White House response to Death Star petition is unintentionally funny

The White House has finally found a government spending project is doesn’t support. It cites three main reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Funny! Especially the part about “working hard to reduce the deficit.”

  • Brent Guthrie

    We also haven’t enslaved the wookies from Kashyyyk yet.

    • twolaneflash

      Well, there is this one wookie seen in soetoro’s company on occasion.

      • Brent Guthrie

        That’s a sasquatch.

        • nunya

          I don’t think they call them sasquatch in Kenya.

          • geddys_uncle

            they call them “village feast!”

      • elephant4life

        Isn’t their anniversary Oct. 3?

  • Roberto Guerrero

    “We’re working hard to reduce the deficit”. As soon as I read that line, I started laughing. Loudly!

    • Shawn Smith

      At some point in the past 4 years, someone in Obama’s administration became convinced that the national debt is like an old school video game. If you run it up high enough, a bug will flip it over to negative numbers. They’re working vigorously to test this theory.

      • JustLikeAnimals

        In actuality, it’s more like Pacman attacking the nation’s paychecks…woka-woka-woka-woka-woka….

  • mickeyco

    I can’t believe they denied the petition. All that money to spend? All those jobs to create? All the greenies to please?

  • waltermitty2012

    $850,000,000,000,000,000 is what Obamacare actually costs.

    • http://twitter.com/TruPundit BristolGOP Backup

      Blowing up the planet would be a nice permanent solution to global warming.

    • Mamaelk09

      Obamacare the Death Star in disguise.

  • Measure_for_Measure

    Back in reality, the latest deal did a lot to put the US’s fiscal house in order. And over the longer term, fiscal responsibility begins and ends with health care reform.http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2013/01/were-almost-done-deficit-reduction

    • Shawn Smith

      Yeah, because Obamacare isn’t going to cost the U.S. government a penny. If you believe that, you must be both insane and stupid, because neither one is a sufficient explanation on its own.

      • Zane Henry

        Just consider the source. Mother Jones. They wouldn’t happen to have an axe to grind, would they?.

        “goes a long way” How, exactly? 620 billion dollars over 10 years is going a long way? Spoken like a true spend-a-holic liberal. Don’t worry, we’ll mint a trillion dollar coin and keep the presses running. STUPID. And we all know that precisely none of that money will touch the deficit. it’s going to be used to expand the government and pay off cronies. More can kicking from the admin. Oh, and mark my words, they’re coming back for another bite in maybe 3 months. More tax hikes, ’cause you know….it’s never enough.

        Hippie Dippy and fiscally irresponsible is now way to go through life, son.

        • Measure_for_Measure

          Ad hominem. My citation links to a study by the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

          • Zane Henry

            a liberal “think tank”. an oxymoron, to be sure. Just like Krugman…If we just spend more, we’d be back to normal in six months. nonsense.

          • http://twitter.com/TheAngieNC2 Angie (D)

            WOW — the poster referred to the article in the magazine Mother Jones & you take the reference as an “ad hominem” — you really are a moron (and that’s not an “ad hominem” attack — that’s a statement of fact).

          • Measure_for_Measure

            The ad hominem fallacy consists of attacking the author of the work (Kevin Drum at Mother Jones) rather than the argument itself.

            From the web: “The reason why an Ad Hominem (of any kind) is a fallacy is that the character, circumstances, or actions of a person do not (in most cases) have a bearing on the truth or falsity of the claim being made (or the quality of the argument being made).”

            If I was citing an opinion rather than a factual claim, it would be a different matter. Indeed “Appeal to Authority” is another logical fallacy.

          • Shawn Smith

            “Fiscal responsibility begins and ends with health care reform” is an opinion, not a factual claim.

          • Gallatin

            Center on Budget and Policy Priorities.

            More liars.

      • Measure_for_Measure

        Back in reality, the Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit.




        Liberals and modern conservatives both make claims. The difference is that liberals can back their’s up with facts. When you can’t handle facts, all that’s left are feelings.

        • Finrod Felagund

          You mean the plan that uses 10 years of taxes to pay for 7 years of benefits? How does that work after the first 10 years?

          • Zane Henry

            Silly, they’ll just raise taxes again. Cause you know, fair share!

          • Shawn Smith

            More importantly, what happens after those *seven* years. What pays for that three year gap? Hope and change, I suppose.

