Sequesterpocalygeddon Day: ‘Early reports of cannibalism, food hoarding’ from Twitter

Sequester Friday has arrived and it’s every man for himself.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Day one: The dead rise from their graves to walk the earth, searching for the 170 million jobs obliterated by the sequester.

Denial sets in.

So just how bad is it out there?

All we can do is pray.

So just how dire is the situation?

Let’s hope the rumored cure works.

  • Maxx

    I’m ready Mr. President. I’ve got my MREs all set to go. Not too shabby….roast beef with brown gravy, mashed potatoes, cream style corn…and for desert, devils food cake. The only problem is it’s all in the same package.

    • Junie3


    • Catchance

      Hide them from Michael Moore.

    • Lisa Dean

      You forgot the hot sauce… 😉

    • b_truit

      Lol I’m not a laugher at posts but that was funny. Good one sir

  • Steve_J

    Sequestraion = Y2K hysteria

    • Vennoye

      Goodness………the 44th is having ANOTHER manufactured crisis armageddon!! And no one attended…………. Lose credibility much, leftys??

  • ToyZebra

    Dogs and cats living together!

  • grais

    170 million people lining up for unemployment bennies. Get there early.

  • Bobj

    Sequestration day 1: 170 million new jobless in all 57 states. Its every man for himself now.

    • American.Vet

      And White House announces unemployment rate has dropped to 5%

    • Doctor Bulldog

      And, woman…

    • BlueGood

      Sorry bad…:o(

  • RightThinking1

    My fav: “Sequester Day 1: overpaid bureaucrats briefly consider skipping
    expense-account lunch; realize they can fire another soldier to cover it”

    • nc

      Me too! Brilliant!

  • NRPax

    Trust no one, keep your laser handy— Ah, Paranoia. What a fun game that was. Who knew I’d live to see it reenacted?

  • Blake Waymire

    Good thing I got some ammo for my SKS and Single-Action Army a few weeks ago. I might need it more than ever now.

  • Love of Country

    Is this gonna be even worse than Y2K? I can hardly bear it!

  • Fire and Adjust!

    The Air Force is already feeling the crunch………. On the brighter side of things, air shows won’t be nearly as loud as they used to be……… so they’ve got that going for them…….

    • ForTheRepublic

      For the first time in weeks, I actually laughed out loud. Kudos, sir!

    • Cold War Grunt

      Oh noes! not the Thunderbirds !!

    • Donna W


    • GaryTheBrave

      I laughed so hard I blew milk out my nose . . . and I wasn’t even drinking any milk!

      • Fire and Adjust!

        I’d maybe consider seeing a doctor about that!…………… glad you enjoyed it

  • Catchance

    Sequester Day 1: I’ve already had to fire my shotgun through my front door several times.

    • ForTheRepublic

      Sequester Day 1: I can’t find any of my shirts anywhere.

    • Donna W

      At least Joe Biden’s advice wasn’t in vain 😉

  • peteee363

    i just tossed a penny out the window, and four politicians were fighting over it. i love the sequester, i have more pennies when they finish fighting, i will toss another one.

    • GaryTheBrave

      Your taxes just went up and you WILL be audited. How dare you keep any money from the government!! ™

  • D’Bak61

    It should be blasted every day that these cuts are nothing of the kind; only a reduction in the rate of big government growth. No one is losing anything they already have. Big government is just not getting as much as it originally wanted in its annual increase. This cannot be said enough, to dems and pubs alike. And while we’re at it let’s get rid of baseline budgeting altogether.

    • E Quilibrate


  • Snarky D

    I haven’t heard anything about cutting funding to the FBI director’s budget for using a Gulfstream jet to fly around and do… Whatever it is they need to fly around in a private luxury jet to do, so at least that disaster has been averted. Thank God.

  • Michael Rice

    Is sequester caused by global warming. Maybe, if we just shoot out the front door it will go away.Let’s put up sequester free zone signs, as well.

  • RightThinking1

    Shamelessly cut and pasted from NRO Morning Jolt:

    Under Sequester, the Morning Jolt Will Be
    2 Percent Shorter Than Before

    Shortly after midnight, this is what happened,
    according to Twitter:

    Stephen Gutowski: “Just tried driving but since sequestration went into effect the
    roads have all crumbled into dust.”


    “It wasn’t until I ate my neighbor’s pancreas that I realized president Obama
    was right about the sequester.”

