‘Fake But Accurate Grit’: Conservatives imagine hilarious #LiberalWesterns

The progressive language police have done their best to rewrite our dictionaries. But what if gun-grabbers and nanny-staters got their hands on our Westerns?

Shudder.

Always givers, conservatives offered up some side-splitting ideas for liberal Western remakes. Let’s kick it off with a film from the people who brought you the “Lie of the Year“:

Blockbusters, each and every one!

Editor’s note: This post originally included a tweet from @jtLOL with the #LiberalWestern “Fake But Accurate Grit.” The post has been amended to indicate that Twitter user @CurtisGrape was actually the first to come up with that clever #LiberalWestern.

  • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

    The Person who Wrote a Strongly Worded Letter to Liberty Valance.

    How the West was Stolen by Evil, White Oppressors.

    Support Your Local Occupy Group Against the Sheriff.

    • Mapache

      Flaming Saddles and A Man Called Liberté Versasce

  • AaronHarrisinAlaska

    Brokeback Mountain :/

    • OpenTheDoor

      Heh, I see what you did there.

    • almarquardt

      Took me a second, but I got it, too!

    • AaronHarrisinAlaska

      Alternately: Broke Backmountain for those of you who don’t get it. See, it’s a double entaundre homonym. Ones a crapy gay western that would have been a crapy romance had one of the male leads been a woman but liberals loved it because it was “controversial” the other is a statement on the affairs of this countries economy.

      I ruined the magic now, didn’t I?

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Broke Bank Mountain XD Jawamax #LiberalWesterns 8<{D}

  • peteee363

    shakiest smoothie in the west.
    support your local slingshot operator.

  • Steve_J

    “A Fistfull of other peoples dollars.”

  • Steve_J

    “For a Few Dollars More, It’s for the Children”

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      Low Swamp Drifter! #LiberalWesterns Jawamax 8<{D}

  • jd

    100 Rifles – as long as they are registered and hold less than 7 rounds…

    • Nan

      And are kept in locked gun safes with their trigger locks on.

    • WingedBishop

      and given to Mexican drug cartels

  • carla5731

    Multi-ethnic Rider
    HUD (the government agency, not Paul Newman)

  • Steve_J

    “Along came the taxman”

  • Steve_J

    “Bandolero, the true story of Fast and Furious”

  • BeeKaaay

    Have slingshot, will travel.

  • laserblast92

    The Republican/Libertarian The Democrat and The Progressive

  • BeeKaaay

    Leftwingado

    • Dallas Worthy

      Goofy rightwingwackos. You just can’t get enough of the liberal media, you have to have a site like Twitchy to rub it in that liberals (the majority in fact) are smarter, more ethical and more successful than you.

      • BeeKaaay

        More ethical? Leftwingwackos are bloodthirsty, they say that children should be killed by being ripped apart limb from limb while railing against school shootings – only because the children suffer less under school shootings.

        Smarter? Leftwingwackos are ignorant of economics, ethics, science, philosophy, logic, morality, religion, and anything that disagrees with them.

        more successful? It is easy to be successful when you’re a crony – the government takes away money by force and gives it to you. That’s how leftwingwackos define success. Having the government take away money from hard working Americans and give it to you.

        • Ken Alan Draper

          and how can he/she/it claim that liberals are a Majority? they are like 2% of the population for crying out loud.

          • JINNASH

            They manage to fool enough people into thinking “O” isn’t a radical. It requires no higher brain function.

      • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

        then why waste your time trolling us? apparently we are more important to you than those ethical, smart, booklearned guys. you must really care a lot about us! yay! liberals notice us! give me your addy so I can add you to my hanukah card list.

        • Dallas Worthy

          I was invited on a liberal forum to come see for myself how crazy you guys are. I have to admit, they were right. This is like watching monkeys at the zoo. Fascinating!

          • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

            yep those dailykos guys sure are a lot more reasoned and ethical and nonpartisan than we are. Why don’t you go back to where you came from?

          • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

            If we are like the monkeys, step a bit closer. I have something to fling.

          • almarquardt

            Funniest thing I’ve read all evening. Thanks!

