What about your gaffes? Secretary of Dunce John Kerry can see ‘Kyrzakhstan’ from his house

Stop, our aching sides! Sadly, there was no “JK” after that remark. During a speech on the eve of his first trip as Secretary of State, John Kerry referred to the non-existent country of “Kyrzakhstan.”

In an embarrassing slip of the tongue, Mr Kerry last week praised US diplomats working to secure “democratic institutions” in the Central Asian country, which does not exist.

The newly minted diplomat was referring to Kyrgyzstan, a poor, landlocked nation of 5.5 million, which he appeared to confuse with its resource-rich neighbour to the north, Kazakhstan.

The Telegraph also reports that the State Department left that out of the official transcript. Transparency!

The gaffe-tastic unintentional portmanteau occurred a few days ago, but is picking up steam on Twitter today.

And, boy, is the buzz hilarious.

Paging IKEA!

Zing! And, it being Twitter, a parody account enters the mix.

Heh. Oddly enough, The Boston Globe reportedly seems to have missed this story.

Probably because his last name doesn’t rhyme with Kalin and he has a (D) next to his name, natch.

Do we smell a hashtag?

And, no worries! The secretary of dunce is out and about today.

Our allies: The United Klingdom?

  • peteee363

    remind me why lurch is secretary of state?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      To make the fake Indian, Liawatha Warren, the senior Senator from Taxachusetts.

      • Pendy1

        I thought her name was Faux-cahontas.

    • Kevin Krom

      Because Obama’s 2nd term cabinet apparently needs to consist of only goofy old rich white guys.

      • Pendy1

        Goofy, old, rich, LEFTIST white guys, if you please.

    • Junie3

      George Soros and the Tides Foundation, Teresa has paid her dues for this stupid husband of hers. Couldn’t be 1st lady, so 1st wife of stupid it is.

      • $24698634

        You folks have a long, 4 years ahead of you.

        • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

          But does America have 4 years left?

          • $24698634

            Oh, c’mon.  The US is only a little over 200 yrs old.  I think we have a long, prosperous future ahead.  Just because you lost this round doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.

        • RightThinking1

          Yes…, but nothing compared to what our ambassadors in the middle east face. On the other hand, between Obama, Jay Carney, Joe Biden, John Kerry, Menendez, Pelosi, Wassermann Schultz, etc., etc., those years will be punctuated with lots of hilarity, however damaging their actions may be.

          I defer to Sam Donaldson, not exactly a member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy :
          “[Howard] Dean is no longer here to put his foot in his mouth, and so he has transferred his foot to John Kerry’s mouth,” former ABC White House correspondent Sam Donaldson told Chris Matthews.

          • lainer51

            I bet Matthews was spitting all over himself about that one.

          • $24698634

            If that’s what passes for humor in your world, it’s going to be a very, very long 4 years ahead of you.

        • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

          This country has a long 4 years ahead of it. But you already knew that, didn’t you? I’m sure you don’t care, since your guy is in charge of our imminent, fiery crash into the side of the proverbial mountain.

          Hooray for party over country!
          /leftard

        • $5326605

          Yes, we certainly do. The Obamanation of the USSA for four long years.

          • $24698634

            I hope you don’t write for a living.

    • $5326605

      It was his turn.

  • TocksNedlog

    Lurch won!

    Diplomacy zero.

  • TocksNedlog

    Hey y’all, people in glass houses and all that.

    I mean, WHO among us can honestly claim to have not insulted two sovereign nations on the first day of a new job?

    • Kevin Krom

      I consider it a day wasted if I don’t insult half a dozen sovereign nations before my first coffee break.

    • peteee363

      i know obama insulted the uk by returning that bust, but i am not sure if he insulted another one that day?

      • Garth Haycock

        Ever heard of the United States?

    • https://twitter.com/davidjkramer DavidKramer

      Smart diplomacy………..you guys.

      • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

        SERIOUS.

      • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

        Serious, you guys!

    • Rick Shorrock

      Apparently Kerry cannot…I think he’s still bitter at himself for admitting he took part in war crimes in Viet Nam.

    • $5326605

      Obama insults every sane citizen EVERY day. I return the favor EVERY day.

      • TJCrane_NCC1701

        <<—-Agreed ! <<—-Meet my avatar.

  • grais

    They speak Austrian there, don’t they?

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Is Kyrzakhstan in Asia like Hawaii?

      • grais

        I’m not sure. Let’s ask the press corpse!

