Irritable vowel: Alan Colmes tries to make Rep. Bachmann look dumb, fails miserably

Man. It’s been a rough day for Alan Colmes. First he makes an ass out of himself by professing his sympathy for the America-hating mother of the accused Boston bombers.

Then, he attempts to make Rep. Michele Bachmann look foolish for misquoting Shakespeare, only to wind up with all the egg on his face.


We grabbed a screenshot for posterity, natch:

Screen Shot 2013-04-26 at 1.32.13 PM

Oh dear. That’s quote embarrassing, Alan. Could it get any worse? Yes. Yes it could.

Here’s what viewers see when they click on the link in his tweet:

Screen Shot 2013-04-26 at 1.35.49 PM

Bachmann may not have quoted Shakespeare correctly, but Colmes’ vowel confusion doesn’t exactly enrich his own literary credibility. Pro tip, Alan: Spellcheck can be your friend. Don’t fight it.

Epic fail? Most indeededly.



Hey master grammarian Piers Morgan, ‘your’ a doofus

  • Brenda Xtravaganza

    Well….did she quote it incorrectly or not?

    • grais

      Yeah, like almost everyone else who ever does. I can’t recall Ever hearing the exact quote from Anyone.
      But it has to be a bfd because Bachmann was speaking the truth about sequestration.

    • aegean1

      Hell, it’s Shakespeare, does anyone quote it correctly? HE couldn’t even quote himself, that’s why he kept making up words.

    • Sons Thunder

      It’s silly stuff like this that low-info voters love. It’s why Twitchy is full of comments about Obama saying “Jedi mind meld.” It’s also why Twitchy ran multiple pieces on that important topic.

      • shimauma

        I come to conservative websites to see subjects that amuse me and share thoughts with other conservative folks, but I can’t for the life of me understand why libturds like yourself show up to whine and complain. do you need attention that your mommy didn’t give you? are the huffpo folks too ignorant for your narcissistic proclivities to be fulfilled?

        • Sons Thunder

          I enjoy engaging with intelligent people who may disagree but share an interest in honest and consistent debate.

          It can also be fun to meet people like you. People who use ‘libturd’ and think it’s clever. People who feel a need to attack on a personal level and make sad attempts at armchair psychiatry. People who never have anything useful or constructive to add to the conversation. I looked over your past comments and it seems you primarily post to whine about ‘libturds’ or to obsess over gay sex. You have an obvious fascination with analingus.

          People like you are, unfortunately, the norm but I have met some good friends at conservative sites and I don’t plan on running off just because an unhappy woman with some unusual sexual fixations (I’m not a psychiatrist – not making a diagnosis) has tried to attack me by attacking my mother.

          • shimauma

            I think your view of “honest and consistent debate” is “hey look at me!! I’m disagreeing with you!!! please somebody notice!!” I do apologize for feeding your comsumptive little ego though; it is cruel to offer pure water to someone who can only digest crap. Here’s hoping you and your momma come to an accord, sweetie!

          • Sons Thunder

            You just can’t seem to help referencing the anus. All this drama under a headline based on an irritable bowel syndrome pun. Fascinating!

    • Julie the Jarhead

      I’ll bet you a bag o’ donuts that ol’ Alan couldn’t tell you the exact quote, either.

  • The Monster
    • shimauma

      LOLs c wat u dode thar

  • Spatial Awareness

    Karma. Delicious Karma.

  • jsmithcsa

    Colmes is an a$$

    • Brett McMicken


      • Garth Haycock

        *ahem* I think you mean quote.

        • Brett McMicken


    • Rob M

      colmes looks like a burn victim ala fire marshall bill (google it if you dont know who fmb is lol)

  • grais

    Focusing on her misquote (while misspelling a common word-lol) is the only way he can bypass any thought about ,or address of , the topic of her speech.
    It’s as obvious, and as laughable, as his hideously dyed hair.

  • Joe W.

    Is it just me, or does Alan Colmes look like a mortician??

    • Spatial Awareness

      I think he’s the corpse.

    • Steve_J

      He reminds me of Skeletor.

    • Brett McMicken

      the cryptkeeper

      • Cool_Arrow

        He hasn’t changed much over the years.

    • CatHerder

      Nah, Morticia was a lot prettier.

    • cscape

      more like the object of the mortician’s labors

    • 96leroy

      Like most liberals, he’s dead inside.

  • Agent_Zeero

    This is a bit of a nitpick. But, they both look like asses, because the word “protest” in this quote doesn’t mean what either of them (or the majority of people) think it means. In the time that Shakespeare wrote “Hamlet”, the word ‘protest’ meant “to affirm” or “declare”. I know people try to sound cultured and edumacated when they use this quote. But clearly many have no idea what they are quoting.

    • Sons Thunder

      I had forgotten that. Thanks for taking me back to H.S. English class!

      I can understand why the misunderstood usage is the most common. Just today, a friend of mine was telling me his drama. His girlfriend’s mad because she thinks he was hitting on another woman. I started out thinking he was innocent. By the twelth time he explained to me why he was innocent, I began to have my doubts :-)

      • Julie the Jarhead

        It’s like watching COPS and listen to the alleged perps talk and talk and dig themselves deeper and deeper.

        Did you friend used phrases such as ‘honest to God’ and ‘I swear on my mother’s life’?