          • Zane Henry

            As in, “Hope they don’t hang me upside down and shake all the Change out of my pockets”

          • elephant4life

            There’s no coverage the first three years for most people. Also, have you seen what’s happening to premiums?

        • Gallatin
          • Measure_for_Measure

            Unsubstantiated Ad hominem. Too many modern conservatives simply can’t handle reasoned inquiry.

            Not all though. Let me quote the Jim Manzi of the National Review on Kevin Drum, who penned the Mother Jones piece. “Kevin Drum is a smart and sensible guy.” Manzi disagrees with Drum (on a separate subject – the link between lead poisoning and crime), but he doesn’t suffer from the epistemic closure that too much of the base does.

            Nobody here has given a serious reason to question what is acknowledged by professional analysts: the Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit. It’s a shame.

          • Finrod Felagund

            You never answered the 7 years of benefits vs 10 years of taxes and the sustainability of that over the long term, just more self-righteous puffery.

          • Gallatin

            “Nobody here has given a serious reason to question what is acknowledged by professional analysts: the Affordable Care Act cuts the deficit. It’s
            a shame.”

            I gave you a serious reason, they are liars. I don’t need to give anything other than that.

        • Shawn Smith

          So you’re telling me that nowhere in the 2,700 page document which Pelosi, who passed it, didn’t even read herself, are there hidden costs? Interesting.

          Of course, this claim that it’s deficit neutral depends on the economy staying stable under a massive new tax increase, which is pure fiction. Sure if the economy was doing great, we might be able to afford Obamacare, but as, under Obama, it’s been miserable, and under this new law will get even worse, this is going to be just another bill we can’t pay.

        • WisconsinPatriot

          OMG, I just blew orange juice out of my nose. This is an example of projection. Liberals accusing someone of what they themselves are guilty of. Then, lets quote propaganda sites as “information”. You aren’t even GOOD at being a troll.

    • Shawn Smith

      So the fact that Obama has increased the national debt faster than any president before him means nothing to you, huh? That’s a fact that conservatives can cite. What about the fact that Harry Reid’s senate hasn’t passed a budget in almost four years? That not long ago, they voted down Obama’s budget ninety-nine to ZERO. Those are some interesting facts for us fact-deprived conservatives.

      Or, on a more personal level what about the fact that his treasury secretary, Timothy Geithner, the guy who is in charge of all our money, is a tax cheat who’d rather not contribute himself. Shouldn’t he pay his “fair share”?

      It doesn’t matter what we say, of course, to morons like you, Obama is the messiah and can do no wrong.

    • Shawn Smith

      What about the fact that despite Obama’s promises, tens of millions of Americans who are “rich” only by virtue of earning their money instead of getting a government handout have found their taxes raised? That’s a fact. I suppose you could get Media Matters to somehow declare it false if it makes you feel better.

    • http://twitter.com/TheAngieNC2 Angie (D)

      “Reality” doesn’t mean what you think it means.

    • WisconsinPatriot

      Presenting “progressive” theory as fact simply doesn’t fly here. Mother Jones is a neo-com publication that I wouldn’t consider a valid opinion on anything other than recycling and communal lifestyle issues. FAIL!

  • http://twitter.com/Jefffrye2 Jeff frye

    What scares me is they done a study using our money,and found that a one man star ship could defeat the death star.You know it looks like the old space shuttle but smaller maybe one man,oh that’s up there right now,and can stay up there for 4 to 6 months maybe even a year, could be the outer space unmanned drone are the outer space unmanned armed drone but you know call me crazy look it up it’s your money??

  • TN05

    Putting aside the false claim to fiscal discipline, this response leaves out several key points. For one, even the Death Star PR account admits such an undertaking would strip Earth of all natural materials and the entire populace of Earth (and many more planets) would be required to build it. However, there are a few benefits the White House didn’t mention.

    A) If a shield generator can be placed on a nearby moon, we could protect the Death Star during its constructions. As the nearest moon is uninhabited, no local resistance movement could stop it.

    B) You don’t have to actually blow up planets to get usage out of it; the mere threat would be enough to extort countless planets to do our bidding. It’s amazing how generous people get when the threat of planetary destruction looms over them.

    I believe both of these, while not enough to outweigh (yet) the enormous cost of building a Death Star, are significant advantages we need to take into future consideration. Building an AT-AT Walker and creating an intergalactic empire are key steps we must take first.

