Pathetic: Politico muses about the ‘lasting effect’ of ‘Rubio’s watergate’ on the GOP

Beyond parody, indeed.

First Politico published an article about “Rubio’s drinking problem.”

And here’s what @POLITICOvideo tweeted out this morning.

On Wednesday, CNN labeled Marco Rubio’s ‘sip heard round the world a “career-ender.” The network later claimed it was a total knee-slapper. Get it? Get it? Will Politico play the LOL card too (even though nobody’s laughing)?

“Better than this”? Apparently not.

Related:

Marco Rubio’s Reclaim America PAC offering the Rubio-branded water bottle

Forget Rubio: These are the #CareerEnder moments that should have been

Snort! DNC’s ‘thirsty for new ideas?’ Rubio water ad is a total fail

How many Twitter followers was Marco Rubio’s sip of water worth?

#WaterBottlegate responses: Senator Rubio scores big; Poland Spring late to the game [photos]

The sip heard ’round the world: Rubio drinks water; Media dutifully carry water for the Left

Rubio adviser tweets photo of ‘the most famous bottle of water in American politics’

Biggest ‘news’ of the night: Marco Rubio’s awkward water grab; Update: Video added; Update: #Rubioing, #RubioFilms

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    Rubio will be attacked continuously from now on.
    Anyone seen as a potential rival to Benghazi Betty Clinton will be trashed, just as they tried to destroy Palin.

    • http://twitter.com/equaltreatment Elaine

      You are so correct. They will do anything to divert attention from this failing administration. I guess it’s ok when they start a war on minorities and name call beyond the PC they demand. Rubio, Cruz, Dr. Carson, Allan West, Michelle Malkin, the list is VERY LONG! Hello media? Racism alert!

      • Michael Anderson (WB)

        Need to start a new hashtag: #DemocRacism

      • Michael Anderson (WB)

        Need to start a new hashtag: #DemocRacism

      • marylandman

        You can’t just pick EVERY minority in your party and say they’re ALL victims of racism.

  • Avey Owyns

    If only the treated Rubio like they do Dorner … you know, analyze the back story, consider the fact that maybe his nationality had something to do with his seeming perpetual thirst … ’cause you know, Mexico’s HOT!

    • CherDash

      You have a good point, but Marco Rubio’s family is from Cuba.

      • Avey Owyns

        LOLOL… I suppose that would make me RRRAAAAACIST … if I weren’t black. Blacks can’t be racist. 😛

  • Silenttype78

    You can always tell when the left has had the crap scared out of them.
    Well, those of us who actually think about things on our own anyway.
    Rubio was awesome.

  • FreedomFighter

    The liberal media is stuck on stupid, unfortunately half the country is too.

    • marylandman

      Yeah, if we could get the South unstuck somehow then maybe this country could progress for the first time in years.

      • Iacobus

        Wait, the South is somehow stopping us all from, “progressing?”

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        (And this comes from a soon-to-be-ex-Yankee, by the way. Enjoy your little empire of dirt while it lasts, Ye-With-Blinders-On.)

        • marylandman

          Much as they always have. Ever heard of the civil war? Reconstruction? The civil rights movement? The south is full of bigots, there’s no two ways about it.

          • Rabid

            Wow, you don’t just drink the party line take on history…you mainline it!

          • marylandman

            Nah, I’m freebasing.

          • Iacobus

            The North (not to mention the idiots in the cities on the West and East coasts) is full of elitists who think they have the answers to everything in the universe. Everyone else is a toothless, knuckle-dragging moron to them.

            And then they wonder why their communities and cities are stinking piles of crap. I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the South. Full spoiler: It’s you.

          • marylandman

            Actually my community in Maryland is quite nice. We’re the richest state in the Union, and blue as can be. Most blue states pay more money in taxes than they receive in federal assistance (welfare, defense contracts, etc). Most red states, however, mooch off of the federal government and take much more money than they pay back in taxes.

          • Slapweasel

            Tell you what. Let’s build a Red versus Blue wall, stay with me here, I’ll bet that once you run out of other people’s money, you’ll be clamoring for trade with the Red States.

