Rep. Hank Johnson’s ‘world without balloons’ speech meant to ‘deflate GOP message machine’

Helium does have other uses besides making party balloons float: it’s used in MRI scanners, for example. But … what about the balloons? The House voted today 394–1 to maintain America’s Federal Helium Program, and Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) very likely credits himself with bringing Democrats and Republicans together to avert the nightmare scenario of a world without ballons.

What kind of monster votes against helium?

Perhaps not thrilled to be the subject of another sure-to-be-viral video, Rep. Johnson issued a tweet to clarify that his remarks were only a moment of “levity.” He was being sarcastic, you guys.

  • Candy Ohara

    Yet they’ve still done nothing about GUAM! Poor poor Guam.

    • 2ifbyT

      People on Guam will need those balloons when it tips over.

      • TugboatPhil

        If they’d just put the helium balloons on the “heavy” side of the island, it wouldn’t tip over.

        • Cool_Arrow

          Every GI who sets foot on Guam should be required to carry a balloon.
          Unless said GI is light in the loafers already
          Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • Beth Lott

      I thought this was the Guam guy. I’m amazed that he’s showing his face in public again.

      • trixiewoobeans

        No hope for a dope!

      • Rene Demonteverde

        His constituents re elected him. Must have the same mentality that supported Alvin Greene.

  • Guest
  • patrick quinn
  • Clayton Grant

    So that’s what’s been keeping President Obama’s ego inflated.

  • Mike Hunt

    Maybe they can take the helium, make BIG BIG balloons and attach them to Guam so the military can use it and not have it tip over. This guy is smarter than we think…

  • Cy

    Wow the GOP wasted two WHOLE days not doing anything about jobs? They’re well on their way to catching up to Obama’s 1700+ days. Better watch out.

    • Clayton Grant

      I hate it when somebody out-satires me. Quit it!

      • RblDiver

        Sounds like someone needs a pick-me-up balloon!

    • ceemack

      I’ve lost count of the number of jobs bills the House has passed, only to see them never even considered in the Democrat-controlled Senate. The number was fourteen or fifteen, last time I looked.

      You might want to read a little more.

      • Guest

        You might want to get your sarcasm gene looked at. It appears to be defective.

    • sue

      Good one, Cy!

  • AmericanInfidel

    Imagine a congress without buffoons.

    • trixiewoobeans


    • Michelle


    • Guest

      I wonder if I can get some gubmint money to study how; out of all the buffoons in America, so many end up as politicians.

      • kim

        you’d probably get more by studing the effects of helium ballons on congressional members

    • TocksNedlog

      Sounds like a vacant House.

    • Ken Alan Draper

      If balloons are outlawed, then only outlaws will have balloons.

  • jamesben

    Well, without helium Hank’s head would collapse and hang over his shoulder – sort of to the back…and no one would notice the difference.

    • trixiewoobeans

      Is that why they call him Little Red Riding Hank?

  • jamesben

    Hold on here, Hank’s “on to something,” we should get GIANT BALLOONS and attach them all around the edge of Guam – Guam doesn’t sink, helium is used for the betterment of humanity – win – win.

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      What about the Hawaiian Islands (our “Fearless Leader’s” “Home State?”) Or Puerto Rico? Or Cuba? Or Domenica (Domin.Republic/Haiti)? If we use ALL of our helium to keep Guam afloat, how will we keep all those other Islands out there afloat? (Forget Monserrat, we’ve already lost that one to the Volcano #JimmyBuffett) Jawamax 8<{D}

  • 912er

    I always knew these leftists had globophobia.

  • Randy W

    Helium balloons? Like the ones that get you arrested with a felony charge? Those balloons?

    • just Dave

      thanks for giving me yet another reason to weep at night

  • Michelle

    I’m confused. Johnson tweeted that the GOP wasted two days on discussing the helium bill? Didn’t I just watch a video of Hank Johnson giving an incredibly stupid speech about helium, balloons and high pitched voices, riddled with some seriously lame puns? If he was concerned about a waste of time, why did he make that totally unnecessary and juvenile speech?

    • Clayton Grant

      It’s that (D) after his name. Stands for Dishonest.

      • Kathy

        Or dumb butt

        • Chris Chambers

          I am afraid he was serious. He is not known as the sharpest knife in the drawer….full of butterknives.

          • Kyle Schroeck

            He isn’t the sharpest crayon in the shed.

        • trixiewoobeans

          Or dummkopf.

