning me off of cheeseburgers. 😉

        • Ken Alan Draper

          replace cheeseburger with taco, it’s just more topographically correct.

          • MichealTurner

            What about a roast beef sandwich?

        • WisconsinPatriot

          Cheesburgers are GOOD
          This poetry is BAD
          Now, homework………first, Sonic……..later Culver’s (if you got one)
          Forget the poetry, remember the burgers.

      • froggy19510

        “If my vagina were a cheeseburger” or a sardine.
        What’s in a name? that which we call a sardine
        By any other name would smell.

      • kezkez

        Ummm … does the 2nd Amendment talk about a “well-regulated hamburger grill …” #KnowYourReferences

    • froggy19510

      Liberalism is an evil religion and abortion is it’s sacrement.

      • WisconsinPatriot

        This is my body?
        This is my blood?
        My God that is just SATANIC

    • sec818

      it also makes them freeeeeee! disgusting that people (“women”) are against this bill…absolutely disgusting.

    • CurtFrantz

      The left is obsessed with control. Lacking self-control they seek to control others and limit freedom. They are insensitive towards others so they don’t care about fetuses and growing babies, it’s all about control over “their” body (to hell with anyone else that is trying to live in it; they get no consideration). And why use a vagina in the poem? The far more appropriate body part would have been the uterus. I’m not aware of any restrictions related to vaginas (besides underage sex or incest); the restrictions pertain to the womb serving its function as the home for the pre-born. I guess a uterus in a poem isn’t as sexy as a vagina.

    • ArgieBargie

      What’s with the Right’s obsession with zygotes?

      • WisconsinPatriot

        ……can you re-phrase the question?

      • Brenda Faye Patten

        You do realize the legislation is about babies at 20 weeks, don’t you?

  • https://twitter.com/#!/TUASondrakistan The Ugly American

    If your vagina were a gun, I’d exchange it for a Ralph’s gift card… #VaginaBuyback

    • sherry8260

      Priceless LMFAO!!

    • logdogsmith

      Funniest comment yet. Figures its TUA. KIsP on.

    • Kimihiro Watanuki

      Best comment!

  • NRPax

    If your vagina was a gun, how many hours would I need to spend cleaning it because so many people used it first?

    • sherry8260

      Beautiful!! lmmfao!!

    • BlueGood

      Maybe she was inspired to pen her dumb anal~olgy because of her repeated discharges….~~ugh…..~~

    • Jeremy Ron

      LooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL

    • trixiewoobeans

      You wouldn’t have to, cause it’s “muscular and ‘magic’!”

    • Kimihiro Watanuki

      Hours and hours.

    • Ken Alan Draper

      Woah! bang! ZOOM! ouch! LOL!

  • Garth Haycock

    If your vagina was a gun, it would be recalled because it’s defective.

  • adam

    If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected,

    no matter the body count or the children affected.

    That line says it all. They choose to ignore the body count

  • RememberSekhmet

    I saw that video a while back, with ping-pong balls. Wait, these ladies were SERIOUS?

    • Kimihiro Watanuki

      Isn’t it sad they think that way?

      My spouse and I have a cat we named, Sekhmet, btw….

  • radjahshelduck

    I feel as though we’ve found Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster: we’ve finally discovered an issue where the Left does NOT want America to be more like Europe. Germany, France, and Spain don’t allow healthy babies to be aborted after 14 weeks. The proposed Texas law would give a woman up to 20 weeks.

    • ObamaFail

      Which shows how blood thirsty they are. 20 weeks is 5 MONTHS. That’s plenty of time to decide if you want to keep the baby or not. They want to be able to kill babies no matter how far into the pregnancy.

      • Orwellian_Dilemma

        Apparently the souvenir feet in jars are much more impressive if the baby is seven or eight months along.

  • The Penguin

    Hell with that..If only my gun were a vagina! What?!?!?!

    • SideshowJon36

      You’d blow your cock off?

      Wow, the Mods are gonna have a field day with this topic

      • The Penguin

        Just pointing out the absurdity of the statement. You know…sarcasm?

        • SideshowJon36

          So was I. Thought I was just playing along.

          • The Penguin

            Groovy, my bad SideshowJon.

  • TocksNedlog

    Who wants to do the smell test to see if it’s been fired recently?

    • NRPax

      Not it!

    • mwill

      lol….that’s just wrong.

    • Ken Alan Draper

      i lost my sense of smell in a terrible accident. 😉

      • SpinMeNot

        Moments ago when I shoved a masonry bit, attached to a cordless impact driver, up my nose …

  • Waynester

    If her vagina were a gun she would’ve shot herself by now.

  • BadGirloftheNorth

    If her vagina was a gun, and she had half a brain, she would understand that by extension, babies would be bullets, once loaded and fired, they would come out as a LIVE round. Holy Hannah’s Handbag – how disgusting is this analogy?? Somebody,please! Just slap her for me.

