Not The Onion: Sports Illustrated names Obama one of the ’50 Most Powerful People in Sports’

The news that launched a thousand eye rolls (yes, we’re low-balling):

Nope, not April Fools’ Day or The Onion. Sports Illustrated actually declared President Mom Jeans the 44th most powerful person in sports. Sports!

Breitbart.com’s Tony Lee notes:

Just like many of his undeserved accolades–most notably the Nobel Peace Prize–here is another mind-boggling media honor given to Obama by a mainstream press that genuflects more than they hold Obama to account.

Paging Jon Lovitz: Time for another “you didn’t earn that” graphic.

Maybe for skeet shooting? Obama totally does that all the time!

  • http://phillies.com JackD

    I guess the hacks at SI never saw this guy’s attempts at throwing a baseball.

    • http://www.facebook.com/joseph.a.white.16 Joseph A White

      Or golfing…..

    • disqus_e2F2oUH6C7

      That’s the funniest thing I ever saw.

    • Frank Drebin

      Or swinging a football bat…

    • Red Fred

      Or skeet shooting.

      • lainer51

        or riding a girls bike
        or bowling (scored 37). I do that before I roll the ball!!!

    • doc255

      Or bowling

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    They probably think he would be a good pitching coach for the Washington Nationals.

    By “Washington Nationals,” I mean the local Girl Scout team named after the major league team.

  • Steve_J

    Sports Illustrated is as credible as ESPN.

  • https://twitter.com/tweetyuo Tangchung

    He has been running a marathon for 6 years straight!
    ……running a marathon campaign.

  • Txgirlinnh

    What the hell does he have anything to do with sports?! I guess he and his cabal could handle synchronized lying if it were a sport.

    • SpinMeNot

      Oh come on, he shoots skeet all the time, don’t you know.

      • Catchance

        I think it’s more the bulls**t that he slings.

      • David

        And I heard he cleans them himself and barbeques them country style . . .

        • SpinMeNot

          outstanding! *hat-tip*

    • mdtljt

      Please, oh please don’t encourage those lying liars who lie!!! Dear Leader will make it so, exempt everyone participating from Ocare if they’re not already then pay them 7 figure salaries by raping Medicaid & Medicare…while pinning it on the TEA Party…

    • Frank Drebin

      Haven’t you seen him Pass the Buck?

      • Catchance

        Next up: Rosie O’Donnell on the Swimsuit Issue cover.

        • Shawn

          thanks a lot, now I have that hag in my mind now naked….wtf..ewww…get that ho away from me

        • Frank Drebin

          GaK!!

        • Txgirlinnh

          Please stop! Never in my life have I needed brain bleach so bad!

        • stellatruman

          suddenly those mom jeans are looking better and better

        • Ken Alan Draper

          I just thew up a little in my mouth.

        • http://twitter.com/DMace14 Dennis Mace

          Michelle Obama will grace the cover.

          • Judy B

            More, lots more, brain bleach please.

      • lainer51

        HA!

      • Judy B

        Gold medal, hands down.

    • CatHerder

      Well, they could if they ever get their lies synchronized, anyway.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002109532283 Jillane Kent

      According to SI, he is influential for his basketball game (racial dog whistle alert, Chris Matthews) and the following comment “if I had a son he would have reservations about letting him play football” due to all the danger involved.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002109532283 Jillane Kent

      According to SI, he is influential for his basketball game (racial dog whistle alert, Chris Matthews) and the following comment “if I had a son he would have reservations about letting him play football” due to all the danger involved.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    Maybe they like his idea for NASCAR: Having all race teams use battery-powered cars.
    The drawback is that the pitstops would take awhile.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    Maybe they can see him as a professional golfer on the Senior Tour.

    That is, if they allow mulligans, foot wedges and people who shoot 98 on the tour.

  • SpinMeNot

    “That dog has a bit of Mississippi leg hound in em … best if you just let him finish.”

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    So party planning is a sport now?

  • CatHerder

    They misspelled ‘pitiful’.

  • independentjones

    Memo to all sharks: Consider yourselves Jumped.