          • Adela Wagner

            We are a creative funny,imaginative bunch. As far as “watching monkeys at the zoo”…RAAAACIIIIST!!!! If you want more, I invite you to watch ANY MSM or any news show not on Fox or The Blaze, and most movies and sitcoms, reality shows etc.

          • Adela Wagner

            Oh and as far as “Dallas Worthy” yeah right. Bet you walk around Dallas with your sphincter in a perpetual tightened wad.

          • Ken Alan Draper

            he sounds more like “Austin worthy”

          • Jack Deth

            Dallas is selling stupid…. Again!

            Glows in the Dark, Weapons Grade, Blithering Liberal Stupid!

            Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

            Come and watch Dallas bite the heads off of chickens!

            Keeping the true spirit of the Circus and Carnival Side Show Geek alive and well. And liberally left!

            Be amazed! Tell your families and friends!!!

            Dallas will only be here for a short time!

          • lainer51

            I had a feeling you spent alot of the time at the zoo…. I am right AGAIN….

          • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

            Well, a leftard would sure know his monkeys.

          • peteee363

            monkey’s in a zoo, that is a racist statement, coming from a liberal, no surprise here.

          • almarquardt

            If this is your definition of crazy, I’d prefer to not be sane.

          • mike_in_kosovo

            This is like watching monkeys at the zoo.

            That’s exactly what Twitchy is… the window looking into the liberal monkey cage, and here you are flinging sh*t everywhere.

            Dance, monkey, dance.

          • Cyrena

            SO you need liberal forums for what exactly?
            We have a conservative forum because crazy we’re crazy monkeys, but I’m sure liberal forums are completely rational. Maybe I’ll go see what I’m missing out on. I noticed you didn’t mention which liberal forum you’re from. I mean, if you are so sane, you should want us to come over and see, right?

          • DrSamHerman

            Nice try, DallWorthless. Did DKos also provide you with a list of standard talking points because you are incapable of providing anything original?

          • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

            Even tho’ the truth hurts, you should watch FOX NEWS More, Dallas! Jawamax 8<{D}

          • JINNASH

            He can’t do that. he can’t stay up past his bedtime.

          • JINNASH

            Your attempt at snobbery is a failure. Twitchy has real people, real Americans who think for themselves. The left doesn’t.
            And my Evidence(something you lack)======The whole concept of collectivism. The individual must be supressed. To bad you are smart enough to see that.

      • pinkelephant22

        Liberals are more “ethical”? Bahahaha!! You mentally deranged moonbat.

        Left-wing media’s suggestion, or hope, for death & violent acts against Bush, the Bush Administration, the right-wing in general, including in 2012 against Romney, his wife & Paul Ryan’s wife.

        Left-wing media inciting violence calling the military leaders under Bush, “cold-blooded killers”

        Left-wing group beating people & throwing bleach in people’s faces simply for attending the 2008 Republican Convention: tinyurl.com/6et4er

        Left-wing groups’ violence such as the New Black Panthers (one area leader calling for the murder of all white people, including white babies), Earth Liberation Front, Weather Underground, public union members during protests, etc.

        Left-wing group Code Pink with a history of arrests & violating other people’s rights

        Left-wing Congressman Paul Kanjorski regarding Republican Governor, Rick Scott: “Put him against the wall and shoot him”

        Left-wing WI state Rep Gordon Hintz turned to Michelle Litjens (R) and said, “You are f-cking dead.”

        “House Nlgger” .. “Mammy sent to clean White House bathrooms” .. “high-toned public negro” – Liberal Neil Rogers

        “Imagine the horror in Rice’s face .. punch her in the fk’ing face, STFU up bitch” -Liberal radio, Opie & Anthony

        New Hampshire Democratic State Representative Timothy Horrigan posted on Facebook his wish that Sarah Palin and Levy Johnson would have been on board the airplane crash that killed former Alaska Senator Ted Stevens

        THE LIST GOES ON & ON, you brainwashed delusional moron

        • CardiLover

          And don’t forget the excretable Alan Grayson.

        • Terry

          And then there’s Robert “Sheets” Byrd – Dem Senator for eons who was a grand klegal of the KKK. What a guy.

        • thetreyman

          i agree with most but i wouldnt exactly call anthony cumia a liberal. he may be offensive and crass but a liberal he is not.

