Lachlan Markay (@lachlan) September 28, 2012
Borrow. Because she’ll totally pay it back after splurging on
tuition that limited edition Tiffany’s IUD.
You’ve come a long way, baby!
Out: tonsil vultures and foot rustlers. In: gold-plated condom thieves. Or thief. It’s just Mitt Romney coming for your luxury spermicide.
President Obama’s official campaign site features this precious e-card from a terrified young lass who fears the villainous Mitt Romney will do away with a lady’s God-given right to 18 grand in taxpayer-funded birth control. Why does Romney hate women? And diamond-encrusted diaphragms?
Kemberlee Kaye helpfully translates the e-card. She’s a giver:
“Hey Mom, how’s it going? So, I was hoping to get laid this weekend and was hoping you’d spot me $18,000 to buy birth control. I’ll like totally pay you back.” SAID NO ONE EVER.
Math, it’s so very hard. Flukenomics: that’s where it’s at!
This isn’t the first time Team Obama has created, uh, friction with the $18,000 figure.
Evidently we’re to believe that’s how much the Trojan Man of the People will save the poor, beleaguered womenfolk over a lifetime.
Scary thought: take out the first sentence of the e-card and it could be a postcard from the future.
The question we may all soon be asking: