Live updates: Obama graces swooning press with his presence today; Will allegedly take questions!; Update: Admits he knows nothing, pats Rice on purty, little head; Update: Admits America deserves better than him

Classic empty podium!

As Twitchy reported, President Obama is finally gracing the press with his presence today. It’s been far too long; Unrequited love hurts!

President Obama was way too “exhausted” from campaigning to hold the traditional post-election presser. Priorities!

Are you sure about that Mr. Knoller? Or will the presser be filled with typical softball questions?

Twitter users prepare with some predicted questions.

There may not be time for all those, though.

OF course.

Heh. Can we spot him in the crowd?

Let’s start with this question:

And, away we go.

Letters. And stuff.

And, drink! Here comes the “middle class being held hostage” by those mean, old Rethuglicans. Post-partisan!

Come on, everyone had to tweet that. It’s classic drinking game fodder.

Rut-roh. Who asked that? They may not be invited back.

Bush! Drink again.

No pesky Petraeus questions, y’all. Buck passing, as always.

“Ask Herb in Human Resources. Or something.”

Actually, ask Herb everything.

Finally, he admits that he knows nothing. No, really. He said it.

Twitter users agree that he’s clueless.

He evidently still knows how to pander, though. Pander like the wind.

Wait, what?

Oh no.

For his aggravating pronunciations, he must pay.

Math, so hard!

Oh, dear. So is compromise.

Greatest Orator Ever: Compromise is hard.

Oh, softballs!

Oh, my! A Benghazi question actually enters the pathetic mix.

Obama defends her. Unbelievable. Well, totally believable, but still.

Big, strong man will protect the poor dear! Is he finally admitting the buck stops with him? Doubtful. He’s just trying to get people to shut up about the buck.

Bingo.

Sen. Graham lets Obama know that he does hold him totally accountable.

Heh. Campbell Brown notices Obama’s pitiful “big, strong man” Rice-defending behavior, too.

As does Kirsten Powers:

Wow! Ed Henry with an awesome question.

Obama is not pleased. How dare he ask a pertinent and probing question about something important?

Now he admits that America deserves far better than HIM.

Sigh.

Obama is a science denier?!!!111eleventy

Wait, no.

Lapdogs swoon madly.

Can they even function without having drool buckets at the ready?

Aww, poor baby won’t answer a “shouted” question. Poor precedent and stuff.

And, in a nutshell:

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