Bless his heart: Stompy foot Piers Morgan threatens to deport himself; citizens ask ‘is that a promise?’

Heh. That’s right, Americans. You must change your laws, and The Constitution, or else Piers “Musket” Morgan is taking his idjit ball and going home!

Definitive! If, of course, he means definitive whining, idiocy and attention-seeking.

Words, like thinking, are hard.

Some of his best friends are guns! No, really. This is what he is basing his oh-so-vast knowledge of firearms on:

Well, I do know a bit about guns, actually. My brother’s a lieutenant colonel in the British Army and has served tours of duty in Northern Ireland, the Balkans, Iraq and Afghanistan. My sister married a colonel who trained Princes William and Harry at Sandhurst. My uncle was a major in the Green Howards.

Stop, our sides can’t take it! The hilarity of the article itself is matched only by the hilarious response:

That’s right: In the alleged article, he threatens to deport himself if America doesn’t change its gun laws.

Oh, honey. It’s not a threat if people want you to leave, bless your heart.

Just precious.

Americans, being givers, offer to help speed up his stompy foot sandbox fleeing.

Sorry, United Kingdom! As Twitchy reported, they don’t want Musket Boy back, and, unlike Americans, they are hoping his threat isn’t a promise.

That sound you hear is a collective shudder from Canada. But, wait … have no fear, Canada. There is another option.

Heh. What will Musket Boy’s next move be? Stay tuned!

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