    • Thomas Darkvane

      While everyone has stated some good comments. Yours has to be the one that is truly on the mark. Too bad it would be over their heads.

      • BadGirloftheNorth

        Especially the slapping part, right?? :) Thank you.

  • AZWarrior

    If her vigina was a gun, liberals would just blow their brains out with it.

    • Marjorie

      Never take a vagina to a gunfight.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/TUASondrakistan The Ugly American

    If your vagina were a gun, I would recommend riding sidesaddle…

    • Zane Henry

      There were some good zingers in this thread, but this made me guffaw….actually guffaw.,

  • Mark Slack

    Vaginas don’t kill babies, people kill babies.

  • Im_Rick_James

    If my penis was a gun, you…. um, well, it is – watch the vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHp5yitH76M

  • porgiefirefighter

    You know in my heart, I don’t give a rat’s ass for art — especially bad poetry.

    • http://www.drudgereport.com/ Strangelove

      You could put sh*t on a shingle, call it art, and these morons would fawn all over how brilliant you are.

      • ObamaFail

        Smear it into the shape of a uterus, and they’ll carry it around at their rallies.

      • Zane Henry

        Ever heard of Damien Hirst? get a barf bag, and google him. he’s considered “Brilliant” and a “visionary”.

  • Anyone00

    How does the pro-legalized-abortion side get away with completely ignoring opposing side’s arguments?

    • grais

      Well…vagina…I think…that’s how.

    • JadePhoenix13

      They don’t have any other option…

    • pgtipsster

      Because they’re liberals and their views are in line with those who work in the MSM?

  • grais

    Embarrassing.
    smh

  • ObamaFail

    Well, since libs are so keen on background checks for guns, maybe women should have to get full tests done on their genitals, and give the results to any potential sex partners. That way, the guy can be informed before wading into waters that lib women obviously have let numerous men in (seeing as how they need the government to pay for their birth control because apparently they have so much sex).

  • WilliamAmos

    Talk about an internal holster !

  • MTPockets

    If they’d keep their vaginas holstered with the safety on they wouldn’t need late term abortions.

    • autdrew4real

      that was friggin hilarious!

  • http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/ keyboard jockey

    This is dumber than Lena Dunham, and there isn’t much dumber than Lena Dunham.

    • Terri

      Sandra Fluke is in there somewhere! Yes this is very dumb! I was trying to read it to my husband and I couldn’t for the laughing! I would have been so embarrassed for her if I had been there when she read it! Maybe it is a good thing I wasn’t there I might have gotten into trouble for laughing out loud!

  • ObamaFail

    Wait, are these liberals saying we should ban vaginas? They were wanting guns banned recently. Now they are comparing vaginas to guns. So I’m guessing we should begin lobbying against pro-vagina people who might use those vaginas for dubious purposes. To borrow the anti-gun credo, “if we could save only one life, wouldn’t it be worth it?”

  • porgiefirefighter

    I don’t want to sound indelicate, but doesn’t a gun need to be cocked.

    • ObamaFail

      Not to sound indelicate, but so do vaginas.

      • mickeyco

        After reading that, you & porgie are concerned with indelicate?

        • ObamaFail

          When dealing with baby killers, I really don’t care how delicate I do or don’t sound.

    • NixTyranny

      Chances are she’d even settle for half-cocked.

      • sherry8260

        I’m an old female and you guys are killing me. This is the funniest shit I’ve read on the ‘net all week LMAO Man humor…nothing funnier.

        • NixTyranny

          “old female” is in the eye of the beholder.

          • Zane Henry

            Easy there, tiger!

          • NixTyranny

            lol. I suspected my post would be inviting some sort of reply, possibly along the line that I was sounding like a candidate for an online dating service or some such.

      • no good deed

        May I suggest rubber bullets.

        • ObamaFail

          Rubber isn’t something pro-abortion zealots are used to. Why else would they get pregnant so often.

  • TDS

    Why is it that Liberals compare all of this crap that they WANT to RIGHTS that are guaranteed by the Constitution?

    • Hiraghm

      because they confuse the government with santa clause?

      • ObamaFail

        I’d believe in Santa quicker than I would a sane liberal.

  • V the K

    Liberal vaginas may not be guns, but many of them are deadly weapons.

    • bidentime

      Never argue with a loaded vagina.

      • Zane Henry

        that made me throw up in my mouth a little.

  • whiteinterloper

    Vaginas prefer limericks.

  • mapache

    I guess to the unborn your vagina may seem like a gun as the pathway for forceps to rip them limb from limb….you brought it up.

    • Guest

      Libs don’t realize, getting shot is a lot less horrifying way to die than being ripped apart by sharp instruments.