        • $5326605

          I’d ask Barack Obama’s “typical white woman” grandmother but she died. Maybe Uncle DUI or Aunt Public Housing knows? Perhaps half brother mud hut knows the answer. I guess Barry’s son Crayon Martin can no longer speak for anything except false arrest and unjust charges against a neighborhood watch captain.

      • Tom Bannigan

        I wonder if that is where the dems are hiding their offshore accounts these days.

        • TJCrane_NCC1701

          That’s where Kerry parks his yacht to avoid taxes and Menendez (D-Molester) trolls for under-aged sex slaves,

          • lainer51

            HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Frank Milella

    Kerry hahaha another Gingiss Kahn moment

  • HARP2

    You gets what you pay for.

    • Roto

      Let’s return him with the sequester…

    • RightThinking1

      Probably what Teresa Heinz Kerry (AKA “Shove It”) thinks about regularly..

      • Pendy1

        Teresa Heinz Kerry and “think” do not belong in the same sentence. And I believe the power structure in that relationship results in the correct names “John Kerry Heinz” and “Teresa Heinz”.

  • ceyanne

    Hey, if BO can invent 7 extra states, why can’t Kerry invent new countries?

    • TexSizzle

      Ten. He said he’s been to 57, had one to go, and was not allowed by his handlers to go to two.

      • ceyanne

        I stand corrected. ;o)

  • Roto

    “Hi!! It’s JK Jon Carie hear tweeting from Kyrackerjakistan. Visiting our Mureens on duty at all your Base are belong to US. They still should’ve studied to be smart.”

  • Long_Knives_Drawn

    right because Palin has the intellect of a moose,with a missing chromosome and Kerry can actually put 2 sentences together that make sense! Your comparison just shows how insecure and tribal you baggers are over Sarah (aka I can see Putin rearing his head ” Palin… DOLTS….

    • RightThinking1

      Well…, a couple of things, first, Palin is not Secretary of State, secondly, Kerry was as soundly rejected by the voters as Palin was.

      Putting that aside…, one of my favorite moments was when Kerry claimed to have received a call from Christopher Reeve…, while Reeve was in a coma. I am sure the moment is seared in his memory.

      That just scratches the surface of course, and you couldn’t make this stuff up…, only a Massachusetts Democratic Bluebeard could do it.

      As a matter of conscience, I feel I should warn all that if two of Kerry’s sentences ‘make sense’ to you, it may be time to have your BS detector re-calibrated.

    • Roto

      That joke was always on stupid moonbats and that idiot Tina Fey:
      http://www.snopes.com/politics/palin/seealaska.asp

    • J. Cox

      I just love how you libs come to the defense of a idiotic statement….by making more idiotic statements.Tina Fey thanks you for quoting her yet again and blaming Palin…that beautiful,smart woman that you dolts on the left just can not seem to get out of your head.It must hurt being so stupid and so jealous at the same time.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Ummm, you’re using THIS as an example of Kerry putting two sentences together that make sense? You still think that irony is the process of dewrinkling clothes, don’t you?

      • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

        AAahahahahahahahahhaahhhhhaaaa !!!!! XD

    • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.dean.564 Lisa Dean

      Hey, remember the #kneeslappinghilarity of Sarah’s statement that she could see Russia from her house. Only it turned out to be Tina Fey who said that famous quote. Sarah Palin actually said that you can see Russia from an island in Alaska and Sarah is right…John Kerry’s statement isn’t true.

    • ceyanne

      I love how Sarah Palin still is under the skin of the libs.

      • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

        Rent-free in their noggins!

        • Long_Knives_Drawn

          rent free, sure you know alot about that

          • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

            Seeing as I am paying a mortgage rather than rent, I’m sure you’re a moron.

            Now silence, boy. Grown-ups are trying to have a conversation here.

      • Long_Knives_Drawn

        under my skin, like a tick with lyme disease.. shes managed to talk herself into obscurity..not even the puppet master Roger Aisles wants her, she was traded in for a shiny new moron, Herman Cain! LOL and you dimwits just follow like sheep. bah, bah , bah all the way to the banks of right wing con artists like Beck, Limbgaugh, et al. Buy any gold or survival crap lately? or donate to Dick Morris ..oh god you guys crack me up!

        • ceyanne

          Someone doth protest too much. And you’re the one that brought her up in the first place. I LOVE that she still bothers you this much. Your rage is delicious.

        • lainer51

          Kind of like a lib fave – Anthony Wiener – haven’t heard much from that perv lately, now have we?

    • Garth Haycock

      Poor, little progressive. If it makes you feel any better, I think Kerry is smarter than you.

