#WhyAustin: Mockery meets Kim Jong Un’s threat to strike Austin, Texas

Time for some more saber-rattling from North Korea. Kim Jong Un has vowed to strike targets in the United States, including Washington D.C., Los Angeles and Austin, Texas.

Austin? Really?

As always, North Korean threats go down best with a mockery chaser.

Rather than cowering in fear, Twitter users are asking — and answering — #WhyAustin?

And one for pro-wrestling fans:


Keep ’em coming, Twitter!

  • http://deadbuffaloblog.blogspot.com/ DeadBuffalo Blog

    Kimmy wants to nuke LA, DC, and hippie haven Austin, TX. Maybe he’s not as much of an enemy as we thought…

    • RblDiver

      That’s what I was thinking. Is he trying to get conservatives on his side? This war’s sounding better and better >.>

      • http://twitter.com/KayGester KayGee

        Damn, and here I was, seriously hoping Obama could live up to the expectations set by his predecessor and take us into a new war with NK in order to separate lil’ Kim’ from his paper mache WMDs and play-dough Nukes. Because someone needs to do that.

    • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

      Bomb LA, DC & Austin?? Promises, Promises.

      • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

        C’mon…..Stevie Ray Vaughn is from Austin. Have a heart…….

        • 1SkepticalChick

          Quick, trucks to Austin to rescue the music, Blues Museum, and Stevies statue. Meet up in LaGrange, ZZ Top is waiting to help unload! Ok, that may not be what they are doing in LaGrange at the moment…

        • truckee22

          Actually, he was born and raised in Dallas (Oak Cliff). I think he moved to Austin at 18.

      • C…

        so he wants the democratic capitals of the US… hmmmm.

    • Stone Bryson

      As I was reading above I was formulating my comment… then when I got to this section I discovered it was already posted by you. Well said, sir!

    • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

      I just don’t think Lil Kim is accurate enough with the nukes to ACTUALLY follow through on his promises…..I mean, can you imagine a world without a nice size chunk of California! Its exciting…….but not as exciting as a world without DC! I don’t think a N Korean dictator could find Austin on a map. I see a couple of really poorly constructed missile looking thingies flipping over after takeoff and WASTING Pyonyang.

      • http://twitter.com/hugabugs KWalms

        Oh, my…not as exciting as a world without Chicago…from an Illinois down stater. #secedefromchicago

      • jebjr

        I think he probably found Austin on a map by using the old throw a dart at a map of the world trick!! Too bad it didn’t land in NK.

  • bb8689

    Let’s see, he’s a goofy little guy, he pretends he
    is in the military, and he wants to nuke Austin. Yep, Kim is definitely
    an Aggie.

    • mike_in_kosovo


  • waltermitty2012

    Dennis Rodman, where are you? You friend in North Korea needs a time out.

    • uselogic19

      That’s the problem. He probably got a geography lesson fro Rodman.

      • 1SkepticalChick

        Rodman doesn’t live in Austin by any chance does he?

  • CatHerder

    Dang it, not Austin! It’s a hunting preserve, where we keep all our liberals!

  • http://twitter.com/jimni27 Jimni27

    Saw G I Joe: Retaliation yesterday and they REALLY went to town mocking Un/ N. Korea regarding nukes. I wonder if he hated the movie 😉

  • http://www.facebook.com/joseph.a.white.16 Joseph A White

    He picked Austin because that’s where we Texans keep our liberals, gays and Muslims.

    • http://twitter.com/swaushorn Bobby McBride

      Hey, I’m none of the above and live here – go easy! There’s a few of us that like the wackiness, without the baggage!

      • Margaret Price

        That’s totally because of the bag ban, right?

        He must’ve gotten stuck in traffic on I-35 or Mopac.

    • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

      Don’t you hide all the BBQ there too?

  • Right Wired

    I’m guessing a dart board and a blind fold were used in the site selection.

  • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

    #WhyAustin ??? #WhyNot >:^/

    • Jack Deth

      #WhyAustin: Because nuking Baltimore could only improve the state of Maryland?

      • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

        I’ll give you that. ~_^

  • bobby parnell

    he’s obviously upset that his cable provider doesn’t carry the Longhorn Network

  • Adi

    He’s a big fan of “Dallas” so obviously he wants Houston to be the greatest city in Texas. Come to think, Kimmy Jr. is pretty much of a conservative.

    Also I had my terrier win a dog show in Austin, maybe that’s another reason.

    • 1SkepticalChick

      Dogs and BBQ, I’d say you might have him pegged!

  • AaronHarrisinAlaska

    I can hear the conversation in the war room now “Fuck Washington. Fuck LA. And fuck this place right here for no particular reason.”

    • 1SkepticalChick

      Snort! If you don’t tweet that under #whyaustin I’ll steal it and do it myself! You win!
      (I shared you!)

    • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

      THANKS!!!!! Beverages everywhere!!!

    • JustLikeAnimals

      Too damn funny!!!!!!!

    • Wiz


  • Squirrel!

    Not only to wipe out the BBQ reserves, but also the marijuana reserves, and he finds Willie Nelson’s voice offensive. Sorry, not a liberal, but I do LOVE Austin, and Willie Nelson is my all time favorite entertainer. Maybe he figures wiping out the capital city of the strongest state in our union would drag the rest down. I’m fine with DC & LA as well as Hawaii taking a hit as long as Cruz, Paul & Lee can evacuate DC in time. Alright, y’all can down vote my comment now. :-)

    • truckee22

      I love Austin to. Great town and even though it is a town full of hippies, it’s stil a fun and welcoming place. Pretty tolerant people there.

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        Screw Kim “Ill” Yung, he can Nuke himself! #DONTMESSWITHTEXAS Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Randy W

    He will be asking for 100 Billion dollars later today

    • disqus_eric

      1 meeeeehliun dollars!

    • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

      A’La Dr. Evil????

      • Randy W

        Yep 😀

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Aw. Just like daddy…he’s ronery.

  • kch50428

    Why Austin, TX? Samsung – that South Korean mega-rich corporation has a huge presence there.

    • Heather_A

      I like this theory. But needs more mockery.


      • Margaret Price

        Because hating on Dell is passe.

  • rivers

    Because an attack on Portland = no more Portlandia, and he’s a huge fan.

  • dunst43

    EXCLUSIVE VIDEO!!!! Chuck Hagel negotiates with Kim Jong Un


  • me

    We’ve established via Dennis Rodman that Kimmie is an NBA fan. Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio have NBA teams. Austin was doomed by default.

    We can also surmise by his targeting LA that he is not a Lakers fan. I’d mention the Clippers, but no one outside LA knows who they are, so we can’t expect Kimmie to know them either.

    • 1SkepticalChick

      Yep. Austin’s kind of int the middle of all those. If he hits Austin he might take out the other 3 with the fallout.

  • Jack Deth

    Kim Jung Un: The Elmer J. Fudd of political tinpot dictators.

    Kim is vewy, vewy angwee that he has to re-route his missile guidance tech support through India to get them off the ground. Stuff like that shouldn’t be outsourced!

    Might explain his goofy haircut, too.

    • JR48

      *slow golf clap*

  • Mark James

    Any country that threatens the United States with nuclear attack should be instantly obliterated.

    • disqus_eric

      Not with our Wimp-In-Chief.

      • Chrissy the Hyphenated

        Nah. He’ll just send Dennis Rodman back for more High Level Diplomacy.

        • http://twitter.com/BrianPHovland Brian H (wackobird)

          Do they smoke pot there?

          • JoH113

            NK would be a terrible place to get the munchies.

  • DurkaDurka

    I agree with Kimmie. We should nuke Austin too. It’s the only city in Texas where Liberals are allowed to exist.

    • 1SkepticalChick

      It’s just storage. We have to park them somewhere.

  • Glitter

    Maybe it will clear up the traffic down there.

  • http://twitter.com/Stimulus4U Marty Luther

    #WhyAustin? He’s starting with the a’s, Austin Texas, and working his way down to Zebulon, North Carolina

  • GaryTheBrave

    Maybe Waco sounds Korean.