            Either that, or you’ll be scampering over the walls and swimming rivers to get a sweet, sweet taste of that personal economic freedom you’re so fond of calling “selfish”.

            I know! That can be a learning experience for you! Those Southerners you don’t like much and those devout, hard-working, church-going Mexicans that live there might have an actual ID and immigration system in place after security is established!

            But… you’re going to hate the television programming. Humorless.

          • marylandman

            I have enough of my own money, but okay, I’ll play this game. Let’s build a wall. You can have lower graduation rates, lower IQs, lower incomes, higher infant mortality, higher divorce rates, higher rates of obesity, higher rates of fatal car accidents (LOOK IT UP!), all the crazy bible thumping evangelists, all the guns, dirty air and water, unlicensed abortions, and BY FAR higher rates of welfare. I don’t know if you’ll even have a federal government in your new Red America but if you do I’m not sure how they’ll pay for your sky high health care costs. We’ll take cutting edge medical research, stem cells, all the best Universities, the technology and entertainment industries, the majority of fresh water, and equal rights for everyone. And that’s only as it stands today. Once you guys are in control of everything and completely eliminate taxes, you’ll have no hospitals, schools, police, or firefighters. You’ll have no regulations or consumer protections so I hope your children don’t die from lead in toys and that your savings aren’t lost to reckless bankers. You’ll be living in a society where the rich take care of themselves and no one takes care of the poor. Just the way Romney wanted things.

          • rinodino

            Boom!!!! Don’t hurt them with facts all they will respond with is “Obama -communist- bad!!!!”

          • rinodino

            Boom!!!! Don’t hurt them with facts all they will respond with is “Obama -communist- bad!!!!”

          • marylandman

            I’ll admit your line about the humorless television programming caused me to chuckle. Involuntarily, of course.

          • Slapweasel

            Thanks, mm. It was an entertaining couple of hours.

          • marylandman

            I’ll admit your line about the humorless television programming caused me to chuckle. Involuntarily, of course.

        • marylandman

          Much as they always have. Ever heard of the civil war? Reconstruction? The civil rights movement? The south is full of bigots, there’s no two ways about it.

      • Iacobus

        Wait, the South is somehow stopping us all from, “progressing?”

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        (And this comes from a soon-to-be-ex-Yankee, by the way. Enjoy your little empire of dirt while it lasts, Ye-With-Blinders-On.)

      • Slapweasel

        I see what you did there. I think I’ve heard that ol’ bigoted chestnut before. You forgot the word “redneck”, bigot. You should always throw that in, you know, …for the kids.

        • marylandman

          Ohhh redneck is soooo offensive. I’m so so sorry I offended the white hetero-normative patriarchy.

          • Slapweasel

            What enormous nomenclature for a bigoted ne’er-do-well! Your Lexicon is surely only surpassed by your hatred.
            …surely.

          • Slapweasel

            What enormous nomenclature for a bigoted ne’er-do-well! Your Lexicon is surely only surpassed by your hatred.
            …surely.

        • marylandman

          Ohhh redneck is soooo offensive. I’m so so sorry I offended the white hetero-normative patriarchy.

      • Slapweasel

        I see what you did there. I think I’ve heard that ol’ bigoted chestnut before. You forgot the word “redneck”, bigot. You should always throw that in, you know, …for the kids.

    • marylandman

      Yeah, if we could get the South unstuck somehow then maybe this country could progress for the first time in years.

  • Fire and Adjust!

    Saul Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals

    RULE 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” There is no defense.
    It’s irrational. It’s infuriating. It also works as a key pressure point
    to force the enemy into concessions.

    • syvyn11

      Hate to say it, but we need to use Alinksy’s rules for our side. And please do not say “Conservatives are better than that”. Right now it’s about winning. If we do this “Marques of Queensberry rules” crap that McCain and Romney did, we’ll lose in 2016.

      Get used to it. Democrats know that politics is a bloodsport. We need to treat it the same way.

      Less like Picard, more like Sisko.

      • Fire and Adjust!