    “The corpses are piling up outside my window like cordwood, oh my God the

    “Nothing to worry about! I grabbed my double barrel shotgun & blasted
    #sequester through the door, just like the VP said.”

    Ari Fleischer: “President Obama is right. Undo the sequester! I can’t stand it

    Becket Adams: “I don’t think my neighbors are taking sequestration seriously.
    They’re giving me weird looks and making fun of my war paint and loincloth.”

    Exurban Jon: “So this is what anarchy feels like . . . From now on, I shall be known
    as ;ExJon, Warlord of the Western Deserts.'”

    Buck Sexton: “Did America lose 170,000,000 jobs in the last 10 minutes? Keep me
    informed, everyone.”

    Brandon Morse: “The #sequester may now join the Mayan Calendar and the Y2K bug in the “[Stuff] Everyone Survived” Hall of Fame.”

    By morning, it was even worse:

    Rick Wilson: “A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the
    victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air . . . I saw their fires in the
    dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only
    government diversity programs provided.”

  • Marcy Cook

    I’m down here in my underground bunker and I can’t get up!!!!!!!!!!

    • lcky9

      love it..can’t quit laughing

  • Rick Weesner

    No problem, I have plenty of food left over from Y2K.

    • $23639361

      yep, MREs and Ammo! BRING ON THE ZOMBIES (i.e., libtarded obot dims)!!!

      • Rick Weesner

        I AM out of AMMO thanks to the REAL scare from Obama. And I just emptied my 9mm out my front door.

  • $23639361

    why did I even get up this morning?!?!?!? …oh yeah, since I still have a job, I have to go work for my SMALLER paycheck, to PAY MORE for gas, food, and bazillions of useless Federal govt programs & bureaucrats to run them… FLUKE

  • $27789750

    Gov will have to learn to use fewer paper clips and slightly less toilet paper. Can they?

    • ToyZebra

      Government creates paperwork and biological waste product, so no they can’t.

    • lcky9

      no on the toilet paper with all the BS they spew

  • Jack Deth

    Route 495, The Woodrow Wilson and 14th Street Bridges were tied up with traffic today.

    Andrews AFB and Pax River have full flying schedules. No airliners are falling from the sky. And my neighborhood Cat Lady is collecting and feeding kittens.

    Why and how is today different than any other day ending in “y”?

  • Rulz

    From the same people who criticize Christians for talking about rapture?

  • RightThinking1

    The horror begins. I have just received an email from Sen Kay Hagan(D-NC). There it states:

    “North Carolina would also lose out on $60 million in fudning for medical and
    scientific research.”

    Sweet merciful heavens, apparently her office has been forced to cut the cost of using Spell Check! Now, constituents like myself, who rely on her incisive judgement, are left twisting in the arid wind of the sequester…, uncertain as to whether she means ‘fudging’, or ‘funding’. We’re all going to die….

  • $35072932

    Obama’s Sequestration is hurting the nation!

    Obama calls sequester ‘a series of dumb, arbitrary cuts’: – live

    Obama “I’m not a dictator”

  • DANEgerus

    I had to shoot the pizza delivery boy through the door this afternoon… damn this sequester!

  • GoSellCrazySomeplaceElse

    The first rule of sequester is ‘there are no rules of sequester’.

  • GaryTheBrave

    This morning a brush fire burst out in Southern California and a sinkhole opened in Florida. Sequestration is a b(KARMA)h!

    (Too bad it wasn’t the other way. Fires bursting out in Florida and a big ol’ sinkhole swallowing up California.)

  • SJ’s Dad

    “Dogs & Cats living together, MASS HYSTERIA!”
    (Can the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man be far behind?)

  • nc

    I think John Hayward is really Ace.

  • SJ’s Dad

    ” . . . Dogs & Cats Living Together, MASS HYSTERIA!!!”
    (Can the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man be far behind?)

  • Raye09

    Now if we could only get those darn ultra-liberal zombies to attack each other

  • Raye09

    Now if we could only get those darn ultra-liberal zombies to attack each other

  • lcky9

    Other than a few less doors pretty much looks like everyone has a pretty average BTW can someone help the man who’s in his bunker and cant’ get up…lol

  • NRPax

    Not at all. First off, hippies are always in season and when the start time happens, it’s going to get crowded.

  • ForTheRepublic


  • Alex Furlong

    Sequestration! The new sensation that’s sweeping the nation!

    From Blammo ™!

  • E Quilibrate

    I bet Wile E. Coyote is behind the whole thing.

  • TugboatPhil

    Apparently making the news public was frowned upon.