  • capisce

    Not even Kim wants a piece of Chicago.

  • Bryan

    Someone needs to create a map of the most nukable cities in the US and send it to him. DC is first on my list. LA is a good close 2nd. Not sure about Austin being 3rd…Houston might be a better target. If I were any good at flash programming, I’d make an online game where people could vote which cities to nuke.

    • GaryTheBrave

      The image of the multiple missile attacks in “War Games” come to mind.

      “Professor, would you like to play a game?”

  • Chrissy the Hyphenated

    It’s hard to take a guy seriously who apparently patterned his military’s uniforms on Spaceballs costumes.

  • JamesTheTexian

    Why would he Nuke the last bastion of liberal stupidity in Texas?

  • Laconic

    He probably meant Stone cold Steve Austin, or even Austin Powers International Man of mystery, he does seem to gravitate to over the hill pop culture icons.

  • JoH113

    Austin??? What’s wrong with Chicago and/or NYC?

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      NOT NEW YORK CITY! I know they have that numbskull Herr Bloomberg (SEIG HEIL!), but I have relatives that live all over the area!!! Jawamax 8<{D}

  • sqeptiq

    Now Twitchy needs a second article: “#WhyAustin: Twitchy commenters meet Kim Jong Un’s threat to strike Austin, Texas with enthusiasm and entreaties to nuke other liberal cities.”

  • Tango Niner

    Come on, really! We have so many nukes that are rotting in storage and have had so many discussions about trimming back, do we not see an opportunity here? I have nothing against birds, but I’ve always been told, killing two with one stone is a good thing.

    Liberals love this one: If it feels so right, how can it be wrong?

  • Roberta Cohen

    Here’s the real scoop. Kim Jong met a woman from Austin on Match. While they both like live music, in the end she decided he is a bit overweight and not too smooth in the social skills arena. He’s pissed!

  • patteel

    He is tired of Austin City Limits reruns.

    I am one of the 47% of conservatives that live in Austin.

  • DrSamHerman

    The rest of Texas will paint a target for him, just like Hawkeye Pierce did for “Five O’clock Charlie” in “MASH”.

  • RagamuffinB

    Perhaps Kim Jong-Un was denied entrance (or got thrown out of) the bars on 6th Street there in Austin, postulates my Texan husband…

  • Steve_J

    Maybe he meant Austan Goolsbee.

  • chetnapier

    Rodman goes to Korea and now he wants to nuke us hope he never goes anyplace that could actually hit us

  • ImYer Huckleberry

    Strike the west coast, ya get extra bonus points for taking out libruls.
    PS: They called you a phat fuck with a bad haircut.

  • MissDiane47

    Kim Jong-Un must be jealous of Grumpy Cat because she was invited to SXSW, and he wasn’t.

  • JeffDeWitt

    Apparently Samsung (a South Korean company) has a huge operation in Austin, and that’s why the little creep targeted it. Of course he’s such a little wuss he would probably having a hard time hitting a urinal cake.

  • Randy C. Lindsey

    I would willingly forfeit Austin if it will rid the world of the Dixie Chicks.

  • GaryTheBrave

    #WhyAustin? #WhynotBoulder? Particularly if Gov. Chickenchoker is visiting.

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      #WhyAustin #WhyNotDenver That’s where Chickenmonger lives… #DontMessWithTexas Jawamax 8<{D}
      Wait!… I've been there (back in the seventies) and it's "not too shabby there…

  • bob

    This is what happens when you have weak leadership in the Oval Office; its simple psychology.

  • Adam Baumb

    As a true Hill Country Texican, I must demand Kim Poo Flu cease and desist any threat to hit Austin with a nuke. We know the liberals are there — they need someplace to congregate without everyone else laughing out loud. But, hey, Kimmie poo, too many good things happening there (like my baby daughter attending the university). Besides, if we think you as much as pointed a BB gun at Austin with the intent to shoot, we’ll make sure the glass factory that was North Korea has your name etched in the surface. Don’t mess with Texas, you little half witted idiot.

  • GlockG23

    What? No San Francisco?