        I don’t disagree one bit. “Nice guys finish last” was never more accurate than when referring to politics…….. although I believe it would be more beneficial to put Sun Tzu to use than Alinsky…….

      • $7610427

        The Dems referring to Rubio as a “wetback”…terrible, just terrible. RACISTS!

      • WisconsinPatriot

        Someone above started the label “thirster”…….I like it and hope it sticks!

      • WisconsinPatriot

        Someone above started the label “thirster”…….I like it and hope it sticks!

      • marylandman

        Republicans invented dirty politics. Ever heard of Lee Atwater? Karl Rove? You guys are thick.

        • Slapweasel

          *yawn*

          • marylandman

            No response, as per usual. Ignore the facts, as per usual.

          • Slapweasel

            “Invented”… you mean like Jefferson and Hamilton and Adams calling each other “merchants of death”, or calling wives “whores” -? Invented like that?

            …as per usual.

          • marylandman

            I don’t think you understand how to use the phrase “as per usual” but that doesn’t surprise me at all. They teach English in grade school which I’m sure you never finished.

          • Slapweasel

            Yup… failed-out in the third grade. I dun taught m’self the big words by watching you; you paragon of language, diplomacy and couth!

          • marylandman

            You’re too kind.

          • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

            Hey dummy, he is telling you dirty politics was around long before the Republican Party existed. And you call us thick….

          • Slapweasel

            “Invented”… you mean like Jefferson and Hamilton and Adams calling each other “merchants of death”, or calling wives “whores” -? Invented like that?

            …as per usual.

          • mike_in_kosovo

            You’re entitled your own opinion – you just make the mistake of thinking it’s fact.

        • Slapweasel

          *yawn*

        • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

          I love how people bring up a political strategist like Lee Atwater like he is the end all be all of the GOP. It’s like saying George Stephanopoulos is the most important man in the Democrat Party.

          • marylandman

            I know it’s better for you if people play down the role of race baiter Lee Atwater in today’s Republican party, but seeing as how Republican tactics changed with Lee Atwater and remain that way thanks to disciples like Karl Rove, his legacy is an undeniable stain on your party that persists to this day. I’m sure you’re familiar with Lee’s most famous quote:

            “You start out in 1954 by saying, ‘Ni66er, ni66er, ni66er.’ By 1968 you can’t say ‘ni66er’—that hurts you, backfires. So you say stuff like, uh, forced busing, states’ rights, and all that stuff, and you’re getting so abstract. Now, you’re talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you’re talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is, blacks get hurt worse than whites.… ‘We want to cut this,’ is much more abstract than even the busing thing, uh, and a hell of a lot more abstract than ‘Ni66er, ni66er.’ ”

            That’s the SAME strategy employed by the Republican party of today. You whine about non-existent voter fraud (remember the Republican woman who got arrested trying to prove how easy voter fraud is?) in order to disenfranchise poor black voters. You use the guise of “getting tough on crime” to lock up non-violent drug users who are disproportionally black when everyone knows white people use drugs the same amount. Romney LIED and said that Obama removed the work requirement for welfare (a complete lie) because his strategists know when they say “welfare” that bigoted Republicans hear “black people.” Republicans push for a flat tax, or the elimination of income tax and raise of sales taxes, both of which would disproportionally hit lower class citizens and minorities. Obama is called a Kenyan socialist Muslim PRECISELY because calling him the n-word would “backfire,” in the words of Lee Atwater. Republicans have also called him “tar baby” and Sarah Palin said he was “shuckin’ n’ jivin’.” Colin Powell even called your party out for its BS.

            The idea that George Stephanopoulos had the same influence on the Democrats as Lee had (and continues to have) on the Republicans just shows your ignorance, really.

          • http://extremesplash.wordpress.com/ Ben Bollman

            HAHAHAHA everything you just said is complete and utter nonsense. You are just illustrating that you liberals are insanely obsessed about race and have to fight invisible straw men in order to paint us as the racists that you yourselves really are. You project your racism onto us, nobody is buying that when you say Republicans hear “black people” when “welfare” is mentioned that you really aren’t talking about yourselves. You’re not worth my time.