    /smdh

  • Garth Haycock

    I have to agree with SI here. The photo of him attempting to throw out the first pitch is the most powerful visual of how not to throw a baseball I’ve ever seen. Kudos to SI for allowing the world to see the wrong way to do something.

  • https://twitter.com/tweetyuo Tangchung

    When did screwing me become a sport?

  • http://www.facebook.com/joseph.a.white.16 Joseph A White

    So lying is now considered a “sport”?? MMMMkay….

  • Maxx

    At least they didn’t put you know who in the swimsuit issue.

    • CatHerder

      Are you trying to melt my brain?

    • Billie Slash

      What size would a sasquatch wear?

      • WisconsinPatriot

        All of them…..

        • http://www.facebook.com/138900508 Patrick Dennehy

          dude, I died hahaha

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      Please pass the mind bleach…

  • Adela Wagner

    #ObamaSport Whiny Mom Pant Sequester Hissy-fit

  • Supercalifragilisticexpialidoc

    ???

  • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

    Didn’t you remember, he was in the #SpecialOlympics.

  • Wing_attack_Plan_R

    why? did he enter Special Olympics bowling league and win a trophy or something … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E-EdGul8nI

  • http://Twitter.com/jkerrysforehead John Kerry’s Forehead

    WTF?

  • Carolina Mama

    First tweet capture above is a win! Over course SI is brown-nosing. Owned by same org that owns Time Magazine.

    Least they could do is to TRY to be subtle about it. This type of blatant suck-up behavior is disgusting, not to mention that it destroys what little credibility these entertainment rags have left.

  • SisFromIL

    I’m thinking most powerful in home decor, or needlepoint. He throws like a girl in his mom jeans. He must be channeling his White half during any sports he attempts.

  • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

    I….don’t even……wtf

    • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.dean.564 Lisa Dean

      I agree @twitter-75883640:disqus. The things that make me speechless when it comes to this administration, regarding the generous ass kissing of the Obama’s have become too numerous to name.

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      That pretty much summed up my initial reaction, too.

    • David

      I agree . . .

  • disqus_e2F2oUH6C7

    I guess SI considers lying a sport.

  • Wing_attack_Plan_R

    why didn’t Kim Jong-Il make the list. it’s recorded in North Korean record books that he shot 11 hole-in-one’s in a single round back in 1994 … http://www.theblaze.com/blog/2011/12/19/worlds-greatest-golfer-dies-farewell-kim-jong-il/

  • DouginCO

    I canceled my Sports Illustrated subscription today. I can buy the swimsuit edition at the store next year.

  • almarquardt

    In the immortal words of Charlie Brown: “Good grief.”

  • KBDaBear

    #ObamaSportsFeats hashtag created

  • Squirrel!

    Must be for playing Hot Potato!

  • Terry

    I will never forget what a he-she Obama looked like when he was throwing out the first pitch at the baseball game. Hell, most women can throw better than him. Maybe chooming is now a sport?

  • 3seven77

    Well he *is* the world’s best vacationer.

  • ZoriahShepard

    Well I guess when you play about 4 rounds of golf a month – every month – for the length of your presidency – that gets you spot on this list.

    So very proud. 😐

  • capisce

    Mad skills AND a penalty free record.

  • $24835958

    My grandfather read Sports Illustrated.

  • WisconsinPatriot

    I believe, fellow commentators,you have literally said it all. Not a single word I could write would mean a thing at this point. I can just imagine the room where this was decided……buncha guys sitting around{not smoking} giggling like little kids and simultaneously wetting themselves with glee. If there was a woman there…..shame on you, you didn’t have a cigar in your mouth while you were kicking their pansy @sses! Could you imagine being 45,46,47,48,49 or 50th?? Put them on suicide watch!

  • ProfShadow

    And across the globe, thousands cancel their subscriptions to Sports Illustrated…

  • disqus_lLUSGwbabb

    He can’t even name any of the players on his favorite baseball team (White Sox)

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      At least he knew they played in “Cominsky” Park.

  • Adela Wagner

    And that there just PROVES it. EVERYONE Really DOES get a TROPHY!

