Change: Obama addresses looming fiscal cliff by calling for tax hikes

This afternoon, President Obama gave a brief statement (sans questions from the press, of course) on the state of the American economy and the impending fiscal cliff. He was greeted with the requisite whooping and applause that befits a messiah:

How utterly appropriate given that our nation’s fiscal and economic health hangs in the balance.

The president announced that he’s invited Congressional leaders to visit the White House for a cliff summit.

Once again, his timing is impeccable:

He’d have invited them sooner, but, well, he’s got to tour Southeast Asia right now.

You understand, don’t you? This trip just can’t wait — even though he claims that his top priorities are boosting jobs and growth:

Yeah, funny that. He failed to address the massive layoffs that are occurring among small businesses and corporations alike now that Obamacare regulations’ stranglehold on business owners will tighten.

So, how does the Lightbringer propose we get the economy back on track? By combining spending cuts with revenue — generated from asking wealthy Americans to pay their “fair share.” In short, tax hikes:

Obama cited John Boehner’s Wednesday speech in which the House Speaker stressed the importance of increasing tax revenue:

Indeed. As Twitchy reported yesterday, Boehner’s remarks were widely misinterpreted as a call for tax hikes. Boehner never did so, but facts are inconvenient to a president with a Leftist agenda.

Obama’s insistence that the fiscal cliff can be averted through tax hikes was accompanied by furious waving of the compromise flag. After all, he’s always shown himself to be in favor of a balanced approach to problem solving:

Aww, come on. He’s serious about it, you guys! He’s even got his pen ready:

He’s just waiting for the House to fall into lockstep. The Senate’s already on board. The same Senate that hasn’t passed a budget since April 9, 2009. Don’t dawdle, Republicans!

He’s got a plan, you see. The rich are going to bleed a little so America can prosper. It’s so simple!

Oh. Well, he hasn’t thought that far ahead. Places to go, people to bow to … you know how it is.

Yeah. We know how it is, all right.

The president won’t rest until his Marxist utopia has become a reality. Voting is no longer the best revenge; class warfare is.

And if we don’t do everything we can to throw a wrench in his agenda, America will lose.

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