Seriously, find a hashtag. Any political hashtag. Conservatives own it then progs fail miserably in their attempts of one-upsmanship. #fail
—
LilMissBjorn (@LilMissRightie) February 05, 2013Liberals are nothing if not gluttons for punishment. Time after time, they think they’ve struck gold with a hashtag, and time after time, happy conservative warriors expertly take it over. Libs should know better. But they don’t. And once again, they’ve fallen victim to an epic hijacking.
Earlier this week, lefty geniuses came up with the oh-so-inspired #ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut hashtag. Entries include gems like this:
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I always put PEOPLE before PROFITS.—
Captain Clarion (@UnshackleUS) February 03, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I have the ability to think for myself.—
Focus On Progress (@FocusOnProgress) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I passed my science and math classes.—
Chris (@ThatOtherChris) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I didn't want to live my life in fear and ignorance—
SpreadTheWord (@word_34) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I was raised to respect others, help those in need, & not to be a racist idiot. I was raised RIGHT—
Mrs Ziggy (@MrsZiggy1988) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I see women as human beings rather than objects, and I believe you should be able to marry whoever you want.—
Ben Flick (@Benflick) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut i believe women can and should make their own reproductive healthcare choices—
Marissa (@arieswriter) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I think "don't tread on me" counts for women, gays & minorities too, not just old gun toting white men.—
Brad Tracy (@BradTracy2032) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut instead, I decided to be a fully developed human being with empathy and a conscience.—
Deep Ecomedy (@DeepEcomedy) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I was born with an open mind and free will.—
Ms Facetious; PhD✌ (@Miss_Facetious) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut 1) I was born w/ both a vagina & the ability to think for myself and 2) I believe in equality—
Sociologist4Equality (@Angelete71) February 05, 2013
That is, like, so deep — and so ripe for a good, old-fashioned hijacking. And that’s exactly what’s happened. Conservatives and Republicans seized the opportunity to dole out some inconvenient truth to those self-righteous liberal drones:
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut my parents never taught me it was wrong to take what isn't yours.—
American Elephant (@AmericnElephant) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut a rich white guy named Chris Matthews on MSNBC told me they are racist and hate poor people.—
The Young Cons (@YoungCons) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I'm dead. Stupid GOP won't let me vote anymore.—
Jim Branch (@jamesbranch3) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I prefer others pay for my healthcare and I like it when people take away my constitutional rights.
—
Lexi Jo (@LexiKristan) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut instead I'm going to tout "thinking for myself" while denying that Republican women do the same.—
Inez Feltscher (@InezFeltscher) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut underaged Dominican hookers.—
Jim J (@anthropocon) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I'd be expected to act like an adult, I cant be responsible for myself! Someone has to take care of me!—
JWWright (@TheWrightWingv2) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I still believe gun control is the answer despite that policy failing miserably in cities like Chicago and DC.—
Scott Thorn (@s_thorn) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I prefer to delude myself that Democrat-controlled inner cities have done wonders for poverty.—
Nancy (@Of_Angelis) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut: I let my skin color determine my vote, not math…—
El SOOPer!! (@SooperMexican) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut I'm white and not racist and feel sorry for black Republicans who don't know what's best for them.—
Ben Howe (@BenHowe) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenARepublicanBut Debating is more fun when you don't have to use facts.—
Bethany Bowra (@BethanyBowra) February 05, 2013
The hijacking alone would have been enough. But since when has the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy ever stopped at just good enough? Conservatives launched a hashtag counterattack of their own:
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I was born with a brain & use it daily.—
בועזיז (@Boazziz) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I know that there are 4 letters in the word J-O-B-S!—
iBucks4ever (@clybucks) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I care about small businesses and actually getting the economy on track.—
Ryan J. Kazlauskas (@ryan_kazlauskas) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut my daddy raised me to work for my money & not wait for a check every month 🐘🇺🇸 #Merica—
Shannon Smith (@shannanigans0) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenaDemocratBut I don't like participation trophies.—
Mrs. Q (@IQgirl4Freedom) February 04, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I am responsible for my own actions not society.—
Michael Moon (@Moondizog) February 05, 2013
#icouldhavebeenademocratbut I have respect for the whole Constitution, not just the parts I like at the moment.—
Phineas Fahrquar (@irishspy) February 05, 2013
#icouldhavebeenademocratbut when a liberal professor calls one a "waste of a educated black man" for not thinking like him, pass.—
Shaughn (@Shaughn_A) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I believe in working for your money and earning your own paycheck. Not this shared wealth crap.—
Regan McArthur (@ReganMcArthur) February 05, 2013
#icouldhavebeenademocratbut I'm not that shameless.—
Phineas Fahrquar (@irishspy) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenADemocratBut I was raised to work for my own things, not take everyone else's—
Briana Wiggins (@BrianaWiggins) February 05, 2013
#ICouldHaveBeenaDemocratBut I still have this craving for limited, constitutional government. Hopefully the GOP gets that, too.—
Smitty (@smitty_one_each) February 04, 2013
Amen to that.