      • Ken Alan Draper

        actually it stands for Dumbass. this guy thinks that islands are free floating in the ocean & if you put too many people on them they’ll capsize. he actually said this a couple of years ago when questioning a navy Admiral about basing more Marines on Guam.

  • $2943864

    I thought most of the helium came from Amarillo – don’t Dhimmicrats hate west Texas?

  • CombatDiver

    In Hanks world, he could take all the helium balloons and keep Guam from flipping over.

    • Kenai

      Yes, but if you used too many, it might pull the earth out of orbit. We could run into the moon or somepin’.

  • J.N. Ashby

    Thing this bell end doesn’t get is that once all the helium is gone, we literally can’t get more. Unless we build a fusion reactor, of course, but hippies won’t let that happen.

  • BAW

    I thought Johnson’s Guam stupidity was because he’d been sick and his medication was off. What’s the new explanation?

    • TocksNedlog

      His microphone was turned on.

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        @BAW @TocksNedlog …And his lips were moving… Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Just Another Guy

    Politicians used to bring their own hot air….now they want to tap the helium reserves???

  • YERMOM182

    If we get rid of all the balloons how are we going to keep the islands afloat? Think of the islands people…. THE ISLANDS!!!

    • Silenttype78

      Heh…had to check but was pretty sure this was the same guy that worried about Guam tipping over.Amazing – people vote for these idiots!

  • Chris Chambers

    “Linda Sanchez was the sole no vote on helium bill. Was unintentional. Sending letter to House Clerk to note her intended support of bill.”

    “Oh crap! I have a vote recorded against smiles and high pitches clown voices! Change my vote!”

  • Garth Haycock

    I hate balloons. My representative better be the one who voted against this.

  • Kev_H

    The less congress does, the better unless they are shutting down programs, paying off debt or reducing taxes.

  • SJ’s Dad

    Deep Thoughts . . . by Hank Johnson
    If Guam tipped over, would Talofofo Falls become Talofofo Fountain?

  • TocksNedlog

    We need to maintain the helium reserve.

    If for nothing else, then at least to keep the Vice President’s head above water!

  • Sean Minturn

    What if we’re attacked by zeppelins now?

  • kim

    Ok. so he is trying to save helium in case Guam tries to capsize and he needs to keep one side afloat

  • Jer

    The real reason for Hank “Capsize” Johnson’s so concerned about balloons – he had a plan to attach four billion of them to one side of Guam to keep it from tipping over.

  • $472942

    Maybe we could use all our helium balloons to make sure that Guam doesn’t tip over…

  • ozconservative

    Just in case you all have forgotten….

  • Steve_J

    He has to make up his mind, which is worse a world without balloons or Guam tipping over.

  • Abiss

    America NEEDS Hank Johnson. Someone has to make Joey Choo Choo look teh smaht.

  • Right Wired

    This guy is getting paid a six-figure salary.

    • Red Fred

      My God. The lunatics really are running the asylum.

  • Ron Morisseau

    PEOPLE, How do you think we’re going to stop Guam from tipping over…BALLOONS

    THAT’S HOW!!!


    Hank Johnson is a genius

  • Brian H (wackobird)

    Follow me on this………if we drilled holes in Guam, and pumped the entire helium reserve into these holes……would it keep Guam from flipping over???

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    With all the Hot air and gases the Liberal Democrats produce, I think the Gov’t could come out ahead on this deal.. XD Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Herman LaClair

    the helium reserve they speak of is in the heads of our so-called representatives.

  • Jim Denney

    That “tips” the scale in Hank’s favor for me, I’d vote to keep him in congress just for the comedy gold.

  • sickofitall1096

    I prefer to imagine a world without ignorant libs such as yourself Hank.

  • RonP

    The guy is an idiot. Mocking the House for spending two days on the bill, Does he not know that the US has 95% of the world’s supply of helium, and that once it’s gone, there will be no more? Probably not. He’s a moron.

  • Dane Gunderson

    Maybe Hank Johnson(D) could use all those government subsidized balloons to keep Guam from sinking?

  • sue

    But it’s just fine to shove an unwanted health care bill and “law” down at us!

  • RedSoloCup

    Guess Hankie forgot about that balloon, that is his head.

  • salvagesalvage

    It’s actually a serious problem that will need to be addressed but winguts! Can never really figure out what is important and what isn’t.

  • Rene Demonteverde

    And Democrats called Sarah Palin dumb.

  • Rene Demonteverde

    And Democrats called Sarah Palin dumb.