      • zuzu_petals

        and you would KNOW this how, exactly?
        your experience being shot? or aborted?

  • alanstorm

    Well, typically lefties have a different kind of Freudian fixation where weapons are concerned…

    She’s just being even-handed!

  • fenom23

    if your vagina was a gun, you would blame it for your baby’s death

  • Canadian in USA

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d learn to take care of it more carefully and not let anybody else handle it.

  • sybilll

    If my vagina was a gun, they’d need a permit, a background check, and proper training before anyone could use it. I like this idea. #stupidliberals

    • DisqusIsTerrible

      And they’d demand someone else pay for the bullets and maintenance!

      • NannyState1

        They do that anyway…its called welfare and free birth control!

    • Orwellian_Dilemma

      . . .and they could take it away if child support isn’t paid. Hey, I see what you’re saying. She may be on to something.

  • John Howard

    This is my vagina, this is my gun.
    One is for fighting, the other for fun.

    • Zane Henry

      That was my High School mascot. Ahh, I miss the “Fighting Vaginas”.

  • Joe Johnson

    Ummmm its not the woman’s Genitals that is at issue…nor our Guns…its the LIFE that is GROWING in the woman’s womb…NOT in the Orifice attached!

  • Kyle Bradelle

    Too bad her vag is not as useful or desirable as a gun.

  • Terri

    The pro choice people are so dramatic and intense in their screams for their right to have sex irresponsibly and then kill their babies. With this bill they have 5 months to decide whether or not to kill that baby. They are not “owned” or “enslaved”! Five months is more than sufficient time to make that decision. You would think we were over turning all of Roe Vs Wade the way the pro choice crowd is behaving! The abortion clinics need to be brought up to code and made safer so that the young girls can kill their babies more safely. No one is buying the fact that these clinics will be forever shut down and disenfranchise murderous mommy’s to be for all of time! There is way too much money in the abortion industry and unfortunately they are not going away. Planned parenthood could easily afford to upgrade everyone of those clinics if they really cared about women. Maybe if they had saved the money they spent on paying people to protest and the bus fare to bus them into Austin they could have already began upgrading on a few of the clinics. IF they really cared about women. But PP is not really about that… it is not really about women’s safety or the safety of that scared teen girl because if it was they would want the new regulations and safety measures. It is about the lack of value they place on human life…. it is about the fact that they feel like they should not have to take responsibility for the outcome of their sexual behavior. They want their cake and their dead babies too.

    • Wally West

      A thousand thumps up likes.

    • Alan Tuttle

      This issue has nothing to do with women’s rights. That is the smoke screen. It has everything to do with socialism. A component of socialism is population control – controlling the size of the population. Thomas Malthus wrote an essay named “Principle of Population”, where he thought that the dangers of population growth precluded progress towards a utopian society: “The power of population is indefinitely greater than the power in the earth to produce subsistence for man.” Stalin controlled population. Mao controlled population. Obama is totally for controlling population by smoke screening it behind things like contraception, legalized abortion, etc.

    • Orwellian_Dilemma

      Apparently for Ms. Heim, recreational abortion is not nearly as fun if the baby doesn’t scream and you don’t get the souvenir feet in a jar. (Hence the urgent need to wait at least five months to have the recreational abortion.)

  • Mary

    Keep it up ladies..if you don’t care that medical procedures are being done in unsanitary conditions, isn’t it you that are bring back the “back door abortions”?

    • ObamaFail

      When they get staph infection, we’ll all just tell them we told them so. Although, never taking responsibility for themselves, they’d just blame someone else. Which is the only defense libs ever really have.

  • DisqusIsTerrible

    If your vagina were a gun would you still be demanding the public pay for the bullets to kill your kids?

  • Bud-Kathy Jones

    If her vagina was a gun, it would have some value. Some one would desire it.

    • Richard Jefferies

      The barrel is probably shot out.

      • SpinMeNot

        And the action is probably all gummed up and full of grit …

  • Rachel S. Miller

    “Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic”? Can I shoot rainbows and moonbeams out of mine? I haven’t ever really tried.

    • Wally West

      I would love to that with my also.

  • mspaeth

    Well, at least one line in the “poem” was accurate:

    “Listen to the voices of thousands” — in a state of over 28 million….

  • CaseyGeorge

    If your vagina was a gun, should we limit how many rounds you put in it?

  • edjuk8

    I love the ‘enslavement’ comments … please.

  • Jack Deth

    You just can’t fix “Stupid”!

  • GLS

    Maybe she could submit it to Harry Reids cowboy poetry festival for consideration. I sure it would be a hit.