    • Chrissy the Hyphenated

      You probably don’t realize this, but the Left lurved Palin right up until she was picked for McCain’s VP. As Governor of Alaska, she went up against corrupt Republicans and Big Oil execs and WON.

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      Your tears…they make us happy!

  • Lady 12

    Everyone knows where #Kyrzakhstan is – right between Shangri-La, Narnia, and Middle-Earth.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.dean.564 Lisa Dean

      Hey now, don’t lump Narnia in that area or Prince Caspian is going to have issues. 😉

      • Lady 12

        I’d rather face Prince Caspian than Aragorn.

    • $5326605

      I thought Moochelle Oblamo sat on it and it was firmly wedged in her massive butt cheeks.

  • HARP2

    Hey Kerry…….can you see ‘Kyrzakhstan’ from your house ?

    • $5326605

      Ketchup boy just wants to know if they have any rich widows he can marry.

  • RightThinking1

    Coming soon, a reference to Parador, Elbonia, or Berserkistan

    Next thing you know Kerry will pander to the Irish by falsely implying that he is of Irish extraction…, oh, wait…already did that.

    • ToyZebra

      Don’t forget Freedonia. Kerry is already planning a trip to meet with Rufus T Firefly.

  • TWG2A

    “Democracy” is incompatible with islam.

    islam aims to kill or subjugate all, and Infidels cannot “Coexist” with those who want them dead. THAT is the bottom line here, folks. Bow down or die.

    islam is a cult more than it is a reigion. As a caliphate was also meant to be a violent, intolerant, theocratic form of government and it is the goal of true muslims worldwide to re-establish the caliphate. The obama/jarrett/clinton regime are aiding and abetting that effort. That is why, EXACTLY WHY, they orchestrated the turmoil in Libya, Egypt, Jordan, Syria and elsewhere in the middle east. They are installing the muslim brotherhood terrorists there, in order to further deploy their caliphate wet dream of total and crushing world dominance.

    Unfortunately when those who have studied islam state the truth about it we are accused by ignorant, naive people of being “un-American intolerant promoters of hate.” Nothing could be further from the truth, but we all know that lying and false accusations are their M.O., so why would any thinking person take those insults to heart…..? I certainly don’t.

    The word islam itself means “total submission to the will of allah.” To all muslims, allah’s will is what the quran, hadith (accepted statements and actions of muhammad) and sharia (islamic law) say it is. allah’s will for the treatment of non-muslims is summed up in the quran, surah VIII: 64 , which says, “Oh Prophet! Urge the believers to war;” surah IX: 5, which says, — then slay the idolaters wherever you find them and take them captives and besiege them and lie in wait for them in every ambush” and surah IX: 29, which says: “Fight ” those who have been given the Book (Jews and Christians), until they pay the tax in acknowledgment of superiority (of muslims) and they are in a state of subjection” (to muslims).

    It is impossible to be a moderate muslim because islam has its roots in radicalism, intolerance and conquest. muhammad had hundreds of men beheaded at medina and sold their wives and children into slavery. He repeatedly ordered muslims to fight “in the way of allah” (jihad) until all non believers were either slain or subjugated.

    Retrograde and aggressive, it denigrates non-muslims, oppresses women, and justifies force and deadly violence to spread muslim rule.

    The sharia is in direct conflict with our Constitution. Any oath of office or allegiance taken by a muslim is false and should be considered null and void. muslims who claim citizenship by naturalization are not, in fact, legitimate citizens. They should be declared enemies of the state and deported.

    islamism is the third totalitarian ideology (following fascism and communism). Today, they’ve teamed up with their fellow fascists, the communists, socialists, democrats, liberals, progressives, marxists and islam. AND OUR WHITE HOUSE, DHS & PENTAGON. They all share a DEEP common hatred of Western values.

    • Garth Haycock

      What does this have to do with the Secretary of Dunce?

  • ToyZebra

    At least if you are ambassador to Kyrzakhstan, you don’t have to worry about being left to die.

    • WisconsinPatriot

      Tommy Lee Jones could be ambassador of NO COUNTRY for the old man…….

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Look for a request in the next few weeks for additional security funding for the Embassy in Kyrzakhstan.

  • GW

    My son at three years old knew where Kazakhstan is on a world map. Kerry = amateur

  • Pendy1

    Not only can he see Kyrzakhstan from his house, it exists IN his house.

  • LordElrond09

    Oh but Palin was the stupid one…..

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      No kidding! Every time Biden opens his noise hole, he proves that she was the most qualified of the 2 VP candidates in 08.

      • n4cerinc

        She was the only one with Executive experience on both tickets.

        • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

          Absolutely true; but to anyone who needs her to be an ‘idiot’ or ‘unqualified’ will ignore that fact till the cows come home. Or until Biden stops sounding like an escapee from the local clown college.

  • videosavant

    I wonder what he reads…calling Katie Couric…

    • lainer51

      he will never be asked that question by Katie…. she is an Obama lapdog.

  • Cherry Walker

    Gramps always said it’s best to give your adversaries enough rope to hang themselves…

  • http://twitter.com/Stimulus4U Marty Luther

    Nothing about Freedonia?

  • Steve_J

    Was he wearing his “magic” hat?

  • Chrissy the Hyphenated

    Funny (not really) how the Left rags on Palin for being “stupid” because of something Tina Fay said while air-brushing out of history all the truly moronic things their own leaders say on a weekly basis.

    • Roto

      Yea, it was a lie. It was something Tina Fey said.
      Not something Palin actually said.

  • $5326605

    Kyrzakhstan? Isn’t that our 57th state?

    • http://twitter.com/InformedNow InformNow

      “Kyrzakhstan? Isn’t that our 57th state?” No, it’s the Russian spelling of the word “Reset” brought to you by our brilliant former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and company!

      And these are supposedly the ‘smart’ people leading us? No wonder America is in the morass it’s been in over the past four years!

    • $48245650

      LOL!!!!!! That one never get’s old!

  • Zefal

    He was in Kyrzakhstan Christmas eve 1968. The memory is seared into his magic hat!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Clement/1169952473 John Clement

    I think he meant to say ketchupstan.

  • kerryokerry

    At least Borat returns his calls!

  • SophieRo3

    I see Islamabaddog! I see Burqini Fasoulli! I see Kyrzakhstan from the aft-deck of Kerry’s yacht, Isabel, in Roadislandiki. #SmartPowerFail

  • lainer51

    Prime Minister of Kyrzakhstan asking SOS if “Heinz 57” refers to ketchup or states?

  • Ken Alan Draper

    Kyrzakstan welcomes you, as does our president Gene-Jeis Khan!

  • Axelgreaser

    OLD, DULL AND UNQUALITFIED 1%’er DEM’S JUST CAN’T GIVE UP THE $2,000.00 SUITS AND LURE OF THE ‘EYE OF A CAMERA.’ Perhaps it was sleep deprivation or jet lag. Let’s all act like we too are ‘civil’ corrupto’crats, circle the ‘tree man’ with loving arms and do what corruptocrat’s do: Give the ‘Sloop Tax Cheat’ Gazillionaire the benefit of the doubt for making up a country. Perhaps ‘BORAT’ was the ‘in flight movie’ screened especially for our new Secretary Of State to familiarize him with ‘foreign countries.’ Maybe he was having a flashback and recalling seeing his next door multi-billionaire 1%’er neighbor ‘Stan’ and the sight of his ‘crack’ as he was testing out a new rider mower’ with his grounds keeper and the trauma resulted in a brain schism and resultant blurt: ‘Kyrzakhistan!’ Democats are brilliant, we all know that. Just look at Obama’s economy, ‘on crack’ which he absolutely owns.

  • Sonus

    I thought the memory of Richard Nixon’s Christmas 1968 invasion of Kyrzakhstan was seared…SEARED…into John Kerry’s memory.

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      Seared, you guys!

  • kenai

    You can get to Kyrzakhstan on the intercontinental railroad.

  • Raye09

    Let me get this straight. The Secretary of defense does not know the difference between Khazakstan and Krygyzstan? Good Grief this is not only scary it is also pathetic.

  • $23629333

    Every time I see this guy, or a story about him, I hear the theme from “The Munsters” in my mind’s ear.

  • $23629333

    Herman Munster’s gaffe brings to mind my pappy’s reference to Yugoslavia* as Yugoslovakia, an amalgam – apparently – of Yugoslavia and Czechoslovakia. My pappy never attended university, let alone Yale.

    (* yes, long ago, when that country still existed)

  • http://twitter.com/KayGester KayGee

    Kyrgyzstan. can you pronounce it?

    • http://www.facebook.com/corey.dennison Corey Dennison

      Yes. Can you? Apparently our Sec State can’t.

  • John Beam

    I’m still trying to find this fellow Mr. Kerry referred to once, who “razed villages” by the name of “Jenjis Khan.” I can’t find him ANYWHERE…

  • http://www.facebook.com/rene.demonteverde.1 Rene Demonteverde

    And they denigrate Sarah Palin. Yet ignoramuses abounds in the Democratic party. All they accuse Palin of is hearsay. Kerry is recorded.