Rep. Joe ‘Rape Whistle’ Salazar backs Sarah Silverman’s anal probe of Gov. Scott Walker

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker yesterday signed legislation that would require women seeking abortions to obtain an ultrasound in order to help them make an informed decision. That move inspired comedian and Disney voice actress Sarah Silverman to express her desire to anally probe Walker whenever he himself needed help making an informed decision. That tweet was about as logically sound as it was classy, but it earned a retweet nonetheless from champion of (some) women’s rights, Colorado Rep. Joe Salazar.

Yes. Yes, he did.

Why, yes. Salazar, many will remember, is the Colorado Democrat who argued strenuously against allowing women the right to choose their own form of self-defense. As citizens of Colorado argued the merits of sweeping new gun control measures earlier this year, Salazar argued against concealed carry and in favor of alternatives like call boxes, rape whistles and campus “safe zones.” A ban on campus carry would preclude hysterical women from popping off rounds mistakenly in situations in which they wrongly assumed they might be in danger.

If Walker is hypothetically in danger of forced anal intrusion by Sarah Silverman, could he at least enjoy the benefit of a Joe Salazar rape kit, complete with whistle and ball-point pen? Salazar apologized “if” he offended anyone with his comments suggesting women couldn’t be trusted to recognize when they were in danger, and despite the patronizing attitude he apparently still fancies himself a champion of women’s rights.

No, but it would have been nice if screaming protesters chanting “Hail Satan” could have been on hand. It’s pro-choice tradition, you know.

Yes, Walker’s “private” signing of the bill is just another one of those tactics, like those sneaky “midnight votes” to restrict women’s rights. Of course, the only reason the Texas senate’s vote on S.B. 5 was held at midnight was because of Sen. Wendy Davis’ 11-hour filibuster delaying it until then, but … midnight!

“Secret” votes in the dead of night? That’s like signing a bill in your office on a Friday after a public hearing and several readings and multiple votes on amendments over the course of a full month. Very sneaky.

Let’s get this straight, then. A man voting to restrict a woman’s right to defend herself with a firearm if she so chooses does not fall under the “war on women,” but requiring an abortion provider to have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital does.

Many say Salazar has blocked them on Twitter rather than debate the finer points of the war on women, but he, Planned Parenthood and NARAL seems destined to be best friends forever.

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