  • Sarah Korin

    Wth… Someone needs to clue the lefties in on 3 things 1) Nobody cares about or wants to go anywhere near any of your vaginas… Please get over that obsession. 2)Babies do not grow in vaginas. The left has issue with this, eveytime abortion comes up I have to start hearing about leftists womens vaginas. Enough already!! 3) The body of an unborn child is NOT part of your body lefties!! This is basic grade school science class stuff here. So please lefties, lets get past the vagina thing.

    • Richard Jefferies

      It’s all they’ve got. They still think it’s the 50s and hearing “vagina” is a shocking word. I feel like telling them. “Ladies, I’ve been to the Philippines, I’ve seen women shoot darts out of their vaginas, you don’t impress me.”

  • willicaroline

    Pathetic. . . . the dumbing down of women is complete. Californication of Texas underway. . . .

  • bkeyser

    If her vagina was a gun, it would probably be considerably less dangerous. And who doesn’t love the smell of gunpowder?

  • American_by_Choice

    Your vagina is not at issue.

    .
    .
    .

    BUT, if your vagina WERE a gun, you’d likely use it more responsibly…

    It seems to me that this may provide some insight into why the Left wet their collective pant over Guns, using thier reasoning, vaginas are responsible for more human death than guns…

    • Richard Jefferies

      Viginas aren’t, but abortion doctors sure are.

      • American_by_Choice

        Understood… The premise required the acceptance of the rationalization that “Guns kill People”. :)

  • Bristel

    If their vaginas were guns, they’d want the government to confiscate them. So really, this poem is entirely wrong.

  • URGR82

    If your vagina was a gun the left would confiscate it…..virtually aborting it

  • AmericaIsSick

    Only if men had the babies. We would not be talking about this

    • Richard Jefferies

      No we’d figure out how to make them happen faster or more efficiently and we wouldn’t whine incessantly about our pregnancies. When it came time to birth it, other dudes would stand around and yell “Don’t be a p***y, hurry up and finish so’s we can get a beer.”

  • Wally West

    Dear liberals. Nobody wants to control your filthy and dirty vaginas. If you actually read the bill instead of omg republicans are trying to ban abortion and control our body parts default liberal hysteria. You will see that all it does it make abortion clinics safer and up to code with hospitals regulations standards.

  • amperro

    It is time to launch an Apollo-level effort to invent and implement artificial wombs.

  • John Rebori

    “If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights”

    Is she unaware that inanimate objects, such as guns, have no rights? Rights are an attribute of living creatures.

    • Hiraghm

      like unborn babies…

  • BamaMoon

    If my child was a owl, you would stand for its rights,
    You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.
    If my child was a owl, you would treat it with care,
    You wouldn’t spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.
    If my child was a owl, you’d say what it holds is private
    From cold dead hands we could pry, you surely would riot.
    If my child was a owl, its rights would all be protected,
    no matter the body count or the owls affected.
    If my child was a owl, I could bypass security,
    Endangered Species Act would ensure I’d have impunity.

    If my child was a owl, I wouldn’t have to beg you,
    I could hunt this great land and do all the things men do.
    But my child is not a owl, it is a mightier thing,
    With a voice that rings true making lawmakers’ ears ring.
    Children are not delicate, they are muscular and magic,
    So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic.
    My children are here to demand from the source,
    Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force.

    • SpinMeNot

      Or a delta smelt .. just saying. Givin’ a shout out to the farmers of the SJ Valley.

      Good Mornin’ Ah-merrrrr-icaaaaaaa!

  • QueenB

    And if your vagina was a gun, I would tell you to pay for your own damn gun. I would tell you that you have no right to take my hard earned money to pay for the maintenance and upkeep of your gun. And of course, if your vagina was a gun, you would try to outlaw vaginas.

  • John

    That explains why they get loaded so often.

  • http://semperjase.com Jason

    If her vagina were a gun, she would need a permit to conceal it in most states.

  • Aitch748

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d be screaming for vagina control.

  • Jarhead83

    Yeah, and if your mouth were a gun, someone would need to put a silencer on it…

  • Red Fred

    LIttle poet princess, we want your vagina to have all it’s rights protected, just like we want that little one in your UTERUS protected, which should be what YOU want.

  • http://www.drudgereport.com/ Strangelove

    So it should be registered so we know who all has used it, right?

    • Richard Jefferies

      Can we have some obscure New York newspaper post the names and addresses of every woman that has had an abortion and collate them on a Google map?

      • BamaMoon

        Good one Richard :)

  • Alan Tuttle

    Progressives have a strange way of correlating a right-leaning issue with a left-leaning issue. There is no similarity between women’s rights to abortion and citizen’s rights to owning a gun. A gun is to protect us tyranny. Abortions have absolutely nothing to do with protecting the country. But, in their simple minded, top-down way of processing things, they find it funny to compare the two. I say let them have their fun on the Internet. But at the end of the day, 20-weeks is way more than enough for them to decide whether or not to abort the baby/fetus.

