FEMA administrator offers boating advice; Kayakin’ Kerry ignores

Breaking: Should your boating excursion go awry, it’s much easier to find you if you don’t sink. Your government is looking out for you!

But it looks like plugged-in, hard-working Secretary of State John Kerry doesn’t want to be found during his Nantucket vacay. (You know, the vacation the State Department denied.)


No life jacket? Well, when it comes to “sink or swim,” Kayakin’ Kerry never was much for swimming.

Chaos in Egypt is hard. But laser-like focus on the Nantucket Sound? Easy peasy!


Twitter user: ‘Kerry sailed right by me yesterday on the Nantucket sound’ [photo]; Update: Boston Herald confirms Kerry is on Nantucket

Another tweeter, surely mistaken, hears that John Kerry is celebrating July 4 on Nantucket

Cavalcade of conflicting info: Where in the world was John Kerry as Egypt lurched into chaos?

  • Yeah I Said It

    But…but… My government wouldn’t lie! That must be his double!

    In other news, the 80’s called. They want that haircut back, Jonny boy.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    It looks like fun, Lurch, why the long face?

    • Canadian in USA

      It’s the first time he’s had to work to get himself anywhere.

    • Terry

      He just realized he missed a spot when shaving his legs.

  • https://twitter.com/Captain_Cy_kun Cy

    Not to beat that pulpy bundle of abused flesh that vaguely looks like a dead horse, but just imagine if a Republican in Kerry’s position did this.

    • FaithColeridge33

      Condi – Shoes they beat her to a pulp. We don’t have to imagine.

  • http://Twitter.com/jkerrysforehead John Kerry’s Forehead

    Looks like he has on one of those flotation belts under his shirt.

    Spare tire

  • http://www.black-and-right.com/ IceColdTroll

    Lord, one small wave . . .

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Fortunately, the Rivers/Estuaries of east central Florida, which we sailed back in the seventies, were shallow enough that we could swim a short distance thru the channel, and walk to the shore….And, we were all great swimmers! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • FaithColeridge33

    I just don’t get why they would lie. I mean, sure, I can’t stand him but even I’m not going to get irritated if the guy takes of some time over the Fourth. What the hell?

    • trixiewoobeans

      I suspect lying is just a reflex to them.

      • $27789750

        Does appear to be automatic…but the WH set the tone with the blatant Benghazi lies. What can you expect.

      • Katherine McChesney

        Same thing for blacks who blame all their crimes on slavery.

        • beebop1952

          Especially when considering which race was doing the rounding up of talent on the African continent …

    • tnrunningmom

      Y’all are kidding, right? When I’m on vacation, I have to put the fun on hold if there’s an emergency. And I’m not Secretary of State. And my emergencies don’t involve foreign governments imploding.

      • FaithColeridge33

        Of course he should have returned. I’m saying there was no need to lie that he was there in the first place. It’s just so ridiculous.

        • tnrunningmom

          You’re right. Ridiculous and insulting – like it’s easier to assume that we’re too stupid to figure out the truth instead of just telling the truth in the first place.

  • in_awe

    Wooden blocks float. Kerry is a blockhead. Connect the dots.

    • bluewaternavy

      they should call floatation chambers in boats “John Kerry’s”

  • http://youhavetobethistalltogoonthisride.blogspot.com/ keyboard jockey

    Kerry On Benghazi: “We Got A Lot More Important Things To Move On To”

    But apparently that more important thing wasn’t the stability of the Egyptian government.

    • ObamaFail

      Obama has more important things too. His golf scores aren’t good enough.

  • Dane Gunderson

    It’s his wife’s tax-free boat… so technically Kerry wasn’t on “his” yacht.

  • OpenTheDoor

    You do know shit floats, no jackoff required.

  • jukin

    The truth is that any situation is better if Kerry is not involved. Much better.

    • wilbur

      Kerry is not so dumb; he knows he is dead weight and would not float even with the help of a vest. Why bother?

  • FFC

    Who goes kayaking with that much baggage?? Oh, of course!! Obama’s cabinet members.

  • Right Wired

    Going diving with Ted today? Wear a lifejacket, you are easier to find if you float.

  • http://www.nleomf.org/officers/ FlatFoot

    Hey! John Kerry! Stop playing with your dinghy!

  • neoface

    Kerry is so much like Obama, when the going gets tough Obama goes on a world tour, Kerry goes to his yacht. Two peas in a same pod?

  • abe-froman

    Wow John …pretty “swift boat” wouldn’t you say?

    • dinkerduo

      :) :) :)

  • Katherine McChesney

    It appears that Lurch has a Milwaukee blister. There’s a bulge around his waist.

  • Axelgreaser

    From the shore: “Look Mommy, It’s Elvira Gulch from THE WIZARD OF OZ! She’s throwing candy to us kids. Is it alright to eat it?!” Mother: “No dear, those are #9846 1.oz Ketchup Paks dear, at $46.50/1000. Isn’t he wonderful!? Finally a Secretary Of State that doesn’t take a day off!” (Hollering) “Sir! We’ll take 2 cases. They look easy to swallow, will store well and will be nice to have on hand once beef is affordable again!”

  • Smeethow

    Looks like he was missing in action just like Hillary was during Benghazi.