      • marylandman

        Republicans invented dirty politics. Ever heard of Lee Atwater? Karl Rove? You guys are thick.

  • Sue

    I just don’t see what’s so funny about Rubio grabbing a bottle of water while giving a speech. It’s such an insignificant thing, that you know the only reason people are saying anything about it is because they don’t like Rubio.

    • lainer51

      and they cover for O.

      • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

        They cover for the “O” in the same way a dog’s tail does.

        (think about it for a minute)

    • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

      they must not like water either. the waterboy is gonna be pissed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

      they must not like water either. the waterboy is gonna be pissed.

    • marylandman

      It’s because he wilted under the pressure of a SPEECH. How can anyone expect him not to do the same as president?

      • Slapweasel

        What did “uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Obama” say about this? Whatever it was, I’m sure he was clear.

        • marylandman

          Obama may say “uh” but I’ve never seen him look afraid of the moment.The fact that Obama has a verbal tic while measuring his words does not compare to sweating profusely, nervous gestures, and looking like a total peen.

          • Slapweasel

            Yup… he’s “cool”. That’s what you want in a cult of personality. Smooooth, sweet, class-warfare with a sparkle in the eye.

            I forget, in front of that Town Hall, didn’t he say something about breathalyzers for the, you know, ….asthmatic kids?

            -Was that before or after he told people that doctors want to cut people’s feet off, you know, …for profit?

          • marylandman

            As usual, you have no response to the fact that Rubio can’t handle the pressure of the presidency.

          • Slapweasel

            Ad hominem, unprovable bullshit is your department, amigo. I’m just here for the fireworks and potato salad.

          • Slapweasel

            Yup… he’s “cool”. That’s what you want in a cult of personality. Smooooth, sweet, class-warfare with a sparkle in the eye.

            I forget, in front of that Town Hall, didn’t he say something about breathalyzers for the, you know, ….asthmatic kids?

            -Was that before or after he told people that doctors want to cut people’s feet off, you know, …for profit?

        • marylandman

          Obama may say “uh” but I’ve never seen him look afraid of the moment.The fact that Obama has a verbal tic while measuring his words does not compare to sweating profusely, nervous gestures, and looking like a total peen.

      • Slapweasel

        What did “uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Obama” say about this? Whatever it was, I’m sure he was clear.

    • marylandman

      It’s because he wilted under the pressure of a SPEECH. How can anyone expect him not to do the same as president?

    • Rabid

      The only thing I found funny about it is the all too human moment when you could almost hear him thinking ” Oh Shit ..why did I set it over THERE???”

  • HARP2

    From what I`m hearing in the Hispanic community, they are getting pissed with the media calling Rubio a “wetback”.

  • Jack Deth

    Politico.

    The political equivalent of erecting a Deer Crossing Sign. Then complaining when the deer do not cross the road anywhere near it!

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil
      • Jack Deth

        Thanks for the pallet cleanser, Phil!

      • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

        WoW. That is a whole lotta #FAIL O.O

      • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

        WoW. That is a whole lotta #FAIL O.O

  • therantinggeek

    I stopped participating on Politico’s forums a long time ago because of the continual drivel and rhetoric spewed by the Left-leaning participants. I don’t know how many times my comments were flagged for review simply because I made a valid point with my arguments. Sadly, there were very few moderates, and even fewer Conservatives on that site.

    To see Politico try to make a mountain out of a molehill, so to speak, is nothing new for them.

  • http://twitter.com/die_mich_zwei Spatial Awareness

    .@POLITICOvideo …..Yes, just keep bringing up Rubio. That’s it, just keep doing that. It’s a VERY GOOD idea. Keep saying RUBIO. >:^)

  • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

    well, at least this is one thing a politician can blame on a youtube video. hillary, take note.

  • marylandman

    Rubio couldn’t hack it. He was nervous and sweating all speech. If he can’t give a speech on national television, how can we expect him to withstand the pressure of being president? Well, we can’t.