    One other thing regarding the abortion issue. This has nothing to do with women’s rights. That is the smoke screen. It has everything to do with socialism. A component of socialism is population control – controlling the size of the population. Thomas Malthus wrote an essay named “Principle of Population”, where he thought that the dangers of population growth precluded progress towards a utopian society: “The power of population is indefinitely greater than the power in the earth to produce subsistence for man.” Stalin controlled population. Mao controlled population. Obama is totally for controlling population by smoke screening it behind things like contraception, legalized abortion, etc.

  • http://www.drudgereport.com/ Strangelove

    Not certain many of these women have much to worry about. Shameful they bastardized the Goliad flag.

    http://www.burntorangereport.com/diary/13750/sb1-liveblog-senate-health-and-human-services-hearing-and-antichoice-sideshow

  • Heather

    that would be a great poem, if this were about her vagina. It’s not about vaginas it’s about babies.

  • Laconic

    If your Vagina was a gun…….I still would’t bang it, but I bet its been out on the range a lot

  • rusty50

    Sad

  • 277Volt

    Her vagina is more like a holster.

  • HARP2

    If your Vagina was a gun

    You would already have a round in the chamber.

  • Richard Jefferies

    What is this crap, Vogon poetry?

    “Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don’t!”

    Lets turn this around. If my gun was a vagina… see I too can write reductio ad absurdum.

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Poetry on Tamarand… #Starfire #TeenTitans XD LOL Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Steve_J

    Well it isn’t.

  • RonH

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d be shooting blanks I guess……..

  • Lord Nazh

    They do realize (ok they don’t) that guns are actually protected by the constitution and vaginas only by the penumbra o.O

  • Sean

    I had no idea abortion was about vagina rights. Well that settles it, so which amendment covers this right? Perhaps the 3rd, unlawful boarding?

  • Blu3Yeti

    Im having way to much fun on that hashtag……wayyyyyy to much fun.

  • Steve_J

    If her vagina was a gun she’d need a background check and have to endure a waiting period.

  • moral DK

    If your vagina was a gun there would be no problem. A gun needs to be cleaned and maintained in order to be used, so I’m guessing yours would never fire.

  • mhojai

    If your “gun” murdered an innocent child, you’d be in jail instead of a celebrity….moron!

  • MrApple

    “If my vagina was a gun” it would be a blunderbuss.

  • fireandreamitchell

    “If my vagina was a gun” Joe Biden still wouldn’t know the difference.

    • John Howard

      Or he’d stand on his front porch and try to fire it into the air.

  • Matthew Nelson

    OMG the ironic ignorance! This loopy woman wants to compare her ‘reproductive rights’ to a CCW? imagine how these lefties would screech if a woman were required to register with the government and get a permit to get an abortion or to buy birth control.

  • ceemack

    I’m pretty careful about who I let use my guns.

    If you were that careful about your vagina, you wouldn’t need an abortion.

  • http://www.robjonesforpresident.com/ Rob Jones

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d have a helluva time getting past TSA to board a plane.

    If her vagina was a gun, safe sex would be pretty much outta the question.

    If her vagina was a gun, living legally in Chicago would be tough to pull off.

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d probably be out protesting for hi-capacity mags.

  • Patricia

    And this “poem” is to make sense to who??? It is about the stupidest thing I have ever read with the exception of some of Nancy Pelosi’s statements.

  • GTHSBB Momma

    If this woman’s vagina was a gun, she might acknowledge that consequences can be irrevocable, and that we shouldn’t rely on the medical establishment for a fast fix to reckless behavior.

    If this woman’s vagina was a gun, she might opt to be far more discreet with it.

    If this woman’s vagina was a gun, she might recognize an obligation to take personal responsibility for who has access to it.

  • AtomicMountain

    If her vagina was a gun, cleaning it with a copper bore brush would be agonizing.

  • Kaliroy

    If my vagina were a gun, never would I marry.

    I’d keep it in the open, no need for concealed carry.

    If my vagina were a gun, what kind of gun would it be?

    A single shot or 6-shooter? No they aren’t for me.

    If my vagina were a gun, it’d be a KSG you know.

    Because it could line them up and take 14 shots in a row.

    If my vagina were a gun, it would be no pee shooter.

    I’d hit the bullseye every time with my 12 gauge pump action cooter.

    If my vagina were a gun, it would never be a puzzle.

    Everyone would know just where I’ve pointed that muzzle.

    If my vagina were a gun, not every day would be fun.

    My accidental discharges would have the boys on the run.

    If my vagina were a gun, you’d make me do a flip.

    If you enter in my barrel, and run your fingers on my clip.

    If my vagina were a gun, what a silly and strange distortion.

    Because 2nd amendment rights have nothing to do with abortion.