          • ozconservative

            I wouldn’t say Opie & Anthony are liberal either. Anyone who calls Keith Olbermann a “lunk headed c***” can’t be a liberal.

        • ozconservative

          Don’t forget Mike Malloy

      • laserblast92

        The delusional Left makes it easy….

      • Psalmist1972

        Awwww, did somebody not get their nap today?

        • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

          Mom is washing “blankey.”

          • lainer51

            in the “basement”, no doubt.

        • answer1776

          People like “worthly” is why I do not visit Dallas. My Fort Worth grandpa taught me better.

      • V the K

        Yeah, keep telling yourself that; along with “Obama has the most open, transparent presidency ever,” “Obama is the most fiscally responsible president ever,” and “Bill Clinton only ever cheated on Hillary once, with Monica.”

      • J. Cox

        99% of America’s jails are filled with your “ethical” brethren,who are so smart,that most get jobs like “internet troll”…..but you already knew that didn’t you fail troll?

      • Jack Deth

        Nah.

        I’m just going to sit on the sidelines and admire others smacking you around so diligently.

        • Teresa Davis McCormick

          LOL that’s what I was thinking too. pass the popcorn!

      • lainer51

        Goofy leftwingwackos. You just can’t get enough of the conservative media, you have to have a site like Media Matters to rub it in that conservatives (the majority in fact) are smarter, more ethical and more successful than you

      • dwsmokin

        That’s the funniest one yet!

      • http://pennyrobinsonfanclub.net/ PennyRobinsonFanClub

        LOL, says the nickel-a-word Media Matters hack.

      • WisconsinPatriot

        You are such a buzzkill :( I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and then …….along comes DALLAS DARKCLOUD! Bless your little heart!

      • Jewish Right Winger

        HA….this from the party that embraces Saul Alinsky!!!!

      • ozconservative

        Air America…..there’s a shining example of libtard success for you.

        “This program is proudly sponsored by the “Impeach George Bush Snakes ‘n’ Ladders game””

        BWAHAHAHAHAHA

      • Cyrena

        Debi Starks pwned you.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bruce-A-Frank/100001390130794 Bruce A. Frank

        Smarter and more ethical? And you poster boy is. . .Joe Bidewn?

      • JINNASH

        SMARTER?!?!?! Listen to the BBC’s podcast USEFUL IDIOTS. Reporters and “intellectuals” were suckered by the communists. Just like today. They are not smart at all since their ideas always FAIL in real life. They only sound smart to those people who refuse to think for themselves.
        Ethical? BS. They rationalize selfishness.
        Successful? If you mean people paying large salaries then you will have to contend with Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, etc. They smoke MSNBC is every category.

    • Voting Female

      Dallas Worthy <=== Delusions of Matter-hood. *rolleyes*

  • ember

    How The West Wing Was Won
    Butch Hillary & The BigEared Kid

  • BeeKaaay

    Butch Cassidy and her Lesbian Lover

  • http://www.theconservativevoices.com/ dmacleo

    #LiberalWesterns Broke My Butt Mountain

  • BeeKaaay

    How the West was Taxed

  • BeeKaaay

    Cowboys and Illegal Aliens

    • pinkelephant22

      My personal fave that I read on Twitter: Cowboys & Elizabeth Warren

    • 1weaver1

      This will never do, s/b Bovine-Persons & Undocumented Laborers.

  • BeeKaaay

    A fistful of taxes

  • BeeKaaay

    Desolation Nation

  • BeeKaaay

    No country for anyone.

  • BeeKaaay

    Back to the Looture part III

  • BeeKaaay

    Gunsmoke violation notice, can’t smoke here.

  • BeeKaaay

    The last of the rightwingers

  • Let’em Crash

    F Troop becomes either D Cup or G Spot. (Married with Children joke)

  • http://www.facebook.com/noah.lee3 Noah Lee

    treasure of the Sierra Obama

  • twolaneflash

    Roy Rogers and his wonder horse in “My Pal TriggerLock”.

    • Mapache

      Roy Rogers and Bob Evans

      • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

        It might not be a good movie, but would make a great sandwich!

  • OpenTheDoor

    Blazing Hemorrhoids
    Broken Promise
    Billy Tyrone

  • twolaneflash

    The Lone Ranger Rides Sidesaddle Again

  • Mapache

    Whore-Wagon; The story of the Obama Campaign Bus

  • Marcus Cicero

    Ft. Southwestern Native Americans.

