Teresa Heinz Kerry declares herself Secretary of State’s priority hot spot

Would John Kerry have been confirmed so easily as Secretary of State if we’d known this mental image would have been the first order of business after the swearing in?

But seriously, folks, he’ll be reporting for duty next week.

  • Joe W.

    We are doomed.

  • http://apostrophejones.com/ Gloves Donahue, Jr.

    John F. Ketchup better smile, if he wants his allowance this week.

  • gracepmc

    Ouch! Knew she was coming, but so soon out of the warm bosoms of his Senate buddies? There’s always a price to be paid.

  • Matthew Koch

    As Bender would say, “We’ll we’re boned!”

  • 1SkepticalChick

    He’s all into ketchup, and pickle relish. So no time to work today.

  • TocksNedlog

    Perhaps we should be practicing SELECTIVE

  • $23629333

    If I were as rude as your average portsider, I would joke that the only known progeny of JK and THK is working for a circus. But I’m not rude, so I won’t.

  • TocksNedlog

    That confused look you see on the new Secretary of State’s face is him struggling to remember the last time his wife’s spot was actually hot.

  • TocksNedlog

    There’s a ‘duty’ that NOBODY wants to report for!

  • $496051

    Henry J. Heinz is rolling in his grave.

  • tjcuzns

    Incredible! Multiple D-bags. United by stupidity.

  • http://ownthenarrative.com/user/29 Sarge_87

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • George Washington Mclintock

    World War III in our lifetime!!!

  • David Bruce

    He swooped in on the Heinz fortune before the late Senator’s body was cold .

  • Pat Loudoun

    The Wrong is strong with that entire episode.

  • bicentennialguy

    Isn’t it just sweet that these two gold diggers found each other?

  • Steve_J

    She’s 75, isn’t it time she grew up?

  • nc

    She’s baaaaack!

  • ozconservative

    Well….that gave me a mental image I didn’t want.

  • brewerandpatriot

    I wonder if she has a little 57 near her erogenous area on which JK raps vigorously to get said “hot spot” flowing…

  • DrSamHerman

    Anybody remember when she was “Teresa”, Mrs. John Heinz? After that she became “Tuh Ray Zah”, Mrs. Ketchup Gigolo.

  • Eric Schmitt

    i have a confession; i was 18-years-old and a liberal back in 2004, so John Kerry was the first person who i ever voted for with regards to the presidency. so this doofus will always have a special place in my heart.

    • Penmar

      Might I suggest intensive therapy to help you get over it.

  • 3seven77

    Maybe John will get her an ambassador gig somewhere. I hear there’s an opening in Libya…

  • http://twitter.com/commonsenseobse commonsenseobserver

    It’s a bit disconcerting that two former potential First Ladies, one’s name starting with “T” and the other’s starting with “A”, can be so different.