    • Slapweasel

      You said that. You’re repeating yourself, much like “uh-uh-uh-uh-” Captain Corpse-Man Obama.

      • marylandman

        Hilarious that you would post the same response to me twice yet tell me that I’m repeating myself. #conservativelogic

        • Slapweasel

          I understand that your “Bill Mahr-trained” sense of humor can only digest hatred and bigotry, and one small slice at a time, but follow me here:

          That, in the comedy world is called “call-back”. Say it with me, bigot:

          Heck, I’ll spot you the “c”. It sounds like a “k”-sound. -like: Kaul-bak.

          It is the art of bringing something back that was previously mentioned, it’s like a “kicker”! See? Wasn’t that fun?

          Let’s try another, only bigger. What do you call a bigoted, self-entitled, pompous, arrogant, factually-challenged man from Maryland who can’t tell his ass from a hole-in-the-ground?

          Marylandman!

          …see what I did there?

          You’re FUN!

          • marylandman

            Conservatives have absolutely no sense of humor. All conservative humor is hateful and vile. That’s why you’ll never see a show like the Daily Show or Colbert Report run by conservatives. They’re not funny. You fall directly into that category.

            Also, Bill Maher is not funny.

            Also, I doubt your terms “call-back” and “kicker” have ever been used by a comedian. Well, maybe back in the 50s or 40s, aka the time period your party lives in.

          • Slapweasel

            I’m glad we agree that Mr. Maher is indeed, not funny.

            Are you saying I’m not funny, too? That’s gonna skin the ol’ knee a little, amigo. I think you were just trying to be mean, but that’s okay. I’ll still play.

            Say, bigot, why do you think Conservatives don’t have comedy shows? It can’t be that they’re devoid of humor. …That’s just downright impossible.

            I have a sneaking suspicion that a bigot like you thinks it is because of all the “Jooooooos” in the media. You don’t like Southerners or “Jooooooos”, do you?

          • marylandman

            I hope you can appreciate the irony of you calling me bigoted, and I’m glad you finally revealed yourself for who you are. Please, tell me more about your anti-Semitic conspiracy theory. Maybe if I keep you talking long enough, you’ll let the n-word slip.

            And to answer your question, there are no conservative comedy shows because conservatives are completely devoid of humor.

          • Slapweasel

            Gee whiz! With me being all Jewish and all? How do you spell “conundrum”, bigot? I forgot. You know, the whole “third-grade-thing” and all.

          • marylandman

            I see you’re employing the Republican tactic of repeating an untruth over and over again to the point that you believe it yourself. That doesn’t change the fact that YOU, not I, brought up “Joos” (your spelling) in the media. Just a tip, the people concerned about Jewish control of the media ARE CONSERVATIVES.

          • Slapweasel

            That’s a gas, amigo! I’ve never heard of that. I just figured since you were all about stereotyping humorless Conservatives and backwards Southerners… (nice slipping in of “numberish” to cover your butt!), you’d go further down that rabbit-hole. I’ll wait, though.

          • marylandman

            I don’t hate southerners. In fact, I have lots of family in Arkansas and Texas. I’m just saying it’s lunacy to deny the fact that the south has the highest concentration of uneducated racists and that the red states mooch off the federal government by taking more federal dollars than they return in taxes. Blue states, on the other hand, return a profit to the federal government. So it would be nice if the north could stop its subsidy of southern buttholes.

          • Iacobus

            Is *that* why Massachusetts is in the red? lol

          • mike_in_kosovo

            Wow…still going that that “red state mooching” that was debunked several years ago? Sad…

            http://www.willisms.com/archives/texasversuscaliforniawelfare.gif

          • marylandman

            At least read what I wrote before posting an inane response. Yes, blue states take more in pure dollar amount than red states. That’s only because blue states are wonderful paradises that have higher populations. What I’m talking about is the NET revenue for the federal government. While blue states take more welfare money, we also have richer citizens who pay more in taxes, meaning that the federal government GETS more money from blue states than it GIVES to blue states. Red states have more poverty and “47 percenters” (as Romney calls them) so the federal government GIVES more money to red states than it GETS back from red states. Hence, blue states subsidize red states.

            http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/blogs/the_reckoning/2012/10/non-payers-by-state.jpg/_jcr_content/renditions/original

            Oh the irony of Mitt’s 47% comments, decrying moochers and his base at the same time.

