Worlds collide: ‘Star Trek’ director to helm new ‘Star Wars’ film

“Episode VII” quickly climbed Twitter’s list of trending topics this afternoon when news leaked that a director had been found for the upcoming seventh entry in the “Star Wars” film “trilogy.” J.J. Abrams, who was charged with rebooting the “Star Trek” film series, has reportedly signed on to direct. The universe didn’t quite explode, but the news has rocked fans of both franchises.

Just how big is this news?

“Star Wars” fans are dreading Abram’s penchant for shaky-cam and lens flares taking their franchise to the dark side.

It’s not the first time fans have imagined a crossover between the two franchises, but today’s announcement has kick-started a universe of possibilities.

Cleanup in Theater 7.


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  • Lord Foggybottom

    Chris Christie can play Jabba the Hutt’s kid…

    • torpedoman2002

      No Christie would have to loose some weight first.

    • Brett McMicken

      an imperial officer who survived the first death star explosion (he got drunk, hit his head, developed a blood clot, and had to have surgery), while on trial before the imperial senate: “at this point, what difference does it make whether I pushed the button that destroyed alderaan?!”

    • rinodino

      Then is rush jabba?

      • Lord Foggybottom

        Sure, if Obama gets to be the Emperor. Ha! What am I saying, gets???

      • Noah Lee

        are you fucking Al Franken?! your jokes were more relevant in the 90’s.

      • Noah Lee

        are you fucking Al Franken?! your jokes were more relevant in the 90’s.

  • Brett McMicken

    ewoks dance while throwing tribbles in the air

  • TheOriginalDonald

    Star Wars VII:LOST #WillJJAbramsRuinDoctorWhoNext

  • matthh7

    Good now maybe he’ll leave star trek alone and stop ruining it!

  • Jack Deth

    George Lucas has always been a mediocre director who is cursed with the inability to leave well enough alone.

    The ‘Star Wars’ franchise consists of episodes 4 and 5. Everything else is garbage.

    J.J. Abrams is a much better producer than a writer or director. I don’t see where he can possibly help either the ‘Star Trek’ or ‘Star War’ franchises.

    • TheOriginalDonald

      EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WillJJAbramsRuinBabylon5Next?????????

    • AaronHarrisinAlaska

      3, 4, and 5. A New Hope was just as integral to the whole mythos as Empty Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.

      If JJ wants to do a good job I think he might wanna talk to an author by the name of Timothy Zhan, other wise he runs the risk of having his movies disregarded by fans more than they did the prequels.

      • Jack Deth

        Duly noted Aaron:

        Though I have a question. Why does a lot of the tech in earlier ‘Star Wars’ films (episodes 1, 2 and 3) look a lot cooler and more advanced than in episodes 4 and 5?

        Something’s ass backwards there.

        Also have a bone to pick with J.J. in using parts of the Anhueser Bush processing plant and its piping in California for engineering sections in his 2009 ‘Star Trek’.

        • stuckinIL4now

          We know the answer to your question in our universe due to the 20-year gap, but consider this: in eps 4-6, their world had been thrown into darkness so maybe that meant scarcity, no progress in tech and a sliding backwards having to steal and refurbish old stuff in the absence of new bcuz the emperor had confiscated all the resources which he had tied up in perpetuating his dictatorship and building useless flawed Death Stars. And I wonder if something like that is happening in our current Amerikka …

  • ceemack

    Maybe this is why Michelle Obama changed her look from Wookie to Romulan for the inauguration…

    • rinodino

      What did Barbara bush change her look to?

      • madian_kikyou

        From a human to a human. She didn’t change. LOL

  • BeeKaaay

    Darth Vader: I am your father!

    Captain Kirk: NOOOOOOOO!

    • GaryTheBrave

      Darth Vader: And Uhura is your mother.

      Lando Calarissian: COOOOL!

  • rinodino

    J J is a hit or miss director We shall see

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    Before Star Wars does Episode VII, they should do the back-story on Landau Caressian and Han Solo. Just sayin’… Jawamax 8<{D}