Salon's David Sirota suffers hilarious meltdown over Chick-fil-A's 'Jolly Barnyard' horror

The last couple of times we checked in with progressive author and Salon contributor David Sirota, he was race-baiting his way around the Twitterverse. But this week, Sirota has the vapors over something truly “insidious and dangerous”: a Chick-fil-A-branded version of the Little Golden Book classic “The Jolly Barnyard.” Evidently the children’s book fails to accurately depict the realities of the factory farm industry.

This absolute monstrosity of agri-propaganda for ages three and up amounts to what Sirota calls “Chick-fil-A’s latest horror.”

As Jonah Goldberg points out, this is not a parody. It doesn’t even have the stench of a failed Roger Simon-style satire. But that doesn’t make it any less hilarious.

So, how did this horror show of a Golden Book get into Sirota’s house anyway? He’s not sure since he and his family are vegetarians, but clearly the calculating “evil geniuses” at Chick-fil-A are to blame.


Despite his misgivings about anything related to Dan Cathy and Chick-fil-A, every night Sirota sits down with his two-year-old son to read all about Farmer Brown. Heaven forfend he simply buy a copy without Chick-fil-A branding for $3.99. Is 4 bucks really too much to prevent Chick-fil-A from literally rewiring his son’s brain to foster brand loyalty and love of Big Chikin?


Enter Ace of Spades to deliver a well-deserved drubbing:

Nope. Just crickets.

  • JackBlair

    Sirota is right – why aren’t the animals in the book all gay?

    • thatoneguy

      Don’t you mean, why aren’t they all gay vegans?

      • PennyRobinsonFanClub

        Like at Salon?

      • TugboatPhil

        Gay, Vegan, Environmentalists.

        • JustLikeAnimals

          Gay, Vegan, Environmentalist, Gungrabbers.

          • JustLikeAnimals

            …….who harass old ladies who mistakenly deposit banana peels into Post Office boxes.

  • ZoriahShepard

    Classic Sirota!

    • Zane Henry

      It’s always nice to get that surprise Christmas present a couple of days later. That guy is the epitome of what’s wrong with most men today.

      • Jay Stevens

        Sometimes I really feel like a dinosaur waiting for that giant meteor.

        • Zane Henry

          Another commenter here is building a meteor magnet. I’m with you guys.

  • Dick Beninya

    This guy is a walking tampon. I feel sorry fo offspring

  • mickeyco

    I just don’t know how these libs have room for all the indignation & anger they carry around over the dumbest things. We have real problems to worry about, folks. Remember “Don’t sweat the small stuff”?

  • conservativechick

    Thank GOD Salon may be gone next year. Disgusting online gossip rag!

    • JustLikeAnimals

      Yeah, I’m sure he confused the hell out of all 3 of their subscribers!!!!

  • traffic_robot

    BREAKING: advertising is geared towards a target audience. Adults and children are helpless in its wake.

  • BeyondPolls

    Should we eat only plants?
    Wait…some fringe liberals want plants’ rights…
    What should we eat? Twinkies?
    Wait…the unions killed those…
    Now I get it. But liberal logic, we should eat aborted children.

    • Guest

      That might be considered crossing into stem cell research…

      • BeyondPolls

        They could easily hide it under that category, couldn’t they?

    • almarquardt

      Soylent Green!

      • BeyondPolls


    • JustLikeAnimals

      Eating plants is racist. Just sayin’.

      • BeyondPolls

        What are the races of plants? #justwondrin

  • SpinMeNot

    “Eat recycled food. Its good for the environment and ok for you!”

    I like my chicken like I like my liberals, raised in a cage and deep fried at the peak of plumpness.

    • JustLikeAnimals


  • rwmofo

    It could get worse. Tragically, his kid may start watching cartoons with commercials promoting cool toys. Then he’ll be forced to consider paying Eeeevil corporations for fun stuff. Oh the humanity!

    • TugboatPhil

      Do you suppose he knows that getting hit in the head with a skillet won’t result in your head becoming skillet shaped? Or that chomping a stick of dynamite in your mouth like a cigar and having it explode will cause more than just burnt fur and charred clothing?

      • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

        You watch too many Cartoons too, Phil? So do I! XD Jawamax 8<{D}

        • TugboatPhil

          I just recently learned that fleas weren’t tiny prospectors and lumberjacks living on dog’s backs

          • diskinetic

            Oh, buddy, that was AWESOME.

      • Denise O’Connor

        I was hoping to try jumping off a cliff to get away from a coyote, getting flattened like a pancake and then springing up to run away with legs spinning so fast you can’t see them. Meep, meep. I saw it once as a kid and thought, wow, I have to try that someday.

        • TugboatPhil

          Whatever you do, don’t stand on the edge of a 1000 ft cliff holding an anvil, thinking you’ll drop the anvil on the varmint. You’ll only end up falling after the end of the cliff breaks off, then fall faster than the cliff and anvil.

          Upon impact with the valley below you’ll be embedded into the ground with just your head sticking up. The cliff edge will hit you on the head, causing the cliff to split, then a foot tall bump will rise out of your skull and the anvil will hit you on the bump, driving it and your head into the ground…..

          Ok. Maybe I have watched a few too many.

      • JustLikeAnimals


  • George Washington Mclintock

    It is my hope that the generation of kids oppressed by mincing, stickboy, dweeby parents like SIrota will revolt and become freedom-loving, Western watching, machine- gun ,owning meat eaters.Mark my words 30 or so years, San Fransisco could very well be redder than Louisville. You already can find signs.

    • JustLikeAnimals

      Hey, Sirota!!! My kid will be beating the crap our of your kid in a few years at school. Don’t worry! I’ll tell her to be gentle.

      • George Washington Mclintock

        Well Done, Sir!

  • Stephanie Warren

    Looks like someone forgot to take his meds today. Get this guy a chocolate bar!

    • JustLikeAnimals

      Better give him a chocolaty Ex-Lax because he is obviously full of Shiite!!

  • Tessa I.

    Somebody get this guy some organic free-trade smelling salts and a cruelty-free wind-farmed fainting couch.

  • Jack Deth

    Memo to Mr. Sirota:

    Here’s your sign!

    • John Thomas “Jack” Ward III

      #BillEngvall #BlueCollarComedy XD LOL Jawamax 8<{D}

  • db10

    i want to scream !!!!!! and they huffed and puffed ( obamajawana ) and blew our house down…

  • Umbra Fractus

    Ace makes everything better.

  • GTFOBigGovt

    What a COMPLETE moron. And I can say it a person who DOES abhor the factory farming system and only buys “certified humane” animal products.

    Right, If the baby loves the book go buy one without the Chick fil A branding FFS, right on Amazon. Cute little animals on a little farm eating, playing and smiling yada yada. No downer cows in sight.

    And as a PARENT? He doesn’t even realize that letting the kid enjoy the book would serve animals because when the kid grows up he won’t agree with abusing them for any purpose, either.

    Liberalism is a mental disorder, that is all.

  • peteee363

    there might be a jolly barnyard, but there is no jolly progressive!

  • RightThinking1

    Wait until he finds out that the third little pig really didn’t know how to build brick houses.

    • Catchance

      Wait until he finds out that the Poky Little Puppy was eaten by Obama.

      • RightThinking1

        We have a copy of The Pokey Little Puppy that has been read by three generations. If only we could get O. to read The Little Red Hen, he might grasp the reality of human nature.

  • lana ward

    Vegetarians are no more healthy than those who eat meat. Depriving kids meat IS child abuse

  • BeautifulAmerica

    Sirota the communist is against childhood innocence and happiness. Children are only to be used to spread propaganda of the left.

    FYI, Sirota, Golden Books are a pleasure to read and great for childrens’ imaginative development.

  • nkviking75

    What will he do if his kids start playing FarmVille?

  • Lisa Dean

    I’m sure he’d have a problem with the See N’ Say The Farmer Says too. Maybe he should teach his kids the song Phoebe sings on Friends Barnyard Animals…Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo….

  • RightThinking1

    Interestingly enough, the Left DO believe that The Giant has a hen that lays golden eggs.

    • redheadgrl


  • diskinetic

    I wonder how he feels about the tense interplay between the antelopes and the lions in “The Lion King”.

  • ember

    I can’t wait to see what he thinks of Barney & Friends.

  • TDS


    Chick-Fil-A is giving kids a book from 1978!

    The horror!