Jose Canseco solves fiscal cliff, sends hugs to Obama and Boehner, threatens to slap America-haters

The House has already signaled that it won’t vote tonight on legislation to avert a trip over the fiscal cliff, but maybe that’ll change once our elected representatives read this post. Jose Canseco has the solution, and the best part is that it fits handily within a handful of 140-character tweets. Frankly, we could write “cut spending” and have characters to spare, but we’re not the experts — Canseco is. Are you ready?

Whoa, we get to solve the fiscal cliff and save the earth in this deal? Canseco is like Superman — on steroids.

Canseco for president!

Damn it. That doesn’t stop Canseco from going to Washington, though, to do some, um, lobbying.

A slap and hugs? That’s what they call “tough love.”

  • Garth Haycock

    We can laugh, but Conseco has a more viable plan than the elected idiots in DC.

    • TroyGates

      Very true

    • BlueGood

      Yes, but those wankers in Wooshington can’t recognize a Fast Ball, let alone understand one, all they know and care about are Curve Balls!

  • Mama Bear

    His spelling and punctuation are better than most politicians as well.

  • TugboatPhil

    I’m with him up until the federal money for schools. We’ve dumped billions and gotten really pretty buildings with kids that know less and less each year.

    • Maxwell

      One thing I discovered is that most money given to schools tends to go to athletic programs, and new football stadiums. Until that changes, I say people should withhold money from schools.

      • louisiana_mom

        The athletic departments may receive a good portion of the funds but the majority of the funds go to state and local (county and city) administrators. The more funding the “schools” receive the more raises these administrators receive. Check out their salaries…

        • Catchance

          Exactly! I have been voting since 1964, and in all that time I have never once seen the money go to where they said it would go. As soon as they say, “It’s for the children” or “We’ll have to lay off teachers if you don’t pass this” I know it’s going to go to the administrators.

      • Hiraghm

        I’ll take a school funding program seriously that completely and entirely omits the word “computers”.

    • Hiraghm

      Don’t worry about it; we won’t HAVE any schools, except Moslem-funded madrassas, once the 7th century death cult bombs us into submission because our boys aren’t stomping their nuts into the ground over there.

  • Michelle Williams

    How many fast pitches did this guy take to the head?

    • Josephine (D)
    • CynicOwl

      Fastballs, fly balls, steroids, and a brief MMA career

    • $23907788

      it was not the “pitch” to the head that did it.

      have you never seen “THE BLOOPER”
      of him trying to catch the fly ball,
      and the ball hits him in the head

  • Josephine (D)

    Still smarter than most politicians.

  • $23629333

    So, Jose Friedman/Milton Canseco* wants to see “consuming go down”? That’s his goal with the economy puttering along like something out of Eastern Europe – before the Iron Curtain came down?

    Where has this (fill in the blank) notion come from that consumption is a bad thing? Consumption is the flip-side of production. If we’re going to have the latter, we have to have the former.

    (* I can’t decide which one I prefer)

    • AMERICAN Kafir™(KAdams)

      I dunno… maybe he’s confusing consumption with waste…

    • Hiraghm

      At the ending days of the Western Roman Empire… ships came to Rome laden with goods from across the world… and left port laden with nothing but gold.

      That is when consumption is bad.

  • BeeKaaay

    Replace the income tax with a sales tax? Good idea. But that will never happen. Greedy government will always push for both. And more.

    • Hiraghm

      Agreed. Notice the idiot didn’t say a FLAT sales tax; same amount on ALL items. That would be too… just.

      • BeeKaaay

        Hey, we can’t actually have a working 14th amendment! That would be unequal! :)

  • Alex

    I’m not big into sports, but I think I like this guy. He’s not beating around the bush and has a better plan than most politicians.
    Truth is, I’d vote for him if he decided to primary my Senator, Chambliss.

    • Hiraghm

      I wouldn’t. He’s a bigoted idiot, like all the rest who want to STEAL from the rich and give to the government.

  • Hiraghm

    “Whoa, we get to solve the fiscal cliff and save the earth in this deal? Canseco is like Superman — on steroids.”

    AND… we get to beat up on rich people. Since beating up on smokers has become passe’, we have to demonize the wealth creators…

  • Hiraghm

    Here’s a suggestion… stick to basing balls, Canseco.

  • Lady 12

    Logically, wouldn’t property tax hit the rich more than the poor? Just saying. Oh and by the way, we have sales tax in my state. It doesn’t change consuming, it’s nothing more than annoying, especially to the business owners.

  • SpokanePatriot

    I would propose one cent on every cash registar transaction. Plus, a luxuary tax…

  • Rightsaidfred

    Why should not being born in this country stop him? It didn’t stop Obama.

  • Carey Hayden

    Obama is not a natural born citizen and he got elected as President. Maybe Canseco really could run since we seem to have a theme of ignoring the US Constitution these days.