Ahoy Captain Morgan: Twitter floats #PiersBoatNames

Piers Morgan demonstrated his one-of-a-kind eye for journalism last night during the tense Dzhokhar Tsarnaev standoff by asking the question that was on exactly no one’s mind at the time: “Imagine if that’s YOUR boat.”

Not even a White House petition has managed to unmoor Morgan from his desk at CNN, but if all of the big scary guns in America do drive him back across the pond, Twitter has plenty of #PiersBoatNames for his escape vessel.

Keep ’em coming, Twitter; you’d know he’s reading these.

  • TocksNedlog

    Half-Mast on the Poop Deck

    • E Quilibrate

      Or is it half-poop on the mast deck?

  • Garth Haycock

    HMS Ovary

  • kch50428

    #PiersBoatNames Insufferable Lout

  • CatHerder

    #PiersBoatNames Out to Launch

  • CatHerder

    #PiersBoatNames Bass Ackwards

  • BrendaStarr

    HMS Shameless Git

  • Kristy Patullo

    Take A Long Walk Off A Short Piers.

  • BrendaStarr

    Ship Head

  • BadGirloftheNorth

    Captain Morgan’s Ass Kraken

  • Tom Anderson

    I love twitter! Ive had some really good LOLs after a really long week! Thank you tweeters!

    #PiersBoatNames The HMS Bullchit

  • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

    I think HMS Royal Arse nails it!

    • CatHerder

      I’m holding out for Idi Yacht 😉

      • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

        I’d give that a VERY close second!

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Is “royal” another form of the word “horse?”

      • E Quilibrate

        Well done.

  • Orlando Cee

    The Poncey Pouf

  • CatHerder

    HMS Why Parse?

  • CatHerder

    HMS Lympryst

  • CatHerder

    HMS Freudian Sloop

    • Ken Alan Draper

      I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there!

  • http://twitter.com/canuck_sense canuck

    HMS AssCracker.

  • Clayton Grant

    HMS Ship For Brains
    The Salty Swallow

    • angeleyez

      CNN Stinker . #2 . Pile-A-Ship . ByeByeTurdie . CourtesyFlusher .
      GAG-A-MAGGAT . DaRuns . . . . . ( This – is – CNN )

    • William T Branch

      The Salty Swallow ROTFLMAO good one

    • E Quilibrate

      Now I’ve a choice to make.

  • $472942

    I must say, Idi Yacht works the best for me! Bravo, Chris Barnhart!

    • ChrisBarnhart

      Thank you! Tip your waitress.

    • E Quilibrate

      Gets my vote.

  • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

    HMS Beta Male

  • Adi

    HMS Titanic.

    • Adi

      HMS Queen Morgan.

  • Frank Drebin

    Let’s just call it CNN, and heave the Anchor overboard.

    Port side, of course.

  • http://twitter.com/Mollymootoo Denise Ei

    Thanks to all of the creative people out there!! Too, too funny and too many that are so appropriate

  • Steve_J

    (How low can you go)

  • Ken Alan Draper

    any ship captained by morgan will have a rudder that can only go Hard-A-Port. (far left)

  • descolada9

    HMS The Ghoul

  • mdtljt

    My favorite – Idi Yacht…
    My contribution – King of Dumbf*ckistan

  • LegalizeShemp

    I’d christen it “Pierced Organ”

  • stillinthe60s

    PiersBoatNames: HMS Colossal Numb Nut$
    HMS Ship of Fool. HMS Mopey Dick

  • GMMI

    HMS Stupid Ass

  • arrow2010

    When will this fool be dropped from CNN?

  • marcellucci

    The CNN Titanic….

  • http://twitter.com/InformedNow InformNow


    • Guest

      The Wasted Seaman

  • jpowerhouse

    De Port Piers

  • http://www.freedomreconnection.com CO2 Producer

    Gone Bitchin’
    Fish’n Chips On My Shoulder
    The British Bannacuda
    Gunion Grabber
    Call Me Attention Whore
    The SS Blustering Booty
    Carpe Diarms

    • E Quilibrate

      Last one is best.

  • capisce

    USS Anti-Constitution

  • HARP2

    If you use a boat for your escape…..make sure it is IN the water first.

  • Adela Wagner

    “The Master Baiter”

  • Adela Wagner

    HMS Seanile
    HMS Breakin’ Wind

  • SameJerkDifferentName

    There were some really good ones, any of them would do, just as long as he doesn’t try to use mine. It’s on loan from someone serving 10-15 for trafficking. -jk-

  • JR48

    HMS Asshat

  • ClinkinKY

    But…but…he has such a “cool” accent.

  • gracepmc

    The Saturday Night Special

  • trixiewoobeans

    SS Dipship

  • jojofido

    HMS grave dancer

  • Stan

    Capt. Piss Morgan on the HMS Assault Ship Rubbish.

  • 24fan

    sea-minus had me rolling awesome titles.

  • cscape

    RMS Pedantic

    • cscape

      A pedant is a person who is excessively concerned with formalism and precision, or who makes a show of his or her learning.

      • Jason Call

        That’s awesome! You’re smart. Will you help me think of a really good comeback for the next time I get called a sycophant?

    • cscape

      history buffs will note that this is also a play on the ill-fated RMS Titanic

  • cscape

    Her Majesty’s Barque (HMB) Pretentious

  • cscape

    the newest BS carrier in her majesty’s fleet…. the ARSE ROYAL

  • KansasGirl

    So clever.
    I know lol is used too often…but I actually did.

  • Red Fred

    A T. Kincannonism, “Dick Basket.”

  • Jason Call

    Pirate Chum

  • G.

    All aboard the HMS Hemorrhoid….a pain in the ass that comes in but never goes back.