  • sqeptiq

    #conservativewesterns “The Birchers” (joke based on “The Searchers” starring John Wayne)

    • lainer51

      explaining a comment = LOSER.

  • Julian Chan

    The Solyndra Mile

  • V the K

    The Good, The Bad, and Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro.

    • lainer51

      or – the good, the bad and Wasserman-Schultz

      • V the K

        Better.

  • Jack Deth

    #LiberalWesterns: “The War Waaaaaaaaahhhhhmbulance”

    #LiberalWesterns: “The Man Who Hugged Liberty Valance”

    #LiberalWesterns: “The Unruly Bunch”

    #LiberalWesterns: “How The West Was Stolen From Peaceful Native Americans”

    #LiberalWesterns: “The Outlaw Gun Owner, Josie Wales”

  • RightThinking1

    The Lone Changer
    Hopalong Audacity
    The Shootless
    High Plains Grifter
    The Sons of Jocelyn Elder
    Whya Twerp
    Rio Dodo
    Northwest Massage

  • peteee363

    best little progressive house in texas?

  • Catchance

    Paint Your Wagon Pink with Sparkles.
    The Unthinkable Van Jones

  • Bristel

    Tax Bonanza

  • lainer51

    The Ballad of Joey “plugs” Biden

    Wild Wild West without guns
    Alien Outlaw (with free health care)

  • Let’em Crash

    This one

  • jd

    “Have Gun Will Travel” – across the border to the drug cartels

  • IloiloKano

    The Life And Times Of Judge Mister Bean

  • Combaticron

    Never mind. Twitchy rules!

  • nc

    The Tin Star For Everyone!

  • BeeKaaay

    The best little whorehouse for politicians.

  • Leann

    Free Birth control for Sister Sara

    • lainer51

      good one

  • Ken Alan Draper

    Blow Smoke!
    For a few taxpayer dollars more
    Paint your hybrid wagon
    The illegal libyan war wagon
    Blazing twaddles
    Bo cassidy & the braindead kid
    High plains grifter
    the alwaysforgiven
    Spending bonanza

  • disappearing moderate

    She Wore a Pink Vagina Costume.

  • BeeKaaay

    In pursuit of your money

  • BeeKaaay

    Mild Mild West

  • BeeKaaay

    Stale Rider

  • BeeKaaay

    Scamanza

  • BeeKaaay

    Billy Clinton the Kid

  • BeeKaaay

    Trollhide

  • BeeKaaay

    Last Train to Marxistville….

  • BeeKaaay

    Incarcerate your local Gun Owner

  • http://twitter.com/mklo096 Adi

    The magnificent 23 executive orders on gun grabbing.
    3:10 to my EBTs arriving in the mail.
    The lone rightwinger imprisoned for his own good.

  • DrSamHerman

    How the West Went Through Sensitivity Training

  • http://twitter.com/MoueLaMoue Moue La Moue (D)

    #LiberalWesterns The Unkempt dozen

  • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

    #LiberalWesterns RIO MEDIOCRE XD LOL Jawamax 8<{D}

  • Christoph DeHaven

    Undocumented. High Shroom. Tax ’em High. The Birchers.

  • quasiknorto

    Funny but movies like Fistful of Dollars, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, etc. are actually critiques of Conservative American immorality so one could argue they are already pretty liberal. Obviously the scientifically and academically proven simplicity of conservative thought and self assured righteousness prevents you from realizing it. I’ll anticipate the liberal remarks despite me not being a liberal (because everything is black and white) or this comment being deleted because instead of actually causing any self reflection it incites a flurry of reactionary circle jerk responses that you feel validate your viewpoint due to a ‘mob mentality’ (the telltale sign of mentally immature people and prominent among your average conservative).

    • BeeKaaay

      What was that? Your bloodthirst is speaking too loud.

      They were critiques of Wild West immorality which had prostitution (something leftwingwackos approve of) killing people because they’re got the wrong opinion (something leftwingwackos approve of) getting drunk and high (something leftwingwackos approve of) treating people as slaves (something leftwingwackos approve of) hurting others (something leftwingwackos approve of)