    • Bristel

      Oh wow. That is just wow. *raucous applause*

  • objectivefactsmatter

    “If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights. You would ride on buses and fight its fights.”

    GD leftists are so stupid. As if her vagina is regulated or even threatened with regulation.

    It only resonates with leftists on the most superficial level, and the echo chambers go nuts like they scored some intellectual points.

    We’re doomed with these idiots around.

  • Nathan Stewart
  • tjp77

    Not being able to murder children = slavery. Okay got it.

  • Rosie

    If I roll my eyes any harder, they’ll stick in the back of my head.

  • kerrari1898

    “If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights”

    No they wouldn’t. Nobody fights for the rights of guns. Guns have no rights. Pro gun types fight for the rights of citizens to bear arms. And as far as I’m aware, nobody’s advocating restricting vagina ownership.

    And if your vagina were a gun, liberals would be trying to ban it, force you to get a permit before you could own one, or at the very least, limit its capacity.

    Think your arguments through next time you feel like expressing them through the medium of appalling poetry.

    • blockthiscnn

      BAM

      • SpinMeNot

        And that is why it is best to keep a vagina safely holstered … they go off suddenly.

  • MLCross

    Why do I get the feeling that if her vagina was a gun, it’d be about an 8 gauge?

  • ogama843

    If her vagina was a gun it would look more like a penis.

  • Skeinster

    Hey, at least in her elitist efforts to communicate with us bitter clingers, she did not compare her vajayjay to a Bible.

  • SheilaK

    These twits need to get a damn grip on reality

  • blockthiscnn

    /Sarcasm

    You know, I think she’s right. I think women (since they are nothing but a vagina) are like guns; every man should own at least one.

  • Ken Alan Draper

    If her vagina was a gun, she’d need to pass a background check to get one, if her vagina were a gun she’d have to keep it clean or it would jam on her, if her vagina were a gun Gangsters would use her to murder children in the streets……whoops!

  • Ironhawk86

    If your vagina was a gun, you might act like NRA members do and maintain it yourselves without violently extorting the taxpayers to do so for you.

  • alanstorm

    Why would anyone take seriously someone who equates “able to abort up to more than halfway through term” to “enslavement”?

    And remember, this “genius” and her supporters most likely VOTE. Isn’t that a depressing thought?

  • Banned_by_KBTX

    If Katie Heim’s vagina really was a gun
    Lefties would say private citizens should not have one.
    They would call for vaginas to be banned
    And all who disagreed would be damned.
    “Sensible Vagina Control” it would be
    Called by the media in print and on TV.
    At protests each lefty activist would carry a sign
    Saying “We are the 90%” or “Save the Children”
    If Katie Heim’s vagina really was a gun
    Lefties would say only law enforcement should have one.
    Lefty professors would pontificate and lecture
    About America’s vagina culture and its great danger.
    Hollywood would call vaginas vile
    While secretly keeping a huge stockpile.
    If vaginas were guns they would be
    Hated by lefties for all eternity.

  • Paul_in_NJ

    Of course, this completely ignores the left’s other obsession: banning guns wherever and however possible. If her vagina was a gun, leftists would force her to register it with the government and then demonize her for having it.

  • hatsylady

    She doesn’t look very womanly anyway.

  • pkill

    If Her Vagina Was A Gun in NY… she could have sex 7 times in her life…there would however, be a 6-9 month period…and the Background check (for STDs) would cost more than she could make (on her back)…There would be a Photo ID listing and detailed description of her Vagina, and “associated components”, available to the News Media…. And Governor Andrew Cuomo would have his hand in it, while screaming about women’s sexual activity.

  • hatsylady

    These women have an obsession with genitalia, but little feelings for the unborn.

  • Jack Peterson

    So the author supports Muslim terrorists and baby killers. Seems about right for her.

  • Guest

    ty

  • Guest

    say huh

  • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

    Oh, my totes fave part: “If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected,
    no matter the body count or the children affected.”

    There are millions of children affected, and the body count is higher than any massacre that involved a gun. What a fucking moron.

    And since when are the rights of body parts and organs protected under the Constitution? Does her vagina have a mind of its own, or something?

  • DefCon99

    I know I set myself up for disaster, but I can’t let these tweets go unchallenged.

  • BrianPat412

    Their failure is not realizing it’s NOT all about them ! Unless a life is in danger, the justification to abort a baby days before it’s born just doesn’t exist, morally or scientifically ! Thus, it’s just them we’re supposed to think about, not the child about to be born !

    Interesting that they’ve allowed themselves to be used for population control, which is the only reason government is involved in this. Opening Planned Parenthoods and promoting them like a neighborhood McDonalds to manage the welfare population is what this is really all about, not women rights !

  • Guest

    You know something doesn’t have much value or can’t stand on it’s own when liberals are singing it’s praises.