        • Sons Thunder

          As far as the truth of my story, I really did read Hamlet in high school. I loved Mrs. Couch – she was a powerhouse of a teacher and told us that ‘protest’ had a different meaning.

          The story about my friend’s is mostly true. Twelve times might have been a slight exaggeration but I liked the Twelth Night allusion. Also ‘hitting on’ was a euphemism for ‘having sex with’ but I thought it made the same point without offending the sensibilities of some of the posters here.

          I thought I left a really nice comment. I very much appreciated the comment by @Agent_Zeero:disqus and I don’t know why anyone downvoted my comment. I think they doth protest too much.

          • Guest

            I wouldn’t worry about the down-votes. May be just trolls; or, I have hit the ‘down vote’ button by accident once or twice myself.

          • Julie the Jarhead

            My apologies for the misunderstanding — I was referring to your friend in my comments and when I used ‘alleged perps’.

            And I do not believe I ‘down-voted’ your comment, though I have done so to others’ comments in the past by accident.

          • Sons Thunder

            LOL — I guess I was being defensive because I couldn’t believe anyone would downvote what I considered a nice little comment :-)

            And I have no idea who the culprits were – I certainly wasn’t accusing you!

            Not that I understand your true intent, yes, it was a bit like listening to someone explain to a cop why the contraband in their pocket belongs to someone else.

  • Leon O’Dell

    “Methinks the woman doth protest too much.”

  • Steve_J

    Combs butter b carful or he cld and up da rmy in Aghanistan wit all de udder unedukated peepole, ask Carry.

    • TugboatPhil

      That’s still funny!


    Liberals are quick to denounce all arguments if they spot a typo.

    • Sons Thunder

      @Twitchy Staff is full of liberals?

      • shimauma

        sons thunder is full of crap?

        • Sons Thunder

          You use libturd in half of your posts. You say I’m full of crap. You are constantly bringing up anal sex and analingus. As I said, I’m not a psychiatrist but it’s hard to avoid your anal fixation.

  • Lori Rodriguez

    ha! that would be “grammar” check, not spellcheck. His misused word is spelled correctly.

    • Julie the Jarhead

      As I always tell people: Spell check won’t catch it if you leave the “l” out of “public.”

  • syvyn11

    Colmes is trying to do his Olbermann impersonation. Olby had a habit of jumping on Bachmann and other conservatives when they misspelled or misquoted anything. It was the greatest crime against humanity.

    And it’s working for that hack, Alan like it did for that hack Keith.

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Of course Alan Colmes knows EVERYTHING, he’s a Liberal! /sarc Jawamax 8<{D}

  • TocksNedlog

    He COULD refute the substance of what she said, be he don’t wanna.

  • michael s

    Colmes should’ve pointed out how Alexandria Mundy is being investigated by the same people she wanted to investigate Huma Abedin. Both need proofreaders.

  • Wag_a_Muffin (D)

    Alan, do you mind if I quite you on that??

  • Murphy Linn Spears

    quote being so mean to Allen

  • cscape

    in Colmes’ defense, on the keyboard, the “I” is directly adjacent to the “O”….. that said, there is NO KEYBOARDING excuse to account for his being 180 degrees out of phase for virtually every position he espouses!

  • cscape

    it sounds like Shakespeare, but allow me to quote John Adams…. (Alan should take note of this) “Facts are Stubborn Things”

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      Did he really say that? Fascinating!

      • cscape

        yes….. he was the counsel for the British Soldiers who were on trial for the Boston Massacre (1772)

  • BigTBoom

    Spell check will not catch the wrong word spelled correctly quite as well as proofreading does.

    • shimauma

      “quote as well”…yeah I know it’s getting old.

  • Cool_Arrow

    Alan Colmes #epicfool

  • NixTyranny

    Wow, I’d bet Alan Colmes his thinning hair, too.

  • capisce

    Colmes would rather she “misquite” Alinsky, Soros or Marx.

  • Sinjun

    taking bets that Colmes will blame his researcher just like Juan Williams

  • Bill Board

    Maybe Bachmann couldn’t bring herself to refer to Piglosi as a “lady”?

  • Liberals Needhelp

    Gee, she got the EXACT wording wrong…but, the gist of the quote was correct…and we, and he, got that immediately.
    What a moron.
    Please put the Quote-A-Meter on Obama, Biden (that would be one fun tracking), Pelosi, Reid, Matthews, etc.

  • teamfrazzled

    Typical cheap liberal stunt pretending her misquote totally negates her argument -because he can’t win that debate, can’t win an honest debate about what she was saying -and he knows it. So throw dust in everyone’s eyes and distract them with this instead. I can’t stand that pompous clown.

  • brucevbracken

    @alancolmes and Emily Latella: separated at birth?

  • Thomas Collins

    Alan Colmes makes the rest of us look like geniuses by comparison to himself.

  • neoface

    No one can trump Colmes on stupidity!!!!!

  • Julescat

    Colmes floating eye missed that one

    • 912er

      Monica Crowley’s sister must have 2 floating eyes

  • BenY

    It’s not hard for Colmes. One of the stupidest libtirds to get a mic, and there countless to choose from.

  • chetnapier

    my favorite Shakespeare quite has something to do with lawyers