Listen up, lovelies: Cher’s got an important message for you

And now, a word from Cher:

Nice to see her tweets are getting more coherent.

Well, it’s certainly got plenty of space.

  • Kevin Roe

    Smartest thing she’s ever tweeted! Makes more sense than most of her drivel!

    • ZoriahShepard

      Indeed – obviously one of her more lucid days.

  • Right Wired

    She’s finally tweeting something that was not in all caps, and almost made sense.

  • CatHerder

    I could just sit and listen to her for simply…nanoseconds.

  • ceemack

    That’s the clearest, most rational thing she’s tweeted since…well, the beginning of Twitter.

    • TugboatPhil

      Truer words were never written. I could tell it was an accident because Caps Lock was off.

      • Miss Clairee

        And it wasn’t saying anything negative about us vile Conservatives!

    • BlueGood

      Actually, I think Cher was the FIRST woman to Taste Test the NEWEST Porky P3cKer….She clearly forgot to read the fine print for side effects…..

      Bacon-Flavoured Condoms Coming to a Website Near You

      Irene Thomaidis, QMI Agency Friday, March 29, 2013 11:42 AM MDT

      (I hear there’s quite a demand for the new product in the Middle East…forbidden fruit kinda thing and all….)

  • Lowfibass

    Thats different from a normal Cher tweet how?

    • TocksNedlog

      It’s shorter and to the point.

  • Tangchung

    She’s a dog, I think she is trying to say “Timmy fell down the well”

    • Zefal

      An oil well that Dick Cheney drilled with a one man post hole digger.

    • Brian H (wackobird)

      *sigh* we’re gonna need a new Timmy……

  • @chris_1791

    The sad thing is that this make more sense then most of the crap she tweets.

  • Zefal

    The botox is wearing off. It’s the only thing keeping her brain alive!!!

  • Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    Looks like Sonny dodged a bullet.

    • jtgun

      But not a tree

      • orringtonmom (D)


  • CatHerder

    As intelligent as she is beautiful. Exactly so.

  • disqus_e2F2oUH6C7

    I think that’s Cherokee for scree you all. Maybe it’s just jibberish.

  • trixiewoobeans

    It said, “the Botox has invaded my gray matter, not just my face is frozen now, please call surgeon, need help.”

  • kissjrj

    Her face is so tight, she tweets like she speaks.

  • ★♥ Harriet Baldwin

    @cher: Bqhatevwr ?

  • Derek K. Wilson

    I thought that was the Cherokee translation for “Half-Breed”

  • PeterP

    That’s Cher Speak for “I ain’t done jack since Silkwood.”

  • KansasGirl

    It’s hard to tweet when you can’t blink.

  • Steve_J

    Couldn’t resist replying that “everybody likes Pi.”

  • notenoughtime

    Think too much plastic surgery may have actually stretched and manipulated her brain to the size of a pea.

    • E Quilibrate

      That would mean that it increased in size by a factor of 3.

  • LauraHayes89

    Cher’s been unhappy ever since the FBI’s investigation into Chaz Bono’s mafia ties.

  • sleazyrider

    I thought they outlawed that synthetic chit…?

  • jebjr

    Cher’s single greatest accomplishment was hiring a PR firm to make much out of very little.

  • Bill Board

    It’s hard to type tweets when you’re a pig with no thumbs.

  • Gregg Hammerquist

    I miss when Cher used to put out chart-toppers. Those were the days. I still love her music. Too bad she’s gotten senile in her dotage.

  • Paul Citro

    I think Cher should grab a shovel and get her PLOT together.

  • Herman LaClair

    oh yeah? well, jkdkgfkgjxs;fph@[dohnlc)8rt;k to you too!!

    • $27789750

      b7%+MmL#nl[ssz2! There, take that!

  • Jim Evans

    If she went to another planet she wouldn’t have to breathe the same air as us!

  • Jim Evans

    She has a new phone that she can speak into and it tweets for her. The problem is even her phone can’t decipher CRAZY.

  • Jim Evans

    Her new phone that tweets for her doesn’t have BOTOX mode so it came out skewed. Like her!

  • $45875941

    Maybe that’s Taliban-ese.

  • $27789750

    Being inside her head for an hour would probably do irreparable damage. Would not run the risk.

  • TocksNedlog

    Stephen Rayfield: “@cher has the most insane tweets. I’d love to be inside her head for a day.”
    — If you are stupid sh*t, then you’re already there, honey.

  • Marcy Cook

    For the first time ever, I agree with her.

  • golftilidrop

    This is your brain on drugs, any questions?

  • gekkobear

    F@s aqaawasAjosn@wa pi

    I think I recognize this.

    They sent me an e-mail for Viagra from Vietnam last week that went into my spam folder… or something like that. Sadly I don’t know the language so it was a bit difficult to tell exactly what it was.

  • massjim

    That is what happens when you Botox your fingers.

  • tops116

    It’s like a PSA about not drinking and tweeting…

  • Joe Squid

    Off her meds again, I see! 😉

  • Jim DeAcutis

    Apparently she forgot to bang her head against the wall this morning…

  • lainer51

    Glad to see the the old hag is back on her meds.

  • John

    Shes starting to look like Ozzy,the drooling cant be far from starting.