  • LegalizeShemp

    Just listen to liberal podcasts, they have an 8th grade obsession with body parts and bodily functions that doesn’t diminish when they’re well into middle age.

  • Sua Sponte

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/loaded-gun-in-vagina-sentencing-576342
    Woman who hid loaded gun in her vagina sentenced to 25 years…

  • dunst43

    I own firearms to protect myself, to protect my family, and to have fun shooting targets. I don’t use my firearms to kill babies. Am I missing something in that poem?

    • zuzu_petals

      And women want access to abortion to protect themselves and their families
      and to be able to have all the “fun” of sexual activity with as little consequence as their male partners (as well as the freedom NOT to give birth just because she has been raped or a victim of incest).

  • TEXANONLY

    poem about murdering babies, be proud

  • laura_PH

    Not only can’t she master logical thinking, she can’t even get the grammar right. “If my vagina *WERE a gun…”
    #subjunctivemoodyoubabykillingasshole

  • Turd Burglestein

    Her vagina’s probably so huge that if it were in fact a gun she would need to load it with artillery shells.

  • Joseph Pickett

    Deep Thoughts by Complete Kooks.

  • teapartydoc

    Chopping up babies like hamburger is real important to the left.

  • Stephen Juliano

    Not sure how this really “enslaves” them. They still would have 20 freakin’ weeks to get an abortion. Doesn’t it seem irresponsible to wait that long to make your decision? Why would you suddenly change your mind?

  • Guest
  • perdogg

    What would be an assault vagina?

  • Katelyn Weber

    If vaginas were guns, they would have killed 4,794,327 less children
    between 2007 and 2010 than actual vaginas.
    Let’s get real though, vaginas don’t kill children, “women’s health”
    advocates kill children.

    Between 2007-2010 the total number of homicide firearm
    deaths of children ages 0-18 in the US was 5,673.

    The average number of abortions per year in the US is 1.2
    million. So, between 2007 and 2010,
    4,800,000 children have had the life literally sucked out of them due to
    conscious decisions made by the same people who use the deaths of children to
    advocate gun control.

    Conclusion: The numbers clearly indicate a need for vagina control, instead.

    It’s okay to be a hypocrite, as long as you’re a liberal…but we already knew that. Next…

    • zuzu_petals

      Right. Cause “penis control” is unthinkable!
      (and of course…it IS all HER fault!)

  • zj sky

    “Listen to the voices of thousands or feel their full force” – can’t hear them. They are drowned out by the voices of the millions of babies whose lives were snuffed out since Roe v Wade in the 1970s.

  • Rich Thomas

    And now you will all feel the power of this fully-armed and operational Stupid-station. How much Toxoplasmosis damage do you have to suffer in order to think that “poem” was even marginally intelligent?

  • Liberalsareblind1

    If I were a woman I would be so insulted by this type of talk. It seems to me that the left is more obsessed with a woman’s vagina than the right has ever been. Liberals honestly seem to think of a woman as being just a vagina! How insulting to women everywhere! It’s too bad that a large number of liberal women in this country can’t see or under how insulting this is.

  • $8203344

    Just clueless, using the “if my vagina were a gun” theory … Just like a gun your vagina needs bullets or to be loaded. I have always felt the “it’s my body” argument falls flat, you don’t get pregnant by yourself, stop acting as if another person isn’t involved how selfish. BTW – uterus would have been a more apt poetic image.

  • Sscud

    If my vagina was a gun I would know what was going in it and what residue it was leaving. I wouldn’t let it get used by someone and then wait more than 20 weeks to see if there were some unwanted effects from said residue.

  • HealthyAmerican

    As usual, a Lefty is far more consumed with her self-perceived cleverness than with any kind of logical modes of thinking. To use the metaphor properly, if her vagina were a gun, then this particular legal issue is actually about the preservation of the ammunition, not the chamber or delivery system.

    Good thing her mouth isn’t a gun, her foot would need some serious medical care.

  • Bodie

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have to wait 14 months for a permission
    to get an abortion
    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you wouldn’t have the
    right to have an abortion if you were taking psychotropic meds
    If your
    VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have to PROVE a GOOD medical reason to have an
    abortion
    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY and you had more than 7 condoms you
    would be charged with prostitution
    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY your name
    and address would be in a public database listing you as having abortions
    If
    your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you may ask for permission and privilege to have an
    abortion, it is not a right.
    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have
    to pay 400$ for a background check just to see if a judge decides whether or not
    you can have an abortion.
    Trust me…….you do not want to model your rights after guns. They are constantly disputed, demeaned, dictated, and directed. While women fight to gain rights, firearms owners are fighting just to keep theirs. I would rather be gaining ground than to be stonewalled and working to keep from losing it.

  • GulfPundit

    If your vagina was a gun no one would knock you up.