          • mike_in_kosovo

            I *did* read what you wrote – it was bullshit, and the welfare scatter plot shows that your comment about 47%’ers being concentrated in the red states is bullshit, too.

          • mike_in_kosovo

            Looks like quite a lot of states with blue dots in the ‘moocher’ category, skippy.

            http://www.arktimes.com/binary/f504/1329925178-redstatemoochers.png

            To expand that… there’s 10 Dem states and 14 Rep states that are at or over the 1/1 ratio.

            Dem state average: $1.55 aid per $1 tax
            Rep state average: $1.54 aid per $1 tax

          • mike_in_kosovo

            Looks like quite a lot of states with blue dots in the ‘moocher’ category, skippy.

            http://www.arktimes.com/binary/f504/1329925178-redstatemoochers.png

            To expand that… there’s 10 Dem states and 14 Rep states that are at or over the 1/1 ratio.

            Dem state average: $1.55 aid per $1 tax
            Rep state average: $1.54 aid per $1 tax

          • mike_in_kosovo

            I *did* read what you wrote – it was bullshit, and the welfare scatter plot shows that your comment about 47%’ers being concentrated in the red states is bullshit, too.

      • marylandman

        Hilarious that you would post the same response to me twice yet tell me that I’m repeating myself. #conservativelogic

    • Slapweasel

      You said that. You’re repeating yourself, much like “uh-uh-uh-uh-” Captain Corpse-Man Obama.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Maybe if Monica Lewinsky had fellated him on air…

    Heh. And there was a cigar involved…a Cuban one…

    Beaners need water, it’s hot down there…cuz democrats assure us, he’s not from here…

    He took a sip!…of what 70% of the human body consists of.

    He’s a witch! Burn him!!!

    Can’t wait for Debbie Wasserman Schultz to have her next on camera aneurism.

  • Lamontyoubigdummy

    Maybe if Monica Lewinsky had fellated him on air…

    Heh. And there was a cigar involved…a Cuban one…

    Beaners need water, it’s hot down there…cuz democrats assure us, he’s not from here…

    He took a sip!…of what 70% of the human body consists of.

    He’s a witch! Burn him!!!

    Can’t wait for Debbie Wasserman Schultz to have her next on camera aneurism.

  • Tom Bannigan

    I think when ever someone goes on a news program for an interview or anything, they should hold up a bottle of water and tease the camera crew with it. Pretend that they are going to go for a drink, continually…

    • marylandman

      That sounds neither productive nor humorous.

      • Slapweasel

        I’m going to have to agree with you on this one, mm. Buuuuuut… I’m a “humorless Conservative”. I’ll just try to tag along.

        You go. I’ll learn!

        • marylandman

          That’s two things we agree on now, the other being that Bill Maher is not at all funny.

          • Slapweasel

            That, we do.

          • Slapweasel

            Regular-ass bridge-builders, we are.

  • mike_in_kosovo

    Maybe Politico should be more worried about the lasting effects of being a bunch of useful idiots for the Dems.

  • sb36695

    What is politico?

  • sb36695

    What is politico?

  • disqus_BktOMwqkBg

    Senator Rubio needs a plan to win back the shallow thinkers and media mensa members who think that drinking water is a fatal political flaw.Perhaps he can date a Kardashian.

  • CrashFroelich

    What truly concerns me is that the Blue Jackal Tribe is so oblivious of their own monumental shortcomings that they can justify misanthropy toward their fellow citizens.

  • CrashFroelich

    What truly concerns me is that the Blue Jackal Tribe is so oblivious of their own monumental shortcomings that they can justify misanthropy toward their fellow citizens.

  • Margarita Banbanaste

    Really? like Benghazi destroyed Hillary Clinton and Obama. How drinking water can destroy a career? You liberals are terrified.