    • geddys_uncle

      Your premise is flawed. The nearest moon is inhabited, by Boris the Animal, and the staff at Lunar Max prison….. Wait…. is this before, or after J needs all the chocolatized dairy products he can obtain?

      • TN05

        Any inhabitants of the moon could easily be eliminated by a team of stormtroopers led by one Sith Lord.

    • https://twitter.com/JenineHaggerty Her name is Rio

      Your field generator design sir?

  • Sarge Grissam

    That’s Obama transparency, answer all questions, just don’t tell the truth !

    • Catchance

      Perhaps they could get Solyndra to build the death star.

  • ksimms

    Almost as hilarious as Conservatives saying they care about the middle class!

    • Shawn Smith

      What exactly has the useless twerp in the White House done for the middle class? A constant 7.8% unemployment? Yeah, that’s a big help. If you take into account people who have completely given up looking, of course, it’s much, much worse.

      A health care bill that’s going to have us waiting a month for our government rationed doctor’s appointment? Constant whittling away at religious freedom, freedom of speech, freedom to bear arms? That sounds great. Signing a bill that gives him the right to put Americans in prison forever without even charging them? We should sacrifice our firstborn to him in gratitude.

    • Brian Bennett

      It’s way funnier than that because it’s actually true!

    • http://twitter.com/RedZhenia Zhenia Oleynik

      Stop feeding the trolls. If the twerp wanted a discussion, it would have provided evidence.

      • WisconsinPatriot

        Are you saying that the “everybody just knows” meme isn’t working??????
        YOU NEED FACTS!!!! (pop) …..sound of liberal head exploding.

    • http://twitter.com/thetugboatphil TugboatPhil

      Nowhere near as funny as Regressives complaining about Bush’s overspending and then eagerly wanting Obama to quadruple down on it.

    • Jack Deth

      We have a new candidate for the coveted title of whining, little liberal super hero, “Ass Backwards Man”!

      With 27 (count ’em 27!) whole comments and speaking from an orifice most commonly associated with “two ply facial tissue” while residing in a cozy lair above his mom’s garage. Desperately seeking relevancy and companionship with one who will tolerate ridiculously puerile attempts of seeking attention.

    • http://twitter.com/TheAngieNC2 Angie (D)

      Because the cheap money & no jobs Obama has given us which has only resulted in the mega-rich getting richer while EVERYONE else gets poorer is “caring” about the middle class.
      Econ 101 — how the f*ck does it work?

    • Jeff Coil

      Most conservatives ARE middle class, nimrod.

  • madhatter

    We can all the put all the liberals run it have buffet gates soros and al gore fund it problem solved

  • peteee363

    since when is the whitehouse concerned with the price?

  • Stone Bryson

    And yet still, despite said-deficit, they did a cost-analysis to determine what the price-tag would be. Does that mean they briefly considered it?

    I should not be surprised, for a Death Star IS the ultimate drone. No peace-prize winner in the history of history has loved remote-controlled death and destruction more than the current president…

    • trial

      If by “did a cost-analysis” you mean “had an intern google search ‘cost of the death star’ and click on the third result” then yeah, I guess they did.

      • Stone Bryson

        Sure – seems that’s pretty much how they have handled the economy for the last four years, so why not?

  • Gary Rudick

    We already have a Death Star, but we call it Planned Parenthood instead…

  • Jennifer Hamilton

    What’s really scary is the fact that Obama seems to be believe we can invent the power plants to move all that material into orbit and from star system to star system if he commands, “Make it so”. But then, this exactly mirrors his thinking related to all types of energy. He seriously believes that his administration can demand new forms of energy and radical new inventions will appear out of nothingness.

  • mhojai

    While they can’t seem to find the time to respond to the petitons to secede, they find it important to respond to this drivel …and they tactitly admit they are total morons in that they can recognize a “flaw” in the plans, but admit they’d build it that way!
    (Also after asserting that “lowering the deficit is not really a goal”)
    You really can’t make this crap up!

    • Cedric Freeman

      The response to succession was answered during the civil war.

  • stuckinIL4now

    The response is a ruse. Just wait until Obutthead gets himself declared Emperor, then the muslims running NASA will double their efforts to rush to completion the Death Star project already secretly in progress on the far side of the moon.