    The poem’s premise is also a non-sequitur, but I don’t want to think about it that much

  • zuzu_petals

    Her grammatical problems and metaphorical inconsistencies aside, I liked the poem.
    I believe that when choosing sides between the rights of the woman and the rights of the fetus inside her body…the rights of the woman always outweigh the rights of the fetus OR anyone else when it comes to what happens to her and the fetus inside her; whether I like her, agree with her, approve of her or her choices OR NOT. I am an admitted absolutist in that I believe it should be the woman’s choice right up to the time of birth.
    To stop frivolous use of abortion, we need to make safe, effective forms of conception control AND birth control available and socially acceptable to all fertile females, underage or not, for free if necessary. We need to end this obsession with saving fetuses from slaughter and start focusing on ending the slaughter of women and children and men worldwide in wars, execution chambers, and on the streets and towns and villages of the world; we need to stop our endless searching for “LOW, LOW PRICES!!!” and start considering what those low prices mean to those being paid to make those goods, the lives of misery and depravation and endless work for millions around the world so we can have shiny plastic beads to throw at topless girls at Mardi Gras, or socks at 6 pairs for 5 dollars.
    Right to life needs to mean “the right to a life worth living”, not just the right to life as fodder for war, and workers for factories, and inmates for prisons, and consumers for profit.

  • http://www.robjonesforpresident.com/ Rob Jones

    When vaginas are outlawed, only outlaws will have vaginas.

    • http://www.robjonesforpresident.com/ Rob Jones

      You can have my vagina when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

      • http://www.robjonesforpresident.com/ Rob Jones

        — something something something mandatory vagina locks —

        • Banned_by_KBTX

          And the mentally ill and criminals would not be allowed to posses a vagina (which means no Democrat could ever have one).

          • Ralph Brooks

            And you’d have to leave your vagina locked in the car since the restaurant can tell you that you can’t bring it in.

          • Guest

            No big thing. Janet Reno, Diane Feinstein, Hillary Clinton… not a vagina among them.

          • deadpammy

            Most a chicks with d i cks anway, kind of like big Sis and Hillabag.

  • WisconsinPatriot

    *snap snap snap* oooh brilliant, courageous……abortalicious!

  • Burn_the_Witch

    Well, if it were your vagina that was being killed, this poem might make sense.

  • lainer51

    After seeing your picture, if your vagina was a gun, I would DEFINITELY give up my gun!

  • Arkuy The Great

    If a vagina was a gun our daughters would not be allowed to bring theirs to school (a no vagina zone) and we could find ourselves arrested if they happened to do so unawares.
    This is beyond silly.

  • Suzanne Sheets

    so far these comments have been immature. I do not believe the bill has anything to do with being pro life, it is about control. Pro life would be the “life”not just the birth. How about that child who you are so ‘pro’ for what about their education, food and health care where do all these pro ‘life’ people disappear to then. I would be curious to know how many of these protestors are foster parents or have adopted children to show they are pro life for these kids. Do any of them realize the life part comes after the forced birth when they then need care. If some of these people put half that effort into being foster parents or mentors to these kids maybe we would have the abortion rate go down because we would not have kids having kids.

  • dreamkitten61

    If your vagina was Muslim gun you wouldn’t even care
    Cause the firing pin would no longer be there

  • Ralph Brooks

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have to wait 14 months for a permission to get an abortion;

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you wouldn’t have the right to have an abortion if you were taking psychotropic meds;

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have to PROVE a GOOD medical reason to have an abortion;

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY and you had more than 7 condoms you would be charged with prostitution;

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY your name and address would be in a public database listing you as having abortions;

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you may ask for permission and privilege to have an abortion, it is not a right.

    If your VAGINA was a GUN in NY you would have to pay 400$ for a
    background check just to see if a judge decides whether or not you can
    have an abortion.

    I strongly SUPPORT the right of women to have an abortion but this pisses me off.

    • Joe7000

      If her VAGINA was a gun she’d have problems selling it.

  • Joe7000

    If her vagina was a gun I’d be for banning it!

  • deadpammy

    so tell me again why a vagina has anything to do with the death of an unborn child? If this woman’s vagina was a gun she would have shot herself already.

  • Ralph

    Maybe “If the babies were a gun” should be right protected speech and law the left needs to think about…

  • 277Volt

    If my gun was her vagina would she rally with me to shut down legislation trying to tell me what I can and can’t do with it?

  • mspaeth

    Guns that are bought back are melted down…

    But this “poet” does give new meaning to “Fast & Furious”.

  • ObamaFail

    Zing.

  • Zane Henry

    except for when the cops charged with collecting and destroying those guns get caught, time and time again, selling them at gun shows.

  • Ken Alan Draper

    if her vagina was a gun it would be used to murder mexican police chiefs.