Sic semper tyrannis: Hugo Chavez dead?; Update: Hell has a new resident

According to various media outlets, the Venezuelan tyrant has died:

Of course, reports of Chavez’s death have been greatly exaggerated before, so it’s not a bad idea to take these reports with a grain of salt.

We will continue to monitor this story as it develops.



The reports appear to be true. Sean Penn is sobbing in a fetal position somewhere:

But lovers of liberty aren’t remotely broken up about Chavez’s demise:

Chavez had been treated for cancer in Cuba. Guess that was a bust, huh?

Yeah, Michael Moore must be catatonic right now. Maybe he and President Obama can comfort one another:

Let’s hope this will mean a brighter future for the Venezuelan people.

Let’s hope so.



‘Delicado:’ Hugo Chavez death watch

Chavez returns to Venezuela; Wacko British MP George Galloway tweets ‘All hail’ return of Hugo Chavez

Venezuela’s big ‘news’ on Hugo Chavez: He’s still having ‘breathing problems’

  • Brian Roastbeef

    Today is the 60 year anniversary of Stalin’s death. I must say, Venezuela put up the best commemoration of this event yet. Chavez was a thug, but he sure could commit.

    • TocksNedlog

      It’s almost like together they were three-fifths of a human being.

      • mdtljt

        …nice one, Tocks…well played…

  • Joe Squid

    Hugo Chavez joins Hitler, Stalin and Mao in Hell! How’s that sulfur smell now, thug!

  • Marty Luther

    I had hoped that Dennis Rodman was going to see Chavez next. Now, sadly, it will never happen. Our opportunity for peace is lost.

  • ZoriahShepard

    Who says good things don’t happen?

    • mdtljt

      Amen to that, Zoriah…I was having a fairly not good day until I read this…bustin’ out the adult beverages to salute the devil for taking home one of his own!!!

  • $35072932

    It’s a sad day for Proppressives everywhere.

    Hammer and sickle flags on college campi will be all flying at half staff.

    Exit question: Will some blame this on Obama’s Sequester?

    • journogal

      I wouldn’t put it past the President himself to somehow blame Republicans, sequester and even thrown in Bush for a good measure. Need to cover all bases, you know.

      • $35072932

        I can see that – they would throw the Tea Party in there somewhere just to be complete.

        • journogal

          And the Koch Brothers, Limbaugh, Palin and Romney. Think I have covered all the targets. Oops, said “target.”

      • $23629333

        At the very least they’ll say that the Right’s delight in this news is unseemly, if not un-Christian.

    • bluewaternavy

      Sequester? NEVER! It was BUSH’s FAULT!

      • $35072932

        Sadly, there are some of the Low info bunch that may believe that.

  • peteee363

    happy days, hugo is room temperature!!

  • Rafael Eduardo Peña-Rios Riber

    now the the president’s health is no longer a problem, they can work to help peo- pfffffffft
    im sorry, i cant say it with a straiht face. they are now a bunch of idiots without a head!!!!!

  • BlueGood

    Fox is reporting he’s DEAD!…No Laughing, No Dancing….No Singing…. ~~Giggle Snort


  • capisce

    Dennis Rodman and Sean Penn paper-scissors-rocking it for eulogy slot.

  • David Harrison


  • TocksNedlog

    The Vice President of Venezuela, José Bidenriguez, is claiming (no joke!) that the U.S. “gave” President Chavez cancer. If true, then . . . well done, CIA! Go rent yourselves some South American hookers out of petty cash.

    • Corey Dennison

      That’s a win, right there!

    • Ben Bollman

      If this is true then it is the only good thing the Administration has done, but somehow I doubt Obama would off his brodawgs

    • $2346491

      Mitt Romney used his cancer causing Mormon mind rays to infect Chavez… Duh

    • bluewaternavy

      Hell, I wish we could take credit for it-and hope that Chavez died very slowly and painfully-as did so many of his opposition.

    • Spatial Awareness

      Good. Who’s next! >;^]

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        See above for odds… Jawamax 8<{D}

    • Rafael Eduardo Peña-Rios Riber

      the VP is Nicolas Maduro

      • $2346491

        It was a funny reference.

        • Rafael Eduardo Peña-Rios Riber

          ah, crap i just got the joke

  • Maxx

    “Hugo Chavez is one of the most important forces we have had on this planet.”
    –Sean Penn

    and yet, helpless against karma’s angry cousin, cancer. As they say, it’s a bitch.

  • Zhenia Oleynik

    May he RIP (Rest In Pieces).

  • Peyton

    Hugo Chavez Dies. #SequesterEffects

  • Peyton

    Hugo Chavez is died. He will now officially get his wish to vote for Obama as a registered democrat.

    • TugboatPhil


    • mdtljt

      Winner, Winner…Chicken Dinner!!!!!

  • camnpat

    Maduro (the vice president of Venezuela) is continuing the Chavez- conspiracy theories as he came out and said that Chavez’s cancer was a result of a drug administered by the CIA.

    No wonder Hollywood types like these third world dictators- they give ’em script ideas!