  • bidentime

    Obama is one of the most influential sportsters in this country. He has inspired multitudes of dope smoking, hacky sack playing slackers from around the country to take up the game of golf. Or at least think about it.

  • Gallatin

    Well we know he is a lousy President.

  • KansasGirl

    After that travesty, I wouldn’t admit I worked for SI.

  • Debbie Butler

    I’ll never read SI again!

  • TocksNedlog

    Well, he IS The Gameplayer in Chief.

  • TocksNedlog

    Thank . . . GOD that SI came along to give our Moper-in-Chief a much needed ego boost!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/richard.jefferies.96 Richard Jefferies

    Wow. That’s almost as good as rating him on a list of influential economists. Ooo, I’ve got one, how about among the most influential physicists. When becomes dictator for life and dawns his military attire, will he be sporting a Trident because he killed Osama Bin Laden?

  • TocksNedlog

    He shoots (holes in The Constitution with a vented skeet gun), he scores!

  • $27789750

    He has promoted golf as a way to avoid actual work. I suppose that counts.

  • JM_in_WASH

    Did SI see obama skeet shooting? Yeah, that’s the ticket.. OMG, these in journalism are absolutely nuts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002109532283 Jillane Kent

    His hard work at Dodge Responsibility Ball has obviously paid off…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002109532283 Jillane Kent

    His hard work at Dodge Responsibility Ball has obviously paid off…

  • Steve_J

    What number did SI give him? I would have given him #2.

    • David

      LOL

  • Steve_J

    What number did SI give him? I would have given him #2.

  • radjahshelduck

    Well pardon me for asking, but if Obama honestly was that powerful in the area of sports, wouldn’t you think his speech to the IOC would have convinced them to put the Olympics in Chicago?

  • radjahshelduck

    Well pardon me for asking, but if Obama honestly was that powerful in the area of sports, wouldn’t you think his speech to the IOC would have convinced them to put the Olympics in Chicago?

  • sqeptiq

    Yes, that porky little pud Jon Lovitz is JUST the man to ridicule another guy’s athletic prowess.

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      Your tears…they make us laugh! But congratulations on missing the point of the entire thread.

    • lainer51

      isn’t he cute? Looks alot like Braney F- Wank?

  • sqeptiq

    Yes, that porky little pud Jon Lovitz is JUST the man to ridicule another guy’s athletic prowess.

  • $36544368

    I didn’t know that turning the country to socialism was a sport.

  • $36544368

    I didn’t know that turning the country to socialism was a sport.

  • Zefal

    You right wingnuts won’t be ridiculing this when a Hellfire missile blind sides Aaron Rodgers on third down and ten to go with a minute and twenty seconds left in the fourth quarter next season.

  • http://www.facebook.com/138900508 Patrick Dennehy

    This thread = all kinds of awesome; Love you guys

  • http://twitter.com/1RandiStarr Randi Starr

    He’ll look good in the locker room!

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      I used to stuff dorks like Barry Soetoro into lockers in High School. Dude’s probably never even worn a jock strap except when one of the upperclassmen ‘crowned’ him with one.

  • Ookook Eekeek

    this is like 10 acres of ripe punch-lines waiting for the harvest

  • capisce

    When can POTUS pick up his Heisman for performance at Gridiron dinner?

    • David

      This wins my vote for funniest post of the day . . .

      • capisce

        thank you very much…I’ll be here all week.

  • Mapache

    Given how much time Obama spends playing basketball and golf I am not surprised

  • twolaneflash

    Did they just call Obama a jock strap, which is the most powerful thing in sports?

  • David

    I personally know a guy who is the greatest marbles player in the world; and he has all of his unlike OBlamer who has never done anything worthy of note. No longer will I buy a SI.

  • notenoughtime

    Guess have little athleticism and awkward geekiness is the new standard for sports and being powerful. Think we could all use a little less Obama and a little more manliness! If you can’t throw a baseball over home plate from the pitcher’s mound, you might be Obama!

  • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

    Next thing we will have Glamor magazine saying Moochelle is one of the most powerful in the modeling industry………………….

  • porgiefirefighter

    Is this the guy who watched games at “Kominsky” Park and throws like a girl?