    • BigTBoom

      I’m sure he’d have no second thoughts about dissolving the Congress just as the Emperor did the Imperial Senate

  • Tracy Allen

    The problem is that $850,000,000,000,000,000 when spent by the government will only result in about 75 new jobs.

    • http://www.facebook.com/lauren.michalek Lauren Michalek

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s great.

    • https://twitter.com/JenineHaggerty Her name is Rio

      Of which 73 would be drones. 2 to steal the money of course.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmcenanly James McEnanly

    I don’t know about building a spacecraft that can destroy a planet is part of Obama’s program, but dissolving the legislative branch might be, as the Emperor did in that movie.

  • Joseph Phillips

    If by hard they mean not at all, I believe them.

  • JustLikeAnimals

    Perhaps we could just convince Washington to blow itself up? That would be a great beginning to solving most of the ills of this country.

  • BeeKaaay

    The only reason they rejected this is because there are no cronies who are looking to build one.

  • Carolyn

    Did the administration actually TASK someone to figure out how much it would cost to build a “Death Star”? SERIOUSLY?

  • http://twitter.com/MoueLaMoue Moue La Moue (D)

    Whoever wrote the response to this — should take their schtick on the road! ‘Cause that’s funny right there.

  • Bolt Upright

    Looks like Bernany is going to have to stamp a couple more trillion dollar coins.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58ohH5YyZjo&feature=share&list=PL3jeXR9UBSRDaAqhUioB3NKZGdCehLMg5 Britt Wit

      Barry, that’s a top-ten’er. Hope you get some more likes! ha ha , thx

  • kelly curtis

    This is the response they gave after having a heart felt meeting with George Lucas, and then the cast from Star Trek (to hear all sides), and then with Erik Holder to see if this kind of fire power would be useful to sell to the Mexican Cartels to make it easier to spot them from Google Earth.

  • Richard Dalton

    Quit working, we can’t afford it !

  • Jack Levitt

    The folks currently occupying the White House are truly morons to craft such a nonsensical reply to something that is actually prohibited by treaty. I suppose this is just another case of them showing they will happily ignore the rule of law if it is cost effective or politically expedient…

    The Outer Space Treaty represents the basic legal framework of international space law. Among its principles, it bars States Parties to the Treaty from placing nuclear weapons or any other weapons of mass destruction in orbit of Earth, installing them on the Moon or any other celestial body, or to otherwise station them in outer space.

    The Outer Space Treaty, formally the Treaty on Principles
    Governing the Activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer
    Space, including the Moon and Other Celestial Bodies, is a treaty that forms the basis of international space law. The treaty was opened for signature in the United States, the United Kingdom, and the Soviet Union
    on January 27, 1967, and entered into force on October 10, 1967. As of
    October 2011, 100 countries are states parties to the treaty, while
    another 26 have signed the treaty but have not completed ratification.

    • geddys_uncle

      I think Ricardo “KHAAAAANNNNNN!” Montalban influenced India not to sigh.

    • Rabid

      You really should look into having an Emotion Chip installed.

      • Jack Levitt

        Frank Marshall Davis, “Obama I am your father.”

    • Cedric Freeman

      Ummmm..deathstar is not a weapon….its a mining tool.

      • Jack Levitt

        Ironically that is what radical green folks usually call mining equipment.

  • TheAmishDude

    I think for all the money Obama’s spent, we could have at least had a decent-sized star destroyer.

    • SPCAndyJ

      Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, I’m talking the big Corellian ships….

      • TN05

        Can it clear the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs?

        • geddys_uncle

          I don’t like you, either!

  • Biggus_Footus

    We could send manned missions to Mars, the moon, and Titan and Europa with just one year’s deficit spending. But that would employ Americans and wouldn’t grow the government nearly enough, so it’ll never happen.

  • Krimson

    Well, just mint a $850,000,000,000,000,000 coin and build the dang thing! Think of the jobs it would create!!!

  • Jer

    The Administration does not support blowing up planets. The U.S. economy, however, no problemo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/john.eustace.984 John Eustace

    I would say it was a joke, but it isn’t a joke with these clowns!

  • David Allen McKimmey

    Darth Obama: “Your lack of faith is disturbing”
    Obi Wan Limbaugh:” No sh*t, Sherlock!”