  • $23629333

    Here’s an idea for a song: “Obama In Tears.”*

    “A tear fell, when they told him,
    When they told him,
    Hugo Chavez was dead,
    His friend and soul mate was dead.”

    Apparently, Obama and all the fellow travelers have been inconsolable as they awaited the inevitable.

    (* same melody as Nat King Cole’s “A Tear Fell.”)

  • capisce

    Seventh circle of hell rejects his plea for asylum

  • mpg71396

    Where is Joe going to get his oil now?

  • Guest

    Chavez never looked better, the weight loss was a bonus…
    and now he is approaching room temperature.
    Comrade Penn will need to hurry, if he intends to give his idol a sloppy goodbye kiss.

  • Evi L. Bloggerlady
  • Joe W.

    And we a still stuck with our dictator.

    • Billie Slash

      Hey, what goes around comes around….

  • Danny Wheeler

    *imagines Chavez in Hell’s 7th Circle Level 1–the Phlegethon River*

  • ForTheRepublic

    Is it too soon to pop the cork on the champagne, or do I have to wait until 2016?

  • Marty Luther

    Died on this day in 1963 – Patsy Cline, country singer (Crazy). and in 2013 – Hugo Chavez, President/Dictator (also Crazy)

  • Booker

    Adios amgo! Bush is dancing on the grave of this buffoon. One must ask the question: Who can smell the sulfur now?

  • MikeOxlong

    Good. Now all weed need is Obama, Putin, imadinnerjacket, what’s his face from Israel, and the rest of the top 1% in the work to quickly follow suit. The earth might actually turn into a utopia if that happens…

  • Grandma HeadInjury

    Michael Moore: “America should have amazing government healthcare like Cuba does! Right, Hugo?”

    Hugo Chavez: “Urk!” (thud)

    • mdtljt

      Thanks for the gigglesnort, knuckle!!! I envisioned it as a Loony Toons cartoon…with the devil laughing his ass off…”…sulphur?? Come on down here, we’ll give you sulphur…for alllllll eternity…mmmwwwwhahahaahahahahaha!!!!!

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    And here I was so sure the Saddam/ Satan Hell scenes from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut couldn’t get any funnier…

    Half hearted prayers I guess for any of those close to Chavez that didn’t know him first hand (before they were killed) as a tyrannical murdering b@stard (See: Castro, Che Guevara) .

    So…Iran, Syria, Hezbollah, Hamas, North Korea (the few German prison camp Nazis still alive and still hiding there), Sean Penn, Harry Belafonte, Danny Glover …& Obama.

    Sorry for the loss of your “bro” or whatever.

  • DANEgerus

    I blame the #Sequester

  • John Kerry’s Forehead

    I won’t believe it until Obama puts the book Chavez gave him on eBay.

  • flybwoy

    When democrats make fun of Romney and Bush, republicans throw a tantrum…but its ok for you guys to rejoice when someone has died. keep it classy, you people make my stomach turn

    • TexSizzle

      Bless your heart.

    • seek456

      truly you find some sort of similarity between these “events” in your head?
      I suggest you have your head examined. I would also suggest you go to Cuba to have it examined.

    • Catchance

      That’s because you’re the master of moral equivalency.

    • Darth_Venomous

      How’s it feel getting a taste of your own medicine, dumbass?

      • flybwoy

        Hows it feel losing the election so bad c * cksucker?

        • Darth_Venomous

          How’d you like to come say that to my face, chickensh!t?

          • flybwoy

            I would have no problem saying it to your face, in fact I would beat the sh*t out of you

          • Darth_Venomous

            1415 New Haven St #1811, Arlington, TX.

            Bring it, puzzy. Maybe you can get Mommy to drive you.

  • prlgrl

    There is one problem here, Venezuela just lost a source of free energy. Simon Bolivar is no longer spinning in his grave at how his name is being abused. Had Chavez connected Bolivar’s body to an alternator, he could have powered all of Latin America with the power generated.

  • AdoEdem

    I think this calls for a little Eduard Khil, don’t you?

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Winston Churchill (Heaven, sometime today): “No, Mr. Chavez. You stand over there in the queue for the down escalator. There will be a demon or imp that lets you know which floor you disembark.”

  • Jack Deth

    I remember that back in the late 1990s, patients in a certain wing of a Caraccas hospital’s ICU were dying mysteriously through the night.

    It seemed that an old woman on the contracted cleaning crew was unplugging respirators and other important, life saving equipment and plugging in vacuums and floor buffers to accomplish her tasks.


    I surely hope so!!!

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    GOOD-BYE, EARL! #TheDixieChicks #MusicTriviaTime And GOOD RIDDANCE! I sat shiv for one second in memory of Mr. Chavez… And that was enough for me….Now taking bets on who’s next; ODDS- Bashir ASSAD@$$ 5:1; Kim Ill Yun,150:1; Mac Ahmedinejad, 8:1; Fiedel Castro, 5:3 Ramon Castro, 6:1 Jawamax 8<{D}